Unemployed mother on benefits knocked up AGAIN

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It's all over social media that an unemployed mother on state benefits, who already has two kids, is knocked up yet again.
Michael Gove

Impossible to see photo of Michael Gove and not say ‘Twat’ research proves

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Researchers at Rochdale Community University have proven conclusively that is impossible to look at a photograph of Michael Gove with a muttering the word "twat".

People who make flammable models to face higher standard of justice than people who...

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The people who burnt a model of the Grenfell tower on bonfire should face a much higher standard of justice than the people who made the flats into a tinderbox in the first place...
London Underground Train

Panicked London train commuters force open doors and flee onto tracks after friendly northerner...

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London commuters forced open the doors of a packed rush hour tube train yesterday bringing the train to a complete standstill and causing power to the tracks to be cut off. Witnesses caught up...
Jeremy Corbyn

Jeremy Corbyn pictured laying wreath with international terrorists, arms dealers and mass murderers

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Jeremy Corbyn is once again under fire after being photographed at a wreath laying event with a bunch of  terrorists, mass murderers, international arms dealers and baby killers. The Labour leader had been asked why...

Rochdale man jailed for putting milk in tea before taking out teabag

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A Rochdale man has been jailed for seven years for crimes against tea, it has been reported today. Steve Dickinson, 42 and a bit, was sentenced this morning after being found guilty of sixteen thousand...

Man kills woman

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A woman has been killed by a man, make sure you use passive voice, the article is going to be about the woman This article is for the use of tabloid writers when a woman...
Buzz Aldrin

Buzz Aldrin says not punching Trump is his greatest achievement

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Buzz Aldrin has suprised many today by saying that his greatest achievement is not punching Donald Trump. Mr Aldrin attended an event where the President gave a rambling word salad of a speech. Mr Aldrin...

Tommy Robinson thrown out of restaurant after complaining about ‘Allah Cart’ menu

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Tommy Robinson has been thrown out of a restaurant in Oldham after a campaign event today after starting a row with the manager over their 'Allah Cart' menu. MEP candidate and part time mortgage fraudster,...

Gassing orphans is wrong says woman who prefers to starve them

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Theresa May's regime has roundly condemned the Assad Regime's actions in Syria by saying it was wrong to use Sarin Gas on orphaned children. "It was just wrong to use Sarin Gas to kill orphaned...

Outrage after child attends school Halloween party dressed as a MOSQUE

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A group of parents is said to have been left "absolutely fummin (sic)" after a child turned up to a local Halloween party dressed as a mosque. The child, understood to be a seven year-old...

Dog shit bin in Rochdale park to be named after Nigel Farage in New...

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A new dog waste bin being installed in Mandale Park is to be named after Nigel Farage, according to plans allegedly leaked by a Rochdale council employee. The 'Nigel Farage Dog Waste Bin' will be...
Old Graduate

University of Life under Ofsted investigation after turning out complete fucking idiots

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Chief Ofsted inspector Mark Teachers announced today he would be launching a special investigation into the University of Life, based in Thanet. A lower-level investigation is planned in Swanley's School of Hard Knocks. Mr Teachers...
Queen and Philip

The Queen asks Merkel to form a government

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Her Majesty the Queen is expected to travel to Berlin later today to ask German Chancellor Angela Merkel to form a government for the United Kingdom. This morning the royal spokesperson stated, "With such a pathetic...
Dominic Raab

Dominic Raab warns against travel to Iran and other Scandinavian countries

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The foreign secretary Dominic Raab has warned British nationals not to travel to Iran or any other Scandinavian countries following last week's US airstrikes on the capital of Bulgaria, Baghdad. "I'm not sure...
Alanis Morisette

Alanis Morisette to rename 1996 hit Inconvenient after learning what Ironic means

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Canadian rock songstress Alanis Morisette has re-written her 1996 classic single "Ironic" after finally meeting a British person who filled her in on the meaning of the word irony.

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