New dementia awareness campaign just GB cycling doctor trying to remember what drugs he’s...
Using drugs that are not banned but enhance performance is definitely not cheating." That's what head of British cycling Zammo Maguire says today.
McGuire was...
Rooney: taking are cuntry bak
As the second half of the Manchester derby got underway, reports were coming in that Wayne Rooney had joined Britain First.
During the halftime team...
Jose mourinho assures Spain ‘money was just resting in my account’
Jose Mourinho has sought to reassure the Spanish tax office that the £3m he is alleged to owe them in unpaid taxes has in...
Brazilian kidnappers fail to understand British man’s relationship with mother-in-law
Bernie Ecclestone is said to have received the news of his mother-in-law's kidnap with mixed emotions this morning
In an exclusive interview with the Rochdale...
Britain buoyed by approval of Autumn Olympics
There were wild scenes of celebration from keen athletics fans up and down the UK this morning, as the head of the Seasonal Olympics...
World in shock after professional boxer wins boxing match against amateur boxer
The sporting world is in disarray this morning after an unbeaten professional boxer won a boxing match against a bloke who hadn't had a...
Donald Trump congratulates Rochdale AFC on winning Superbowl
POTATUS, Donald Trump telephoned and congratulated Rochdale AFC on winning the Superbowl on Sunday night. Much to the surprise of club officials.
A club spokesman...
Sports Personality of the Year changed to ‘Sportsperson’ After Trade Descriptions Probe
The BBC has announced that their annual jockfest 'Sports Personality of the Year' is to be renamed 'Sportsperson of the Year' following an investigation...
‘So what?’ ask arseholes in response to significant event
Football fans across the UK went out of their way this week to prove that their point-missing dim-wittedness was ‘by far the greatest stupidity...
Urinating Salford goalie earns whole side a place in England’s World Cup squad
Almost the entire Salford lineup have been selected as part of England’s squad for next year’s World Cup, it has emerged. All the English...
Muslims Infiltrate Ranks of Top British Sports Teams
Statisticians today pointed to a 25% increase in Muslims appearing among the top four run scorers in the England cricket team.
"It appears the sneaky...
World in shock as man with history of taking steroids runs faster than bloke...
The World is in shock today after a bloke who has a well documented history of taking performance enhancing drugs ran a bit faster than a bloke who doesn't.
John Terry leaves Villa to spend more time with Wayne Bridge’s family
John Terry has announced he's leaving Aston Villa today. Terry said he was leaving so that he could spend more time with Wayne Bridge's...
Study finds Manchester United fans have smallest penises
A new survey of football fans has discovered that Manchester United fans have significantly smaller penises than men who follow other teams.
"It's not just...
Cricketers injured as dyslexic Anarchists riot at T20
Two Yorkshire cricketers and a number of spectators were injured last night as nearly 200 dyslexic anarchists rioted at the T20.
Similar riots took place...
Huddersfield Town veterans prepared for step up in pace
Senior members of the Huddersfield Town squad today confirmed that they have no concerns about promotion.
“I took some advice about staying fit for...
