Riot Police

Police called after man without tattoo spotted in Rochdale town centre

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There was a commotion on Drake Street in Rochdale this afternoon as crowds of people gathered from all corners of the town to gaze...

Rochdale vale terrorised by 1% outlaw motorhome gangs

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Rochdale is in the grips of an outlaw Caravaner gang; who are terrorising wild life, being a public nuisance and brawling with dog walkers...

Men warned not to date clever & pretty girls who might get “a bit...

55
A Judge has warned men that they only have themselves to blame if they date very clever, very pretty girls who are "a bit...
Trump Air Force one

Donald Trump arrives in Germany and says ‘Ich bin ein Binliner’ Berlin agrees

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President Donald Trump landed in Germany Sunday morning to kick off the first leg of his 12-day trip to Europe. Trump held a surprise press...

Kevin the Carrot beheaded by Muslims.

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Popular TV carrot Kevin was among a bag of carrots snatched from the Oldham branch of Aldi by ruthless Muslim gang the 'Iqbal family'. The...

Inner city youths escape prison for dogfighting by wearing red jackets and calling people...

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Inner-city police are warning of the rise of a brutal new "sport" among the working classes, a savage, twisted parody of the fine ancient...
Dog Window

Dog who wanted to go outside immediately wants to come back in

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A dog who has spent the last hour and a half peering longingly through the patio doors at the garden is now peering longingly...
Flat earth map

Sheffield Council declare majority of citizens think world is flat

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Sheffield Council has been forced to declare their belief in a flat earth after applying the same statistical analysis to a recent on-line poll...
FBI

There was nothing to tip us off about that bloke who bought 33 guns...

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The FBI have reiterated that there were absolutely no clues that a bloke who bought thirty three semi-automatic rifles in one year might have...
Woman who put cat in a wheelie bin

Woman who put cat in wheelie bin appointed goodwill ambassador to World Wildlife Fund

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In a controversial move the World Wildlife Fund has appointed that old woman who was filmed putting a cat in a wheelie bin in...
Kuenssberg

Theresa May hires Laura Kuenssberg as political analyst

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Laura Kuenssberg thrilled her BBC colleagues this evening by announcing she was leaving Aunty to work full time for Theresa May as a political...

Stevie Wonder just chooses to be blind, says Kanye West

Batshit crazy US rapper Kanye West has said that the Stevie Wonder’s blindness may be a “choice.”

Cute dog is a savage little shit

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A survey of very cute little dogs has discovered that almost 99.9% of them are in fact savage little bastards. The survey which was carried...

Tommy Robinson thrown out of restaurant after complaining about ‘Allah Cart’ menu

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Tommy Robinson has been thrown out of a restaurant in Oldham after a campaign event today after starting a row with the manager over...
Stonehenge

Druids “fecking knackered” after moving Stonehenge an hour forward

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With the season now officially spring, clocks up and down the nations have been moved forward one hour to adjust to British Summer Time;...

Conservative Christmas Party cancelled after failing to negotiate piss up deal with brewery

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There was despair throughout the Conservative Party today after government officials announced that the annual Christmas do has been cancelled. The news comes after many...

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