In the wake of the latest mass shooting in a bar in Ohio that has claimed the lives of at least 9 people The White House has released a statement saying it’s “too soon since the last mass shooting and not long enough before the next one to discuss gun control.”

“It would be disrespectful to the memory of the people who were killed this morning, and the ones who are going to be killed this afternoon to politicize a tragedy such as this.” A White House imbecile told The Rochdale Herald.

“We can’t go around discussing issues such as such who should be allowed to buy deadly weapons when the bodies of today’s victims aren’t even cold and tomorrow’s victims aren’t even dead. Have you no soul?”

“We’re not even sure if this guy is a brown terrorist or a white mentally unstable lone wolf. Nobody should jump to conclusions.”

Trump is expected to send a shipment of respectful “thoughts and prayers” to the victims rather than doing anything as disrespectful as having a conversation about why people pilled off their tits on opiods and ant-depressants should be able to buy a wheelbarrow full of hollow-point bullets and not a Kinder Egg.

“Donald has carefully selected some respectful platitudes for the families of the victims who have been gunned down today. We aren’t sending too many because we’ll probably need some tomorrow and the day after.”

“There’s a time and place for a political debate, but now is the time to unite as a country etc etc etc.”

Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.