Rochdale football star, Wayne “Chopper” Gascoigne has been transferred to Accrington Stanley for a record 198p (€1.77) and a box of steak and onion crisps.

The move shatters the previous record of 98p set last year when Darren “Daz” Davidson transferred to Ashby-de-la-Zouche in 2016.

The move was thrashed out by representatives from both teams at a Toby Carvery in Burnley two weeks ago. Rochdale chairman, Derek “1 more strike and you’re out” Richardson said, “The money we’ll get will be invested in the club. We’ve found one of those fancy line marking machines that you push on Gumtree that we’re going to buy.”
Chopper said, “It’s a good move for me. There’s been lots of questions about my future. My mum asked me where I’m thinking of going on holiday this year. Now I can say Lancaster. Plus my wife is really pleased. She’s looking forward to moving to Blackburn because they have them fancy Greggs with a drive-thru.”

Chopper married his wife, Frascati, 4 months ago in a lavish ceremony that involved them being seated on Artelia garden chairs. She told the Herald, “This is a really good move for us. It means Chopper can still keep his job delivering chicken and lager on weeknight evenings. Plus we can settle down and start a family. I’ve even put a deposit on a 1998 Renault Espace.

Not everyone was so impressed though. Rochdale fan Dwayne Defoe said, Accrington Stanley… Who the hell are they?”