Army called in to Burnley find ‘riot’ just sale at Farmfoods
The British Army was deployed in Burnley town centre earlier today to quell civil unrest apparently taking place in the city's popular shopping district.
Army...
Strong economy responsible for Sun coming up and tides says Theresa May
All things bright and beautiful are thanks to a strong economy, says Theresa May.
When asked why flowers are so lovely, she said this was...
Mystery void inside Great Pyramid contains plans for ancient financial scheme that’s a total...
Archaeologists announced yesterday the discovery of a mysterious void inside the Great Pyramid of Giza and that initial exploration revealed what appear to be...
Remain scaremongering smells likes truthmongering admits Mark Carney following sniff test
Mark Carney, Governor of the Bank of England, the place where they invent money, has admitted that remain campaigners accused of scaremongering may actually...
Overmortgaged Soft Southern Twats to buy entire North of England during next house price...
Public officials in the North of England are conducting secret emergency planning meetings in preparation for one of the largest migrations of people in...
LABOUR TAX BOMBSHELL TAX TAX BOMBSHELL TAX LABOUR TAX TAX BOMB TAX!!!!!
The entire media demanded that Labour provide a triplicated cost analysis today after it was announced that Jeremy Corbyn might be planning to put...
New Canesten ad campaign to be fronted by The Flaming Lips
The Rochdale Herald can exclusively reveal that the makers of Canesten feminine products, have allegedly announced in a top secret press release that their...
Tiny Tim declared fit to work by ATOS
Dickensian child, "Tiny" Tim Cratchitt has been declared fit to work by ATOS this week despite being both famously crippled and fictional.
His father, Robert...
Government launch ‘Kids for Britain’ scheme to encourage teenage pregnancy to replace migrant workers...
The Home Office is to launch an eye popping new initiative designed to compensate for the expected loss of Eastern European field workers as...
Free market capitalism works says financial wizard pouring billions of public money into free...
A party of financial wizards who can't agree which wizard should be head wizard has given a talk today on how free market capitalism...
Pound Pinches Parisian Patterning – Press and Paparazzi Perplexed
Scandal hits the UK economy once again as the new £1 coin (GBP) is accused of fashion plagiarism by the Continental Euro (EUR).
Speaking via Text...
Jeremy Corbyn says Labour will Nationalise RyanAir
Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn has layed out plans to take RyanAir into public ownership alongside the railways and the Royal Mail in a radical...
Government insists food banks rebrand as Universal Credit Bistros
Today, at a press conference in the champagne bar of the Astor club in Pall Mall, David Gauke, the work and pensions secretary no...
Shameless firefighters put the squeeze on hard working public officials
Firefighters were forced into a defensive position today after important and hardworking public officials started to show the strain of the remorseless pressure from...
UK’s employers terrified workers will stop working through their lunch hour if houses become...
Concerns have been expressed today by the United Kingdom’s biggest employers that a house price crash will lead to a deepening of the productivity...
Nurses offered choice between 10% bonus or chance to kick Jeremy Hunt in the...
Three cheers to our beloved leader Mrs May for a delightful dilemma this Christmas.
We here at The Rochdale Herald recognise we are often so...
