Wayne Rooney retires from International Football to spend more time with other people’s grandmas
Wayne Rooney has announced that he intends to spend more time with other peoples grandmothers after retiring from international football.
Rooney explained, "I've been all...
Russia announce plans for “performance enhanced” Olympics
Russia are set to announce plans to introduce the worlds first "performance enhanced" Olympics, we can reveal.
As many around the world will know, Russia...
Lord Sauron announces IOC leadership bid
In a move heralded as a new, cleaner era for the International Olympics Committee Lord Sauron announced announced his candidacy for the presidency of...
Woakes Croaks – Jokes Hoax Chokes Stokes’ Folks
It has been revealed that a story about England cricket all-rounder Ben Stokes, which was definitely not printed in the Rochdale Herald, was a...
Female Russian athletes call 2018 Winter Olympics ban ‘a real kick in the nuts’
The Russian Olympic Committee has reacted angrily to its ban from next year's Winter Olympics in South Korea, with female athletes in particular calling...
Balding just 2 Gold medals away from on air orgasm
BBC sports anchor and part time Eddie Izzard lookalike Claire Balding is quite literally on the edge of making TV history by being the...
Theresa May pledges to not remain silent on pee in swimming pools
Prime Minister Theresa May has pledged to not remain silent on the growing problem of pee in swimming pools highlighted in a shock report...
Ben Stokes argues fighting in street a necessary part of training to tour Australia.
All-rounder and England vice-captain Ben Stokes may have put his part in England's ashes tour in jeopardy following his arrest in the early hours...
The Rochdale Herald’s Top Ten Tips for Real Supporters and True Football Fans
In honour of signing world famous football man Neville Southall to the Rochdale Herald, here are our top ten tips for real supporters and...
Tom Daley admits pissing in pool
Great British diving legend Tom Daley, who recently claimed Bronze in the synchronized diving with his partner (Dan something or other), has sensationally confessed...
Theresa May to Naked Mud Wrestle Nicola Sturgeon for the Right to Trigger Brexit
British Prime Minister Theresa May is to mud wrestle naked with Scottish nationalist leader Nicola Sturgeon for the right to trigger article 50 to take the...
Stormzy shuts up agent after transfer confusion
Following the glaring error made by Irish newspaper, The Herald (no relation) where a picture of the grime MC was used instead of Romelu...
NEWS FLASH – Mo Farah out of 10,000 Metres
On the eve of the Olympic 10,000 Metres Mo Farah has dramatically retired from running.
Maurice Farah, 58 and owner of Streamline Taxis on the...
Rose Gold for afternoon strolls
After a 112 year wait to prove how good we are at walking slowly around a park Britain's Justin Rose yesterday casually sealed gold...
Trump accused of damaging reputation of fat, racist golfers everywhere
Donald Trump has been asked to give up golf as he is tarnishing its reputation and attracting the wrong type of people into the...
Foreigners with British citizenship MUST support England in the football, IT’S THE LAW
A Brazilian woman and her South African friend, who have both recently attained British citizenship, have been reported to the authorities after announcing that...
