Rochdale beat Southend United at football yesterday. The game was played over 90 minutes with a break in the middle.

Rochdale managed to kick the ball into the net thing 3 times while Southend didn’t manage it once.

There were 10 outfield players on each team and 1 player who wore a different colour who looked after the net, one can only assume so it didn’t get pinched.

The chap in the black uniform with whistle ran quite a lot and blew his whistle several times to indicate various things.

This game confirms categorically that Rochdale are far superior to Southend; we already knew The Rochdale Herald is better than Southend News Network, now we’ve beaten them at soccerball too.

What a wonderful time to be alive.

Dermot writes all of his articles in mixed media (mostly crayons and drool) he finds this style most fits his journalistic style, these are then sent to a room with 100 monkeys at typewriters, eventually something is published.