Christmas Celebrations

The Big Fat Secret Santa – 10,000 presents worth £70,000 for kids in poverty!

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Incredibly our appeal to buy gifts for children in poverty this year has secured more than 10,000 presents worth more than £70,000 in the...

Polite man starves to death whilst holding door open for ungrateful strangers

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A polite man has starved to death in full view of the public while holding a door open for ungrateful strangers at the John...

Brexiteer speaks of shock at discovering Britain is an island

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Brexit Secretary Dominic Raab has been speaking of his discovery that Britain is an island today. Speaking to the media Mr Raaab said, "People have...
Chris Grayling

Chris Grayling awards ferry contract to Nigerian Prince after receiving fortuitous email

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Transport Secretary, Chris Grayling has announced that the Government have awarded a contract to provide ferries in the event of a no-deal Brexit. Grayling, the...
UFO

Aliens land on earth, demand under no circumstances to be taken to our leaders

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It has been confirmed that aliens have landed on earth over the festive period. Their large red craft, powered by nine outlying vaguely reindeer-shaped...
Jeremy Corbyn

Jeremy Corbyn pictured laying wreath with international terrorists, arms dealers and mass murderers

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Jeremy Corbyn is once again under fire after being photographed at a wreath laying event with a bunch of  terrorists, mass murderers, international arms...

Dipshit to argue with Thicko about terrible idea

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A thicko has accepted a dipshit's challenge of a debate on the telly to sort of discuss how best to implement a dreadful idea. The...

Shop selling stuff people don’t buy goes into administration, again

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People in Rochdale have been speaking of the shock at discovering HMV has collapsed again. Many thought it had gone bust years ago. Stan...
Brian Cox

Brian Cox to face Hague war crimes tribunal for 1997 hit Things Can Only...

Brian Cox is due to face a hearing at The Hague this week to face the charge that he is responsible for the deaths of more than one million Iraqis.
Plumber

London’s last affordable plumber shot by poachers

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London's last surviving affordable plumber has been killed by poachers in Clapham, according to a conservation group that protects a dwindling group of reliable...

Absolute arsehole Winnie Mandela dies aged 81

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An absolute arsehole has died in South Africa aged 81.
Punggye-ri

North Korea piccalilli factory in full production – SHOCKING satellite images show

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CHILLING satellite photographs show North Korean chemical factories are manufacturing weapons grade piccalilli in horrifying quantities. Grainy images at first sight lead viewers to think...

Anger as ‘sexy Anjem Choudary’ costume outsells ‘sexy Tommy Robinson’ costume for first time

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There were angry reactions across the UK today after it was revealed that a popular 'slutty Tommy Robinson' Halloween costume has been outsold by...
Flat earth map

Sheffield Council declare majority of citizens think world is flat

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Sheffield Council has been forced to declare their belief in a flat earth after applying the same statistical analysis to a recent on-line poll...
Smiling woman

Woman’s bad mood CURED by random bloke telling her to ‘smile’

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A Rochdale woman has miraculously found the secret to happiness by following the guidance of a male passerby who told her to 'smile, love,...

Man thrown out of vegan cult for wearing donkey jacket

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There was outrage in the Burnley hemp weaving community today after a man was expelled from his local vegetarian cult for wearing a donkey...

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