Sport

Using drugs that are not banned but enhance performance is definitely not cheating." That's what head of British cycling Zammo Maguire says today. McGuire was speaking after a Parliamentary report was released on alleged doping....

Overweight, heavy drinking child rape apologist and national embarrassment Eric Bristow has responded to the horrific revelations that young children have been sodomised by a football coach by implying that real children should take it like a man.

Former Chelsea Striker Diego Costa says he did not want to leave the club on bad terms, after being dragged kicking and screaming from a burning effigy of Antonio Conte at the Chelsea training...

As the second half of the Manchester derby got underway, reports were coming in that Wayne Rooney had joined Britain First. During the halftime team talk, United manager Jose Mourinho told simpleton, Rooney, "I want...

The Toon Army are rejoicing following the news that Sports Direct Entrepreneur Sweat Shop owner, Mike Ashley, is to sell the Magpies. Realising that he is losing money hand-over-fist due to being unable get any...

Bernie Ecclestone is said to have received the news of his mother-in-law's kidnap with mixed emotions this morning In an exclusive interview with the Rochdale Herald this afternoon he told us; "It's not everyday that you...

Man's best friend can now get even closer to the World Cup action. As Dogs will be allowed on the field during World Cup games.  Fifa announced today that during the World Cup, hosted by Russia, stray...

Reports are emerging that the International Olympic Committee has convened to discuss cancelling this year's summer Olympics.  The report, which comes to The Rochdale Herald from sports correspondent Veranda Barbecue, details plans to call off...

The prima-donna XI, also known as the England National football team, have confirmed that they will take to the pitch against Germany this Friday, displaying the poppy. However poppies up and down the country have...

England's opening match of the World Cup campaign was as dull as ditchwater proving that the news of Joe Hart's transfer from Man City to Torino on loan isn't because of his love of...

In a bizarre twist that no one seems to understand, two unknown divers who were neither Tom Daley nor his synchronised diving partner have won gold for GB in the 3m spring board event...

It appears that politics will see a tornado of excitement and enthusiasm as Jeremy Corbyn is planning to bring in the current Arsenal manager to boost his election team. Despite the full backing of Arsenal...

The World is in shock today after a bloke who has a well documented history of taking performance enhancing drugs ran a bit faster than a bloke who doesn't.

As the Olympic curling competition reaches its 14th straight day, Russian athlete Alexander Krushelnitsky has tested positive for the stimulant RedBull and been banished from the games. As viewers all over the world struggle...

Gareth Southgate has revealed that his plan to completely disappoint loads of English people is going exactly according to plan. At a press conference Southgate said, "Expectations for this tournament were so low when we...

Prime Minister Theresa May has pledged to not remain silent on the growing problem of pee in swimming pools highlighted in a shock report released earlier this week. "Clearly this something that previous administrations have...