Ruddy faced racists up and down the country are said to have mixed feelings about England getting through to the World Cup Semi Finals for the first time in 28 years after a bloke called Ali scored the decisive second goal.

“Obviously we want to free Tommy Robinson, we had a demonstration arranged and everything but we did have to cancel it because we wanted to get pissed and watch the football.”

“Tommy would know what to think,” A florid cheeked dickhead told The Rochdale Herald from a trashed beer garden in Milton Keynes.

“It was confusing enough when that black bloke put that beautiful corner into the box for that white bloke to score the first goal.”

‘Coming over here, taking our corners. Admittedly really well, but that’s not the point. It’ll all be different after Brexit.”

“At least he’s got a bit of an English sounding name I suppose. But the second goal was scored by a bloke with a name that’s definitely a bit foreign.”

“Don’t get me wrong, I still did the patriotic thing and went and smashed up our local Ikea with the rest of the patriots to celebrate, bloody Swedes coming over here with their reasonably priced yet stylish flat pack furniture and accessories.”

“It’ll all be different after Brexit.”

Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.