Daily Mail Readers

Are we the baddies ask Daily Mail readers

21
A Rochdale couple have been telling the Herald how they fear they may now be the baddies. Martin and Drusilla Williams regularly buy the Daily...
Kitten

Fluffy kitten is a double hard bastard

0
An adorably fluffy little kitten from Bury has confirmed he is a double hard bastard who is not to be trifled with. 13 week old...
Rees Mogg

You lost get over it, Jacob Rees-Mogg told

0
Jacob Rees-Mogg has been told to get over losing the no confidence vote in Theresa May last night. Mr Rees-Mogg heads the European Research Group...
hummus

Northern supermarket to trial hummus

0
News is breaking that a well-known northern supermarket is to start selling hummus at some stores at some point in 2021. It is thought that...
Paddington Bear

Outrage as Paddington Bear deported back to Peru

8
Much loved star of children's literature, TV and films, Paddington Bear, has been arrested and deported to Peru, as part of a round up of...

US celebrates after number of days so far this year overtakes number of mass...

0
Americans across America are celebrating the fact that for the first time since the invention of calendars there have been more days in the...

BBC bans racist song White Christmas

0
The BBC working on advice from Institute for Cultural Correctness has announced that the song, White Christmas is to be banned. Spokeswoman for the perpetually...
Assad

Assad regime toppled after receiving strongly worded letter from Jeremy Corbyn

0
Jeremy Corbyn has issued a strongly worded letter to Bashar al-Assad today. It seems it's had some effect as the regime has been toppled. Jamal...
Sofa

David Davis and Liam Fox successfully negotiate paying full price for DFS sofa

0
Liam Fox and David Davis have been telling reporters how they were able to utilise their formidable negotiating skills to buy a new sofa...
Earl Grey

Earl Grey tea is actually horrible, admit people who drink it

0
A woman from Rochdale has admitted that she doesn't really like Earl Grey tea because it tastes horrible. Winifred Barbarella from Milnrow (35 and three...
Student Loans Company

Bloke from the Student Loans Company still thinks they’re getting their money back

0
A delusional representative of the Student Loans Company has said that he is still optimistic that they might get some of the money back...
Pot to piss in

Conservatives pledge ‘free pots’ for poor to piss in

15
In the latest Tory manifesto promise benefit claimants and people earning less than minimum wage are to be sent a free chamber pot. Current Work and...
HMS Queen Elizabeth

Three billion seems reasonable for boat with hole in it, says Government responsible for...

0
The people responsible for negotiating the UK's exit from the European Union have confirmed that three billion pounds is a completely reasonable sum of...
Doctor Who

Calls for end to austerity as BBC reveal they can only afford female to...

53
Cost cutting at state broadcaster curtails roles for male actors. The BBC has responded to continuing pressure from central government to reduce costs by reducing...

Aung San Suu Kyi surrenders Freedom of Dublin refusing to share the honour with...

0
Burmese leader Aung San Suu Kyi has given up her Freedom of the city of Dublin in protest at sharing the distinction with Bono,...

Only 6 sleeps until poppy day, fascist children told

0
The children of Fascists have been conveying their excitement at there only being 6 more sleeps until poppy day. 7 year old Bill Board said,...

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