Asda

Black Friday riots as Asda sell trolleys for £1

0
Riot police had to be called to a Rochdale Asda today following a bout of civil disorder. Heavy discounts meant customers could purchase trolleys...
Callan

What can we say to Jane other than thank you?

0
A week ago today we started a campaign to buy a gift for a child who needs one this Christmas and the generosity we've...

What’s Sinister about asking academics to wear armbands to identify themselves? Asks Conservative MP

1
A conservative MP and government whip has written to all of the universities in the UK demanding that all the academics and experts in...
Trump Flag

All soldiers know what they are signing up for, that’s why I dodged the...

0
The West Wing has been forced to defend President Trump against malicious disinformation about his health and state of mind for months. Allegations about his...
Angela Merkel

Angela Merkel to meet Theresa May to tell her to piss off in person

0
Angela Merkel, the German Chancellor, is due to meet with Theresa May later today to spit in her face and tell her to piss...

Rochdale man jailed for putting milk in tea before taking out teabag

0
A Rochdale man has been jailed for seven years for crimes against tea, it has been reported today. Steve Dickinson, 42 and a bit, was...
Pot to piss in

Conservatives pledge ‘free pots’ for poor to piss in

15
In the latest Tory manifesto promise benefit claimants and people earning less than minimum wage are to be sent a free chamber pot. Current Work and...

Colonists on LV-426 excited after discovery of Easter eggs

0
Colonists on the Terraforming, research and mining colony Hadley's Hope have discovered what appears to be a large amount of Easter eggs in a...
Ann Widdecombe

Anne Widdecombe symbolically frees her slave

0
Following her first speech in the European Parliament, we have avoided the term 'maiden speech' as all her speeches are maiden, Anne Widdecombe has...
Fox

Foxes vote to bring back fox hunting after promise of ‘iconic’ fox passports

0
Foxes across the UK have voted in favour of repealing the 2004 fox hunting ban, following a Government promise to issue them with 'iconic'...
The Queen

Queen announces Prince Harry will become King of the USA following wedding to Meghan...

0
The Queen has announced that she exercise her right to crown Prince Harry and Meghan Markle King and Queen of the USA. During the announcement...
Riot Police

Corner shop owner lynched by mob in Rochdale after caught selling Yorkshire Tea

11
Marge Riley, 74, was confronted by an angry mob of local residents who objected to her display of Yorkshire Teas. “I just wanted to give...
Shouty man

We won, get over it! voted 2017 Phrase of the Year by racists

0
We won, get over it! has become the new mantra of choice for racists, according to the results of a new survey published today. The...
Stable Genius

White House cleaners resign over ‘I’m a stable genius’ written in sh*t on Oval...

0
Washington - Reports are coming in today that the White House domestic staff who are responsible for cleaning the Oval Office have resigned over...
Hospital

Lovely Grandma catches racism after wiping bottom on Daily Mail

0
A lovely old grandma who contracted racism during a trip to Burnley last week is in a "serious condition" after being admitted to an...
Boris Johnson

Boris Johnson awards Carillion contract to build bridge to France

0
Boris Johnson's office has revealed that the Government will award the contract to build a bridge between Britain and France to construction company and...

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