Theresa May pledges to not remain silent on pee in swimming pools
Prime Minister Theresa May has pledged to not remain silent on the growing problem of pee in swimming pools highlighted in a shock report...
Thousands dead in Daily Mail Olympics tragedy
Thousands of Daily Mail readers are dead today after their heads exploded whilst reading the rag's coverage of the Olympics.
Mild confusion over the juxtaposition...
Rooney Returns to Everton because ‘I missed my Nan’
Overweight, red faced, former England captain Wayne Rooney is to leave Manchester United to return to his first club Everton as part of a...
Horses! Football! And that’s all we have time for!
And they’re off
It’s Ascot in the lead, neck and neck with Sunny Weather, but coming up on the outside it’s Posh Girls Who Look...
Spanish bullfighters win inaugural Animal Cruelty World Cup
Spain’s bullfighters have won the inaugural Animal Cruelty World Cup in Brazil, narrowly beating the foxhunters of England in the final.
The competition, in...
Canoeist wins Olympic Gold for canoeing
A canoeist fulfilled a lifetime's ambition last night after winning Olympic Gold for Britain in Rio.
The Rochdale Herald would like to congratulate the canoeist...
House of Commons to close for week to hold UK Cat Herding Championships
Following months of political turmoil in the UK and the shining example of incompetence that is the brexit negotiations, the political landscape is now...
Sneaky German declares Last Goal’s the Winner and takes ball home
Sneaky German and part-time Finn Nico Rosberg has pulled off the all-time-shittiest Schoolboy trick by declaring the last goal the winner as the ball was already in the net!
East London Charity Shops on standby to get loads of West Ham training kit...
East London charity shops are preparing for a bumper delivery of training kit and promotional items after West Ham appointed David Moyes to their...
Britain buoyed by approval of Autumn Olympics
There were wild scenes of celebration from keen athletics fans up and down the UK this morning, as the head of the Seasonal Olympics...
Poppies outraged at being hijacked by intolerable, out of touch band of Nationalists.
The prima-donna XI, also known as the England National football team, have confirmed that they will take to the pitch against Germany this Friday,...
Vegan runs Great South Run without telling anybody he’s a vegan
A vegan has reportedly completed the Great South Run today without feeling the need to tell everyone.
Police and HMRC raid Arsenal after silver polish claim on VAT return
More tax scandal has hit the Premier League last night after police swooped on the Arsenal stadium after they tried to claim the VAT...
Lib Dems thrilled at prospect of fielding a football team again
Tim Farron says he's over the moon at being able to field a full football team of MP's. Mr Farron told the Herald.
"This is great....
Daily Mail readers push uphill for Gardner
Daily Mail readers have insisted that Dressage individual gold medalist Charlotte Dujardin is renamed Charlie Gardner as her name has been deemed "too French"...
USA accused of cheating at Rock, Paper, Scissors – ‘It’s just not cricket’ says...
The world of sport was outraged yesterday when Team USA was accused of cheating at the Rock, Paper, Scissors Test Match.
If the result stands,...
