Anne Widdecombe symbolically frees her slave
Following her first speech in the European Parliament, we have avoided the term 'maiden speech' as all her speeches are maiden, Anne Widdecombe has...
Arsehole starts fight and loses, man he started fight with arrested
A dickhead has died in a karmic avalanche after breaking into the home of a 78 year old.
Shop selling stuff people don’t buy goes into administration, again
People in Rochdale have been speaking of the shock at discovering HMV has collapsed again. Many thought it had gone bust years ago.
Stan...
Elmer Fudd resigns as Home Secretary
The Home Secretary Elmer Fudd has resigned, Downing Street has said.
Mr Fudd, was due to make a Commons Statement on Monday about the Windrush...
Conservative Christmas Party cancelled after failing to negotiate piss up deal with brewery
There was despair throughout the Conservative Party today after government officials announced that the annual Christmas do has been cancelled.
The news comes after many...
Bob Marley suspended from Labour Party over claims iron lions are from Zion
Scandal has hit the beleaguered former political party, the Labour Party, this morning after a kangaroo court voted to suspend the dead Rastafarian singer...
Expenses scandal as Jeremy Corbyn claims £30,000 for Hi5 tuition
Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn has been embarrassed again this week, as he miss-judged yet another high five.
Last week the allotment gardening marxist patted fellow MP...
Josef Fritzl gets Knighthood in New Years honours
Austrian incest enthusiast, Josef Fritzl has been awarded a Knighthood in the New Years honours list. The list, released today recognises a range of...
UK disqualified from piss up in a brewery world championship
After the snap, crackle and pop election called by Theresa May has resulted in a hung parliament, it's clear that the repercussions reach further...
Piers Morgan quits Good Morning Britain to reprise Pigeon Lady role in Home Alone...
Piers Morgan has reportedly quit Good Morning Britain this week in order to reprise his award-winning role of Pigeon Lady in the Home Alone...
Home Worker facing HR disciplinary hearing after sexually assaulting himself at work Christmas Party
A home worker from Rochdale is facing a disciplinary hearing today after he allegedly sexually assaulted himself after getting drunk at his office Christmas...
Former military cadet fulfils lifelong ambition to visit Vietnam despite agonisingly debilitating bonespurs
A former military cadet has finally fulfilled his dream to visit Vietnam despite suffering from debilitating bonespurs.
The man, now in his seventies, is said...
Hundreds arrested in dawn raids for not wearing a poppy
More than 300 people have been arrested as part of an operation to prevent people who aren’t wearing a poppy to be seen in public today.
Northern man puts teabag directly in bin without putting it in the sink
In a world first a northern man has put a teabag into the bin without first putting it into the sink for a few...
Lovely Grandma catches racism after wiping bottom on Daily Mail
A lovely old grandma who contracted racism during a trip to Burnley last week is in a "serious condition" after being admitted to an...
Deselecting MPs implicated in electoral fraud before election “Hadn’t occurred to me” claims PM
The Prime Minister claims the possible loss of up to twenty MPs from a working majority of seventeen in the run-up to Brexit is...
