Theresa May was accused of muttering the words “fuck em, let em starve” in parliament on Wednesday.
May appeared to mutter the words during a debate in the Commons about whether or not orphaned children or homeless people should be considered to be disposal livestock or human beings.
A number of Labour MP’s asked the Speaker of the House and the nation’s leading wedgie enthusiast, John Bercow, to intervene, but he refused, saying he hadn’t heard May utter the phrase.
“Theresa May absolutely didn’t say fuck em, let em starve.” A spokesman for the Conservatives told The Rochdale Herald.
“Why would she want orphaned children to starve when we can use their tiny fingers to polish the inside of gun casings or while there are still chimneys to clean.”
“As for the homeless, nobody wants to see them starve, you get barely any Soylent Green out of a skinny corpse. Much better to euthanise them when they’re nice and plump.”
“It’s preposterous allegation.”