Rees Mogg

Universal Credit cheaper way to kill the poor than building gas chambers, says Jacob...

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Jacob Rees-Mogg has astounded many people by stating that the Universal Credit fiasco is the cheapest way the Government has come up with to...
Obi Wan Kenobi

Corbyn tells press conference if you strike me down I will become more powerful...

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Following Theresa May's unsurprising announcement of a snap general election, Jeremy Corbyn has made a press statement. Stood in front of a dozen media representatives he said; "We...

Tim Nice But Dim appointed UK Ambassador to the EU

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In a surprise move Theresa May has appointed Tim Nice But Dim UK Amabassador to the EU.
Fidget Spinners

Fidget Spinners useful to distract children from the bleak reality of future under Conservatives

4
The latest craze sweeping the nation and captivating kids of all ages is the fidget spinner. Originally designed to aid development, coordination, dexterity and to...

‘One is married to Philip’ Queen reminds Public who think Trump too racist for...

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Over 1.8 million Britons have signed a petition to deny a State Visit to nylon-haired snake-oil salesman and part-time President, Donald Trump.  The petition insists...
Kitten

Fluffy kitten is a double hard bastard

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An adorably fluffy little kitten from Bury has confirmed he is a double hard bastard who is not to be trifled with. 13 week old...

Kevin the Carrot beheaded by Muslims.

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Popular TV carrot Kevin was among a bag of carrots snatched from the Oldham branch of Aldi by ruthless Muslim gang the 'Iqbal family'. The...
Millionaire

Reader competition, win an exclusive aerial photograph of Gatwick Airport

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The Rochdale Herald is offering readers the chance of winning one of 25 high quality aerial photographs of Gatwick Airport. Gatwick Airport is one of...
Mass Shooting

The NRA are a bunch of fucking arseholes and every single member has the...

356
But ma guns. A survey in 2013 found that the United States had 88.9 firearms for every 100 people. More than Yemen, Mexico, Pakistan and...
Cyclist

Bloke with shaved legs and huge collection of children’s toys denies mid-life crisis

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A Bloke with shaved legs and huge collection of children's toys denies mid-life crisis. A forty two year old man from Rochdale who shaves his...
Burnley

Burnley announces plans to be available in colour by 2022

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Burnley Council has announced plans for town to be available in colour from 2022. Just the Town Centre will be effected initially. The announcement...
Ann Widdecombe

Anne Widdecombe symbolically frees her slave

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Following her first speech in the European Parliament, we have avoided the term 'maiden speech' as all her speeches are maiden, Anne Widdecombe has...
Passports

Now that passports are blue again I might get one, says 50 year old...

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A fifty year old racist fuckwit has told The Rochdale Herald that he is over the moon that passports are now going to be...
Drinking Wine

Not drinking alcohol only makes life feel a lot longer, confirm experts

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Not drinking will make your life feel a lot longer, according to a study that suggests not being a little bit drunk every day...
Stevenage

Slums angered after being compared to Stevenage by Lewis Hamilton

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Lewis Hamilton has upset slums all over the world by comparing them to Stevenage. The five-time Formula 1 world champion made the faux pas while...
Corbyn

Jeremy Corbyn is always right and his wee wee smells of rainbows

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In the wake of this week's political posturing a spokesman for Momentum and a journalist for the Canary has revealed that Jeremy Corbyn is...

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