Trott and Kenny in controversial Team GB breeding program

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Great British track cycling heroes Laura Trott and Jason Kenny, who between them own ten Olympic Gold medals, are to take part in the...
Arsene Wenger

Wenger at wits end as he cannot figure out how to get sack from...

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Arsene Wenger was left frustrated after the end of a tumultuous week which saw Arsenal lose twice against Manchester city and rounded off by...

ISIS applies for FIFA membership

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The murderous psychopathic caliphate known as ISIS has applied to join the world football governing body, FIFA.  In a surprise move, they hope to be...
Police Car

Police called after black man beats the snot out of white guy live on...

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Police were called to an address in Las Vegas earlier this morning after reports of a white man beaten senseless in an organised fight....

Token female cycling club member thrilled to have been described as attractive

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A magazine feature by Cycling Weekly on the Hinckley Cycle Racing Club from Leicestershire was lambasted today after going to print with the caption...

Scottish football team celebrates getting through to the last 16

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The Scottish football team is celebrating getting through to the last sixteen; of a golf tournament. Speaking from the Roving Sands Golf Course in Marbella,...
Pole Vaulter

Mexican pole vaulter gold medal prospect training at the Trump Wall

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Mexico - The Mexican Olympic Games committee have revealed that their biggest prospect of a gold medal in two years time at the 2020...
Andy Murray

Andy Murray’s Mum still won’t let him quit tennis club

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The Rochdale Herald has discovered that Andy Murray's Mum still won't let him quit tennis club. "She promised me that if I won Wimbledon I...
Cricket

Man with double-barrelled surname good at cricket.

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MCC members expressed their delight yesterday that at long last someone with a proper surname was good at cricket. "It's a shame young Toby Roland-Jones...

Fury as EU force England Cricket Team to wear pink caps

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Fury has erupted in the cricketing World as power mad Eurocrats have forced England cricketers into wearing EU coloured pink caps. The Euro-wankers, already quaking...

Eric Bristow MBE says beaten women aren’t ‘proper men’

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The pie faced gravy rhyming bastard, who obtained Royal recognition for being good at throwing things made the comment after a series of ill...
Darts

Rochdale shock at non-inclusion of ancient sport of darts in Olympics

There has been a furious reaction today at the exclusion of the ancient sport of "arrows" in the Rio Olympics today. The worshipful brethren...

Team GB to announce Stable Door Shutting as new olympic sport

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Team GB are set to announce that "Stable Door Shutting" will become an Olympic sport, The Rochdale Herald has learned. Following the UK government's announcement...

Raheem Sterling to start giving guided tours of his tattoo’s

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England footballer, Raheem Sterling has said he's going to start offering tours of his tattoos. Sterling made the announcement when he met members of...

Froom wins fourth Tour de Rochdale

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Albert Froom was declared the winner of the Brown Vest yesterday after winning his fourth Tour De Rochdale. The famous bicycle race starts at The...
Trump furious to learn Farage isn't 'King of England'

Trump Demands IOC Accept Extreme Vetting Into Next Olympics

Merkin-topped braggart and presidential candidate Donald Trump is demanding that extreme vetting become an accepted Olympic sport. Although media have interpreted his remarks on extreme...

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