‘Research confirms Coffee holds key to immortality’

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There was good news for caffeine drinkers, addicts & nervous twitchers throughout the multiverse today, as stunning new research sensationally revealed that coffee holds...

Man puts bins out

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Reports are emerging that a man in Rochdale has put his bins out. Stephen Dickinson of Fazzakerley Drive has put his green bin out on...

Some like it…NOT! Monroe fan’s £8k new look more like man’s best friend than...

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French waiter Cyril Roux is a HUGE Marilyn Monroe fan. 'I guess you could say I'm addicted to injections,' mumbles Cyril Roux, a 32-year-old waiter...

Wankers now the majority of the public, scientists conclude.

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A newly published report shows that 55% of the British public are tossers. Professor Onan Offtherist from the Rochdale Institute of Masturbatory Studies told us...

Gillette admit razors not suitable for sensitive skin

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International razor brand Gillette has admitted that after years of investment, their product is not suitable for the delicate skin of the modern day...

Herald life hacks: Get rich quick with… an inheritance

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Experts say this is the best way to get ahead in life It's January, which means you likely have nothing but mince pie dust in...

Liberal man escapes Wetherspoons seconds before Brexit seems appealing.

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A liberal man has spoken today of his horror at being seconds away from becoming a Brexiteer. Near-victim Webastian Sliesel told our reporter Sebastian Wiesel...
British Homeopath

Herald lifestyle guides – How to be a New Hippy

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Want to be a 21st century Hippie or is it Hippy? Do you remember the days when everything was far out, and the man was...

Trump to produce new range of fragrances

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Donald Trump is to collaborate with daughter Ivanka to produce a new range of perfumes. The first daughter said "This new range reflects...

Scientists confirm autocorrect was inverted by a cult

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A group of scientists have today confirmed what we have all long believed, that autocorrect was inverted by a cult. Professor Gerald Wiley spoke to...

What to do when your dog dies in your hot car

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Summer is here and forecasters are predicting a heatwave in the coming weeks. With temperatures expected to hit 30oC the country will be awash...

Man considering buying his wife lingerie for Christmas almost certainly shouldn’t.

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Research has found that the average bloke considering buying his wife lingerie this Christmas should probably not. "For a start, most blokes buy scarlet nylon...

Nothing says f*** you to a neighbour like a Leilandii hedge

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Scientists at Rochdale College have discovered that nothing gets the message that you hate them across to your neighbour's more than a Leilandii hedge. Dr...

Rochdale Herald guide to the top ten books to read before you die

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At the Rochdale Herald it's all about mindfulness and self improvement in January. In that spirit, we take a look at 10 books you should...

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