Former Prime Minister David Cameron has admitted that, contrary to popular conception, he’s actually a working-class Liverpudlian.
Cameron made the shock admission during an exclusive interview with respected conservative political magazine ‘Football and girls with big tits’. He told the magazine that he had actually grown up in a ‘rundown council house’ in the Walton area of Liverpool, close to Liverpool FC’s Anfield Stadium, whilst his father was a docker who had suffered from ‘frequent periods of unemployment’ during David’s early life.
Cameron explained that his tough upbringing gave him the ‘grit and determination to make a successful Prime Minister’ and that he’d learned how important respect is from ‘confrontations with local street gangs’. He added that by his mid-teens he was a ‘respected member of the local community’ though some locals did resent his constant efforts to resolve disputes by ‘calling referendums’.
The former Prime Minister admitted that he might have given the impression that he was from a richer background and apologised for any confusion this may have caused. He explained that it started with a small lie about his father’s occupation to help him get a job, but then spiralled out of control, with claims he’d been to Eton and a member of the famous Bullingdon Club, until he didn’t know how to stop.
Cameron finished the interview by saying he was relieved that he could now reveal the true Dave before joining the queue at a nearby chippy.
“Do you want mushy peas and scraps with that love?”
