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James Bickerton

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Puppy Christmas

John Lewis Christmas advert shows puppy being fed into blender

Retailer John Lewis has released its Christmas advert for 2017 which shows a cute puppy being fed into an industrial strength blender.The eagerly anticipated...
Sturgeon

‘It’s the Welsh we hate not the English’ claims SNP

The Scottish National Party has released an official statement denying that their desire for Scottish independence is motivated by a historic mistrust of the...

David Cameron admits he’s actually a working-class Liverpudlian

Former Prime Minister David Cameron has admitted that, contrary to popular conception, he’s actually a working-class Liverpudlian.Cameron made the shock admission during an...
Putin Trump

Trump and Putin plan the partition of Poland

It’s been revealed that American President Donald Trump and Russian President Vladamir Putin have agreed to partition Poland between their two countries.Both leaders...

Putin starts worrying that he might be a dick

Russian President Vladimir Putin has reportedly started worrying that he might actually be a bit of a dick.Sources close to Putin have revealed that...

Helen Mirren to impersonate the Queen during Trump state visit

The Rochdale Herald understands that award winning actress Helen Mirren will impersonate the Queen should President Trump’s proposed state visit to the UK go...

Pressure grows for superhero movie with strong male lead

Following the box office success of ‘Wonder Woman’ pressure is growing for a Hollywood studio to finally make a superhero movie with a strong...

Spanish bullfighters win inaugural Animal Cruelty World Cup

Spain’s bullfighters have won the inaugural Animal Cruelty World Cup in Brazil, narrowly beating the foxhunters of England in the final.The competition, in...

Women remain underrepresented amongst Taliban leadership

It has been revealed that women remain underrepresented amongst the leadership of the Afghan terrorist group the Taliban.An internal review carried out by...
Corgi

Queen deciding which Corgi to shoot first if Corbyn becomes Prime Minister

Buckingham Palace sources have reported that the Queen is currently trying to decide which of her Corgis to shoot first should Jeremy Corbyn be...

Boris Johnson shocked to discover British Empire no longer contains Canada

Foreign Office officials have confirmed that Boris Johnson has finally accepted that the British Empire no longer contains Canada, more than a year after...

Boris Johnson shocked to discover British Empire no longer exists

Foreign Office officials have confirmed that Boris Johnson has finally accepted that the British Empire no longer exists, more than a year after he...

Lib Dems form armed wing in desperate bid to remain relevant

The Liberal Democrats have announced the creation of an ‘armed wing’ in what commentators are interpreting as a last ditch attempt to have some...

Trump threatens military action against ‘rocket man’

President Trump used his recent address to the UN Security Council to threaten ‘rocket man’ Sir Elton John, who he accuses of attempting to...

‘If it wasn’t for your size I’d eat you’ cat admits to owner

An honest cat has admitted to its owner that the only reason it hasn’t eaten her is down to her relative size.The cat explained...

Buzzfeed pulls ‘Which terrorist group are you?’ quiz after complaints

Entertainment website Buzzfeed has withdrawn its ‘Which terrorist group are you?’ quiz following user complaints. The website removed the quiz on Tuesday afternoon, and...

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