Shock News: Tyson Fury Tests Positive For Horlicks
The Rochdale Herald can exclusively reveal Tyson Fury was declared medically unfit to fight because he tested positive for Horlicks.
The IBF have banned Horlicks, a...
Moron says something moronic
A moron has uttered a statement that is totally devoid of intelligence, it has emerged.
The exact words used in this situation concerned a...
Andy Murray’s Mum still won’t let him quit tennis club
The Rochdale Herald has discovered that Andy Murray's Mum still won't let him quit tennis club.
"She promised me that if I won Wimbledon I...
Daily Mail readers push uphill for Gardner
Daily Mail readers have insisted that Dressage individual gold medalist Charlotte Dujardin is renamed Charlie Gardner as her name has been deemed "too French"...
FA launch tactical nuclear strike at semi-final of Women’s Euro 2017
The Football Association has long been implacably opposed to the rise of the women’s game. When it first got popular, the FA acted swiftly...
Paul Dacre hospitalised with stress after English Muslim cricketer wins man of the match...
Caught between "Moeen Ali spins England to victory!" and "Fury as Muslim immigrant takes YOUR place in the ENGLAND cricket team", the Daily Mail's...
Weight lifting record smashed at Vegan Olympics as competitor lifts his arms above head
Records have been tumbling all week at the very first running of The Vegan Olympics taking place in Turkey.
The first big record smashed was...
Touching scenes as Rooney reunited with hair transplant donor
Footage has been revealed of the touching scenes when Wayne Rooney was reunited with his hair donor.
The meeting took place on the rock of...
Moaning Mourinho In Lip Wobble Outburst
The future of games at Old Trafford are in doubt after Manchester United Manager Jose Mourinho demanded the removal of peas from referee's whistles...
Team GB to announce Stable Door Shutting as new olympic sport
Team GB are set to announce that "Stable Door Shutting" will become an Olympic sport, The Rochdale Herald has learned.
Following the UK government's announcement...
Supermarkets completely free of dickheads right now, for some reason
Supermarkets across the country are reportedly completely dickhead free for the first time since 1990 according to sources.
The complete absence of knuckle dragging fuckwits...
Significantly lower brain function can lead to heading footballs, scientists reveal
Scientists have revealed that significantly lower brain function can lead to being a footballer.
Researchers said they had identified "significantly lower levels of brain function"...
Football players saving us all by not taking a pay cut
The Professional Footballers Association have warned that a 30% cut in their members' wages would damage the NHS as it would reduce the amount...
Lord Sauron announces IOC leadership bid
In a move heralded as a new, cleaner era for the International Olympics Committee Lord Sauron announced announced his candidacy for the presidency of...
Euro TV Satellite expected to fall on Rochdale: “Nothing to fear” say boffins
28.2E Astra2/Eurobird1 may not mean anything to most people, but it is very much in the minds of worried Rochdale residents who have recently...
Local Rochdale bowls club rocked by doping allegations
The Annual General Meeting of the Bamford Bowls Club was rocked by a scandal when multiple mens champion David Thrimbleton was accused of cheating by a...
