Donald Trump has a gold leaf living room yet tells the government he doesn't pay tax because you would waste it

Man with solid gold living room tells government “I don’t pay tax because you...

1
A man who owns a solid gold living room reportedly told one hundred million of his closest friends that he doesn't pay Tax in...
Callan

What can we say to Jane other than thank you?

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A week ago today we started a campaign to buy a gift for a child who needs one this Christmas and the generosity we've...

Clock in car mysteriously right again

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There was befuddlement all over the UK this morning after every motorist in the country reported that the clock in the car is mysteriously...
Dominic Raab

Dominic Raab warns against travel to Iran and other Scandinavian countries

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The foreign secretary Dominic Raab has warned British nationals not to travel to Iran or any other Scandinavian countries following last week's US airstrikes...

Brexit Party MEPs accidentally turn to face Mecca during national anthem

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Brexit Party MEPs have apologised to their racists after accidentally turning to face Mecca as the European Parliament returned. "It was an honest mistake and...
oldham

Fears grow for BBC Explorer missing in Oldham

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The alarm was raised today after BBC documentary maker and explorer Professor Robert Falcon failed to emerge from Oldham after missing his rendezvous with...
Tony Blair tattoo

Tony Blair reveals ‘only God can judge me’ tattoo

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Tony Blair has revealed his new tattoo. Mr Blair got the tattoo during a drunken night at Silvio Berlusconi's villa. The tattoo says, "Only...
Mrs Brown's Boys

Mrs Brown’s Boys accused of hiding all their funny jokes in offshore accounts

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Following recent reports that members of the cast of inexplicably popular BBC "comedy" Mrs Brown's Boys have funds stored in offshore tax havens, The...
Asda

Black Friday riots as Asda sell trolleys for £1

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Riot police had to be called to a Rochdale Asda today following a bout of civil disorder. Heavy discounts meant customers could purchase trolleys...
Pot to piss in

Conservatives pledge ‘free pots’ for poor to piss in

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In the latest Tory manifesto promise benefit claimants and people earning less than minimum wage are to be sent a free chamber pot. Current Work and...
Plumber

London’s last affordable plumber shot by poachers

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London's last surviving affordable plumber has been killed by poachers in Clapham, according to a conservation group that protects a dwindling group of reliable...

Rupert Murdoch still on course to become Britain’s longest-serving Prime Minister

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With only two days of campaigning left before the general election, polling suggests that Rupert Murdoch is still on course to become Britain’s longest-serving...
Traffic

Workman spotted doing some work on the £15BN M62 Roadworks

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The bloke who is doing all the work on the £15BN M62 road improvement scheme has been spotted on site for the first time...
Sturgeon

Will of the Scottish People Revealed to be Sturgeon’s Imaginary Friend

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An SNP insider has revealed that Nicola Sturgeon's repeated use of the phrase 'Will of the Scottish People' is actually a reference to her...

Americans horrified to learn what the word ‘amendment’ means

As hillbillies, rednecks and evangelical Christian right wing crackpots continue to celebrate the last thrashings of America's hold on reality with their ongoing support...

Absolute arsehole Winnie Mandela dies aged 81

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An absolute arsehole has died in South Africa aged 81.

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