Assad

Assad regime toppled after receiving strongly worded letter from Jeremy Corbyn

0
Jeremy Corbyn has issued a strongly worded letter to Bashar al-Assad today. It seems it's had some effect as the regime has been toppled. Jamal...

Chris Rea not driving home for Christmas as Teesside enters Tier 3 Covid restrictions

0
Chris Rea has been forced to abandon plans to drive home for Christmas after it was announced that Middlesbrough has entered Tier 3 Covid...
Audi A5

Audi driver denies allegations he used indicators

1
An Audi driver from Rochdale has denied allegations that he used his indicators whilst driving on the M62 last Tuesday morning. At least one woman...
Space Rocket

Audi driver becomes first in space after tailgating Tesla into orbit

0
A Rochdale man has become the first Rochdale resident to go into space. Ted Skeat, 48 achieved the feat by tailgating a Tesla car on...

Cute dog is a savage little shit

85
A survey of very cute little dogs has discovered that almost 99.9% of them are in fact savage little bastards. The survey which was carried...
Right-hand drive chaos

Yorkshire driving ban on women to be lifted

27
The King of Yorkshire, His Majesty Geoffrey Boycott the first, has issued a decree allowing women to drive within the Sovereign state for the...

Archbishop Welby kicks shit out of Nigel Farage following Twitter spat

0
Archbishop Welby is currently helping police with their enquiries in Westminster after allegedly kerb stomping Nigel Farage.
Plumber

London’s last affordable plumber shot by poachers

5
London's last surviving affordable plumber has been killed by poachers in Clapham, according to a conservation group that protects a dwindling group of reliable...
Heating on

Northern Dad puts heating on

0
Confirmed reports are in that a Northern Dad in Lancashire has put the central heating on. Airports throughout the UK have been closed, all trains...
Stable Genius

White House cleaners resign over ‘I’m a stable genius’ written in sh*t on Oval...

0
Washington - Reports are coming in today that the White House domestic staff who are responsible for cleaning the Oval Office have resigned over...
Fat Man on Beach

I’m not an immigrant, I’m British says Britain First supporter who lives on the...

44
When asked what he would describe himself as, as an Englishman abroad, he will usually say something like: “Im an export int I”

Melania Trump was definitely not a prostitute says Melania Trump & Daily Mail

3
Slovenian "model" and "wife" of "human being" Donald Trump has lashed out at allegations in The Daily Mail that she was a sex worker...
Ladder

Trump’s view on border wall evolves after learning the word ‘ladder’

8
Donald Trump has sensationally dropped his controversial border wall plan, a key election promise, after seeing one of his Mexican labourers use a ladder for the first time.

New royal baby to be called Mohammed and raised gender neutral

0
The Duchess of Sussex Megan Markle has today given birth to a healthy child after a quick labour. Prince Harry is reported as delighted, as...

Social Services called after parents name baby Nigel

0
United Kingdom - Reports are emerging that Social Services have stepped in and taken a child into care in Burnley after learning that the...

Northerner brings Kraft Slices to cheese and wine party in Surrey

0
A disgraced Northerner has been barred from ever returning to the South, after he humiliated his sister at a bourgeoisie Cheese & Wine evening...

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