Big Ben

Big Ben to be renamed Massive Mohammed from 2018

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Equality campaigners have welcomed plans to rename Big Ben as part of a project celebrating London's rich cultural heritage. The famous landmark, which is due to undergo extensive refurbishment next week, is to be called...
Tommy Robinson

Muslims should respect our laws, says racist in prison for breaking our laws

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Today crowds of nearly a few dozen have gathered outside Downing Street armed with Placards stating "free are Tommy" and two Netto bags full of premium strength lager. They are protesting the imprisonment of Luton...
Theresa May

Theresa May accused of muttering in parliament “fuck em, let em starve”

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Theresa May was accused of muttering the words "fuck em, let em starve" in parliament on Wednesday. May appeared to mutter the words during a debate in the Commons about whether or not orphaned children...
Trump Child

Department of Justice confirms that Trump will be tried as an adult

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The Department of Justice has confirmed that if and when Donald Trump is indicted for colluding with Russia during the 2016 Presidential election he will have to stand trial as an adult. The U.S. Department...

First shipment of thoughts and prayers for mass shooting victims arrive in California

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It's all better in California now after a much needed vital shipment of thoughts and prayers arrived in Gilroy following today's mass shooting. "Yeah, we're crating up the thoughts and prayers from the Jacksonville shooting...

Trump adds Germany to Travel Ban after hostages taken at Nakatomi Tower

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Donald Trump has added the populations of Germany and Austria to his controversial travel ban after hearing reports that terrorists have taken hostages at the Nakatomi Tower in Los Angeles, again.
Francis Underwood

Fictional President held to higher standard than actual President

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Fictional President of the United States Francis Underwood has been obliged to step down this week following allegations of historical sexual harassment. Whilst his Presidency has been marred by a number of controversies, FPOTUS Underwood...

Middle-class mums save planet by driving to Waitrose in massive Range Rovers to buy...

Middle class mums all over the Home Counties are being credited with a reversal to the effects of Global Warming after tens of thousands of them drove enormous Range Rovers to their...

No arrests made as gang of white people chase group of black men through...

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Reports are coming in of a civil disturbance in London which has seen a mob of almost 40,000 white people chase a small group of black men through central London.
Demolition

Council demolish victim’s home to erect memorial garden for dead burglar

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In a surprise move today London councillors have confirmed plans to demolish the home of 78 year old Mr Osborn-Brooks and in its place start construction of a memorial garden to the dead burglar,...

Colonists on LV-426 excited after discovery of Easter eggs

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Colonists on the Terraforming, research and mining colony Hadley's Hope have discovered what appears to be a large amount of Easter eggs in a strange abandoned space ship. Prospectors Russ and Anne Jordan made the...

Josef Fritzl gets Knighthood in New Years honours

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Austrian incest enthusiast, Josef Fritzl has been awarded a Knighthood in the New Years honours list. The list, released today recognises a range of people from a wide range of areas across...

Susan Boyle to sing Dead Kennedys ‘Too Drunk To F*ck’ at Trump Inauguration

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In a last ditch attempt to find a "celebrity" to perform at Trump's Inauguration Scottish songstress and Britain's Got Talent sensation Susan Boyle (aka 'The Hairy Cornflake') has been approached by the president-soon-to-be's office...
Paramedics transporting Nigel Farage to the ambulance

Farage in critical condition after fall at a supporters meeting

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Nigel Farage is in hospital today after coming to the defence of ludicrously abhorrent comments made about women by Donald Trump.

Melania Trump faces criticism for wearing “Exterminate” t-shirt to Holocaust Memorial

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Melania Trump is faces yet more criticism today after wearing a Dalek’s t-shirt during a visit to the Holocaust Memorial in Berlin.

Unemployed mother on benefits knocked up AGAIN

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It's all over social media that an unemployed mother on state benefits, who already has two kids, is knocked up yet again.

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