Migration

Overmortgaged Soft Southern Twats to buy entire North of England during next house price...

15
Public officials in the North of England are conducting secret emergency planning meetings in preparation for one of the largest migrations of people in...

SHOCK as imaginary money not worth the paper it isn’t written on

0
Completely imaginary money continues to give investors an interesting ride after its value of approximately whatever we pretend it is fell by a third.
Ryanair

Jeremy Corbyn says Labour will Nationalise RyanAir

18
Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn has layed out plans to take RyanAir into public ownership alongside the railways and the Royal Mail in a radical...
Bank of England

Bank of England RAISES interest rate from naff all to fuck all

0
For the second time in more than a decade the Bank of England has taken the decision raise interest rates. The official bank rate has...

Mystery void inside Great Pyramid contains plans for ancient financial scheme that’s a total...

0
Archaeologists announced yesterday the discovery of a mysterious void inside the Great Pyramid of Giza and that initial exploration revealed what appear to be...
Theresa May

Strong economy responsible for Sun coming up and tides says Theresa May

0
All things bright and beautiful are thanks to a strong economy, says Theresa May. When asked why flowers are so lovely, she said this was...

Pound Pinches Parisian Patterning – Press and Paparazzi Perplexed

0
Scandal hits the UK economy once again as the new £1 coin (GBP) is accused of fashion plagiarism by the Continental Euro (EUR). Speaking via Text...

New Canesten ad campaign to be fronted by The Flaming Lips

0
The Rochdale Herald can exclusively reveal that the makers of Canesten feminine products, have allegedly announced in a top secret press release that their...
Millionaire

Tax efficient billionaires back plans to close tax loopholes for window washers and cleaners

4
The Taylor Review into modern working practices this week revealed an alarming tax loophole that is robbing the honest British taxpayer of billions in...

Nurses offered choice between 10% bonus or chance to kick Jeremy Hunt in the...

0
Three cheers to our beloved leader Mrs May for a delightful dilemma this Christmas. We here at The Rochdale Herald recognise we are often so...

Rochdale man swaps first-born child for pint in London pub

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It has been revealed that a Rochdale man was forced to exchange his first-born child for a pint during a recent visit to London....

Corbyn delighted to hear of Monarch’s collapse

9
Jeremy Corbyn gleefully whistled whilst spreading marmalade across his toast this morning, as a result of Monarch airline going bust, according to his neighbour. Burt...

You can’t trust a man with a beard says Daily Express

0
Corbyn is clearly trying to turn Britain into Soviet Russia, insinuate the media today after a leaked list of ideas described as a manifesto. “Sounds...

Notional round token to be replaced by notional hexagonal token

5
The Rochdale Herald would like to remind readers that as of next week the shiny gold circles they exchange for goods and services will...

ISAs claim responsibility for tax avoidance

0
ISAs have today claimed responsibility for millions of pounds of lost UK tax revenue A Scottish widow looks moodily into the camera like she wants...
Mark Carney

Something that hasn’t happened might or might not make something bad happen, clarifies Bank...

0
Something that might or might not happen could or could not send the pound plunging or not plunging and trigger, or maybe even not...

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