Lukaku leaves second best club in Liverpool for second best club in Manchester
Lukaku is thought to be worth approximately 50m but has signed for United with an additional premium unofficially known as the 'United surcharge'.
Lukaku's...
Eric Bristow MBE says beaten women aren’t ‘proper men’
The pie faced gravy rhyming bastard, who obtained Royal recognition for being good at throwing things made the comment after a series of ill...
Corbyn hires Arsene Wenger as Labour Manager
It appears that politics will see a tornado of excitement and enthusiasm as Jeremy Corbyn is planning to bring in the current Arsenal manager...
Huddersfield Town sign Paul Nuttall for a record fee
The journeyman striker was signed for an undisclosed amount, although it is "considerably more" than the previous record fee of forty Rothmans and a...
Daily Mail editor defends decision to exclude Gold medallist with alopecia from cover
The editor at the Daily Mail has allegedly defended his decision to only put two of the gold medalists from the four woman, world...
Fury as EU force England Cricket Team to wear pink caps
Fury has erupted in the cricketing World as power mad Eurocrats have forced England cricketers into wearing EU coloured pink caps.
The Euro-wankers, already quaking...
Real children take it like a man says Eric Bristow
Overweight, heavy drinking child rape apologist and national embarrassment Eric Bristow has responded to the horrific revelations that young children have been sodomised by a football coach by implying that real children should take it like a man.
FA enquiries into unusual betting
The Football Association today launched an inquiry into what it described as 'very bizarre' wagers placed with bookies regarding recent matches.
The FA spokesman, Brian...
Media finally find someone who didn’t already think all professional cyclists were on drugs
Shocking news broke this week that not everyone in the UK considers professional cyclists to be routine drug users.
Other media outlets this week revealed...
Man with double-barrelled surname good at cricket.
MCC members expressed their delight yesterday that at long last someone with a proper surname was good at cricket.
"It's a shame young Toby Roland-Jones...
Theresa May to Naked Mud Wrestle Nicola Sturgeon for the Right to Trigger Brexit
British Prime Minister Theresa May is to mud wrestle naked with Scottish nationalist leader Nicola Sturgeon for the right to trigger article 50 to take the...
Rochdale shock at non-inclusion of ancient sport of darts in Olympics
There has been a furious reaction today at the exclusion of the ancient sport of "arrows" in the Rio Olympics today. The worshipful brethren...
It’s impossible to sandpaper a netball, concede Australians
Long standing dominance of sport by Australia and New Zealand ended by incredible English performance
Some say Australian carpentry skill brings them closer to Christ....
FIFA poppy row escalates
British football fans have been advised that if they object to FIFA's stance on its national teams wearing poppies on armistice day, then they...
‘I moved for new challenges’ says footballer now on three quarters of a million...
Brazilian bladder-hoofer Naymar Davis Junior today explained his reasons for his £200 million move from Europe's most technically skilled, most competitive national football league...
Shock News: Tyson Fury Tests Positive For Horlicks
The Rochdale Herald can exclusively reveal Tyson Fury was declared medically unfit to fight because he tested positive for Horlicks.
The IBF have banned Horlicks, a...
