Stevie Wonder just chooses to be blind, says Kanye West
Batshit crazy US rapper Kanye West has said that the Stevie Wonder’s blindness may be a “choice.”
Theresa May to raise voting age to 35
Senior Tory advisors, still reeling from Thursday's disastrous election result which provided a hung parliament, are said today to be telling the prime minister Theresa May that something serious has to be done about Britain's broken electoral system.
Scotland’s oldest man dies aged 35
Tributes have been paid to Gregor McGregor, Scotland's oldest man who died today aged 35.
An angry man with an impenetrable accent told us, "It's...
Archbishop Welby kicks shit out of Nigel Farage following Twitter spat
Archbishop Welby is currently helping police with their enquiries in Westminster after allegedly kerb stomping Nigel Farage.
Jeremy Corbyn in Right Wing Political Correctness Storm
The political right, bigots, misogynists, anti-feminists and liars across the country united yesterday, to fully embrace political correctness, after the opposition leader was accused...
Emergency ‘Thoughts and Prayers’ cabinets to be installed in every American classroom by 2020
The US Department of Education has revealed plans to install emergency 'Thoughts and Prayers' cabinets in every school classroom by the year 2020.
The announcement...
Bloke with shaved legs and huge collection of children’s toys denies mid-life crisis
A Bloke with shaved legs and huge collection of children's toys denies mid-life crisis.
A forty two year old man from Rochdale who shaves his...
JK Rowling dedicates next book Harry Potter and The Dead Girl’s Voicemail to Piers...
JK Rowling has dedicated the next instalment of the global phenomenon Harry Potter to Piers Morgan.
Nuclear holocaust averted as Southern Rail selected to deliver US missile attack
A spokesman for Southern Rail confirmed to the Rochdale Herald that in view of the anticipated two day delay the four minute warning given in advance of nuclear attacks would consequently be extended to 2,880 minutes.
Mixed feelings for Tommy Robinson supporters as bloke called Ali puts England into semi...
Ruddy faced racists up and down the country are said to have mixed feelings about England getting through to the World Cup Semi Finals...
Woman who put cat in wheelie bin appointed goodwill ambassador to World Wildlife Fund
In a controversial move the World Wildlife Fund has appointed that old woman who was filmed putting a cat in a wheelie bin in...
Dominic Raab announces sanctions on Isle of Aran
Foreign Secretary, Dominic Raab has announced sanctions on the Isle of Aran. Mr Raaab announced the sanctions during a visit to Blackpool Tower in...
Big Ben to be renamed Massive Mohammed from 2018
Equality campaigners have welcomed plans to rename Big Ben as part of a project celebrating London's rich cultural heritage.
The famous landmark, which is due...
Trump rally cancels book burning as supporters have no books to burn
Plans for an official book burning at a Trump rally in Bumshart California had to be scrapped yesterday after it emerged Trump supporters in...
Prince Charles admits years of talking to vegetables perfect preparation for Trump visit
Prince Charles has confirmed that years of talking to vegetables at Highgrove are the perfect preparation for meeting Donald Trump today.
There's been a...
Dog shit bin in Rochdale park to be named after Nigel Farage in New...
A new dog waste bin being installed in Mandale Park is to be named after Nigel Farage, according to plans allegedly leaked by a...
