Conservatives pledge ‘free pots’ for poor to piss in
In the latest Tory manifesto promise benefit claimants and people earning less than minimum wage are to be sent a free chamber pot.
Current Work and...
Rochdale man jailed for putting milk in tea before taking out teabag
A Rochdale man has been jailed for seven years for crimes against tea, it has been reported today.
Steve Dickinson, 42 and a bit, was...
Lovely Grandma catches racism after wiping bottom on Daily Mail
A lovely old grandma who contracted racism during a trip to Burnley last week is in a "serious condition" after being admitted to an...
Move to rename Oldham as Oldtofu welcomed by militant vegans
The town of Oldham, Greater Mancashire, has been praised by vegan activists, hipsters and liberal snowflakes alike for taking the progressive move of removing...
Northern supermarket to trial hummus
News is breaking that a well-known northern supermarket is to start selling hummus at some stores at some point in 2021.
It is thought that...
Anne Widdecombe symbolically frees her slave
Following her first speech in the European Parliament, we have avoided the term 'maiden speech' as all her speeches are maiden, Anne Widdecombe has...
Prince Harry arrested in Windsor for aggressive begging to pay for wedding
Windsor-- Following complaints of aggressive begging on the streets of Windsor today Prince Harry was among the vagrants swept up in a Thames Police...
All soldiers know what they are signing up for, that’s why I dodged the...
The West Wing has been forced to defend President Trump against malicious disinformation about his health and state of mind for months.
Allegations about his...
Donald Trump tweets that he was going to be asked to marry Harry but...
Donald Trump has sensationally tweeted that Prince Harry was going to ask him to marry him.
POTUS explained on social media yesterday that he...
Thousands gather in North Yorkshire to see world’s first completely empty Biro
There is more travel misery anticipated for the rest of the week as tens of thousands of people are expected to continue making their...
Judge insists stabbing people is fine provided you’re rich and pretty
A Judge set a legal precedent today after ruling that stabbing someone is fine provided you are blonde, twenty four, have a posh name, great...
Aung San Suu Kyi surrenders Freedom of Dublin refusing to share the honour with...
Burmese leader Aung San Suu Kyi has given up her Freedom of the city of Dublin in protest at sharing the distinction with Bono,...
Donald Trump autobiography ‘My Struggle’ set for December release
A spokesman for Donald Trump has announced that the eagerly anticipated Trump autobiography is set for release in early December just in time for...
Middle-class mums save planet by driving to Waitrose in massive Range Rovers to buy...
Middle class mums all over the Home Counties are being credited with a reversal to the effects of Global Warming after tens of thousands...
Panicked London train commuters force open doors and flee onto tracks after friendly northerner...
London commuters forced open the doors of a packed rush hour tube train yesterday bringing the train to a complete standstill and causing power...
Trump’s cognitive ability is normal, says White House vet
WASHINGTON: The actual real-life US President Donald Trump has achieved a normal score on a cognitive exam and is in excellent fettle, although he...
