Supermarkets completely free of dickheads right now, for some reason

0
Supermarkets across the country are reportedly completely dickhead free for the first time since 1990 according to sources. The complete absence of knuckle dragging fuckwits...
Christiano Ronaldo

Just £300,000 a month can feed a footballer for a whole week. Please give...

2
It can be harrowing, truly tragic to see, to see a young, athletic, talented man to have to survive in squalid conditions, living on...
Cricket

Man with double-barrelled surname good at cricket.

18
MCC members expressed their delight yesterday that at long last someone with a proper surname was good at cricket. "It's a shame young Toby Roland-Jones...

The Rochdale Herald’s Top Ten Tips for Real Supporters and True Football Fans

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In honour of signing world famous football man Neville Southall to the Rochdale Herald, here are our top ten tips for real supporters and...
Geraint Thomas

Actual grown up man wins race around France on child’s toy

0
An actual grown up man has won a really long race around France on a children's toy.  The Team Sky rider from Cardiff, Geraint Thomas,...

Transfer News: Surprise deal Rochdale – Man Utd

0
Transfer News: In a shock late move, minnows Rochdale have thrashed out a deal with giants Manchester United. As this weekend brought an end to...
England fans

Mixed feelings for Tommy Robinson supporters as bloke called Ali puts England into semi...

0
Ruddy faced racists up and down the country are said to have mixed feelings about England getting through to the World Cup Semi Finals...

Raheem Sterling to start giving guided tours of his tattoo’s

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England footballer, Raheem Sterling has said he's going to start offering tours of his tattoos. Sterling made the announcement when he met members of...
Trump Golf Twitter

Trump accused of damaging reputation of fat, racist golfers everywhere

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Donald Trump has been asked to give up golf as he is tarnishing its reputation and attracting the wrong type of people into the...

Ryan Giggs’ ex-wife confirms she now has 6 more Premier League winner’s medals than...

26
Dragon philanderer, Ryan Giggs’ ex-wife Stacey Giggs, spoke of her excitement today as she is finally set to be awarded half of the Giggs...
Football Riot

Belgian football riot shows EU is hungry for UK exports says Liam Fox

0
A football riot at a Belgian football match between Anderlecht and Club Brugge demonstrates the hunger for British exports according to Liam Fox. In a...
Billy Morgan

Winter Olympics: Billy Morgan carries EU flag instead of Union Jack at closing ceremony

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Snowboarding bronze medallist Billy Morgan carried the EU flag instead of the Union Jack at the Winter Olympics closing ceremony on Sunday. Morgan, 28, won...

Thousands dead in Daily Mail Olympics tragedy

9
Thousands of Daily Mail readers are dead today after their heads exploded whilst reading the rag's coverage of the Olympics. Mild confusion over the juxtaposition...

Weight lifting record smashed at Vegan Olympics as competitor lifts his arms above head

0
Records have been tumbling all week at the very first running of The Vegan Olympics taking place in Turkey. The first big record smashed was...

Owning an IKEA loyalty card doesn’t count as Swedish heritage, disappointed Scots told

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Avid football fans across Scotland were left disappointed earlier today when it was confirmed that membership of IKEA's Family Card scheme does not count as Swedish heritage.  The news comes...
England Fans

SHOCK as England fans vote 52 to 48 to LEAVE the World Cup

There is widespread shock around England today after the English voting public voted 52% to 48% for the England football team to leave the...

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