Sheffield Council declare majority of citizens think world is flat
Sheffield Council has been forced to declare their belief in a flat earth after applying the same statistical analysis to a recent on-line poll...
Leave means Leave says Boris Johnson’s Girlfriend
Boris Johnson's girlfriend has apparently told a befuddled Boris Johnson that leave means leave during a heated row at her flat in the early...
Rochdale man jailed for putting milk in tea before taking out teabag
A Rochdale man has been jailed for seven years for crimes against tea, it has been reported today.
Steve Dickinson, 42 and a bit, was...
Mixed feelings for Tommy Robinson supporters as bloke called Ali puts England into semi...
Ruddy faced racists up and down the country are said to have mixed feelings about England getting through to the World Cup Semi Finals...
Ryanair to charge depressed passengers for emotional baggage
Ryanair have today announced that they will start charging depressed passengers for bringing emotional baggage with them onto their flights.
The budget airline has said...
MP claims he was researching book on whether breasts make noises like clown horns
Leading MP Pete Who speaks out after being named in the Dirty Dossier.
The Member of Parliament for Goveshire West, Pete Who, has given a...
Move to rename Oldham as Oldtofu welcomed by militant vegans
The town of Oldham, Greater Mancashire, has been praised by vegan activists, hipsters and liberal snowflakes alike for taking the progressive move of removing...
Assad regime toppled after receiving strongly worded letter from Jeremy Corbyn
Jeremy Corbyn has issued a strongly worded letter to Bashar al-Assad today. It seems it's had some effect as the regime has been toppled.
Jamal...
Rochdale porn shop raider beaten off with sex toy
In a bizarre turn of events at Rochdale's number one marital aid retailer, Coxfam, a robbery was foiled when a masked intruder was beaten...
Inner city youths escape prison for dogfighting by wearing red jackets and calling people...
Inner-city police are warning of the rise of a brutal new "sport" among the working classes, a savage, twisted parody of the fine ancient...
OUTRAGE as Middle Eastern immigrant cast as Mary in school nativity play
A Rochdale primary school has come under fire from parents for casting a 9 year old Palestinian immigrant as the virgin Mary in the...
US celebrates after number of days so far this year overtakes number of mass...
Americans across America are celebrating the fact that for the first time since the invention of calendars there have been more days in the...
If I’d wanted to smell of shampoo I wouldn’t have rolled in fox shit...
A Labrador Retriever from Rochdale was feeling aggrieved today after her owner callously pulled rank over her choice of fragrance.
Luna Goodgirl, aged 3, told...
Florence and Dougal quit UK over Brexit fears
In a shock move, Magic Roundabout stars Florence and Dougal have announced they are quitting the UK to move back to their native France...
ISIS and UN unite to condemn So-Called Yodel Customer Services for crimes against humanity
ISIS and all the member states of the United Nations have broadly condemned the British parcel delivery firm and courier service Yodel for crimes against humanity.
Glastonbury food vendors uproar after Jeremy Corbyn feeds festival with five loaves and two...
Food vendors at the Glastonbury festival have been in uproar today after Jeremy Corbyn fed the entire site using just five loaves of bread...
