Sport

Transfer News: In a shock late move, minnows Rochdale have thrashed out a deal with giants Manchester United. As this weekend brought an end to the movement of players between clubs, Manchester United have agreed...

Snooker player Judd Trump has announced that he is to change his name by deed poll following a series of incidents whereby people saw his surname and associated him with SCROTUS Donald Trump. “It’s been...

British Prime Minister Theresa May is to mud wrestle naked with Scottish nationalist leader Nicola Sturgeon for the right to trigger article 50 to take the United Kingdom out the European Union. Sources close to the prime...

Fury has erupted in the cricketing World as power mad Eurocrats have forced England cricketers into wearing EU coloured pink caps. The Euro-wankers, already quaking at the prospect of an ever more successful looking Brexit,...

A big penis has spoken out today to deny any attachment to Manchester United striker Romelu Lukaku. Speaking to reporters outside his home address, the massive cock sought to distance himself from non-white people in...

Dragon philanderer, Ryan Giggs’ ex-wife Stacey Giggs, spoke of her excitement today as she is finally set to be awarded half of the Giggs estate in a huge ceremony in Cardiff. There will be a...

A new survey of football fans has discovered that Manchester United fans have significantly smaller penises than men who follow other teams. "It's not just the size" said knob measuring boffin Dr Klopp of Rochdale's...

The BBC have announced that John Inverdale will present a dog toy or sextoy game during rain delays at this year's Wimbledon championships.  The move comes amidst concerns that the BBC couldn't screen an impromptu Cliff Richard...

In a move heralded as a new, cleaner era for the International Olympics Committee Lord Sauron announced announced his candidacy for the presidency of  the movement during the opening ceremony of the Rio 2016...

It has been revealed that last night's violence at the London stadium was caused when West Ham fans chanted the name of the Bake Off winner. Knowing full well that Chelsea fans had it...

Bernie Ecclestone's brave gamble with Brazilian kidnappers backfired spectacularly last night when his Mother-in-Law was released fit and well from her 9 day captivity. Formula 1 owner Ecclestone had resolutely refused to negotiate with the...

British superstars Jonny and Alister Brownlee were today crowned world 3 legged triathlon race champions in a nail biting finish in Mexico. Although crossing the line behind the South Africans they were credited the win...

More than 1000 Russian athletes have been implicated as drug cheats by a report today. The Rochdale Herald asks "Only 1000. Really?" At least 30 sports including football have been subject to a state sponsored...

Charlotte Dujardin became the second woman to win three Olympic gold medals today when she came first in the "Horse Dancing" contest this afternoon. A "close personal friend" of cyclist Laura Trott, who became...

There is widespread shock around England today after the English voting public voted 52% to 48% for the England football team to leave the World Cup despite making it into the semi-finals. Following the vote...

Ruddy faced racists up and down the country are said to have mixed feelings about England getting through to the World Cup Semi Finals for the first time in 28 years after a bloke...