FBI

There was nothing to tip us off about that bloke who bought 33 guns...

1
The FBI have reiterated that there were absolutely no clues that a bloke who bought thirty three semi-automatic rifles in one year might have...
Burnley Teenager

Burnley schoolgirl goes whole term without getting pregnant

0
The leader of Burnley council has called for calm today, after it was revealed a Burnley schoolgirl went an entire term without becoming pregnant. Eric...
Annoyed Cat

Dead mouse on kitchen floor is a warning, not a gift

0
The dead animals that the cat has been dragging in from the garden are not gifts, they’re warnings cats have confirmed. Fluffles the cat, from...
Burkina

Outrage as women flout Burkini ban on Rochdale beach

110
Police were called yesterday afternoon after a large group of women were caught flouting the controversial "Burkini Ban" on Rochdale's world famous Stansfield Beach. Members...

Wales celebrates after spectacular 2016 Darwin Award victory

15
The population of Wales has been awarded a collective 2016 Darwin Award for its staggering act of self immolation in last year's referendum on...
Trump Air Force one

Former military cadet fulfils lifelong ambition to visit Vietnam despite agonisingly debilitating bonespurs

0
A former military cadet has finally fulfilled his dream to visit Vietnam despite suffering from debilitating bonespurs. The man, now in his seventies, is said...
Elmer Fudd

Elmer Fudd resigns as Home Secretary

0
The Home Secretary Elmer Fudd has resigned, Downing Street has said. Mr Fudd, was due to make a Commons Statement on Monday about the Windrush...
Young Couple

Middle class parents convert to Satanism after local cult school gets glowing Ofsted report

0
Local couple Rupert and Penelope Mills have reportedly converted to Satanism in order to get their children into the local cult school after it...
Royal Navy

Royal Navy ordered to kill any f*cking Frenchman who so much as looks at...

19
10 Downing Street has ordered the Royal Navy to kill any f*cking Frenchman who so much as looks at a British fish. The order has...
Who Shot JR

Trump to release fresh evidence that Obama shot JR

0
The so-called "President" of the United States has ordered the CIA release all of the files relating to the attempted assassination of Texan oil...
Farm Animals

Animals vote that MPs can’t feel pain or emotion

0
Following rejection by Parliament of the EU treaty to recognise animals as sentient beings, The Rochdale Herald has learned of a reaction by the...

Scientists confounded after man who left coat on still felt the benefit

0
Scientists around the globe are reeling this afternoon after a Rochdale man who didn’t take his coat off this morning still felt the benefit of wearing a coat when he went outside for a cigarette this afternoon.

Just 126 sleeps until Xmas, says cat

0
A local cat, Elvis Snoogums, has spoken of his excitement as Christmas gets ever closer. Speaking exclusively to the Rochdale Herald Elvis told us, "Soon...
Jeremy Corbyn

Jeremy Corbyn demands General Election so voters can choose between Brexit or Brexit

0
Jeremy Corbyn has demanded that the Government call a General Election in order that the public can choose between his insane version of Brexit...

Southern Rail Timetable wins Man Booker Prize for fiction

0
The visionary author of Southern Rail's timetable, Bernard Jones, has been announced as the seventh winner of the Man Booker International Prize for fiction. The...
Man with mug of tea

Northern man puts teabag directly in bin without putting it in the sink

0
In a world first a northern man has put a teabag into the bin without first putting it into the sink for a few...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts