Conservative Christmas Party cancelled after failing to negotiate piss up deal with brewery
There was despair throughout the Conservative Party today after government officials announced that the annual Christmas do has been cancelled.
The news comes after many...
It’s definitely CHRISTMAS – Big Fat Secret Santa buys 13,500 presents worth £97,952
It is definitely Christmas you unbelievably charitable and hilarious lunatics.
You crazy people have now bought £98,000 worth of presents for 13,500 kids and teenagers...
IKEA announce new post Brexit home-ware range
Swedish furniture and home-ware giant IKEA have announced that it plans tolaunch a new range of "post Brexit furniture and home-ware" to suit the...
Emergency services called after Bob Geldof disappears up his own arse
Two fire engines along with police and ambulance crews were called to the centre of Dublin after reports came in that a man had...
Prince Harry arrested in Windsor for aggressive begging to pay for wedding
Windsor-- Following complaints of aggressive begging on the streets of Windsor today Prince Harry was among the vagrants swept up in a Thames Police...
David Davis organises piss up in brewery on wrong day
The Secretary of State for Exiting the European Union reportedly organised a smashing piss up in a brewery to celebrate New Year's Eve on...
It’s the will of the people – Jaguar Land Rover tells redundant employees
Jaguar Land Rover has told employees that by making them redundant they are carrying out the will of the British people.
Employee Bill Board told...
Bob Marley suspended from Labour Party over claims iron lions are from Zion
Scandal has hit the beleaguered former political party, the Labour Party, this morning after a kangaroo court voted to suspend the dead Rastafarian singer...
Absolute arsehole Winnie Mandela dies aged 81
An absolute arsehole has died in South Africa aged 81.
Reader competition, win an exclusive aerial photograph of Gatwick Airport
The Rochdale Herald is offering readers the chance of winning one of 25 high quality aerial photographs of Gatwick Airport.
Gatwick Airport is one of...
Donald Trump autobiography ‘My Struggle’ set for December release
A spokesman for Donald Trump has announced that the eagerly anticipated Trump autobiography is set for release in early December just in time for...
Study finds Manchester United fans have smallest penises
A new survey of football fans has discovered that Manchester United fans have significantly smaller penises than men who follow other teams.
"It's not just...
People who ‘say it like it is’ invariably arseholes groundbreaking research concludes
Researchers at Rochdale Community University have concluded that people who "tell it like it is" are invariably complete arseholes.
"People who 'tell it like it...
Birmingham Airport begins Windows 10 update
Birmingham Airport officials have announced they've accidentally started a Windows 10 update. The update is alleged to have caused the air traffic control centre...
ISIS claim responsibility for self-service checkouts
So called 'Islamic State' have claimed responsibility for supermarket self service checkouts.
A statement released by ISIS said they came up with the idea after...
If I’d wanted to smell of shampoo I wouldn’t have rolled in fox shit...
A Labrador Retriever from Rochdale was feeling aggrieved today after her owner callously pulled rank over her choice of fragrance.
Luna Goodgirl, aged 3, told...
