Rochdale beat Southend United at football yesterday. The game was played over 90 minutes with a break in the middle.

Rochdale managed to kick the ball into the net thing 3 times while Southend didn’t manage it once.

There were 10 outfield players on each team and 1 player who wore a different colour who looked after the net, one can only assume so it didn’t get pinched.

The chap in the black uniform with whistle ran quite a lot and blew his whistle several times to indicate various things.

This game confirms categorically that Rochdale are far superior to Southend; we already knew The Rochdale Herald is better than Southend News Network, now we’ve beaten them at soccerball too.

What a wonderful time to be alive.

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Dermot writes all of his articles in mixed media (mostly crayons and drool) he finds this style most fits his journalistic style, these are then sent to a room with 100 monkeys at typewriters, eventually something is published.