Amber Rudd

Amber Rudd launches Hate Thy Neighbour initiative

25
Amber Rudd announced plans today to crack down on the current outbreak of human compassion sweeping the country. Compassion has been on the rise recently...
Melania Trump

Melania did not have sex with horrible old men for money admits Daily Mail

0
The Daily Mail have gone on the record today to say that Melania Trump did not and never has had sex with any horrible...
Knobhead

Knobhead calls knobhead knobhead

0
Renowned knobhead Liam Gallagher has snubbed famous knobhead James Corden by refusing to appear on his TV show Carpool Karaoke. Gallagher, who is currently touring...
Bob Marley

Bob Marley suspended from Labour Party over claims iron lions are from Zion

0
Scandal has hit the beleaguered former political party, the Labour Party, this morning after a kangaroo court voted to suspend the dead Rastafarian singer...

Trump rally cancels book burning as supporters have no books to burn

12
Plans for an official book burning at a Trump rally in Bumshart California had to be scrapped yesterday after it emerged Trump supporters in...
Flat earth map

Sheffield Council declare majority of citizens think world is flat

0
Sheffield Council has been forced to declare their belief in a flat earth after applying the same statistical analysis to a recent on-line poll...

Wanker punches Dickhead. Dickhead in serious condition

2
News is emerging from Belgium today that a wanker has punched a dickhead and the dickhead is in a serious condition with a bleed on the brain.

Jeremy Corbyn in Right Wing Political Correctness Storm

0
The political right, bigots, misogynists, anti-feminists and liars across the country united yesterday, to fully embrace political correctness, after the opposition leader was accused...

Donald Trump tweets that he was going to be asked to marry Harry but...

0
Donald Trump has sensationally tweeted that Prince Harry was going to ask him to marry him. POTUS explained on social media yesterday that he...

Paul Nutall announces he’s going to be the next Doctor

0
Early last week news broke that Peter Capaldi will stepping down from the iconic role after this year's Christmas special. Speculation has been rife as...
Wayne Rooney

Wayne Rooney moves from second best team in Manchester to second best team in...

0
Thatched-roofed footballer Wayne Rooney was yesterday given away by the second best team in Manchester to the second best team in Liverpool. He moves...
Annoyed Cat

Dead mouse on kitchen floor is a warning, not a gift

0
The dead animals that the cat has been dragging in from the garden are not gifts, they’re warnings cats have confirmed. Fluffles the cat, from...

Man kills woman

0
A woman has been killed by a man, make sure you use passive voice, the article is going to be about the woman This article...
Empty bus seats

Thirty nine bus seats arrested in counter-terrorism operation

30
In what police are describing as a “significant” counter-terrorism operation, thirty nine bus seats were arrested today on suspicion of being involved in jihadist...
Prince Philip

Prince Philip deemed fit to work after ATOS work capability assessment

18
Prince Philip has today gone under the knife for surgery on his dodgy hip. However 30 minutes later he was deemed fit to work in an...
Mariah Carey

Mariah Carey records shock cover of Dead Kennedy’s ‘Nazi Punks Fuck Off’ in support...

1
Born again Christian pop singer and self styled "voice of the MTV generation" Mariah Carey, has sent shock waves through tin pan alley with...

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