Sport

Statisticians today pointed to a 25% increase in Muslims appearing among the top four run scorers in the England cricket team.  "It appears the sneaky Islamists are obtaining access to the team by posing as...

The BBC has announced that their annual jockfest 'Sports Personality of the Year' is to be renamed 'Sportsperson of the Year' following an investigation under the Trades Descriptions Act.  BBC spokesman Damian D'Amienne said; "We have...

Former Chelsea Striker Diego Costa says he did not want to leave the club on bad terms, after being dragged kicking and screaming from a burning effigy of Antonio Conte at the Chelsea training...

The pie faced gravy rhyming bastard, who obtained Royal recognition for being good at throwing things made the comment after a series of ill judged drunken Tweets last night. Within them he also stated that victims...

Donald Trump has been asked to give up golf as he is tarnishing its reputation and attracting the wrong type of people into the game. Fat, white, affluent, vaguely racist, middle-aged golfers are appalled...

Bernie Ecclestone's brave gamble with Brazilian kidnappers backfired spectacularly last night when his Mother-in-Law was released fit and well from her 9 day captivity. Formula 1 owner Ecclestone had resolutely refused to negotiate with the...

England footballer, Raheem Sterling has said he's going to start offering tours of his tattoos. Sterling made the announcement when he met members of the English media yesterday to discuss his chances of getting...

Transfer News: In a shock late move, minnows Rochdale have thrashed out a deal with giants Manchester United. As this weekend brought an end to the movement of players between clubs, Manchester United have agreed...

As the Olympic curling competition reaches its 14th straight day, Russian athlete Alexander Krushelnitsky has tested positive for the stimulant RedBull and been banished from the games. As viewers all over the world struggle...

There were wild scenes of celebration from keen athletics fans up and down the UK this morning, as the head of the Seasonal Olympics committee Stavros Davros gave his approval for a proposed Autumn...

Thousands of Daily Mail readers are dead today after their heads exploded whilst reading the rag's coverage of the Olympics. Mild confusion over the juxtaposition between the length of Helen Skelton's skirt and the Egyptian...

28.2E Astra2/Eurobird1 may not mean anything to most people, but it is very much in the minds of worried Rochdale residents who have recently learned that the high-tech TV satellite is expected to fall...

An actual grown up man has won a really long race around France on a children's toy.  The Team Sky rider from Cardiff, Geraint Thomas, became the first Welshman to win something after crossing the...

Albert Froom was declared the winner of the Brown Vest yesterday after winning his fourth Tour De Rochdale. The famous bicycle race starts at The Duckworth Arms in Ramsbottom and ends The Bay Horse in...

The Russian Olympic Committee has reacted angrily to its ban from next year's Winter Olympics in South Korea, with female athletes in particular calling the move 'a real kick in the nuts'. The ban comes...

The prima-donna XI, also known as the England National football team, have confirmed that they will take to the pitch against Germany this Friday, displaying the poppy. However poppies up and down the country have...