England ready for Adelaide Ashes Test
Ahead of the second Ashes Test which has just started in Adelaide, England captain Joe Root sought to defuse the simmering tension between the...
Police called after black man beats the snot out of white guy live on...
Police were called to an address in Las Vegas earlier this morning after reports of a white man beaten senseless in an organised fight....
Thousands dead in Daily Mail Olympics tragedy
Thousands of Daily Mail readers are dead today after their heads exploded whilst reading the rag's coverage of the Olympics.
Mild confusion over the juxtaposition...
Daily Mail editor defends decision to exclude Gold medallist with alopecia from cover
The editor at the Daily Mail has allegedly defended his decision to only put two of the gold medalists from the four woman, world...
Trump accused of damaging reputation of fat, racist golfers everywhere
Donald Trump has been asked to give up golf as he is tarnishing its reputation and attracting the wrong type of people into the...
Kate Middleton and Meghan Markle should settle rift with bikini jelly wrestling demand Daily...
Daily Express readers have today demanded that Meghan Markle and Kate Middleton settle their differences with a bout of bikini jelly wrestling.
Express reader, Ian...
Daily Mail editor on suicide watch as rumours of Mo Farah knighthood circulate
There are genuine fears for the editor of The Daily Mail after a Somali born Muslim Immigrant ran to a double double victory at...
ISIS applies for FIFA membership
The murderous psychopathic caliphate known as ISIS has applied to join the world football governing body, FIFA.
In a surprise move, they hope to be...
Wenger at wits end as he cannot figure out how to get sack from...
Arsene Wenger was left frustrated after the end of a tumultuous week which saw Arsenal lose twice against Manchester city and rounded off by...
Rochdale tipster to tax the Bookies
Horse racing journalists, tipsters, jockeys and even some dodgy-looking trainers are queuing up to apply for the Rochdale council's new Chief Executive of Betting...
Mixed feelings for Tommy Robinson supporters as bloke called Ali puts England into semi...
Ruddy faced racists up and down the country are said to have mixed feelings about England getting through to the World Cup Semi Finals...
Big penis denies any link to Romelu Lukaku
A big penis has spoken out today to deny any attachment to Manchester United striker Romelu Lukaku.
Speaking to reporters outside his home address, the...
Study finds Manchester United fans have smallest penises
A new survey of football fans has discovered that Manchester United fans have significantly smaller penises than men who follow other teams.
"It's not just...
Weight lifting record smashed at Vegan Olympics as competitor lifts his arms above head
Records have been tumbling all week at the very first running of The Vegan Olympics taking place in Turkey.
The first big record smashed was...
Diver and Synchronised Partner win Olympic Gold
In a bizarre twist that no one seems to understand, two unknown divers who were neither Tom Daley nor his synchronised diving partner have...
EFL admits to buying its footballs from a petrol station on Rochdale
The English Football League has admitted buying its footballs from Denny’s Auto Diesel & Spar Mini-Mart on the Bury New Road in Rochdale.
The...
