Christmas ruined as Santa fails CRB check
Christmas may be cancelled as Santa has failed to get his CRB check renewed.
The revelation came last night when a Government Spokesperson said, "Santa...
Prince Philip deemed fit to work after ATOS work capability assessment
Prince Philip has today gone under the knife for surgery on his dodgy hip.
However 30 minutes later he was deemed fit to work in an...
After success with beavers in Scotland, trains to be reintroduced in South of England
Following the success of the reintroduction of beavers to Scotland, experts are planning to repeat the experiment with the rare and previously thought extinct...
Wayne Rooney to be donated to Beijing zoo footballer breeding program
Manchester United have announced that they are donating the footballer Wayne Rooney to Beijing zoo.
The footballer who has been increasingly marginalised this season will...
Conservative Christmas Party cancelled after failing to negotiate piss up deal with brewery
There was despair throughout the Conservative Party today after government officials announced that the annual Christmas do has been cancelled.
The news comes after many...
Satire Aid has bought 3,500 presents worth more than £31,000!
A quick Satire Aid update for you. The amazing readers of The Rochdale Herald, NewsThump, Tuckered, U Ok Hun and Angry People in Local...
Packham challenges Attenborough in bid to become BBC Natural History Unit alpha male
Chris Packham has challenged Sir David Attenborough in a bid to become the BBC Natural History Unit's alpha male.
In a display that witnesses have...
There was nothing to tip us off about that bloke who bought 33 guns...
The FBI have reiterated that there were absolutely no clues that a bloke who bought thirty three semi-automatic rifles in one year might have...
You don’t know what love is ’til you hold your baby for the first...
Forget looking into your bride's eyes on your wedding day, you don't know what love is until you become a parent and hold your...
Meet the UK’s First Islamic Lollipop Lady… And it’s not what you think
Meet veteran lollipop lady Gillian Duffy. Gillian has become an institution in Rochdale and one of the country’s most decorated and experienced lollipop ladies. For more than 30 years she has worked for the council escorting children across the road and now she has a new honour, she is the UK’s first Sharia Law compliant lollipop lady
SHOCK as England fans vote 52 to 48 to LEAVE the World Cup
There is widespread shock around England today after the English voting public voted 52% to 48% for the England football team to leave the...
What do you mean bride’s father pays? Asks Meghan Markle’s father before heart attack
It's been suggested that Meghan Markle's dad had a heart attack shortly after being told that the brides father should pay for his daughters...
Shop selling stuff people don’t buy goes into administration, again
People in Rochdale have been speaking of the shock at discovering HMV has collapsed again. Many thought it had gone bust years ago.
Stan...
The NRA are a bunch of fucking arseholes and every single member has the...
But ma guns.
A survey in 2013 found that the United States had 88.9 firearms for every 100 people. More than Yemen, Mexico, Pakistan and...
Next Call of Duty to be set on Oxford Street during Black Friday sales
The team behind the bewilderingly popular series of computer games Call of Duty has revealed that the next instalment of the franchise will be...
Mixed feelings for Tommy Robinson supporters as bloke called Ali puts England into semi...
Ruddy faced racists up and down the country are said to have mixed feelings about England getting through to the World Cup Semi Finals...
