British expats outraged as boat full of migrants wash up on their Spanish beach

0
Beachgoers were surprised by the sight of dozens of migrants scrambling out of the surf today at the Playa de los Alemanes resort in...

Scientists admit Rees-Mogg is experiment to create the perfect twat

0
There was mild surprise today, as the lid was blown off a secret program revealing that Tory MP Jacob Rees-Mogg was the product of...

Paul Nutall announces he’s going to be the next Doctor

0
Early last week news broke that Peter Capaldi will stepping down from the iconic role after this year's Christmas special. Speculation has been rife as...
Donald Trump

Donald Trump calls for a ban on schools after latest US school shooting

0
So-called 'President' and full-time Twitter troll Donald Trump wants a 'total and complete shutdown' of schools in the US after the Florida School shooting earlier...

First shipment of thoughts and prayers for mass shooting victims arrive in California

0
It's all better in California now after a much needed vital shipment of thoughts and prayers arrived in Gilroy following today's mass shooting. "Yeah, we're...
Newcastle

Met Office alert after sighting of Geordie woman wearing jacket in Newcastle

31
The Met Office has issued an almost unprecedented weather warning this evening after it was reported a woman was spotted on a night out in Newcastle city centre wearing a jacket.
Cat

Dead mice brought in by cats to be declared part of household income in...

44
Cat-owners are now being asked to count any rodents or birds left on their doorstep as declarable earnings in their application for means-tested benefits,...
Sajid Javid

Sajid Javid accidentally deports himself to Pakistan

0
Sajid Javid has accidentally deported himself to Pakistan. A Home Office spokesman said, "Mr Javid has said that a hard Brexit is a good thing...
Theresa May

Theresa May meets Nicola Sturgeon to tell her to fuck off in person

0
Theresa May met children's entertainer and Scottish First Minister, Nicola Sturgeon today to tell her to fuck off in person. Ostensibly the meeting was to...

People who ‘say it like it is’ invariably arseholes groundbreaking research concludes

0
Researchers at Rochdale Community University have concluded that people who "tell it like it is" are invariably complete arseholes. "People who 'tell it like it...
Vicki Pollard

Burnley ‘model’ swaps ‘virginity’ for fish and chip supper

0
A 19-year old 'model from Burnley has spoken of a dream come true after she swapped her 'virginity' for some fish and chips with...
Theresa May

Winning a general election easier than taking benefits from orphans says woman who took...

0
Like the irritating eager new guy at work, dark Sith Lord and unelected PM, Theresa May, announced a snap general election 15 minutes before...
Big Ben

Big Ben to be renamed Massive Mohammed from 2018

367
Equality campaigners have welcomed plans to rename Big Ben as part of a project celebrating London's rich cultural heritage. The famous landmark, which is due...
Zizzi

Yulia Skripal leaves Zizzi’s Salisbury 1 star TripAdvisor review

0
Yulia Skripal has left her first TripAdvisor review since being poisoned last month. Ms Skripal said, "I was in the country visiting my father in...
Brian Cox's Flat Earth

Brian Cox concedes Earth is flat after spotting massive rounding error

0
Astrophysicists around or rather, across the world are in turmoil after Oldham-born pop-rock sensation, Professor Brian Cox today admitted that the Earth is...

Trudeau Promises Canadian Citizens A Wall. ‘U.S. Will Pay’

2
Canadian Premier Justin Trudeau reacted to the news of Donald Trump's election as US President by announcing plans for a wall to be built...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts