Froom wins fourth Tour de Rochdale

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Albert Froom was declared the winner of the Brown Vest yesterday after winning his fourth Tour De Rochdale. The famous bicycle race starts at The...

Britain buoyed by approval of Autumn Olympics

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There were wild scenes of celebration from keen athletics fans up and down the UK this morning, as the head of the Seasonal Olympics...

Euro 2020 tournament to be played on XBox, UEFA confirms

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The European Football Championship 2020 is to be played on XBox, UEFA has told The Rochdale Herald. In the wake of the Coronavirus pandemic, European...

Trump challenges Nancy Pelosi to MMA fight

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In perhaps his most bizarre tweet ever Donald Trump has challenged Nancy Pelosi to a fight in the "Pentagon". On the eve of his expected...
Trump Golf Twitter

Trump accused of damaging reputation of fat, racist golfers everywhere

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Donald Trump has been asked to give up golf as he is tarnishing its reputation and attracting the wrong type of people into the...

Poppies outraged at being hijacked by intolerable, out of touch band of Nationalists.

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The prima-donna XI, also known as the England National football team, have confirmed that they will take to the pitch against Germany this Friday,...

Sturgeon Calls for Scots Independence to save British Lions Tour

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Nicola Sturgeon has called for IndyRef2 to be brought forward to save the British Lions Tour to New Zealand. Speaking in the aftermath of Scotland's...

World in shock after professional boxer wins boxing match against amateur boxer

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The sporting world is in disarray this morning after an unbeaten professional boxer won a boxing match against a bloke who hadn't had a...

Balding just 2 Gold medals away from on air orgasm

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BBC sports anchor and part time Eddie Izzard lookalike Claire Balding is quite literally on the edge of making TV history by being the...

Team GB get the Trotts

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Charlotte Dujardin became the second woman to win three Olympic gold medals today when she came first in the "Horse Dancing" contest this afternoon....

Mighty England’s thrilling World Cup opener – Yeah right!

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England's opening match of the World Cup campaign was as dull as ditchwater proving that the news of Joe Hart's transfer from Man City...

Huddersfield Town veterans prepared for step up in pace

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Senior members of the Huddersfield Town squad today confirmed that they have no concerns about promotion. “I took some advice about staying fit for...
Wayne Rooney

Wayne Rooney retires from International Football to spend more time with other people’s grandmas

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Wayne Rooney has announced that he intends to spend more time with other peoples grandmothers after retiring from international football. Rooney explained, "I've been all...

ISIS applies for FIFA membership

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The murderous psychopathic caliphate known as ISIS has applied to join the world football governing body, FIFA.  In a surprise move, they hope to be...
Goalkeeper

Urinating Salford goalie earns whole side a place in England’s World Cup squad

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Almost the entire Salford lineup have been selected as part of England’s squad for next year’s World Cup, it has emerged. All the English...

Norway’s female football team found in cocaine-fuelled strip club romp

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Just hours after the Norwegian football association ruled that female footballer's pay must be brought in line with that of the men's, the entire...

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