Ian Duncan-Smith, MP for Chingford and Minister of Nothing-in-Particular, was speaking on Radio 5 when he admitted there were problems involved with the government’s handling of the Coronavirus pandemic that will require the help of experts.
When asked if these were the same people as the ‘Get Brexit Done’ campaign has referred to variously as ‘unpatriotic Judases’, ‘treacherous doom mongers’ and ‘pathetic pedlars of Project Fear’, Mr Smith admitted there may be some overlap.
“Obviously when we said ‘get over it, you lost’ we meant ‘for fuck’s sake get us out of this calamity’.
“Likewise ‘suck it up buttercup’ should have been conveyed as ‘please help us!'” whined the Minister for Slime.
Mr Dunking-Smurf’s comments indicate that the reviled intellectual elite and expert international trade consultants, not to mention the bloodsucking NHS, are among those whose expertise is now required to ensure the global pandemic doesn’t become the mother of all clusterfucks.
Meanwhile the realisation that the handling of this crisis being in the complete control of a phalanx of “misfits and weirdos” is starting to dawn on the public.
Man-in-the-street John Hommedanslerue told The Rochdale Herald “Actually, truth be told, I’m getting a bit sick of being sick of experts.’