Francis Underwood

Fictional President held to higher standard than actual President

1
Fictional President of the United States Francis Underwood has been obliged to step down this week following allegations of historical sexual harassment. Whilst his Presidency...

Clock in car mysteriously right again

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There was befuddlement all over the UK this morning after every motorist in the country reported that the clock in the car is mysteriously...

KFC chicken shortage averted with introduction of all new recipe

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KFC lovers around the country are thrilled that their local branches are reopening with an all new menu. Chiefs at the multi-national fast-food chain have...
Brian

Corbyn confirmed as ‘not Messiah, but a very naughty boy’

19
In a shock revelation today, it has been confirmed that the Labour leader and General Election candidate Jeremy Corbyn is not in fact the...

Shop selling stuff people don’t buy goes into administration, again

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People in Rochdale have been speaking of the shock at discovering HMV has collapsed again. Many thought it had gone bust years ago. Stan...

Denmark offers to buy America from Russia

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Mette Frederiksen, the Prime Minister of Denmark has reportedly expressed an interest in buying the Russian controlled territory of the United States of America. Rich...

ISIS claim responsibility for self-service checkouts

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So called 'Islamic State'  have claimed responsibility for supermarket self service checkouts. A statement released by ISIS said they came up with the idea after...
Scientists

Obvious Satire Still Confusing Idiots, Say Scientists 

16
Researchers at the esteemed Rochdale Community University have published a study today revealing that fool-proof satire is still not fool-proof.  "We gave some angry morons...

Couple still at bottle bank

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A Rochdale couple is now entering their third day of disposing of bottles at their local bottle bank.
Sajid Javid

Sajid Javid accidentally deports himself to Pakistan

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Sajid Javid has accidentally deported himself to Pakistan. A Home Office spokesman said, "Mr Javid has said that a hard Brexit is a good thing...

Your Mum has a dildo

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Children all over the country are coming to terms with the horrifying reality that their Mums have at least one dildo.

Chris Rea not driving home for Christmas as Teesside enters Tier 3 Covid restrictions

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Chris Rea has been forced to abandon plans to drive home for Christmas after it was announced that Middlesbrough has entered Tier 3 Covid...
Tommy Robinson

Tommy Robinson wins coveted softest mouth in Hull prison award

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Tommy Robinson has been voted HMP Hull's softest mouth award. Mr Robinson will be awarded the prize in a ceremony to be held on the...

OUTRAGE as Middle Eastern immigrant cast as Mary in school nativity play

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A Rochdale primary school has come under fire from parents for casting a 9 year old Palestinian immigrant as the virgin Mary in the...
Dominic Raab

Dominic Raab announces sanctions on Isle of Aran

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Foreign Secretary, Dominic Raab has announced sanctions on the Isle of Aran. Mr Raaab announced the sanctions during a visit to Blackpool Tower in...
Children At Christmas

It’s definitely CHRISTMAS – Big Fat Secret Santa buys 13,500 presents worth £97,952

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It is definitely Christmas you unbelievably charitable and hilarious lunatics.  You crazy people have now bought £98,000 worth of presents for 13,500 kids and teenagers...

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