Corbyn delighted to hear of Monarch’s collapse

9
Jeremy Corbyn gleefully whistled whilst spreading marmalade across his toast this morning, as a result of Monarch airline going bust, according to his neighbour. Burt...
Migration

Overmortgaged Soft Southern Twats to buy entire North of England during next house price...

15
Public officials in the North of England are conducting secret emergency planning meetings in preparation for one of the largest migrations of people in...

Average household savings wiped out by demonetisation of old pound coins under sofa cushions

0
The Office for National Savings released alarming figures this morning suggesting that average household savings in the United Kingdom had been all but wiped...

Government insists food banks rebrand as Universal Credit Bistros

0
Today, at a press conference in the champagne bar of the Astor club in Pall Mall, David Gauke, the work and pensions secretary no...

You can’t trust a man with a beard says Daily Express

0
Corbyn is clearly trying to turn Britain into Soviet Russia, insinuate the media today after a leaked list of ideas described as a manifesto. “Sounds...

Pound Pinches Parisian Patterning – Press and Paparazzi Perplexed

0
Scandal hits the UK economy once again as the new £1 coin (GBP) is accused of fashion plagiarism by the Continental Euro (EUR). Speaking via Text...

SHOCK as imaginary money not worth the paper it isn’t written on

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Completely imaginary money continues to give investors an interesting ride after its value of approximately whatever we pretend it is fell by a third.

Austerity was just for giggles Government confirms

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The Conservative government has confirmed today that austerity is over and it was just for giggles anyway. The end to penny pinching has absolutely nothing...
Fireman

Shameless firefighters put the squeeze on hard working public officials

3
Firefighters were forced into a defensive position today after important and hardworking public officials started to show the strain of the remorseless pressure from...

Fears for Rochdale black pudding supply as Bury announces plans to exit Lancashire free...

0
Rochdale residents with a taste for black pudding were left fearing for the future as Bury announced plans to leave the Lancashire Economic Community....
Girls Don't Like Boys

Institute for Fiscal Studies claims girls don’t like boys, girls like cars and money

11
Economists at The Institute for Fiscal Studies sensationally claimed yesterday that girls don't like boys but they do like cars and money. The report said...

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