Northerner brings Kraft Slices to cheese and wine party in Surrey

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A disgraced Northerner has been barred from ever returning to the South, after he humiliated his sister at a bourgeoisie Cheese & Wine evening...
England fans

Mixed feelings for Tommy Robinson supporters as bloke called Ali puts England into semi...

Ruddy faced racists up and down the country are said to have mixed feelings about England getting through to the World Cup Semi Finals...
Tommy Robinson

Tommy Robinson arrested outside Big Brother house for live streaming name of 1st evictee

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Police were called by the bigwigs at Channel 5 today to have self proclaimed journalist and all round twat Tommy Robinson removed from outside...

Only 6 sleeps until poppy day, fascist children told

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The children of Fascists have been conveying their excitement at there only being 6 more sleeps until poppy day. 7 year old Bill Board said,...
Mass Shooting

The NRA are a bunch of fucking arseholes and every single member has the...

356
But ma guns. A survey in 2013 found that the United States had 88.9 firearms for every 100 people. More than Yemen, Mexico, Pakistan and...

World in shock as man with history of taking steroids runs faster than bloke...

The World is in shock today after a bloke who has a well documented history of taking performance enhancing drugs ran a bit faster than a bloke who doesn't.

First shipment of thoughts and prayers for mass shooting victims arrive in California

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It's all better in California now after a much needed vital shipment of thoughts and prayers arrived in Gilroy following today's mass shooting. "Yeah, we're...

Scottish government urged to act as Edinburgh chip shop caught selling deep-fried HEROIN

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Health campaigners in Scotland have urged the SNP government to take immediate action after an Edinburgh chip shop was found to be selling deep-fried...

Scottish man DIES after drinking a glass of WATER

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The first fatality caused by the price increase on alcohol in Scotland was announced this morning. Ian McCreedy aged 42 died at his local...
Free Tommy Robinson

‘Off to free Tommy Robinson’ replaces ‘dropping kids off at the pool’ as UK’s...

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News is just in that spot poll of everybody in the UK has revealed today that the UK's favourite synonym for taking a dump...
Trump Air Force one

Donald Trump arrives in Germany and says ‘Ich bin ein Binliner’ Berlin agrees

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President Donald Trump landed in Germany Sunday morning to kick off the first leg of his 12-day trip to Europe. Trump held a surprise press...

Nigel Farage to replace David Dimbleby as host of BBC’s Question Time

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The BBC have confirmed that Nigel Farage is to replace David Dimbleby as the host of its topical debate programme Question Time. It is understood...
Mo Farah

QUEEN defends herself from MUSLIM IMMIGRANT with SWORD

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According to reports in the Daily Mail today the Queen has been forced to defend herself from a marauding Muslim immigrant with a sword. A...
David Davis

David Davis organises piss up in brewery on wrong day

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The Secretary of State for Exiting the European Union reportedly organised a smashing piss up in a brewery to celebrate New Year's Eve on...
Cyclist

Bloke with shaved legs and huge collection of children’s toys denies mid-life crisis

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A Bloke with shaved legs and huge collection of children's toys denies mid-life crisis. A forty two year old man from Rochdale who shaves his...
Jeremy Corbyn

Jeremy Corbyn demands General Election so voters can choose between Brexit or Brexit

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Jeremy Corbyn has demanded that the Government call a General Election in order that the public can choose between his insane version of Brexit...

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