Assad

Assad regime toppled after receiving strongly worded letter from Jeremy Corbyn

0
Jeremy Corbyn has issued a strongly worded letter to Bashar al-Assad today. It seems it's had some effect as the regime has been toppled. Jamal...

Susan Boyle to sing Dead Kennedys ‘Too Drunk To F*ck’ at Trump Inauguration

8
In a last ditch attempt to find a "celebrity" to perform at Trump's Inauguration Scottish songstress and Britain's Got Talent sensation Susan Boyle (aka...
Wasps

Wasps are little shits, confirm scientists

50
After years of study, it has finally been confirmed by scientists from the Special Training Institute North Grimsby, that wasps serve no useful purpose...

Vatican declares official miracle after England win on penalties

0
The Vatican has tonight declared an official miracle following England's penalty shootout victory over some goat farmers from Colombia. The victory is the first...
Big Ben

Big Ben to be renamed Massive Mohammed from 2018

367
Equality campaigners have welcomed plans to rename Big Ben as part of a project celebrating London's rich cultural heritage. The famous landmark, which is due...
Meghan and Harry

Meghan Markle nominated for Oscar for her portrayal of woman in love with Prince...

0
As the New Year approaches rumours are already circulating about next year's Oscar nominations. An early nomination thrown into the frame is Meghan Markle.  The...

Trading Standards to prosecute Gastro Pub for using plates

34
A new gastro pub, The Pissed Idiot, in Rochdale is under investigation by trading standards after allegedly serving food on actual plates rather than...

Rochdale man jailed for putting milk in tea before taking out teabag

0
A Rochdale man has been jailed for seven years for crimes against tea, it has been reported today. Steve Dickinson, 42 and a bit, was...

Only one more sleep until Dads start Christmas shopping

0
Dads are said to be giddy with excitement at the news that it's only one more sleep until they can start their Christmas shopping. Dads...
Ant and Dec

Ant McPartlin’s forehead to be used as theatre wheelchair ramp as part of community...

0
There was a much needed boost for disabled theatre lovers today, as a West End theatre confirmed they had secured the use of Ant...

Britain First blame Foreigner for it being Cold As Ice

0
We don't care if you've heard this joke before, because for us, it Feels Like The First Time. Dirty White Boy fan club Britain First...

Satire Aid has bought 3,500 presents worth more than £31,000!

0
A quick Satire Aid update for you. The amazing readers of The Rochdale Herald, NewsThump, Tuckered, U Ok Hun and Angry People in Local...
Cyclist

Bloke with shaved legs and huge collection of children’s toys denies mid-life crisis

0
A Bloke with shaved legs and huge collection of children's toys denies mid-life crisis. A forty two year old man from Rochdale who shaves his...

Jeremy Corbyn under investigation after making vicar’s daughter cry during hustings

29
Leftist wheat-eater Jeremy Corbyn came under fire from his own back-benchers today, after being accused of making a girl cry, and not just any...
Lucky Childless Bastards

Lucky childless bastards book affordable holiday

0
A pair of lucky childless bastards have managed to book an off-season five star holiday to an empty resort at a cost of almost...
Hunt Saboteurs

Hunt saboteurs can’t feel pain, government declares

0
The government has voted to reject a bill that recognises that hunt saboteurs are humans who feel pain and emotion. Following an incident over the...

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