Brownlee Brothers win World Three Legged Race Championship
British superstars Jonny and Alister Brownlee were today crowned world 3 legged triathlon race champions in a nail biting finish in Mexico.
Although crossing the...
Diver and Synchronised Partner win Olympic Gold
In a bizarre twist that no one seems to understand, two unknown divers who were neither Tom Daley nor his synchronised diving partner have...
Spanish bullfighters win inaugural Animal Cruelty World Cup
Spain’s bullfighters have won the inaugural Animal Cruelty World Cup in Brazil, narrowly beating the foxhunters of England in the final.
The competition, in...
ISIS applies for FIFA membership
The murderous psychopathic caliphate known as ISIS has applied to join the world football governing body, FIFA.
In a surprise move, they hope to be...
Wayne Rooney moves from second best team in Manchester to second best team in...
Thatched-roofed footballer Wayne Rooney was yesterday given away by the second best team in Manchester to the second best team in Liverpool.
He moves...
‘My dour Scots personality is actually a total fanny magnet’ claims Andy Murray
Racquetball superstar Andy Murray today spoke of how his charisma-free personality brings all the girls to his yard.
Murray, whose public speaking manner is so...
Daily Mail editor on suicide watch as rumours of Mo Farah knighthood circulate
There are genuine fears for the editor of The Daily Mail after a Somali born Muslim Immigrant ran to a double double victory at...
Rochdale shock at non-inclusion of ancient sport of darts in Olympics
There has been a furious reaction today at the exclusion of the ancient sport of "arrows" in the Rio Olympics today. The worshipful brethren...
British man understands American football
A man from Newquay in Cornwall has revealed that he actually understands American football.
With the BBC proclaiming that the Monday after the Hyperbole, or...
Rochdale AFC Announce Stadium Expansion
Rochdale's Spotland stadium is set to unveil a new corporate section "with a difference" above the Willbutts Lane stand, in honour of world famous...
Sturgeon Calls for Scots Independence to save British Lions Tour
Nicola Sturgeon has called for IndyRef2 to be brought forward to save the British Lions Tour to New Zealand.
Speaking in the aftermath of Scotland's...
Moron says something moronic
A moron has uttered a statement that is totally devoid of intelligence, it has emerged.
The exact words used in this situation concerned a...
Mixed feelings for Tommy Robinson supporters as bloke called Ali puts England into semi...
Ruddy faced racists up and down the country are said to have mixed feelings about England getting through to the World Cup Semi Finals...
England football team looking forward to appearing in final of Celebrity Masterchef
The English football team have confirmed that they're really looking forward to appearing on Celebrity Masterchef next week.
Gareth Southgate said, "Our preparations are going...
Bernie’s Brave Brazillian Blag Backfires
Bernie Ecclestone's brave gamble with Brazilian kidnappers backfired spectacularly last night when his Mother-in-Law was released fit and well from her 9 day captivity.
Formula...
Police called after black man beats the snot out of white guy live on...
Police were called to an address in Las Vegas earlier this morning after reports of a white man beaten senseless in an organised fight....
