Lifestyle

Rochdale man Stan Still is just a short step away from buying skinny red jeans according to his girlfriend. Alga Rithem, Stan's partner for the last 25 tears, told us, "I don't know where this...

International razor brand Gillette has admitted that after years of investment, their product is not suitable for the delicate skin of the modern day manchild Despite introducing blade, after blade, after blade, the company has...

A disgraced Northerner has been barred from ever returning to the South, after he humiliated his sister at a bourgeoisie Cheese & Wine evening by bringing Kraft Slices as his artisanal choice. Northerner Gerry Ramsbuttocks...

Unbelievably, a Rochdale man has found the iron and ironing-board and pressed his Friday night drinking shirt, unaided. Last Friday, Alan Bloke (37) was due to meet his mates for a session when he...

There was good news for caffeine drinkers, addicts & nervous twitchers throughout the multiverse today, as stunning new research sensationally revealed that coffee holds the key to everlasting life. The benefits of coffee have long...

A new advert for Gillette razors has been lauded by Piers Morgan as, "way better than all that social justice bollocks". Piers and many other single men with little else to do than call people...

Henry Charles Chomlomoly has been telling us how he's lost both his arms whilst out sledging. Harry told us, "Cripes, got up this morning and it was a white out so the kids wanted to...

A Rochdale man has died after being placed near a group of Gym buddies at a Christmas party. Horace Cope was rushed to hospital after a chance meeting with Jim Nasium, a noted Vegan nutritionist...

A group of scientists have today confirmed what we have all long believed, that autocorrect was inverted by a cult. Professor Gerald Wiley spoke to the Rochdale Herald about the results. "The number of epic fools...

A Rochdale man has told us how he has revised plans to do dry January and will now be doing reduced drinking January instead. Bill Board spent New Years Eve loudly telling friends and family...

A man from Rochdale has bought his nephew the gift of music for Christmas. Stan Still told us, "I've played in bands since I was 12 and think it's a great idea for kids to...

Donald Trump is to collaborate with daughter Ivanka to produce a new range of perfumes. The first daughter said "This new range reflects the important things in my father's life and reflect his...

One dickhead has been telling the Herald about how he has found a way to shave 30 seconds off the time it takes him to drive home. Brainless moron Ted Skeat said, "I first realised...

A Rochdale man who has had enough of your shit with your 'Ocsober'; 'Mowvember' and 'Veganuary' has decided to punch you all in the face during April. "It's probably the most therapeutic thing possible."...

Johnny and Mary (not real names) are just your average suburban dwelling couple who work hard on the weekdays and like to relax in front of the telly watching a nice film. Sounds all...

Grammar police call for tougher sentences Campaigners are calling for grammar errors to be punished with tougher sentences - especially for repeat offenders. "There is to much grammar errors at the moment," said a...