Traffic Jam

Chaos on Cambridge roads after Sat Navs hold minute silence for Stephen Hawking

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There has been chaos today around Cambridge today after all the Sat Navs in the town spontaneously held a minute silence in remembrance of...
Katie Hopkins

VICTORY! I am a racist, not a druggie says Hopkins

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Katie Hopkins is celebrating her racist and drug-free status tonight, it has been confirmed. Hopkins, 67, made a complaint to the Independent Press Standards Organisation...

New royal baby to be called Mohammed and raised gender neutral

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The Duchess of Sussex Megan Markle has today given birth to a healthy child after a quick labour. Prince Harry is reported as delighted, as...

SHOCK as cocaine bought in Rochdale nightclub found to contain trace amounts of COCAINE

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Local man Geoff Addy was out partying in Rochdale's premier night club, Kokos, on Saturday for his mate John Bullington's abortion party, when he...

Government announces Festival of Brexit will be held in derelict car manufacturing plants

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The Government has announced a new exciting celebration of Brexit. Speaking exclusively to The Rochdale Herald, Government insider Cliff Edge told us, "The festival will...

World in shock as man with history of taking steroids runs faster than bloke...

The World is in shock today after a bloke who has a well documented history of taking performance enhancing drugs ran a bit faster than a bloke who doesn't.
Who Shot JR

Trump to release fresh evidence that Obama shot JR

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The so-called "President" of the United States has ordered the CIA release all of the files relating to the attempted assassination of Texan oil...

Walkers still putting cheese and onion crisps in wrong coloured bag

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Walkers crisps have been told that they're putting cheese and onion crisps in the wrong coloured bag despite everyone knowing that they don't go...
Neath

Earthquake rescue workers reassured that Wales is fine, it’s supposed to look like that

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Earthquake rescue teams from around the globe were told to stand down today after they descended en masse on Neath in South Wales following...
Boris Johnson

Women in Burkhas look ridiculous, says man who looks like an overweight mop

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Boris Johnson has once again found himself under fire due to comments he made likening women who wear Burqas and Niqabs in appearance to...
Kitten

Fluffy kitten is a double hard bastard

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An adorably fluffy little kitten from Bury has confirmed he is a double hard bastard who is not to be trifled with. 13 week old...
Putin

Vladimir Putin wins Great Russian Bake-off after other contestants fall ill

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Vladimir Putin has won the Russian version of Celebrity Great British Bake-off after all the other contestants sadly died in tragic but mysterious circumstances. Mr...
Demolition

Council demolish victim’s home to erect memorial garden for dead burglar

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In a surprise move today London councillors have confirmed plans to demolish the home of 78 year old Mr Osborn-Brooks and in its place...

Rees-Mogg admits he took snuff at Debutante Ball

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Prominent Conservative backbencher, Jacob Rees-Mogg has admitted to partaking in the eighteenth century pastime of inhaling ground tobacco, otherwise known as snuff. The admission came...
Annoyed Cat

Dead mouse on kitchen floor is a warning, not a gift

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The dead animals that the cat has been dragging in from the garden are not gifts, they’re warnings cats have confirmed. Fluffles the cat, from...

No arrests made as gang of white people chase group of black men through...

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Reports are coming in of a civil disturbance in London which has seen a mob of almost 40,000 white people chase a small group...

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