Windsor– Following complaints of aggressive begging on the streets of Windsor today Prince Harry was among the vagrants swept up in a Thames Police sting operation.

The Prince was amongst dozens of beggars on the streets of Windsor who were out in force trying to raise money to feed their crack cocaine, polo and American actress habits.

“Harry was arrested after asking a little old lady if she wouldn’t mind chipping in on his wedding in May and sparing a few quid because he’d lost his wallet and didn’t have enough on him to get the bus home.” An officer for Thames Valley Police told The Rochdale Herald.

“Apparently he got a bit arsey when she offered to buy him a sandwich and a drink from Pret-a-Manger rather than give him money.”

“The people of Windsor should be free to go shopping in Molton Brown for fifty quid candles without being harassed by royalty and vagrants asking for bloody handouts like food for their Corgis, newspapers to stuff down their trousers, heroin and money towards their honeymoons.”

The Royal veteran has hit hard times since leaving the Army and has been unable to secure work.

“Harry has had to take up panhandling in order to make ends meet.” A spokesman for Kensington Palace told The Rochdale Herald. “Weddings are bloody expensive and divorces even more so. Please give generously.”

The Prince is currently out on bail and is expected to take up his usual pitch selling The Big Issue on Windsor High Street in the morning.

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Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.