Kanye West

Fred and Rose distance themselves from Kanye

0
The solicitor for the notorious murderers Fred and Rose West have released a statement saying that Mrs West and her deceased husband are 'in...
Southern Rail

After success with beavers in Scotland, trains to be reintroduced in South of England

16
Following the success of the reintroduction of beavers to Scotland, experts are planning to repeat the experiment with the rare and previously thought extinct...
Prince Harry begging

Prince Harry arrested in Windsor for aggressive begging to pay for wedding

0
Windsor-- Following complaints of aggressive begging on the streets of Windsor today Prince Harry was among the vagrants swept up in a Thames Police...

IKEA announce new post Brexit home-ware range

0
Swedish furniture and home-ware giant IKEA have announced that it plans tolaunch a new range of "post Brexit furniture and home-ware" to suit the...

Many Muslims not rioting in streets

2
The Rochdale Herald learned today that almost two billion Muslims around the world went about their daily business without perpetuating a single crime, let...

Northern woman puts heating on

0
A woman from the North of England has shocked the country by putting the heating on in October. Denise Dufite, originally from the northern town...
Scientists

Obvious Satire Still Confusing Idiots, Say Scientists 

16
Researchers at the esteemed Rochdale Community University have published a study today revealing that fool-proof satire is still not fool-proof.  "We gave some angry morons...
Wayne Rooney

Wayne Rooney moves from second best team in Manchester to second best team in...

0
Thatched-roofed footballer Wayne Rooney was yesterday given away by the second best team in Manchester to the second best team in Liverpool. He moves...
Who Shot JR

Trump to release fresh evidence that Obama shot JR

0
The so-called "President" of the United States has ordered the CIA release all of the files relating to the attempted assassination of Texan oil...
Audi

Sixty grand on four wheel drive for one off drive to work in snow...

0
A man has confirmed that his choice of Audi Quattro was justified by the recent inclement weather. Chris Lupton spent most of the morning in...
Katie Hopkins

VICTORY! I am a racist, not a druggie says Hopkins

0
Katie Hopkins is celebrating her racist and drug-free status tonight, it has been confirmed. Hopkins, 67, made a complaint to the Independent Press Standards Organisation...
Rees Mogg

You lost get over it, Jacob Rees-Mogg told

0
Jacob Rees-Mogg has been told to get over losing the no confidence vote in Theresa May last night. Mr Rees-Mogg heads the European Research Group...

Chris Rea not driving home for Christmas as Teesside enters Tier 3 Covid restrictions

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Chris Rea has been forced to abandon plans to drive home for Christmas after it was announced that Middlesbrough has entered Tier 3 Covid...

Rees-Mogg admits he took snuff at Debutante Ball

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Prominent Conservative backbencher, Jacob Rees-Mogg has admitted to partaking in the eighteenth century pastime of inhaling ground tobacco, otherwise known as snuff. The admission came...
Clubbing

Couple looking forward to annual tedious night out, in dreadful nightclub with hideous people

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A middle aged Rochdale couple are reportedly giddy with excitement about their annual tedious night out in a horrible club with hideous people  tonight. Barbara...
Mike Pence

Jesus definitely said ‘Suffer the little children to come unto me, so I can...

0
The US Vice President, Mike Pence, has told reporters that the Trump administration's policy of keeping child migrants in cages is definitely consistent with the...

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