Trump accused of damaging reputation of fat, racist golfers everywhere
Donald Trump has been asked to give up golf as he is tarnishing its reputation and attracting the wrong type of people into the...
England team reveal plan to completely disappoint everyone is going smoothly
Gareth Southgate has revealed that his plan to completely disappoint loads of English people is going exactly according to plan.
At a press conference Southgate...
Nuttall to captain UK Olympic waterboarding team
UKIP party leader, former archbishop of Canterbury, Duke of Edinburgh in Waiting and Huddersfield Town striker, Paul Nuttall has been named as...
Study finds Manchester United fans have smallest penises
A new survey of football fans has discovered that Manchester United fans have significantly smaller penises than men who follow other teams.
"It's not just...
Significantly lower brain function can lead to heading footballs, scientists reveal
Scientists have revealed that significantly lower brain function can lead to being a footballer.
Researchers said they had identified "significantly lower levels of brain function"...
Rochdale footballer in record 198p transfer
Rochdale football star, Wayne "Chopper" Gascoigne has been transferred to Accrington Stanley for a record 198p (€1.77) and a box of steak and onion...
Urinating Salford goalie earns whole side a place in England’s World Cup squad
Almost the entire Salford lineup have been selected as part of England’s squad for next year’s World Cup, it has emerged. All the English...
Rochdale shock at non-inclusion of ancient sport of darts in Olympics
There has been a furious reaction today at the exclusion of the ancient sport of "arrows" in the Rio Olympics today. The worshipful brethren...
Mexican pole vaulter gold medal prospect training at the Trump Wall
Mexico - The Mexican Olympic Games committee have revealed that their biggest prospect of a gold medal in two years time at the 2020...
FA enquiries into unusual betting
The Football Association today launched an inquiry into what it described as 'very bizarre' wagers placed with bookies regarding recent matches.
The FA spokesman, Brian...
Horses! Football! And that’s all we have time for!
And they’re off
It’s Ascot in the lead, neck and neck with Sunny Weather, but coming up on the outside it’s Posh Girls Who Look...
UKIP contains more pricks than Eric Bristow’s dartboard
The political establishment was rocked today when new research conclusively proved that the United Kingdom Independence Party (UKIP) contains more pricks than world famous darts...
Britain’s first Dog Fighting arena to get go ahead in Rochdale
The often misunderstood sport of dog fighting will soon move from the underground scene to a purpose-built two-hundred seat arena in Rochdale. With a...
Team GB to announce Stable Door Shutting as new olympic sport
Team GB are set to announce that "Stable Door Shutting" will become an Olympic sport, The Rochdale Herald has learned.
Following the UK government's announcement...
Team GB get the Trotts
Charlotte Dujardin became the second woman to win three Olympic gold medals today when she came first in the "Horse Dancing" contest this afternoon....
Venus Williams says most recent car insurance quote inspired her Wimbledon run
Venus Williams has revealed that she was inspired to her Wimbledon final appearance by her most recent car insurance quote.
Speaking after finishing runner up,...




















































