US celebrates after number of days so far this year overtakes number of mass...
Americans across America are celebrating the fact that for the first time since the invention of calendars there have been more days in the...
Probably not as many paedophiles on New Year’s honours list as usual, say Buckingham...
Buckingham Palace has confirmed today that there was probably an unusually small number of paedophiles on this year's New Year's Honours list.
"It's been a...
DUP advises British Gas customers to burn witches and Catholics to keep warm this...
Princess Diana's body is to be exhumed and hung on a gibbet outside Buckingham Palace to commemorate the 20th anniversary of the last witch-hunt...
Dipshit to argue with Thicko about terrible idea
A thicko has accepted a dipshit's challenge of a debate on the telly to sort of discuss how best to implement a dreadful idea.
The...
Black Friday riots as Asda sell trolleys for £1
Riot police had to be called to a Rochdale Asda today following a bout of civil disorder. Heavy discounts meant customers could purchase trolleys...
Satire Aid has bought 3,500 presents worth more than £31,000!
A quick Satire Aid update for you. The amazing readers of The Rochdale Herald, NewsThump, Tuckered, U Ok Hun and Angry People in Local...
Nigel Farage thrilled to hold onto Question Time Seat
Nigel Farage has responded to criticism from Andrew Neill that Brexit Party no longer has a reason to exist following their total annihilation in the exit...
Humans cured of sexuality after imagining Ann Widdecombe masturbating in the bath
Scientists from Rochdale's Community University have finally managed to find a cure for human sexuality after asking people to imagine Ann Widdecombe fiddling with...
Saudi woman celebrates being able to drive to friends stoning
A Saudi woman has been telling the Rochdale Herald how she's looking forward to being allowed to drive to the stoning of a woman...
Kim Jong Un opens Pyonyang’s first fish and chip shop ‘Fission Chips’ to critical...
The world famous entrepreneur and basketball star, Kim Jong Un, has today opened the first fish and chip shop in North Korea.
The chippy, named...
Dog who wanted to go outside immediately wants to come back in
A dog who has spent the last hour and a half peering longingly through the patio doors at the garden is now peering longingly...
Local man begins annual quest to find Muslim offended by the word ‘Easter’
Our intrepid reporter Charlie Stuart spends the day with a patriot on a mission.
Lovely Grandma catches racism after wiping bottom on Daily Mail
A lovely old grandma who contracted racism during a trip to Burnley last week is in a "serious condition" after being admitted to an...
Jeremy Corbyn announces plans to nationalise the Glastonbury Music Festival
Standing on the Pyramid stage at Glastonbury, Jeremy Corbyn had a Eureka moment.
"If all these bloody people can afford to come here at these...
Northern supermarket to trial hummus
News is breaking that a well-known northern supermarket is to start selling hummus at some stores at some point in 2021.
It is thought that...
Glastonbury food vendors uproar after Jeremy Corbyn feeds festival with five loaves and two...
Food vendors at the Glastonbury festival have been in uproar today after Jeremy Corbyn fed the entire site using just five loaves of bread...
