New Canesten ad campaign to be fronted by The Flaming Lips

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The Rochdale Herald can exclusively reveal that the makers of Canesten feminine products, have allegedly announced in a top secret press release that their...

Austerity was just for giggles Government confirms

1
The Conservative government has confirmed today that austerity is over and it was just for giggles anyway. The end to penny pinching has absolutely nothing...
Fireman

Shameless firefighters put the squeeze on hard working public officials

3
Firefighters were forced into a defensive position today after important and hardworking public officials started to show the strain of the remorseless pressure from...

Rochdale man swaps first-born child for pint in London pub

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It has been revealed that a Rochdale man was forced to exchange his first-born child for a pint during a recent visit to London....
Pregnancy

Government launch ‘Kids for Britain’ scheme to encourage teenage pregnancy to replace migrant workers...

24
The Home Office is to launch an eye popping new initiative designed to compensate for the expected loss of Eastern European field workers as...
Girls Don't Like Boys

Institute for Fiscal Studies claims girls don’t like boys, girls like cars and money

11
Economists at The Institute for Fiscal Studies sensationally claimed yesterday that girls don't like boys but they do like cars and money. The report said...

Pound Pinches Parisian Patterning – Press and Paparazzi Perplexed

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Scandal hits the UK economy once again as the new £1 coin (GBP) is accused of fashion plagiarism by the Continental Euro (EUR). Speaking via Text...

Tiny Tim declared fit to work by ATOS

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Dickensian child, "Tiny" Tim Cratchitt has been declared fit to work by ATOS this week despite being both famously crippled and fictional. His father, Robert...

SHOCK as imaginary money not worth the paper it isn’t written on

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Completely imaginary money continues to give investors an interesting ride after its value of approximately whatever we pretend it is fell by a third.

ISAs claim responsibility for tax avoidance

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ISAs have today claimed responsibility for millions of pounds of lost UK tax revenue A Scottish widow looks moodily into the camera like she wants...
Man counting money

The Man Who Broke The Bank Of England Backs Corbyn

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George Soros, the Hungarian-American Billionaire who famously broke the Bank of England on Black Wednesday in 1992, is said to be close to throwing...

LABOUR TAX BOMBSHELL TAX TAX BOMBSHELL TAX LABOUR TAX TAX BOMB TAX!!!!!

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The entire media demanded that Labour provide a triplicated cost analysis today after it was announced that Jeremy Corbyn might be planning to put...
Bank of England

Bank of England RAISES interest rate from naff all to fuck all

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For the second time in more than a decade the Bank of England has taken the decision raise interest rates. The official bank rate has...
Millionaire

Tax efficient billionaires back plans to close tax loopholes for window washers and cleaners

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The Taylor Review into modern working practices this week revealed an alarming tax loophole that is robbing the honest British taxpayer of billions in...
Theresa May

Strong economy responsible for Sun coming up and tides says Theresa May

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All things bright and beautiful are thanks to a strong economy, says Theresa May. When asked why flowers are so lovely, she said this was...
Mark Carney

Something that hasn’t happened might or might not make something bad happen, clarifies Bank...

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Something that might or might not happen could or could not send the pound plunging or not plunging and trigger, or maybe even not...

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