Scottish football team celebrates getting through to the last 16
The Scottish football team is celebrating getting through to the last sixteen; of a golf tournament.
Speaking from the Roving Sands Golf Course in Marbella,...
Canoeist wins Olympic Gold for canoeing
A canoeist fulfilled a lifetime's ambition last night after winning Olympic Gold for Britain in Rio.
The Rochdale Herald would like to congratulate the canoeist...
Vegan runs Great South Run without telling anybody he’s a vegan
A vegan has reportedly completed the Great South Run today without feeling the need to tell everyone.
Big penis denies any link to Romelu Lukaku
A big penis has spoken out today to deny any attachment to Manchester United striker Romelu Lukaku.
Speaking to reporters outside his home address, the...
Tom Daley admits pissing in pool
Great British diving legend Tom Daley, who recently claimed Bronze in the synchronized diving with his partner (Dan something or other), has sensationally confessed...
Supermarkets completely free of dickheads right now, for some reason
Supermarkets across the country are reportedly completely dickhead free for the first time since 1990 according to sources.
The complete absence of knuckle dragging fuckwits...
Thousands dead in Daily Mail Olympics tragedy
Thousands of Daily Mail readers are dead today after their heads exploded whilst reading the rag's coverage of the Olympics.
Mild confusion over the juxtaposition...
Transfer News: Surprise deal Rochdale – Man Utd
Transfer News: In a shock late move, minnows Rochdale have thrashed out a deal with giants Manchester United.
As this weekend brought an end to...
FA launch tactical nuclear strike at semi-final of Women’s Euro 2017
The Football Association has long been implacably opposed to the rise of the women’s game. When it first got popular, the FA acted swiftly...
Wales Seeks Independence as Gareth Bale Doubles Welsh GDP
Carwyn Jones has changed his mind on Welsh Independence after Gareth Bale’s new contract doubled the GDP of Wales.
Study finds Manchester United fans have smallest penises
A new survey of football fans has discovered that Manchester United fans have significantly smaller penises than men who follow other teams.
"It's not just...
British man understands American football
A man from Newquay in Cornwall has revealed that he actually understands American football.
With the BBC proclaiming that the Monday after the Hyperbole, or...
Sports Scientists baffled as two guys faster than world’s fastest man
On Saturday, the world’s favourite sprinter, Usain Bolt ran his last 100m race of his career at the London Stadium.
The 30 year old...
Man with double-barrelled surname good at cricket.
MCC members expressed their delight yesterday that at long last someone with a proper surname was good at cricket.
"It's a shame young Toby Roland-Jones...
John Terry leaves Villa to spend more time with Wayne Bridge’s family
John Terry has announced he's leaving Aston Villa today. Terry said he was leaving so that he could spend more time with Wayne Bridge's...
Lib Dems thrilled at prospect of fielding a football team again
Tim Farron says he's over the moon at being able to field a full football team of MP's. Mr Farron told the Herald.
"This is great....
