The homeless are celebrating the Conservative victory as they are looking forward to making lots of new friends.

We spoke to Brian Thompson, a Big Issue seller from Birmingham city centre who agreed. “It’ll be great to have some fresh faces round here. When I was first on the street there was a nice gang of us round here but now, thanks to the old mortality rate, it’s just me and the dog that’s left. I almost look forward to the occasional bit of abuse just for someone new to talk to.”

We spoke to a Conservative MP about the steady rise in homelessness under his party’s rule but he was unapologetic. “There’s been a 24% increase in homeless mortality in the last 5 years so you can say we haven’t done anything to bring it down.”