Sajid Javid has accidentally deported himself to Pakistan.

A Home Office spokesman said, “Mr Javid has said that a hard Brexit is a good thing as it means a more robust immigration policy can be implemented once we’re outside the EU. He’s proposed a new system whereby the focus will be on what skills a person has to offer.”

He continued, “For instance, being a Doctor of something will mean you’ll be granted entry. Being a manufacturing technician in a car plant will not grant entry as there won’t be any car plants.”

“Or any manufacturing at all for that manner. If you’re a doctor of fruit picking you’re going to do particularly well.”

My Javid is thought to have been deported in the early hours of this morning after accidentally signing his own deportation papers.

“Mr Javid has a pretty foreign sounding name to be fair, so you can see how that could happen.” A Party spokesman told The Rochdale Herald.

“He spent the morning splitting up families and deporting all the working age men who have accents or might be a bit brown and possibly got a bit over-enthusiastic and chucked himself out.”

“He could be literally anywhere now.”

Mr Javid was unavailable for comment.

Fact checked by Snopes; Plagiarised by Andrew Neil; Nancy Sinatra's favourite Rochdale satirist; sued by Chris Froome and winner of the 1922 Nobel Prize for Chemistry.* *Not all of these necessarily true.