Only one more sleep until Dads start Christmas shopping

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Dads are said to be giddy with excitement at the news that it's only one more sleep until they can start their Christmas shopping. Dads...
Christmas Morning

Big Fat Secret Santa Update – 3,001 Christmas Presents worth £24,522.45 for kids in...

0
I had the privilege of a very happy childhood in a prosperous and loving home.  My earliest memories are of Christmas. I remember the excitement...
Alanis Morisette

Alanis Morisette to rename 1996 hit Inconvenient after learning what Ironic means

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Canadian rock songstress Alanis Morisette has re-written her 1996 classic single "Ironic" after finally meeting a British person who filled her in on the meaning of the word irony.

Many Muslims not rioting in streets

2
The Rochdale Herald learned today that almost two billion Muslims around the world went about their daily business without perpetuating a single crime, let...
Mike Pence

Jesus definitely said ‘Suffer the little children to come unto me, so I can...

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The US Vice President, Mike Pence, has told reporters that the Trump administration's policy of keeping child migrants in cages is definitely consistent with the...
Francis Underwood

Fictional President held to higher standard than actual President

1
Fictional President of the United States Francis Underwood has been obliged to step down this week following allegations of historical sexual harassment. Whilst his Presidency...

Wolverhampton and Dudley will declare independence from the West Midlands ‘in a matter of...

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Wolverhampton & Dudley will declare independence from the West Midlands in a matter of days, the leader of the autonomous region has told the...
Punggye-ri

North Korea piccalilli factory in full production – SHOCKING satellite images show

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CHILLING satellite photographs show North Korean chemical factories are manufacturing weapons grade piccalilli in horrifying quantities. Grainy images at first sight lead viewers to think...
Assad

Assad regime toppled after receiving strongly worded letter from Jeremy Corbyn

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Jeremy Corbyn has issued a strongly worded letter to Bashar al-Assad today. It seems it's had some effect as the regime has been toppled. Jamal...

Probably not as many paedophiles on New Year’s honours list as usual, say Buckingham...

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Buckingham Palace has confirmed today that there was probably an unusually small number of paedophiles on this year's New Year's Honours list. "It's been a...

Mugwump? That hoofwanking spangletwat needs to stop spafftrumpeting says Corbyn

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Earlier this morning Boris Johnson MP called Jeremy Corbyn a 'Mutton-headed Mugwump'. Full time buffoon and part time Foreign Secretary is known for his creative language...
Ebola

‘Deadly viruses don’t kill people, people kill people,’ claims Ebola

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In a bid to improve its reputation as one of the world's most lethal pathogens, the Ebola virus has today sought to shift the...

Bloke whose wife said “do what you like” thinks he’s going to get to...

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A husband whose wife told him to do whatever he likes is still not aware that he really isn’t going to get to do what he likes.

Scientists admit Rees-Mogg is experiment to create the perfect twat

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There was mild surprise today, as the lid was blown off a secret program revealing that Tory MP Jacob Rees-Mogg was the product of...
trump salute

Donald Trump autobiography ‘My Struggle’ set for December release

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A spokesman for Donald Trump has announced that the eagerly anticipated Trump autobiography is set for release in early December just in time for...
organ donors

Everybody who needs new kidney to get one as fair weather motorcyclists venture outside

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The recent heat wave has meant that part-time riders and fair weather Valentino Rossi wannabes are venturing into the garage to wheel out their...

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