Couple still at bottle bank
A Rochdale couple is now entering their third day of disposing of bottles at their local bottle bank.
Facebook ruining Christmas for kids in poverty
Facebook in their infinite wisdom have smashed the holy hell out of the reach of comedy pages likes ours, NewsThump, Tuckered and SNN.
Apparently they...
UK Customs replace “Nothing to declare” signs with “Abandon All Hope Ye Who Enter...
Following the news that Boris Johnson has been elected Prime Minister UK Customs officials have decided to replace all the 'Nothing to Declare' signs...
Emergency services called after Bob Geldof disappears up his own arse
Two fire engines along with police and ambulance crews were called to the centre of Dublin after reports came in that a man had...
Homeless man turns life around after being told to ‘get a job’
53 year old Gulf war veteran, Ian Stapleton, had been living rough on the streets of Manchester for the last seven years.
The heroic soldier...
Burnley ‘model’ swaps ‘virginity’ for fish and chip supper
A 19-year old 'model from Burnley has spoken of a dream come true after she swapped her 'virginity' for some fish and chips with...
Rochdale man jailed for putting milk in tea before taking out teabag
A Rochdale man has been jailed for seven years for crimes against tea, it has been reported today.
Steve Dickinson, 42 and a bit, was...
Men warned not to date clever & pretty girls who might get “a bit...
A Judge has warned men that they only have themselves to blame if they date very clever, very pretty girls who are "a bit...
Daily Mail Readers confused more toddlers haven’t walked alone to UK from Syria
Daily Mail Readers are confused more toddlers haven't walked the 2,000 miles to Calais from Syria.
We won, get over it! voted 2017 Phrase of the Year by racists
We won, get over it! has become the new mantra of choice for racists, according to the results of a new survey published today.
The...
IKEA announce new post Brexit home-ware range
Swedish furniture and home-ware giant IKEA have announced that it plans tolaunch a new range of "post Brexit furniture and home-ware" to suit the...
Druids “fecking knackered” after moving Stonehenge an hour forward
With the season now officially spring, clocks up and down the nations have been moved forward one hour to adjust to British Summer Time;...
Canada and Mexico to build border walls if World Bank will fund a lid
The governments of Canada and Mexico reached an historic agreement today to build 50 foot tall walls along their borders with the US on the proviso that the World Bank lends them the money for a lid.
ISIS and UN unite to condemn So-Called Yodel Customer Services for crimes against humanity
ISIS and all the member states of the United Nations have broadly condemned the British parcel delivery firm and courier service Yodel for crimes against humanity.
Department of Justice confirms that Trump will be tried as an adult
The Department of Justice has confirmed that if and when Donald Trump is indicted for colluding with Russia during the 2016 Presidential election he...
Birmingham Airport begins Windows 10 update
Birmingham Airport officials have announced they've accidentally started a Windows 10 update. The update is alleged to have caused the air traffic control centre...
