A woman has been killed by a man, make sure you use passive voice, the article is going to be about the woman

This article is for the use of tabloid writers when a woman has been killed by a man.

The woman, who was a backpacker/student/sex worker [Ed: don’t use prostitute, the feminists will complain] was found by their host/roommate/someone walking their dog.

Initial toxicology reports are inconclusive/show she had been drinking/taking drugs/probably both.  She had been seen out with friends/walking alone, and was wearing a short skirt/boots/a strappy top/typical going out clothes for a woman her age, if you know what we’re saying.

Her mum/dad/brother/sister/colleague, said [name] is normally so sensible, we can’t believe she would have taken the risk of going out one night/walking down the street/taking a cab/just fucking existing as a woman.

The man is thought to be black/Asian [Ed: only use race if they aren’t white] and is heavy set/a weasly little fucker, and that’s about all we have to say for him unless he’s been found.  He is thought to be mentally ill or have some other excuse for it not being typical male behaviour.

If the man has been found, then he is a champion swimmer/talented singer/had a bright future ahead of him/apple of his dear mother’s eye.  The woman on the other hand would never normally do something like this, but let’s be honest she’s a young un and probably a bit of a skank. To round it off, make sure you get some pictures of the mum looking sad but a bit slutty like the dead girl took after her.

No need for anything much about the fella, remember, he’s not the one that’s dead, he’s not the story.

Oh sorry, are you reading the Herald for jokes – sorry there aren’t any, if you want a joke, try the coverage in the normal media of, well, any murdered girl really.