Putin

Vladimir Putin wins Great Russian Bake-off after other contestants fall ill

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Vladimir Putin has won the Russian version of Celebrity Great British Bake-off after all the other contestants sadly died in tragic but mysterious circumstances. Mr...

Susan Boyle to sing Dead Kennedys ‘Too Drunk To F*ck’ at Trump Inauguration

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In a last ditch attempt to find a "celebrity" to perform at Trump's Inauguration Scottish songstress and Britain's Got Talent sensation Susan Boyle (aka...

BBC to launch Strictly Morris Dancing. 

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Due to the success of its Strictly Come Dancing series and it's desperate search to find a Bake Off replacement, the BBC has commissioned...
Young Couple

Middle class parents convert to Satanism after local cult school gets glowing Ofsted report

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Local couple Rupert and Penelope Mills have reportedly converted to Satanism in order to get their children into the local cult school after it...
Nigel Farage

If it wasn’t for my £4m house and investment portfolio I’d be practically penniless,...

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Nigel Farage, the former leader of Ukip, has told The Rochdale Herald that if it wasn't for his £4M house, his £2.5M investment portfolio...
Blue Planet

Outrage as BBC confirms NONE of tonight’s Blue Planet II animals will be wearing...

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The BBC has issued an apology after leaked footage of tonight's 'Blue Planet II' revealed that NONE of the animals featured will be wearing a...

Rupert Murdoch still on course to become Britain’s longest-serving Prime Minister

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With only two days of campaigning left before the general election, polling suggests that Rupert Murdoch is still on course to become Britain’s longest-serving...
Prince Harry

Prince Harry to marry woman he is barely related to

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Prince Harry is breaking with Royal protocol by marrying an American actress he is barely related to. Kensington Palace are said to be disturbed  saying...
Ed Sheeran

Night out at Ed Sheeran gig ruined by Ed Sheeran music

A couple has had their night out at an Ed Sheeran gig completely ruined by Ed Sheeran music. Married couple Steve and Barbara Dickinson from...
Shouty man

We won, get over it! voted 2017 Phrase of the Year by racists

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We won, get over it! has become the new mantra of choice for racists, according to the results of a new survey published today. The...

Trump rally cancels book burning as supporters have no books to burn

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Plans for an official book burning at a Trump rally in Bumshart California had to be scrapped yesterday after it emerged Trump supporters in...
snowstorm

Amber Weather Warning follow reports Northerner is thinking about getting big coat out of...

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The Met Office has issued an amber warning for apocalyptic snow and ice overnight after a Northerner was overheard speculating that it might be...
Trump Idiotic

Book criticising Trump to be boycotted by people who have never bought a book.

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There is growing support among Republican voters for a nationwide boycott of the book 'Fire and Fury' which contains several damaging claims about President...
Idris Elba

Leaked Bond script just ninety minutes of Idris Elba’s Aston Martin being stopped by...

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Latest Bond film, Stop and be Searched, shows James Bond as you have never seen him before After speculation in recent months that the next...

Prince Charles admits years of talking to vegetables perfect preparation for Trump visit

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Prince Charles has confirmed that years of talking to vegetables at Highgrove are the perfect preparation for meeting Donald Trump today. There's been a...
Paramedics transporting Nigel Farage to the ambulance

Farage in critical condition after fall at a supporters meeting

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Nigel Farage is in hospital today after coming to the defence of ludicrously abhorrent comments made about women by Donald Trump.

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