Actual grown up man wins race around France on child’s toy
An actual grown up man has won a really long race around France on a children's toy.
The Team Sky rider from Cardiff, Geraint Thomas,...
Trump challenges Nancy Pelosi to MMA fight
In perhaps his most bizarre tweet ever Donald Trump has challenged Nancy Pelosi to a fight in the "Pentagon".
On the eve of his expected...
Vatican declares official miracle after England win on penalties
The Vatican has tonight declared an official miracle following England's penalty shootout victory over some goat farmers from Colombia. The victory is the first...
Scottish football team celebrates getting through to the last 16
The Scottish football team is celebrating getting through to the last sixteen; of a golf tournament.
Speaking from the Roving Sands Golf Course in Marbella,...
Brain dead lunkhead defeats violent wanker in front of large crowd of idiots
Nearly eight brain cells were killed in a mass brawl following the Ultimate Fight Club bout between Conman McGregor and Khabab Gnawmigonadov in Las...
Spurs reassure loyal fans with plan to be shit again by the weekend
Tottenham Hotspur, commonly referred to simply as Tottenham, Spurs, or a word that you really can’t use in an article these days for fear...
Britain begins cheap cocaine and animal abuse phase of lockdown easing
The Government has announced that horse racing can begin again from today.
A spokesman said, "From today people will be able to gather in groups...
Angels Pulverise Shrimpers… Again!
Rochdale beat Southend United at football yesterday. The game was played over 90 minutes with a break in the middle.
Rochdale managed to kick the...
Trump Demands IOC Accept Extreme Vetting Into Next Olympics
Merkin-topped braggart and presidential candidate Donald Trump is demanding that extreme vetting become an accepted Olympic sport.
Although media have interpreted his remarks on extreme...
House of Commons to close for week to hold UK Cat Herding Championships
Following months of political turmoil in the UK and the shining example of incompetence that is the brexit negotiations, the political landscape is now...
Real children take it like a man says Eric Bristow
Overweight, heavy drinking child rape apologist and national embarrassment Eric Bristow has responded to the horrific revelations that young children have been sodomised by a football coach by implying that real children should take it like a man.
Theresa May pledges to not remain silent on pee in swimming pools
Prime Minister Theresa May has pledged to not remain silent on the growing problem of pee in swimming pools highlighted in a shock report...
Lukaku leaves second best club in Liverpool for second best club in Manchester
Lukaku is thought to be worth approximately 50m but has signed for United with an additional premium unofficially known as the 'United surcharge'.
Lukaku's...
Dirty Politics
Britain's next Prime Minister is guaranteed to be female but what most people don't know yet is that only one of the contenders will...
Huddersfield Town sign Paul Nuttall for a record fee
The journeyman striker was signed for an undisclosed amount, although it is "considerably more" than the previous record fee of forty Rothmans and a...
Token female cycling club member thrilled to have been described as attractive
A magazine feature by Cycling Weekly on the Hinckley Cycle Racing Club from Leicestershire was lambasted today after going to print with the caption...
