An entire elderly skydiving display team has died in a tragic accident in Essex this weekend after replacing their parachutes with an optimistic attitude.
The incident happened during the Festival of Brexit in Clacton-on-Sea on Sunday when 52 elderly Skydivers leapt from a Tiger Moth 20,000 feet above the seafront.
“They quickly got into formation, a massive St George’s Cross, it was quite impressive to see 52 eighty year olds flying in formation. I didn”t know they had still had it in them.” A festival organiser told The Rochdale Herald.
“They had been inspired by Boris Johnson’s speech to replace their parachutes with a plucky and optimistic attitude before they took off. They all seemed really excited about the future.”
“I heard them muttering something about parachutes being health and safety gone mad and how the EU couldn’t make them wear them before they got into the plane.”
A spokesman for the Government told The Rochdale Herald “Obviously these 52 deaths are a tragedy but the important thing is to not let minor things like hitting the beach at 90mph stop you from freeing yourself from the shackles of tyrannical EU health and safety legislation etc etc etc.”