Johnny and Mary (not real names) are just your average suburban dwelling couple who work hard on the weekdays and like to relax in front of the telly watching a nice film.
Sounds all nice and cosy?
Like fuck it is!
Mary spoke to The Rochdale Herald in an exclusive interview blowing the lid off the misconception of a lazy evening in watching films on Netflix.
“It’s a load of bollocks! It never happens. We just flick and flick and fucking flick!
“My other half sits there grunting, ‘yea, maybe, nah, I dunno, think we already saw that one.'”
This phenomenon is not uncommon and has become a major sticking point in many marriages.
A spokeswoman for ‘Stay Together or Else’ marriage guidance support group said, “Outbreaks of what we refer to as the ‘Netflix flickers’ phenomenon are on the rise. Couples need to cop themselves on, unsubscribe Netflix and go for a walk instead.”
Indeed the Oxford Dictionary has included, ‘Netflix Flickers’ into their latest edition of slang words. Johnny says the evenings vanish.
“One minute your sitting on the sofa with the remote flicking through the films on Netflix” he told us, “the next thing it’s 1am and you’ve finally decided on a film. By then you’re pissed from drinking 3 bottles wine and eating a handful of popcorn.”
“I just fuck off to bed!” Says Mary, “Only to repeat the pattern all over again Saturday night.”
“Netflix and chill my arse” she said. “Im moving on to Pornhub.”