Piers Morgan quits Good Morning Britain to reprise Pigeon Lady role in Home Alone...

0
Piers Morgan has reportedly quit Good Morning Britain this week in order to reprise his award-winning role of Pigeon Lady in the Home Alone...

Fears for local man missing in Ikea

0
Fears were increasing today for an intrepid, brave, noble man who has been missing in Ikea for 14 days. Steve Dickinson from Dukinfield...
Lord Sugar from The Apprentice

Lord Sugar to humiliate 18 tossers in annual quest to find nation’s biggest twat

61
Hairy scrotum faced narcissist and entrepreneur, Lord Sugar, has launched his annual challange to find the UK's biggest arsehole after himself. The one time Klingon...

Just 126 sleeps until Xmas, says cat

0
A local cat, Elvis Snoogums, has spoken of his excitement as Christmas gets ever closer. Speaking exclusively to the Rochdale Herald Elvis told us, "Soon...

Stonehenge to be knocked down to make way for new Super-Mosque

121
Details leaked from an article due to be published in the Daily Mail show plans to bulldoze the famous neolithic landmark to make way...
Ryanair

Birmingham Airport begins Windows 10 update

0
Birmingham Airport officials have announced they've accidentally started a Windows 10 update. The update is alleged to have caused the air traffic control centre...
George Michael

George Michael declined 33rd heart transplant after ‘giving them away’

0
The 80's pop sensation 90's cop bothering loiterer and naughties stoner George Michael has been refused the vital surgery by the NHS. Chief Cardiovascular Surgeon...
Chris Grayling

Chris Grayling awards ferry contract to Nigerian Prince after receiving fortuitous email

0
Transport Secretary, Chris Grayling has announced that the Government have awarded a contract to provide ferries in the event of a no-deal Brexit. Grayling, the...

Ugly scenes at Rochdale Waitrose as supplies of Chateau Lafite de Rothschild 2009 run...

25
There were frantic scenes of violence and looting yesterday morning after Waitrose ran out of the 2009 vintage of the Chateau Lafite de Rothschild. Customers...

Conservative Christmas Party cancelled after failing to negotiate piss up deal with brewery

0
There was despair throughout the Conservative Party today after government officials announced that the annual Christmas do has been cancelled. The news comes after many...

Britain First’s Paul Golding and the EDL’s Ian Crossland announce engagement

0
Shock today as Britain First leader Paul Golding announced he is to marry EDL chief, Ian Crossland. Although the pair often claim to support gay...
Newcastle

Met Office alert after sighting of Geordie woman wearing jacket in Newcastle

31
The Met Office has issued an almost unprecedented weather warning this evening after it was reported a woman was spotted on a night out in Newcastle city centre wearing a jacket.

Colonists on LV-426 excited after discovery of Easter eggs

0
Colonists on the Terraforming, research and mining colony Hadley's Hope have discovered what appears to be a large amount of Easter eggs in a...
Happy Family

Couples who call each other Mummy and Daddy told to pack it the f*ck...

0
Couples who call each other Mummy and Daddy have been told by the authorities to pack it the fuck in or be faced with...
organ donors

Everybody who needs new kidney to get one as fair weather motorcyclists venture outside

0
The recent heat wave has meant that part-time riders and fair weather Valentino Rossi wannabes are venturing into the garage to wheel out their...

Burnley mum left ‘fuming’ after finding half a vegetable in packet of frozen rats

0
A Burnley supermarket has been forced to remove dozens of dead rats from its shelves after a customer reported finding half a vegetable inside...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts