Expenses scandal as Jeremy Corbyn claims £30,000 for Hi5 tuition
Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn has been embarrassed again this week, as he miss-judged yet another high five.
Last week the allotment gardening marxist patted fellow MP...
Husband remembers to put recycling bin out on right day
In a stunning feat of memory and dazzling competence a husband from Rochdale has managed to put the right bin out on the right...
Relief for constipated Dog after long search for the perfect spot leads to Downing...
There was massive relief for the owner of a constipated dog today, as their long search for the perfect dumping spot finally ended in...
Boris Johnson awards Carillion contract to build bridge to France
Boris Johnson's office has revealed that the Government will award the contract to build a bridge between Britain and France to construction company and...
Man thrown out of vegan cult for wearing donkey jacket
There was outrage in the Burnley hemp weaving community today after a man was expelled from his local vegetarian cult for wearing a donkey...
Chris Grayling awards ferry contract to Nigerian Prince after receiving fortuitous email
Transport Secretary, Chris Grayling has announced that the Government have awarded a contract to provide ferries in the event of a no-deal Brexit.
Grayling, the...
Earth isn’t flat, cats would have pushed everything off edge by now if it...
Scientists around the World have finally conceded that the Earth is most probably not a completely flat disc after all.
Research conducted at the University...
Trump wears tinfoil hat to stop Obama hearing his thoughts…
President Donald J. Trump has come up with an ingenious solution to prevent Obama from ‘spying on his thoughts’. He now wears a tinfoil...
White nationalists boycott Black Friday claiming all Fridays matter
A number of white nationalist groups have joined together in a boycott against the post-Thanksgiving consumer event known as Black Friday.
Black Friday has been...
Christmas ruined as Santa fails CRB check
Christmas may be cancelled as Santa has failed to get his CRB check renewed.
The revelation came last night when a Government Spokesperson said, "Santa...
Earthquake rescue workers reassured that Wales is fine, it’s supposed to look like that
Earthquake rescue teams from around the globe were told to stand down today after they descended en masse on Neath in South Wales following...
Sex education in primary schools should be banned, says Burnley gran, 19
Sex education has been given the thumbs down by Burnley gran Ellie-Mae-Leigh Horne. 19 year old Ellie-Mae-Leigh, whose eldest daughter Chelsea-Leigh has just given...
ISIS claim responsibility for Conservative Party Conference
The attackers wrote Boris’s jokes, Theresa May’s speech and arranged for all the letters to fall off the wall behind the Prime Minister during her main conference address in an audacious display of comic timing.
Northern Dad puts heating on
Confirmed reports are in that a Northern Dad in Lancashire has put the central heating on.
Airports throughout the UK have been closed, all trains...
Wayne Rooney to be donated to Beijing zoo footballer breeding program
Manchester United have announced that they are donating the footballer Wayne Rooney to Beijing zoo.
The footballer who has been increasingly marginalised this season will...
Fred and Rose distance themselves from Kanye
The solicitor for the notorious murderers Fred and Rose West have released a statement saying that Mrs West and her deceased husband are 'in...
