Army called in to Burnley find ‘riot’ just sale at Farmfoods
The British Army was deployed in Burnley town centre earlier today to quell civil unrest apparently taking place in the city's popular shopping district.
Army...
Bank of England RAISES interest rate from naff all to fuck all
For the second time in more than a decade the Bank of England has taken the decision raise interest rates.
The official bank rate has...
ISAs claim responsibility for tax avoidance
ISAs have today claimed responsibility for millions of pounds of lost UK tax revenue
A Scottish widow looks moodily into the camera like she wants...
Legalising cannabis will raise around £1Bn in Doritos sales
A leading think tank of financial experts claim that the legalisation of Cannabis for recreational use in the UK could generate an estimated £1Bn...
Shameless firefighters put the squeeze on hard working public officials
Firefighters were forced into a defensive position today after important and hardworking public officials started to show the strain of the remorseless pressure from...
You can’t trust a man with a beard says Daily Express
Corbyn is clearly trying to turn Britain into Soviet Russia, insinuate the media today after a leaked list of ideas described as a manifesto.
“Sounds...
Notional round token to be replaced by notional hexagonal token
The Rochdale Herald would like to remind readers that as of next week the shiny gold circles they exchange for goods and services will...
Free market capitalism works says financial wizard pouring billions of public money into free...
A party of financial wizards who can't agree which wizard should be head wizard has given a talk today on how free market capitalism...
Remain scaremongering smells likes truthmongering admits Mark Carney following sniff test
Mark Carney, Governor of the Bank of England, the place where they invent money, has admitted that remain campaigners accused of scaremongering may actually...
Mystery void inside Great Pyramid contains plans for ancient financial scheme that’s a total...
Archaeologists announced yesterday the discovery of a mysterious void inside the Great Pyramid of Giza and that initial exploration revealed what appear to be...
Nurses offered choice between 10% bonus or chance to kick Jeremy Hunt in the...
Three cheers to our beloved leader Mrs May for a delightful dilemma this Christmas.
We here at The Rochdale Herald recognise we are often so...














































