Packham challenges Attenborough in bid to become BBC Natural History Unit alpha male
Chris Packham has challenged Sir David Attenborough in a bid to become the BBC Natural History Unit's alpha male.
In a display that witnesses have...
Tim Nice But Dim appointed UK Ambassador to the EU
In a surprise move Theresa May has appointed Tim Nice But Dim UK Amabassador to the EU.
In absence of dragons, brave knight slays thousands of poor, disabled and homeless
Albion; pleasant, fair and green
In the year of our Lord, 2020
Dragons were few and seldom seen,
Yet poor folk were a plenty
Though dragons were vanquished...
Arsehole starts fight and loses, man he started fight with arrested
A dickhead has died in a karmic avalanche after breaking into the home of a 78 year old.
Woman doesn’t dick about with thermostat
A woman from Rochdale has taken the extraordinary decision to not dick about with the central heating thermostat.
Barbara Dickinson responded to the fact that...
Leaked Bond script just ninety minutes of Idris Elba’s Aston Martin being stopped by...
Latest Bond film, Stop and be Searched, shows James Bond as you have never seen him before
After speculation in recent months that the next...
Monty Python Parrot cleared fit for work by ATOS
The famous Monty Python Parrot was cleared for work this morning following a work capability assessment interview.
Donald Trump autobiography ‘My Struggle’ set for December release
A spokesman for Donald Trump has announced that the eagerly anticipated Trump autobiography is set for release in early December just in time for...
Facebook ruining Christmas for kids in poverty
Facebook in their infinite wisdom have smashed the holy hell out of the reach of comedy pages likes ours, NewsThump, Tuckered and SNN.
Apparently they...
Man with solid gold living room tells government “I don’t pay tax because you...
A man who owns a solid gold living room reportedly told one hundred million of his closest friends that he doesn't pay Tax in...
Wayne Rooney to be donated to Beijing zoo footballer breeding program
Manchester United have announced that they are donating the footballer Wayne Rooney to Beijing zoo.
The footballer who has been increasingly marginalised this season will...
Black Friday riots as Asda sell trolleys for £1
Riot police had to be called to a Rochdale Asda today following a bout of civil disorder. Heavy discounts meant customers could purchase trolleys...
We won, get over it! voted 2017 Phrase of the Year by racists
We won, get over it! has become the new mantra of choice for racists, according to the results of a new survey published today.
The...
Prince Charles admits years of talking to vegetables perfect preparation for Trump visit
Prince Charles has confirmed that years of talking to vegetables at Highgrove are the perfect preparation for meeting Donald Trump today.
There's been a...
Daily Mail Readers confused more toddlers haven’t walked alone to UK from Syria
Daily Mail Readers are confused more toddlers haven't walked the 2,000 miles to Calais from Syria.
Christian groups OUTRAGED as Apple replace Christian emojis with Islamojis
The next update to Apple's iOS devices will feature almost 100 Islamic emojis, dubbed Islamojis, replacing almost all Christian iconography available on the iPhone...
