Diver and Synchronised Partner win Olympic Gold

In a bizarre twist that no one seems to understand, two unknown divers who were neither Tom Daley nor his synchronised diving partner have...
Christiano Ronaldo

Ronaldo vows to work the full six weeks to pay £13 million tax bill

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Many of us were shocked when top footballer, Cristiano Ronaldo was embroiled in tax evasion, especially to such a degree. The highly-regarded player, often hailed...

Raheem Sterling to start giving guided tours of his tattoo’s

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England footballer, Raheem Sterling has said he's going to start offering tours of his tattoos. Sterling made the announcement when he met members of...
Wayne Rooney

Rooney Returns to Everton because ‘I missed my Nan’

6
Overweight, red faced, former England captain Wayne Rooney is to leave Manchester United to return to his first club Everton as part of a...
Horse Racing

Horses! Football! And that’s all we have time for!

1
And they’re off It’s Ascot in the lead, neck and neck with Sunny Weather, but coming up on the outside it’s Posh Girls Who Look...

Shock News: Tyson Fury Tests Positive For Horlicks

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The Rochdale Herald can exclusively reveal Tyson Fury was declared medically unfit to fight because he tested positive for Horlicks. The IBF have banned Horlicks, a...
Peeing Cyclist

Man who provided bags of piss for top cyclists nominated for sports personality of...

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Top cycling teams have been paying tribute to the man who provides fresh urine to high profile Tour de France riders for drugs tests. Chopper...

New EU rules send shock waves through the terraces

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New EU rules are set to send shock waves through the football terraces of the UK. According to sources close to the FA, the...

Fury as EU force England Cricket Team to wear pink caps

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Fury has erupted in the cricketing World as power mad Eurocrats have forced England cricketers into wearing EU coloured pink caps. The Euro-wankers, already quaking...
Referee

‘So what?’ ask arseholes in response to significant event

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Football fans across the UK went out of their way this week to prove that their point-missing dim-wittedness was ‘by far the greatest stupidity...

Transfer News: Surprise deal Rochdale – Man Utd

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Transfer News: In a shock late move, minnows Rochdale have thrashed out a deal with giants Manchester United. As this weekend brought an end to...

‘My dour Scots personality is actually a total fanny magnet’ claims Andy Murray

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Racquetball superstar Andy Murray today spoke of how his charisma-free personality brings all the girls to his yard. Murray, whose public speaking manner is so...
Boxer hitting punchbag

Paul Nuttall – Why I Won’t Talk About Fight Club

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Paul Nuttall O.B.E is reluctant to talk about Fight Club, the global phenomenon he founded in 1996. “Chuck and me, we don't talk about it." He...

Stormzy shuts up agent after transfer confusion

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Following the glaring error made by Irish newspaper, The Herald (no relation) where a picture of the grime MC was used instead of Romelu...

Real children take it like a man says Eric Bristow

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Overweight, heavy drinking child rape apologist and national embarrassment Eric Bristow has responded to the horrific revelations that young children have been sodomised by a football coach by implying that real children should take it like a man.

Team GB get the Trotts

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Charlotte Dujardin became the second woman to win three Olympic gold medals today when she came first in the "Horse Dancing" contest this afternoon....

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