Kate and William

New royal baby to be called DIANA and raised as a GIRL

0
Buckingham Palace has sought to quash rumours that the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are set to call their new baby boy 'Diana' and...
Obi Wan Kenobi

Corbyn tells press conference if you strike me down I will become more powerful...

0
Following Theresa May's unsurprising announcement of a snap general election, Jeremy Corbyn has made a press statement. Stood in front of a dozen media representatives he said; "We...
Conservative Party

ISIS claim responsibility for Conservative Party Conference

29
The attackers wrote Boris’s jokes, Theresa May’s speech and arranged for all the letters to fall off the wall behind the Prime Minister during her main conference address in an audacious display of comic timing.

Only 6 sleeps until poppy day, fascist children told

0
The children of Fascists have been conveying their excitement at there only being 6 more sleeps until poppy day. 7 year old Bill Board said,...
Ann Widdecombe

Humans cured of sexuality after imagining Ann Widdecombe masturbating in the bath

Scientists from Rochdale's Community University have finally managed to find a cure for human sexuality after asking people to imagine Ann Widdecombe fiddling with...
Idris Elba

Leaked Bond script just ninety minutes of Idris Elba’s Aston Martin being stopped by...

0
Latest Bond film, Stop and be Searched, shows James Bond as you have never seen him before After speculation in recent months that the next...

Rochdale vale terrorised by 1% outlaw motorhome gangs

9
Rochdale is in the grips of an outlaw Caravaner gang; who are terrorising wild life, being a public nuisance and brawling with dog walkers...
Traffic Jam

Chaos on Cambridge roads after Sat Navs hold minute silence for Stephen Hawking

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There has been chaos today around Cambridge today after all the Sat Navs in the town spontaneously held a minute silence in remembrance of...
Prince Philip

Prince Philip deemed fit to work after ATOS work capability assessment

18
Prince Philip has today gone under the knife for surgery on his dodgy hip. However 30 minutes later he was deemed fit to work in an...
Flat earth map

Sheffield Council declare majority of citizens think world is flat

0
Sheffield Council has been forced to declare their belief in a flat earth after applying the same statistical analysis to a recent on-line poll...
Jeremy Corbyn

Jeremy Corbyn pictured laying wreath with international terrorists, arms dealers and mass murderers

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Jeremy Corbyn is once again under fire after being photographed at a wreath laying event with a bunch of  terrorists, mass murderers, international arms...
Burnley Teenager

Burnley schoolgirl goes whole term without getting pregnant

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The leader of Burnley council has called for calm today, after it was revealed a Burnley schoolgirl went an entire term without becoming pregnant. Eric...

Donald Trump hires Hugo Boss to design new ‘Cabinet Uniform’

5
The controversial decision to hire Hugo Boss was openly discussed by The President-elect, Donald J. Trump, on Good Morning America yesterday during a catwalk...
Bob Marley

Bob Marley suspended from Labour Party over claims iron lions are from Zion

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Scandal has hit the beleaguered former political party, the Labour Party, this morning after a kangaroo court voted to suspend the dead Rastafarian singer...
Daily Mail Readers

Are we the baddies ask Daily Mail readers

21
A Rochdale couple have been telling the Herald how they fear they may now be the baddies. Martin and Drusilla Williams regularly buy the Daily...
Angela Merkel

Angela Merkel to meet Theresa May to tell her to piss off in person

0
Angela Merkel, the German Chancellor, is due to meet with Theresa May later today to spit in her face and tell her to piss...

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