Only one more sleep until Dads start Christmas shopping

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Dads are said to be giddy with excitement at the news that it's only one more sleep until they can start their Christmas shopping. Dads...
Newcastle

Met Office alert after sighting of Geordie woman wearing jacket in Newcastle

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The Met Office has issued an almost unprecedented weather warning this evening after it was reported a woman was spotted on a night out in Newcastle city centre wearing a jacket.
Prince Harry begging

Prince Harry arrested in Windsor for aggressive begging to pay for wedding

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Windsor-- Following complaints of aggressive begging on the streets of Windsor today Prince Harry was among the vagrants swept up in a Thames Police...

ISIS claim responsibility for self-service checkouts

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So called 'Islamic State'  have claimed responsibility for supermarket self service checkouts. A statement released by ISIS said they came up with the idea after...
Mariah Carey

Mariah Carey records shock cover of Dead Kennedy’s ‘Nazi Punks Fuck Off’ in support...

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Born again Christian pop singer and self styled "voice of the MTV generation" Mariah Carey, has sent shock waves through tin pan alley with...

Thousands gather in London to watch fireworks through their phones

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Scores of New Year's Eve partygoers descended on London last night to watch the spectacular fireworks display through their smartphones. Over a hundred thousand people...

Thousands gather in North Yorkshire to see world’s first completely empty Biro

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There is more travel misery anticipated for the rest of the week as tens of thousands of people are expected to continue making their...

Trump adds Germany to Travel Ban after hostages taken at Nakatomi Tower

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Donald Trump has added the populations of Germany and Austria to his controversial travel ban after hearing reports that terrorists have taken hostages at the Nakatomi Tower in Los Angeles, again.

Irish Garda stalk Stephen Hawking in Richard Dawkins blasphemy mix up

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After the recent news that Stephen Fry is to be stoned to death by Irish authorities for calling God 'a bit of dick', the Irish...

Scientists admit Rees-Mogg is experiment to create the perfect twat

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There was mild surprise today, as the lid was blown off a secret program revealing that Tory MP Jacob Rees-Mogg was the product of...
Donald Trump

Donald Trump calls for a ban on schools after latest US school shooting

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So-called 'President' and full-time Twitter troll Donald Trump wants a 'total and complete shutdown' of schools in the US after the Florida School shooting earlier...

Daily Mail Readers confused more toddlers haven’t walked alone to UK from Syria

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Daily Mail Readers are confused more toddlers haven't walked the 2,000 miles to Calais from Syria.

Rescue Workers Call Off Search for Theresa May’s Credibility

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Rescue workers hunting through the wreckage of Theresa May's career have called off the search for the remains of her credibility. They made the...

White nationalists boycott Black Friday claiming all Fridays matter

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A number of white nationalist groups have joined together in a boycott against the post-Thanksgiving consumer event known as Black Friday. Black Friday has been...

Rees-Mogg admits he took snuff at Debutante Ball

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Prominent Conservative backbencher, Jacob Rees-Mogg has admitted to partaking in the eighteenth century pastime of inhaling ground tobacco, otherwise known as snuff. The admission came...

Just 126 sleeps until Xmas, says cat

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A local cat, Elvis Snoogums, has spoken of his excitement as Christmas gets ever closer. Speaking exclusively to the Rochdale Herald Elvis told us, "Soon...

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