Kardashian

Aleppo Children launch crowdfunding campaign to replace Kim Kardashian jewellery

0
Children in Aleppo have called for an official Day of Mourning as they grieve in solidarity with the Kardashian family for the loss of...
Sturgeon

Will of the Scottish People Revealed to be Sturgeon’s Imaginary Friend

10
An SNP insider has revealed that Nicola Sturgeon's repeated use of the phrase 'Will of the Scottish People' is actually a reference to her...

ISIS and UN unite to condemn So-Called Yodel Customer Services for crimes against humanity

8
ISIS and all the member states of the United Nations have broadly condemned the British parcel delivery firm and courier service Yodel for crimes against humanity.

Weight lifting record smashed at Vegan Olympics as competitor lifts his arms above head

0
Records have been tumbling all week at the very first running of The Vegan Olympics taking place in Turkey. The first big record smashed was...

KFC chicken shortage averted with introduction of all new recipe

0
KFC lovers around the country are thrilled that their local branches are reopening with an all new menu. Chiefs at the multi-national fast-food chain have...
Corbyn Glastonbury

Jeremy Corbyn announces plans to nationalise the Glastonbury Music Festival

23
Standing on the Pyramid stage at Glastonbury, Jeremy Corbyn had a Eureka moment. "If all these bloody people can afford to come here at these...
Satire Aid

Satire Aid 2018 total is 1,600 presents worth £15,200 so far

0
You guys are amazing! As you may know we are running our second annual Secret Santa to buy gifts for children who otherwise wouldn't...
Jeremy Corbyn

Jeremy Corbyn demands General Election so voters can choose between Brexit or Brexit

0
Jeremy Corbyn has demanded that the Government call a General Election in order that the public can choose between his insane version of Brexit...
Gaza

Israel celebrates Eurovision win by bombing Gaza strip

Israel has celebrated winning the Eurovision song contest with a massive aerial bombardment of the Gaza Strip and shooting dead some Palestinian civilians. Nine Palestinian...

Passengers of runaway train have pointless argument over who should pretend they’re driving

0
May means May Passengers on the 11:12 Eurostar return to Britain have had a pointless argument over who is driving.  The train, which is rapidly...
Wayne La Pierre

Only a good guy with a knife can stop a bad guy with a...

0
The Head of the National Cutlery Association, Wayne La Cuillère, has lashed out at Donald Trump on Twitter this afternoon, after the US President...
Christmas Morning

Big Fat Secret Santa Update – 3,001 Christmas Presents worth £24,522.45 for kids in...

0
I had the privilege of a very happy childhood in a prosperous and loving home.  My earliest memories are of Christmas. I remember the excitement...

First shipment of thoughts and prayers for mass shooting victims arrive in California

0
It's all better in California now after a much needed vital shipment of thoughts and prayers arrived in Gilroy following today's mass shooting. "Yeah, we're...
Fidget Spinners

Fidget Spinners useful to distract children from the bleak reality of future under Conservatives

4
The latest craze sweeping the nation and captivating kids of all ages is the fidget spinner. Originally designed to aid development, coordination, dexterity and to...

New royal baby to be called Mohammed and raised gender neutral

0
The Duchess of Sussex Megan Markle has today given birth to a healthy child after a quick labour. Prince Harry is reported as delighted, as...
Garda

Emergency services called after Bob Geldof disappears up his own arse

0
Two fire engines along with police and ambulance crews were called to the centre of Dublin after reports came in that a man had...

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