A German national has plummeted to his death after a Christmas party at the Nakatomi Tower in Los Angeles got a little bit out of hand.

Herr Gruber was pronounced dead at the scene after falling out of a 32nd floor window of the skyscraper. Paramedics at the scene spent a good 45 minutes looking for all of the bits of Herr Gruber but conceded that they had only managed to find most of him.

The circumstances in which he fell from a thirty second floor window at around 4am is being investigated by police. Local reports said that he had invited himself to the party at the US offices of the Japanese conglomerate, the Nakatomi Corporation.

Mr Takagi, the Chairman of the Nakatomi Investment Group, was unavailable for comment though his operations director, Ms Holly Genero, was heard asking paramedics and policeman at the scene if anybody “had seen her watch.”

A partygoer said: “It was a pretty good party. The firework display was amazing and loads of people were taking drugs and shagging each other.”

“I’m amazed only twenty people were killed. Small price to pay for a good knees up.”

Investigators said afterwards they believed he might have been trying to steal $640 million dollars worth of negotiable bearer bonds when he slipped and fell out of a window.

Unsurprisingly the LA police department shot somebody on the steps of the Nakatomi building after the party was over, though this has largely gone unreported as nobody believes a black cop could have shot a white man in Los Angeles.

Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.