Love Island Special – John Terry sacks Agent after he asked to join “that...
John Terry, the legendary back door man and occasional footballer, has sacked his Agent after finding himself trapped in a 1 year contract at...
Football team goes one point ahead in Premiership.
Fans of popular football team Chelsea Albion were agog with joy today when the team went one point ahead of arch rivals Liverpool Wanderers...
Real children take it like a man says Eric Bristow
Overweight, heavy drinking child rape apologist and national embarrassment Eric Bristow has responded to the horrific revelations that young children have been sodomised by a football coach by implying that real children should take it like a man.
Scottish football team celebrates getting through to the last 16
The Scottish football team is celebrating getting through to the last sixteen; of a golf tournament.
Speaking from the Roving Sands Golf Course in Marbella,...
Man who provided bags of piss for top cyclists nominated for sports personality of...
Top cycling teams have been paying tribute to the man who provides fresh urine to high profile Tour de France riders for drugs tests.
Chopper...
Football players saving us all by not taking a pay cut
The Professional Footballers Association have warned that a 30% cut in their members' wages would damage the NHS as it would reduce the amount...
Does my bum look big on top of this broken ambulance?
Several women have taken to the top of ambulances in their latest quest for reassurance about their weight
Becky Donaldson, 23, is fairly confident she...
International Olympics Comittee ‘really surprised’ by Russian doping
More than 1000 Russian athletes have been implicated as drug cheats by a report today. The Rochdale Herald asks "Only 1000. Really?"
At least 30...
‘So what?’ ask arseholes in response to significant event
Football fans across the UK went out of their way this week to prove that their point-missing dim-wittedness was ‘by far the greatest stupidity...
Daily Mail editor on suicide watch as rumours of Mo Farah knighthood circulate
There are genuine fears for the editor of The Daily Mail after a Somali born Muslim Immigrant ran to a double double victory at...
Queen gives blessing for Meghan to marry Prince Harry
The Queen has signalled her approval for Meghan Markle to marry Prince Harry Kane.
Despite her recent wedding to that "Bastard" (sic) ginger grandson of...
Horses! Football! And that’s all we have time for!
And they’re off
It’s Ascot in the lead, neck and neck with Sunny Weather, but coming up on the outside it’s Posh Girls Who Look...
UKIP contains more pricks than Eric Bristow’s dartboard
The political establishment was rocked today when new research conclusively proved that the United Kingdom Independence Party (UKIP) contains more pricks than world famous darts...
Newcastle United fans looking forward to renewed access to match pies and beer
The Toon Army are rejoicing following the news that Sports Direct Entrepreneur Sweat Shop owner, Mike Ashley, is to sell the Magpies.
Realising that he...
British public excited by boxing match between two men they wouldn’t want to move...
British boxing fans spent much of the night anticipating and then watching a bout between black fighter Deontay Wilder and half-Irish gypsy Tyson Fury.
Fight...
Urinating Salford goalie earns whole side a place in England’s World Cup squad
Almost the entire Salford lineup have been selected as part of England’s squad for next year’s World Cup, it has emerged. All the English...
