Some like it…NOT! Monroe fan’s £8k new look more like man’s best friend than...

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French waiter Cyril Roux is a HUGE Marilyn Monroe fan. 'I guess you could say I'm addicted to injections,' mumbles Cyril Roux, a 32-year-old waiter...

Herald life hacks: Get rich quick with… an inheritance

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Experts say this is the best way to get ahead in life It's January, which means you likely have nothing but mince pie dust in...

Vegans to save UK billion man hours in tedious conversations by wearing hats saying...

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There is widespread jubilation amongst business leaders around the UK after bold plans to save a billion working man hours a week have been announced by the Institute of Vegans.

Men applaud new Gillette advert that features man carving his initials into girlfriends face...

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A new advert for Gillette razors has been lauded by Piers Morgan as, "way better than all that social justice bollocks". Piers and many other...
Smartphone

I’m definitely not addicted to my smartphone, says person reading this on her smartphone

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A Rochdale woman has told her friends that she's definitely not addicted to her smartphone, whilst reading a news story about people being addicted...

Just 126 sleeps until Xmas, says cat

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A local cat, Elvis Snoogums, has spoken of his excitement as Christmas gets ever closer. Speaking exclusively to the Rochdale Herald Elvis told us, "Soon...

Getting drunk and falling over is the real meaning of Christmas, says everyone

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Heavy drinking from breakfast till unconsciousness has won the top spot in a national survey to discover what makes Christmas so special for the...

Blitz spirit will see us through says man panic buying sanitary towels and Quinoa

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The UK's Health Secretary, Matt Hancock, has likened the nation's handling of the Coronavirus pandemic to the "Blitz spirit" which saw plucky Brits through...
Indian Family

Asian family enjoying post night out curry accused of ‘Cultural Appropriation’

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A British-Asian family came under intense fire today, after being accused of extreme 'cultural appropriation' from White groups, for enjoying a post pub curry...

Scientists confirm autocorrect was inverted by a cult

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A group of scientists have today confirmed what we have all long believed, that autocorrect was inverted by a cult. Professor Gerald Wiley spoke to...
British Homeopath

Herald lifestyle guides – How to be a New Hippy

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Want to be a 21st century Hippie or is it Hippy? Do you remember the days when everything was far out, and the man was...

“Family friendly” pubs to ban single men at weekends

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Pubs that describe themselves as family friendly say they intend to ban single men from their premises at weekends. Parent Cindy "Everyone's a pedo" Maguire...
Angry man, steam coming from ears

Man bored of virtue-signalling monthly initiatives launches ‘Punch In The Facepril’

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A Rochdale man who has had enough of your shit with your 'Ocsober'; 'Mowvember' and 'Veganuary' has decided to punch you all in the...
Police

Grammar police call for tougher sentences

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Grammar police call for tougher sentences Campaigners are calling for grammar errors to be punished with tougher sentences - especially for repeat offenders. "There...

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