Lifestyle

Donald Trump is to collaborate with daughter Ivanka to produce a new range of perfumes. The first daughter said "This new range reflects the important things in my father's life and reflect his...

A local cat, Elvis Snoogums, has spoken of his excitement as Christmas gets ever closer. Speaking exclusively to the Rochdale Herald Elvis told us, "Soon my yooman will be putting up the big green plaything...

Heavy drinking from breakfast till unconsciousness has won the top spot in a national survey to discover what makes Christmas so special for the British public. Narrowly beating 'Two days off work' and 'Getting an...

A new advert for Gillette razors has been lauded by Piers Morgan as, "way better than all that social justice bollocks". Piers and many other single men with little else to do than call people...

Rochdale man Stan Still is just a short step away from buying skinny red jeans according to his girlfriend. Alga Rithem, Stan's partner for the last 25 tears, told us, "I don't know where this...

A group of scientists have today confirmed what we have all long believed, that autocorrect was inverted by a cult. Professor Gerald Wiley spoke to the Rochdale Herald about the results. "The number of epic fools...

Grammar police call for tougher sentences Campaigners are calling for grammar errors to be punished with tougher sentences - especially for repeat offenders. "There is to much grammar errors at the moment," said a...

Reports are emerging that a man in Rochdale has put his bins out. Stephen Dickinson of Fazzakerley Drive has put his green bin out on the kerb early to maximize social distancing. "It was the highlight...

A disgraced Northerner has been barred from ever returning to the South, after he humiliated his sister at a bourgeoisie Cheese & Wine evening by bringing Kraft Slices as his artisanal choice. Northerner Gerry Ramsbuttocks...

A Rochdale man has told us how he has revised plans to do dry January and will now be doing reduced drinking January instead. Bill Board spent New Years Eve loudly telling friends and family...

Shaving that's a little too aggressive, or done with dull blades, can produce irritants which can form a rash right round your Parliament area.    "What it is right, is I'm one of those Gillette...

Local businessmen had their collective cocks in a hoop at the news that an Artisan Market is to be launched in Rochdale. "Following Brexit all my existing artisans will have to return to Polatia and...

Pubs that describe themselves as family friendly say they intend to ban single men from their premises at weekends. Parent Cindy "Everyone's a pedo" Maguire said, "Last week we went to the pub with the...

A man from Rochdale has bought his nephew the gift of music for Christmas. Stan Still told us, "I've played in bands since I was 12 and think it's a great idea for kids to...

There was good news for caffeine drinkers, addicts & nervous twitchers throughout the multiverse today, as stunning new research sensationally revealed that coffee holds the key to everlasting life. The benefits of coffee have long...