Strong economy responsible for Sun coming up and tides says Theresa May
All things bright and beautiful are thanks to a strong economy, says Theresa May.
When asked why flowers are so lovely, she said this was...
Rochdale man swaps first-born child for pint in London pub
It has been revealed that a Rochdale man was forced to exchange his first-born child for a pint during a recent visit to London....
Overmortgaged Soft Southern Twats to buy entire North of England during next house price...
Public officials in the North of England are conducting secret emergency planning meetings in preparation for one of the largest migrations of people in...
If the dead weren’t so unproductive the economy would be booming, says Phillip Hammond
Chancellor Phillip Hammond has blamed sluggish economic growth figures on the dead.
"Our research over the last two quarters has proved conclusively that the dead...
Corbyn delighted to hear of Monarch’s collapse
Jeremy Corbyn gleefully whistled whilst spreading marmalade across his toast this morning, as a result of Monarch airline going bust, according to his neighbour.
Burt...
The Man Who Broke The Bank Of England Backs Corbyn
George Soros, the Hungarian-American Billionaire who famously broke the Bank of England on Black Wednesday in 1992, is said to be close to throwing...
ISAs claim responsibility for tax avoidance
ISAs have today claimed responsibility for millions of pounds of lost UK tax revenue
A Scottish widow looks moodily into the camera like she wants...
Bank of England RAISES interest rate from naff all to fuck all
For the second time in more than a decade the Bank of England has taken the decision raise interest rates.
The official bank rate has...
Shameless firefighters put the squeeze on hard working public officials
Firefighters were forced into a defensive position today after important and hardworking public officials started to show the strain of the remorseless pressure from...
Buying a house is really stressful first time buyer tells bloke in queue for...
A first time buyer has been explaining how stressful buying a house is to a man he met in a foodbank.
Taylor Twyford-Twist was doing...
Notional round token to be replaced by notional hexagonal token
The Rochdale Herald would like to remind readers that as of next week the shiny gold circles they exchange for goods and services will...
