East London charity shops are preparing for a bumper delivery of training kit and promotional items after West Ham appointed David Moyes to their bed-next-to-the-door Manager role.

Moyes, who has come to specialise in only completing a few months of 3 year contracts, is said to be delighted at this opportunity to get a massive pay-off in the spring.

Porn enthusiast and West Ham owner David Sullivan said Moyes has a point to prove and is “hungry to get things right” after being appointed as the new manager.

The Manchester United, Real Sociedad & Sunderland boss must be nigh-on fucking starving to get things right as he enters his 4th job in 4 seasons.

West Ham joint chairman David Sullivan said the 54-year-old Scot is “the right man to turn things around. And also cheap”

He added: “We need somebody with experience, knowledge of the Premier League and the players in it, and we believe David can get the best out of the players. And also he is cheap

“He is highly regarded and respected within the game and will bring fresh ideas, organisation and enthusiasm. And is, well, cheap

“He proved with Everton that he has great qualities and we feel that West Ham United is a club that will give David the platform to display those qualities again. Did I mention cheap?”

Moyes’ first game in charge will be at Watford in the Premier League on 19 November. He last is scheduled to be Saturday 31st March 2018 at home to Southampton.

He told the Rochdale Herald “I’ve managed five clubs since starting out nearly 20 years ago at Preston and then going to Everton. My period at Manchester United is well documented and I then did something I have always wanted to do by experiencing management abroad, with Real Sociedad. Also I am cheap

“And to be honest” he said “I’m not even bothered that they have written my name on the Manager’s Office in chalk…..the board rubber hanging next to it is a bit rude though”