The US Vice President, Mike Pence, has told reporters that the Trump administration’s policy of keeping child migrants in cages is definitely consistent with the teachings of Jesus Christ.
Speaking at a press conference late last night, Pence defended the practice of separating children from their families at the border and said that it was wholly consistent with Christian values.
“I’d like to remind you all of Matthew 19:14, where Jesus said, ‘Suffer the little children, and forbid them not to come unto to me, so that they can be caged as animals’,” he said, whilst waving a copy of the Bible in his right hand.
Pence rejected suggestions that he was misquoting the verse and then spent several minutes defending the controversial policy, which he claimed was a perfect example of Christian compassion.
“Let us not forget Proverbs 13:24, ‘Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but he who loves them keeps them behind chicken-wire fencing’,” he said, before being taken back to his vivarium in the West Wing to feast on live mice.
The comments drew criticism from some religious commentators, who said that Pence was once again cherry-picking and distorting quotes from the Bible in order to justify his controversial opinions.
“Like a lot of conservatives, Mike Pence’s ‘Christianity’ extends no further than telling people what they can and cannot do with their genitals,” said the Rev. Linda Summers from Rochdale Parish Church.
“There’s nothing remotely Christian about splitting up families and causing pain and anguish to young children, so if you support such a policy then you may want to re-evaluate your life choices.
“As Jesus once said, ‘He who follows me shalt not walk in darkness but will have the light of life, but he who misquotes me to justify their bigotry and hatred can go fuck themselves’.”