Jeremy Corbyn gleefully whistled whilst spreading marmalade across his toast this morning, as a result of Monarch airline going bust, according to his neighbour.

Burt Monroe, long time neighbour of the staunch republican and PM hopeful, said to the Rochdale Herald.

“I was in my garden picking up the dog’s mess, when I heard Jeremy whistling ‘God save the Queen’, not the anthem mind you, but the Sex Pistols version. I looked over and could see him doing a sort of bouncy jig while spreading marmalade over his toast; it’s good marmalade mind you as well, he made it from the oranges on his allotment and gives us a jar each Easter.”

After discussing the finer points of marmalade and other preserves the Labour Party leader gifts seasonally, Mr Monroe went on to tell us of the following conversation between himself and Mr Corbyn.

“When Jeremy came out into the garden to throw the crusts out for the birds, I asked him what had made him so happy. He shot me a great big smile and said ‘I just caught the tail end of the radio report saying The Monarch has collapsed’.”

It appears that Mr Corbyn had mistaken the news of the United Kingdom’s fifth biggest charter and scheduled airline Monarch, with Queen Elizabeth. Monarch airlines ceased to trade as of Monday the second of October due to financial difficulties.

After being corrected by Mr Monroe, who explained that he saw on television that it was not The Monarch but Monarch Airlines that had collapsed, the smile dropped from Corbyn’s face and the Labour leader stormed back inside.

Mr Monroe continued to tell us about Mr Corbyn’s mood

“Oh the bearded tit wasn’t happy at all… I mean the bird on the fence waiting for the crusts; it was told to ‘bugger off’ as Jeremy lobbed the last of his toast into the bin and stormed back into his house.”

“He must have been furious over the mix up; on the way in he punched the last flower on his prize Clematis clean off!”

19th century vegetable highwayman/ satirist. Likes: the sound of a solitary house fly loitering hectically around his ear and the feeling of a warm toilet seat. Favourite topic: writing about political intrigue involving biscuits.