Rees-Mogg puts his clock back 200 years
Jacob Rees-Mogg has, today woken up in 1818 after instructing his Valet to put his clock back 200 years.
His Butler, Riff Raff told us,...
Ant McPartlin’s forehead to be used as theatre wheelchair ramp as part of community...
There was a much needed boost for disabled theatre lovers today, as a West End theatre confirmed they had secured the use of Ant...
Chris Rea not driving home for Christmas as Teesside enters Tier 3 Covid restrictions
Chris Rea has been forced to abandon plans to drive home for Christmas after it was announced that Middlesbrough has entered Tier 3 Covid...
Women in Burkhas look ridiculous, says man who looks like an overweight mop
Boris Johnson has once again found himself under fire due to comments he made likening women who wear Burqas and Niqabs in appearance to...
Conservative Christmas Party cancelled after failing to negotiate piss up deal with brewery
There was despair throughout the Conservative Party today after government officials announced that the annual Christmas do has been cancelled.
The news comes after many...
BBC to launch Strictly Morris Dancing.
Due to the success of its Strictly Come Dancing series and it's desperate search to find a Bake Off replacement, the BBC has commissioned...
All soldiers know what they are signing up for, that’s why I dodged the...
The West Wing has been forced to defend President Trump against malicious disinformation about his health and state of mind for months.
Allegations about his...
David Davis replaced as Brexit negotiator by two short planks
The government announced this morning that Chief Brexit negotiator David Davis is to be replaced by two short planks.
It's believed the replacement of Mr....
Department of Justice confirms that Trump will be tried as an adult
The Department of Justice has confirmed that if and when Donald Trump is indicted for colluding with Russia during the 2016 Presidential election he...
Meghan Markle nominated for Oscar for her portrayal of woman in love with Prince...
As the New Year approaches rumours are already circulating about next year's Oscar nominations. An early nomination thrown into the frame is Meghan Markle.
The...
Men warned not to date clever & pretty girls who might get “a bit...
A Judge has warned men that they only have themselves to blame if they date very clever, very pretty girls who are "a bit...
Mugwump? That hoofwanking spangletwat needs to stop spafftrumpeting says Corbyn
Earlier this morning Boris Johnson MP called Jeremy Corbyn a 'Mutton-headed Mugwump'.
Full time buffoon and part time Foreign Secretary is known for his creative language...
Chinese space station crashes into Burnley causing £12-50 worth of damage
The Tiangong-1 Chinese space station that has been out of control since 2016 finally crashed down to Earth in the early hours of Monday...
Denmark offers to buy America from Russia
Mette Frederiksen, the Prime Minister of Denmark has reportedly expressed an interest in buying the Russian controlled territory of the United States of America.
Rich...
Wanker punches Dickhead. Dickhead in serious condition
News is emerging from Belgium today that a wanker has punched a dickhead and the dickhead is in a serious condition with a bleed on the brain.
Home Worker facing HR disciplinary hearing after sexually assaulting himself at work Christmas Party
A home worker from Rochdale is facing a disciplinary hearing today after he allegedly sexually assaulted himself after getting drunk at his office Christmas...
