Average household savings wiped out by demonetisation of old pound coins under sofa cushions
The Office for National Savings released alarming figures this morning suggesting that average household savings in the United Kingdom had been all but wiped...
Shameless firefighters put the squeeze on hard working public officials
Firefighters were forced into a defensive position today after important and hardworking public officials started to show the strain of the remorseless pressure from...
Strong economy responsible for Sun coming up and tides says Theresa May
All things bright and beautiful are thanks to a strong economy, says Theresa May.
When asked why flowers are so lovely, she said this was...
Free market capitalism works says financial wizard pouring billions of public money into free...
A party of financial wizards who can't agree which wizard should be head wizard has given a talk today on how free market capitalism...
Legalising cannabis will raise around £1Bn in Doritos sales
A leading think tank of financial experts claim that the legalisation of Cannabis for recreational use in the UK could generate an estimated £1Bn...
Remain scaremongering smells likes truthmongering admits Mark Carney following sniff test
Mark Carney, Governor of the Bank of England, the place where they invent money, has admitted that remain campaigners accused of scaremongering may actually...
Tiny Tim declared fit to work by ATOS
Dickensian child, "Tiny" Tim Cratchitt has been declared fit to work by ATOS this week despite being both famously crippled and fictional.
His father, Robert...
Mystery void inside Great Pyramid contains plans for ancient financial scheme that’s a total...
Archaeologists announced yesterday the discovery of a mysterious void inside the Great Pyramid of Giza and that initial exploration revealed what appear to be...
Rochdale man swaps first-born child for pint in London pub
It has been revealed that a Rochdale man was forced to exchange his first-born child for a pint during a recent visit to London....
Austerity was just for giggles Government confirms
The Conservative government has confirmed today that austerity is over and it was just for giggles anyway.
The end to penny pinching has absolutely nothing...
Notional round token to be replaced by notional hexagonal token
The Rochdale Herald would like to remind readers that as of next week the shiny gold circles they exchange for goods and services will...











































