Prince Charles admits years of talking to vegetables perfect preparation for Trump visit
Prince Charles has confirmed that years of talking to vegetables at Highgrove are the perfect preparation for meeting Donald Trump today.
There's been a...
Stevie Wonder just chooses to be blind, says Kanye West
Batshit crazy US rapper Kanye West has said that the Stevie Wonder’s blindness may be a “choice.”
Christian groups OUTRAGED as Apple replace Christian emojis with Islamojis
The next update to Apple's iOS devices will feature almost 100 Islamic emojis, dubbed Islamojis, replacing almost all Christian iconography available on the iPhone...
Polite man starves to death whilst holding door open for ungrateful strangers
A polite man has starved to death in full view of the public while holding a door open for ungrateful strangers at the John...
Anger as ‘sexy Anjem Choudary’ costume outsells ‘sexy Tommy Robinson’ costume for first time
There were angry reactions across the UK today after it was revealed that a popular 'slutty Tommy Robinson' Halloween costume has been outsold by...
Scientists admit Rees-Mogg is experiment to create the perfect twat
There was mild surprise today, as the lid was blown off a secret program revealing that Tory MP Jacob Rees-Mogg was the product of...
Relief for constipated Dog after long search for the perfect spot leads to Downing...
There was massive relief for the owner of a constipated dog today, as their long search for the perfect dumping spot finally ended in...
Social Services called after parents name baby Nigel
United Kingdom - Reports are emerging that Social Services have stepped in and taken a child into care in Burnley after learning that the...
Daleks to replace ‘exterminate’ slogan with ‘strong and stable’ for 2049 re-election bid.
?Speaking from a neutral zone hyperdock, leader of the New Dalek Empire Theres- Sorry, Dalek Sec, said today that the bid for re-election in...
‘One is married to Philip’ Queen reminds Public who think Trump too racist for...
Over 1.8 million Britons have signed a petition to deny a State Visit to nylon-haired snake-oil salesman and part-time President, Donald Trump.
The petition insists...
White House cleaners resign over ‘I’m a stable genius’ written in sh*t on Oval...
Washington - Reports are coming in today that the White House domestic staff who are responsible for cleaning the Oval Office have resigned over...
Just 126 sleeps until Xmas, says cat
A local cat, Elvis Snoogums, has spoken of his excitement as Christmas gets ever closer.
Speaking exclusively to the Rochdale Herald Elvis told us, "Soon...
Everybody who needs new kidney to get one as fair weather motorcyclists venture outside
The recent heat wave has meant that part-time riders and fair weather Valentino Rossi wannabes are venturing into the garage to wheel out their...
Irish Garda stalk Stephen Hawking in Richard Dawkins blasphemy mix up
After the recent news that Stephen Fry is to be stoned to death by Irish authorities for calling God 'a bit of dick', the Irish...
Wolverhampton and Dudley will declare independence from the West Midlands ‘in a matter of...
Wolverhampton & Dudley will declare independence from the West Midlands in a matter of days, the leader of the autonomous region has told the...
Passengers of runaway train have pointless argument over who should pretend they’re driving
May means May
Passengers on the 11:12 Eurostar return to Britain have had a pointless argument over who is driving. The train, which is rapidly...
