In absence of dragons, brave knight slays thousands of poor, disabled and homeless
Albion; pleasant, fair and green
In the year of our Lord, 2020
Dragons were few and seldom seen,
Yet poor folk were a plenty
Though dragons were vanquished...
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I had the privilege of a very happy childhood in a prosperous and loving home.
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Night out at Ed Sheeran gig ruined by Ed Sheeran music
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Jeremy Corbyn branded anti-Semitic after celebrating crucifixion of Jewish man
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Couple still at bottle bank
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Chris Grayling wins Turner Prize for dystopian work “Railway Timetable in May”
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A...
Arsehole starts fight and loses, man he started fight with arrested
A dickhead has died in a karmic avalanche after breaking into the home of a 78 year old.




















































