Leaked Bond script just ninety minutes of Idris Elba’s Aston Martin being stopped by...
Latest Bond film, Stop and be Searched, shows James Bond as you have never seen him before
After speculation in recent months that the next...
Burnley Lidl selling Father’s Day Cards in packs of five
With Father's Day fast approaching, supermarkets and stationary stores across the country are displaying cards and gifts for children to give to their father this Sunday. Burnley Lidl has raised a few eyebrows with its five card bundle offer.
Angela Merkel to meet Theresa May to tell her to piss off in person
Angela Merkel, the German Chancellor, is due to meet with Theresa May later today to spit in her face and tell her to piss...
Man dies of boredom after chance meeting with vegan who does CrossFit
A Rochdale man has died after being placed near a group of Gym buddies at a Christmas party.
Horace Cope was rushed to hospital after...
Boris Johnson launches ‘Free Robert Mugabe’ campaign
The campaign is headed up by Boris Johnson who is thought to believe that if it's successful he could be the leader of Zanu...
Elmer Fudd resigns as Home Secretary
The Home Secretary Elmer Fudd has resigned, Downing Street has said.
Mr Fudd, was due to make a Commons Statement on Monday about the Windrush...
‘Deadly viruses don’t kill people, people kill people,’ claims Ebola
In a bid to improve its reputation as one of the world's most lethal pathogens, the Ebola virus has today sought to shift the...
Muslim women swap burkas for Stig costumes to appeal to middle aged white men
A new experimental initiative has seen numerous British Muslim women swap their traditional full face veils for an outfit made popular by Top Gear's...
Get fit and beat inflation with subsistence farming and foraging, Top Tory tells poor
Tory ministers are expected to announce a three part plan to tackle obesity and food inflation later this week.
Dead burglar to get state funeral
A Rochdale burglar who was killed whilst at work will receive a state funeral.
Councillor Tom Walsh said, "This man wasn't any old burgular. He...
Unemployed mother on benefits knocked up AGAIN
It's all over social media that an unemployed mother on state benefits, who already has two kids, is knocked up yet again.
Brexit Party MEPs accidentally turn to face Mecca during national anthem
Brexit Party MEPs have apologised to their racists after accidentally turning to face Mecca as the European Parliament returned.
"It was an honest mistake and...
Winning a general election easier than taking benefits from orphans says woman who took...
Like the irritating eager new guy at work, dark Sith Lord and unelected PM, Theresa May, announced a snap general election 15 minutes before...
Prince Harry to marry woman he is barely related to
Prince Harry is breaking with Royal protocol by marrying an American actress he is barely related to.
Kensington Palace are said to be disturbed saying...
Cute dog is a savage little shit
A survey of very cute little dogs has discovered that almost 99.9% of them are in fact savage little bastards.
The survey which was carried...
Owning an IKEA loyalty card doesn’t count as Swedish heritage, disappointed Scots told
Avid football fans across Scotland were left disappointed earlier today when it was confirmed that membership of IKEA's Family Card scheme does not count as Swedish heritage.
The news comes...
