FBI

There was nothing to tip us off about that bloke who bought 33 guns...

1
The FBI have reiterated that there were absolutely no clues that a bloke who bought thirty three semi-automatic rifles in one year might have...

Child taken from mother after being forced to live as a Tory

26
A seven-year-old boy from Rochdale who had been "living life entirely as a Tory" has been taken from his mother's care following a High...
Satire Aid

Satire Aid 2018 total is 1,600 presents worth £15,200 so far

0
You guys are amazing! As you may know we are running our second annual Secret Santa to buy gifts for children who otherwise wouldn't...
Heart Attack

What do you mean bride’s father pays? Asks Meghan Markle’s father before heart attack

0
It's been suggested that Meghan Markle's dad had a heart attack shortly after being told that the brides father should pay for his daughters...

Only one more sleep until Dads start Christmas shopping

0
Dads are said to be giddy with excitement at the news that it's only one more sleep until they can start their Christmas shopping. Dads...

Anger as ‘sexy Anjem Choudary’ costume outsells ‘sexy Tommy Robinson’ costume for first time

0
There were angry reactions across the UK today after it was revealed that a popular 'slutty Tommy Robinson' Halloween costume has been outsold by...
Vicki Pollard

Burnley ‘model’ swaps ‘virginity’ for fish and chip supper

0
A 19-year old 'model from Burnley has spoken of a dream come true after she swapped her 'virginity' for some fish and chips with...

A country full of religious crackpots shouldn’t have nuclear weapons, says country full of...

19
A country full of religious crackpots and nuclear weapons has condemned another country full of religious crackpots for pressing on with their nuclear programme. Hassan...
Wayne La Pierre

Only a good guy with a knife can stop a bad guy with a...

0
The Head of the National Cutlery Association, Wayne La Cuillère, has lashed out at Donald Trump on Twitter this afternoon, after the US President...

Piers Morgan killed in chip pan fire

0
In breaking news Piers Morgan has burned to death in a devasting chip pan fire in a static caravan at Hollingsworth Lake Caravan Park
Wasps

Wasps are little shits, confirm scientists

50
After years of study, it has finally been confirmed by scientists from the Special Training Institute North Grimsby, that wasps serve no useful purpose...

Britain First blame Foreigner for it being Cold As Ice

0
We don't care if you've heard this joke before, because for us, it Feels Like The First Time. Dirty White Boy fan club Britain First...
Farm Animals

Animals vote that MPs can’t feel pain or emotion

0
Following rejection by Parliament of the EU treaty to recognise animals as sentient beings, The Rochdale Herald has learned of a reaction by the...
Michael Gove

Being interviewed about your job is a bit like being raped, says chinless toad

0
The United Kingdom has apologised "unreservedly" for making Michael Gove a Cabinet Minister after he compared being raped to being a bit like being...

Scientists admit Rees-Mogg is experiment to create the perfect twat

0
There was mild surprise today, as the lid was blown off a secret program revealing that Tory MP Jacob Rees-Mogg was the product of...
Heating on

Northern Dad puts heating on

0
Confirmed reports are in that a Northern Dad in Lancashire has put the central heating on. Airports throughout the UK have been closed, all trains...

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