Horse Racing

Horses! Football! And that’s all we have time for!

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And they’re off It’s Ascot in the lead, neck and neck with Sunny Weather, but coming up on the outside it’s Posh Girls Who Look...

Fury as EU force England Cricket Team to wear pink caps

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Fury has erupted in the cricketing World as power mad Eurocrats have forced England cricketers into wearing EU coloured pink caps. The Euro-wankers, already quaking...
Peeing Cyclist

Man who provided bags of piss for top cyclists nominated for sports personality of...

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Top cycling teams have been paying tribute to the man who provides fresh urine to high profile Tour de France riders for drugs tests. Chopper...

Diver and Synchronised Partner win Olympic Gold

In a bizarre twist that no one seems to understand, two unknown divers who were neither Tom Daley nor his synchronised diving partner have...

Dirty Politics

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Britain's next Prime Minister is guaranteed to be female but what most people don't know yet is that only one of the contenders will...

Eric Bristow checks out aged 20 double top

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Eric Bristow, the world's oldest ever darts player, was at the Premier League Darts event at Liverpool's Echo Arena when he checked out aged...

Football team goes one point ahead in Premiership.

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Fans of popular football team Chelsea Albion were agog with joy today when the team went one point ahead of arch rivals Liverpool Wanderers...
Wayne Rooney

Wayne Rooney moves from second best team in Manchester to second best team in...

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Thatched-roofed footballer Wayne Rooney was yesterday given away by the second best team in Manchester to the second best team in Liverpool. He moves...

Significantly lower brain function can lead to heading footballs, scientists reveal

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Scientists have revealed that significantly lower brain function can lead to being a footballer. Researchers said they had identified "significantly lower levels of brain function"...

Theresa May to Naked Mud Wrestle Nicola Sturgeon for the Right to Trigger Brexit

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British Prime Minister Theresa May is to mud wrestle naked with Scottish nationalist leader Nicola Sturgeon for the right to trigger article 50 to take the...

Britain buoyed by approval of Autumn Olympics

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There were wild scenes of celebration from keen athletics fans up and down the UK this morning, as the head of the Seasonal Olympics...

It’s impossible to sandpaper a netball, concede Australians

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Long standing dominance of sport by Australia and New Zealand ended by incredible English performance Some say Australian carpentry skill brings them closer to Christ....
Trump furious to learn Farage isn't 'King of England'

Trump Demands IOC Accept Extreme Vetting Into Next Olympics

Merkin-topped braggart and presidential candidate Donald Trump is demanding that extreme vetting become an accepted Olympic sport. Although media have interpreted his remarks on extreme...

Britain’s first Dog Fighting arena to get go ahead in Rochdale

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The often misunderstood sport of dog fighting will soon move from the underground scene to a purpose-built two-hundred seat arena in Rochdale. With a...

Ryan Giggs’ ex-wife confirms she now has 6 more Premier League winner’s medals than...

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Dragon philanderer, Ryan Giggs’ ex-wife Stacey Giggs, spoke of her excitement today as she is finally set to be awarded half of the Giggs...

FIFA poppy row escalates

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British football fans have been advised that if they object to FIFA's stance on its national teams wearing poppies on armistice day, then they...

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