BBC bans racist song White Christmas
The BBC working on advice from Institute for Cultural Correctness has announced that the song, White Christmas is to be banned.
Spokeswoman for the perpetually...
Woman doesn’t dick about with thermostat
A woman from Rochdale has taken the extraordinary decision to not dick about with the central heating thermostat.
Barbara Dickinson responded to the fact that...
Birmingham Airport begins Windows 10 update
Birmingham Airport officials have announced they've accidentally started a Windows 10 update. The update is alleged to have caused the air traffic control centre...
Thousands gather in London to watch fireworks through their phones
Scores of New Year's Eve partygoers descended on London last night to watch the spectacular fireworks display through their smartphones.
Over a hundred thousand people...
Vladimir Putin wins Great Russian Bake-off after other contestants fall ill
Vladimir Putin has won the Russian version of Celebrity Great British Bake-off after all the other contestants sadly died in tragic but mysterious circumstances.
Mr...
Anne Widdecombe symbolically frees her slave
Following her first speech in the European Parliament, we have avoided the term 'maiden speech' as all her speeches are maiden, Anne Widdecombe has...
Royal baby has already earned more than you
The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have left hospital after increasing the burden on the taxpayer for a third time.
The new prince, who was...
Scotland’s oldest man dies aged 35
Tributes have been paid to Gregor McGregor, Scotland's oldest man who died today aged 35.
An angry man with an impenetrable accent told us, "It's...
The Queen asks Merkel to form a government
Her Majesty the Queen is expected to travel to Berlin later today to ask German Chancellor Angela Merkel to form a government for the...
We won, get over it! voted 2017 Phrase of the Year by racists
We won, get over it! has become the new mantra of choice for racists, according to the results of a new survey published today.
The...
‘On The Buses’ Star In 70’s Sex Shocker
In light of the recent revelations surrounding the scandalous sexual exploits of certain Hollywood actors and some of our own MP’s, one of Britain’s...
JK Rowling dedicates next book Harry Potter and The Dead Girl’s Voicemail to Piers...
JK Rowling has dedicated the next instalment of the global phenomenon Harry Potter to Piers Morgan.
Stonehenge to be knocked down to make way for new Super-Mosque
Details leaked from an article due to be published in the Daily Mail show plans to bulldoze the famous neolithic landmark to make way...
Why can’t we just do a spa day and go to bed early, says...
In a world first a group of lads from Rochdale have posed the question, "why can't we just do something civilised and get a...
Is Daily Mail Editor Paul Dacre the most flaccid cockgoblin in the UK?
Unsubstantiated sources allege Dacre is comfortably the vilest hate-peddling shitweasel in the UK.
Feel free to tell us if you disagree with these allegations. But...
Get fit and beat inflation with subsistence farming and foraging, Top Tory tells poor
Tory ministers are expected to announce a three part plan to tackle obesity and food inflation later this week.
