Mark Carney

Something that hasn’t happened might or might not make something bad happen, clarifies Bank...

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Something that might or might not happen could or could not send the pound plunging or not plunging and trigger, or maybe even not...
Girls Don't Like Boys

Institute for Fiscal Studies claims girls don’t like boys, girls like cars and money

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Economists at The Institute for Fiscal Studies sensationally claimed yesterday that girls don't like boys but they do like cars and money. The report said...

UK’s employers terrified workers will stop working through their lunch hour if houses become...

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Concerns have been expressed today by the United Kingdom’s biggest employers that a house price crash will lead to a deepening of the productivity...

Corbyn delighted to hear of Monarch’s collapse

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Jeremy Corbyn gleefully whistled whilst spreading marmalade across his toast this morning, as a result of Monarch airline going bust, according to his neighbour. Burt...

Army called in to Burnley find ‘riot’ just sale at Farmfoods

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The British Army was deployed in Burnley town centre earlier today to quell civil unrest apparently taking place in the city's popular shopping district. Army...

Notional round token to be replaced by notional hexagonal token

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The Rochdale Herald would like to remind readers that as of next week the shiny gold circles they exchange for goods and services will...

Austerity was just for giggles Government confirms

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The Conservative government has confirmed today that austerity is over and it was just for giggles anyway. The end to penny pinching has absolutely nothing...

Nurses offered choice between 10% bonus or chance to kick Jeremy Hunt in the...

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Three cheers to our beloved leader Mrs May for a delightful dilemma this Christmas. We here at The Rochdale Herald recognise we are often so...
Pregnancy

Government launch ‘Kids for Britain’ scheme to encourage teenage pregnancy to replace migrant workers...

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The Home Office is to launch an eye popping new initiative designed to compensate for the expected loss of Eastern European field workers as...

Pound Pinches Parisian Patterning – Press and Paparazzi Perplexed

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Scandal hits the UK economy once again as the new £1 coin (GBP) is accused of fashion plagiarism by the Continental Euro (EUR). Speaking via Text...

If the dead weren’t so unproductive the economy would be booming, says Phillip Hammond

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Chancellor Phillip Hammond has blamed sluggish economic growth figures on the dead. "Our research over the last two quarters has proved conclusively that the dead...

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