Hunt saboteurs can’t feel pain, government declares
The government has voted to reject a bill that recognises that hunt saboteurs are humans who feel pain and emotion.
Following an incident over the...
Is Daily Mail Editor Paul Dacre the most flaccid cockgoblin in the UK?
Unsubstantiated sources allege Dacre is comfortably the vilest hate-peddling shitweasel in the UK.
Feel free to tell us if you disagree with these allegations. But...
Next Call of Duty to be set on Oxford Street during Black Friday sales
The team behind the bewilderingly popular series of computer games Call of Duty has revealed that the next instalment of the franchise will be...
Big Fat Secret Santa Update – 3,001 Christmas Presents worth £24,522.45 for kids in...
I had the privilege of a very happy childhood in a prosperous and loving home.
My earliest memories are of Christmas. I remember the excitement...
Melania Trump faces criticism for wearing “Exterminate” t-shirt to Holocaust Memorial
Melania Trump is faces yet more criticism today after wearing a Dalek’s t-shirt during a visit to the Holocaust Memorial in Berlin.
Chris Grayling wins Turner Prize for dystopian work “Railway Timetable in May”
The Turner Prize committee has announced that this year's prize will be awarded to Chris Grayling for his dystopian work, "Railway Timetable in May".
A...
Brexit Party MEPs accidentally turn to face Mecca during national anthem
Brexit Party MEPs have apologised to their racists after accidentally turning to face Mecca as the European Parliament returned.
"It was an honest mistake and...
Civilised countries don’t gas civilians, they shoot them with AR-15s bought over counter at...
The US has told a UN Security Council meeting that the recent chemical attack on Syria is completely unacceptable.
Responding to reports of an incident...
Man attends Halloween party dressed as cyclist
A Rochdale man has won a Halloween fancy dress competition after turning up dressed as a cyclist. Bill Board, 35 arrived at pal Stan...
Are we the baddies ask Daily Mail readers
A Rochdale couple have been telling the Herald how they fear they may now be the baddies.
Martin and Drusilla Williams regularly buy the Daily...
Woman doesn’t dick about with thermostat
A woman from Rochdale has taken the extraordinary decision to not dick about with the central heating thermostat.
Barbara Dickinson responded to the fact that...
Child taken from mother after being forced to live as a Tory
A seven-year-old boy from Rochdale who had been "living life entirely as a Tory" has been taken from his mother's care following a High...
Susan Boyle to sing Dead Kennedys ‘Too Drunk To F*ck’ at Trump Inauguration
In a last ditch attempt to find a "celebrity" to perform at Trump's Inauguration Scottish songstress and Britain's Got Talent sensation Susan Boyle (aka...
Probably not as many paedophiles on New Year’s honours list as usual, say Buckingham...
Buckingham Palace has confirmed today that there was probably an unusually small number of paedophiles on this year's New Year's Honours list.
"It's been a...
You lost get over it, Jacob Rees-Mogg told
Jacob Rees-Mogg has been told to get over losing the no confidence vote in Theresa May last night.
Mr Rees-Mogg heads the European Research Group...
Dead burglar to get state funeral
A Rochdale burglar who was killed whilst at work will receive a state funeral.
Councillor Tom Walsh said, "This man wasn't any old burgular. He...
