In absence of dragons, brave knight slays thousands of poor, disabled and homeless
Albion; pleasant, fair and green
In the year of our Lord, 2020
Dragons were few and seldom seen,
Yet poor folk were a plenty
Though dragons were vanquished...
World in shock as man with history of taking steroids runs faster than bloke...
The World is in shock today after a bloke who has a well documented history of taking performance enhancing drugs ran a bit faster than a bloke who doesn't.
‘On The Buses’ Star In 70’s Sex Shocker
In light of the recent revelations surrounding the scandalous sexual exploits of certain Hollywood actors and some of our own MP’s, one of Britain’s...
Theresa May to raise voting age to 35
Senior Tory advisors, still reeling from Thursday's disastrous election result which provided a hung parliament, are said today to be telling the prime minister Theresa May that something serious has to be done about Britain's broken electoral system.
Saudi woman celebrates being able to drive to friends stoning
A Saudi woman has been telling the Rochdale Herald how she's looking forward to being allowed to drive to the stoning of a woman...
Home Office confirms that new blue UK passports will be HALAL-CERTIFIED
The Home Office has confirmed that the United Kingdom's post-Brexit passport covers will be halal-certified.
The iconic Royal blue cover, which is due to be...
UK’s youngest Brexit voter has died aged seventy three
We met in a small cafe in Westminster. A reporter for the Rochdale Herald and Britain's youngest Brexit supporter. Shining another glass to make...
Outrage as BBC confirms NONE of tonight’s Blue Planet II animals will be wearing...
The BBC has issued an apology after leaked footage of tonight's 'Blue Planet II' revealed that NONE of the animals featured will be wearing a...
Britain First’s Paul Golding and the EDL’s Ian Crossland announce engagement
Shock today as Britain First leader Paul Golding announced he is to marry EDL chief, Ian Crossland.
Although the pair often claim to support gay...
Dozens dead after Chris Grayling attempts to make cup of tea
News is coming in this morning of a terrible incident in central London that has left dozens dead and many hundreds horribly wounded.
Eyewitnesses have...
Assad regime toppled after receiving strongly worded letter from Jeremy Corbyn
Jeremy Corbyn has issued a strongly worded letter to Bashar al-Assad today. It seems it's had some effect as the regime has been toppled.
Jamal...
You had some very fine people on both sides, Trump tells D-Day veterans
Donald Trump has told D-Day veterans that there were very fine people on both sides of the battles to control the Normandy Beaches during...
Jeremy Corbyn is always right and his wee wee smells of rainbows
In the wake of this week's political posturing a spokesman for Momentum and a journalist for the Canary has revealed that Jeremy Corbyn is...
Fred and Rose distance themselves from Kanye
The solicitor for the notorious murderers Fred and Rose West have released a statement saying that Mrs West and her deceased husband are 'in...
Fears grow for BBC Explorer missing in Oldham
The alarm was raised today after BBC documentary maker and explorer Professor Robert Falcon failed to emerge from Oldham after missing his rendezvous with...
Meet the UK’s First Islamic Lollipop Lady… And it’s not what you think
Meet veteran lollipop lady Gillian Duffy. Gillian has become an institution in Rochdale and one of the country’s most decorated and experienced lollipop ladies. For more than 30 years she has worked for the council escorting children across the road and now she has a new honour, she is the UK’s first Sharia Law compliant lollipop lady
