Judge insists stabbing people is fine provided you’re rich and pretty

65
A Judge set a legal precedent today after ruling that stabbing someone is fine provided you are blonde, twenty four, have a posh name, great...
Mariah Carey

Mariah Carey records shock cover of Dead Kennedy’s ‘Nazi Punks Fuck Off’ in support...

1
Born again Christian pop singer and self styled "voice of the MTV generation" Mariah Carey, has sent shock waves through tin pan alley with...

Weight lifting record smashed at Vegan Olympics as competitor lifts his arms above head

0
Records have been tumbling all week at the very first running of The Vegan Olympics taking place in Turkey. The first big record smashed was...
Brian

Corbyn confirmed as ‘not Messiah, but a very naughty boy’

19
In a shock revelation today, it has been confirmed that the Labour leader and General Election candidate Jeremy Corbyn is not in fact the...

Wayne Rooney to be donated to Beijing zoo footballer breeding program

18
Manchester United have announced that they are donating the footballer Wayne Rooney to Beijing zoo. The footballer who has been increasingly marginalised this season will...

Passengers of runaway train have pointless argument over who should pretend they’re driving

0
May means May Passengers on the 11:12 Eurostar return to Britain have had a pointless argument over who is driving.  The train, which is rapidly...
Pest Control

In London you’re never more than 6ft from a Tory Party leadership candidate, study...

The old adage has it that we're never more than six feet away from a Conservative Party leadership candidate? It's a saying that seems almost...

OUTRAGE as Middle Eastern immigrant cast as Mary in school nativity play

0
A Rochdale primary school has come under fire from parents for casting a 9 year old Palestinian immigrant as the virgin Mary in the...

Daily Mail Readers confused more toddlers haven’t walked alone to UK from Syria

6
Daily Mail Readers are confused more toddlers haven't walked the 2,000 miles to Calais from Syria.
The Queen

Queen announces Prince Harry will become King of the USA following wedding to Meghan...

0
The Queen has announced that she exercise her right to crown Prince Harry and Meghan Markle King and Queen of the USA. During the announcement...
Chris Grayling

Chris Grayling awards ferry contract to Nigerian Prince after receiving fortuitous email

0
Transport Secretary, Chris Grayling has announced that the Government have awarded a contract to provide ferries in the event of a no-deal Brexit. Grayling, the...
Prince Harry

Prince Harry to marry woman he is barely related to

0
Prince Harry is breaking with Royal protocol by marrying an American actress he is barely related to. Kensington Palace are said to be disturbed  saying...
Theresa May

Theresa May to raise voting age to 35

51
Senior Tory advisors, still reeling from Thursday's disastrous election result which provided a hung parliament, are said today to be telling the prime minister Theresa May that something serious has to be done about Britain's broken electoral system.

People who ‘say it like it is’ invariably arseholes groundbreaking research concludes

0
Researchers at Rochdale Community University have concluded that people who "tell it like it is" are invariably complete arseholes. "People who 'tell it like it...
Scientist

Study finds Manchester United fans have smallest penises

70
A new survey of football fans has discovered that Manchester United fans have significantly smaller penises than men who follow other teams. "It's not just...
George Michael

George Michael declined 33rd heart transplant after ‘giving them away’

0
The 80's pop sensation 90's cop bothering loiterer and naughties stoner George Michael has been refused the vital surgery by the NHS. Chief Cardiovascular Surgeon...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts