A football riot at a Belgian football match between Anderlecht and Club Brugge demonstrates the hunger for British exports according to Liam Fox.

In a statement Fox said, “So many people want to do our country down. The violence on Saturday night shows that the EU values the contributions UK culture has made to Europe. At one point I saw a French speaking Belgian being savagely beaten by his Flemish countrymen. Not only is Europe open to UK violence, but it has an appetite for sectarianism as well.”

It’s alleged that Fox is considering expanding the idea by getting football casuals to set up franchises in Europe. So far Millwall supporters and the Capital City Service group have signed up to set up franchises.

The statement came a few days after the newly minted, British Board of Trade set up a Greggs in Charles de Gaul airport. The move was applauded by Brexiteers as an example of Britain parking tanks on the lawn.

Commenting on the move a French official said, “We’ve been told that the opening of Greggs is a statement of intent. It is very confusing for us though. The only parallels between Greggs an tanks seems to be the size of the customers who frequent Greggs.”

Airports in major transport hubs within Europe have been identified as ideal places for potential British exports to be showcased. It’s alleged that Cash Converters have been in contact with Madrid’s Barabas airport about setting up a branch. Next week will also see several derelict shops in German airports being taken over by fixed odds gambling arcades.

Besides goods, Liam Fox has also identified service exports as a potentially lucrative source of income. One of these services is to franchise out Britain’s morbidly obese to teach EU citizens how to get the most out of mobility scooter offers. This service has the potential to bring in millions of pounds of income into the country.

E-cloud have denied they have been contacted by Mr Fox with an eye to taking over Luxembourg.

Fact checked by Snopes; Plagiarised by Andrew Neil; Nancy Sinatra's favourite Rochdale satirist; sued by Chris Froome and winner of the 1922 Nobel Prize for Chemistry.* *Not all of these necessarily true.