It has been crowned the greatest sporting achievement at the London Stadium since the 2012 Olympics.

There was shock and surprise as a West Ham United fan ran 50 yards on the London Stadium pitch, without pausing for a fag break.

Lifetime West Ham Fan Bob Less started his journey to vent his frustration at the board at 3:05pm on Saturday. After walking the distance equivalent from Kings Cross to Euston tube stations just to get to the pitch side from the back row, Mr Less did pause for a Pukka Pie to regain some composure.

However, in a sheer feat of determination never seen since the coup of the London Stadium by the Hammers board, he pulled off something that West Ham fans have not seen on the pitch in years. A mazy 50 yard run from the corner flag, almost reaching the halfway line before being tackled. To add to the herculean effort it was noted that he had not once paused to open his packet of Regal King Size, so he could spark up to catch his breath.

Generic East London wide boy Franny Fryer spoke to the Rochdale Herald about what he witnessed. We thank Language line international translation services for deciphering the majority of the transcript.

“I couldn’t believe my mince pies when I saw the geezer. It was all getting a bit Sheffield United out there. I’d had an Alexi Sayle earlier in the day to say there would be protests, but not massive sporting achievements. He made it all look ham and cheesy, so we were all scotch pegging him on. He’s gonna get a nice little Anthea Turner from The Sun for his Jackanory i reckon.”

Many fans were already upset at the thought that a team from the north of England outside of Manchester or Liverpool was allowed to play football in the Premier league although there was massive surprise and admiration from the West Ham Fans to those from Burnley who had learned how to stand and walk on their hind legs.

West Ham United have issued a statement that a full inquiry will take place into how to sign Mr Less for the remainder of the season.