Britain begins cheap cocaine and animal abuse phase of lockdown easing
The Government has announced that horse racing can begin again from today.
A spokesman said, "From today people will be able to gather in groups...
Vatican declares official miracle after England win on penalties
The Vatican has tonight declared an official miracle following England's penalty shootout victory over some goat farmers from Colombia. The victory is the first...
ISIS applies for FIFA membership
The murderous psychopathic caliphate known as ISIS has applied to join the world football governing body, FIFA.
In a surprise move, they hope to be...
East London Charity Shops on standby to get loads of West Ham training kit...
East London charity shops are preparing for a bumper delivery of training kit and promotional items after West Ham appointed David Moyes to their...
Euro TV Satellite expected to fall on Rochdale: “Nothing to fear” say boffins
28.2E Astra2/Eurobird1 may not mean anything to most people, but it is very much in the minds of worried Rochdale residents who have recently...
Moaning Mourinho In Lip Wobble Outburst
The future of games at Old Trafford are in doubt after Manchester United Manager Jose Mourinho demanded the removal of peas from referee's whistles...
International Olympics Comittee ‘really surprised’ by Russian doping
More than 1000 Russian athletes have been implicated as drug cheats by a report today. The Rochdale Herald asks "Only 1000. Really?"
At least 30...
‘My dour Scots personality is actually a total fanny magnet’ claims Andy Murray
Racquetball superstar Andy Murray today spoke of how his charisma-free personality brings all the girls to his yard.
Murray, whose public speaking manner is so...
Team GB get the Trotts
Charlotte Dujardin became the second woman to win three Olympic gold medals today when she came first in the "Horse Dancing" contest this afternoon....
Nuttall to captain UK Olympic waterboarding team
UKIP party leader, former archbishop of Canterbury, Duke of Edinburgh in Waiting and Huddersfield Town striker, Paul Nuttall has been named as...
FIFA poppy row escalates
British football fans have been advised that if they object to FIFA's stance on its national teams wearing poppies on armistice day, then they...
The Beckhams ditch L.A for glorious Rochdale
Today the Herald can exclusively reveal the jaw dropping news that the world's biggest star, glamour model, fashion icon, tireless charity worker and one...
BT and Sky TV will not allow Nuclear Winter Premiership break
Sky TV and BT TV have both announced that the current Premier League TV rights deal precludes top-tier football a break in the event...
Football team goes one point ahead in Premiership.
Fans of popular football team Chelsea Albion were agog with joy today when the team went one point ahead of arch rivals Liverpool Wanderers...
Theresa May to Naked Mud Wrestle Nicola Sturgeon for the Right to Trigger Brexit
British Prime Minister Theresa May is to mud wrestle naked with Scottish nationalist leader Nicola Sturgeon for the right to trigger article 50 to take the...
Sports Scientists baffled as two guys faster than world’s fastest man
On Saturday, the world’s favourite sprinter, Usain Bolt ran his last 100m race of his career at the London Stadium.
The 30 year old...

















































