A Bloke with shaved legs and huge collection of children’s toys denies mid-life crisis.

A forty two year old man from Rochdale who shaves his legs in the bath twice a week and has an enormous collection of expensive children’s toys in his garage has denied allegations that he is having a mid-life crisis.

Steve Dickinson, an accountant from Middleton, has told friends and family that he is not having a mid-life crisis and that it is “completely normal” to spend between £5,000 and £7,000 a year on bicycles.

“It is completely normal to spend between £5,000 and £7,000 a year on bicycles. I don’t care what anybody says.” Steve Dickinson told The Rochdale Herald Mid-Life Crisis Correspondent.

“And what’s weird about shaving my legs? Not having hairy legs makes me go faster on my expensive bicycles.”

Mr Dickinson has spent almost £35,000 on carbon fibre bicycles and skin-tight accessories since 2015 after his mate Dave asked him he fancied going for a ride on a Sunday afternoon.

“It was a like a light-bulb going off. It’s what I was born to do.” He continued. “I’m planning to quit my job next year and win the Tour de France, I just need to lose four stone and buy a fast enough bike and I’m a sure thing.”

Steve’s long suffering wife Barbara joined the conversation saying;

“Anything that gets him out of the bloody house is fine by me.”

A survey of everybody who isn’t a cyclist has revealed everybody thinks they look a bunch of utter and complete wallies.

Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.