Northern supermarket to trial hummus
News is breaking that a well-known northern supermarket is to start selling hummus at some stores at some point in 2021.
It is thought that...
Bloke whose wife said “do what you like” thinks he’s going to get to...
A husband whose wife told him to do whatever he likes is still not aware that he really isn’t going to get to do what he likes.
Israel celebrates Eurovision win by bombing Gaza strip
Israel has celebrated winning the Eurovision song contest with a massive aerial bombardment of the Gaza Strip and shooting dead some Palestinian civilians.
Nine Palestinian...
Christmas ruined as Santa fails CRB check
Christmas may be cancelled as Santa has failed to get his CRB check renewed.
The revelation came last night when a Government Spokesperson said, "Santa...
Night out at Ed Sheeran gig ruined by Ed Sheeran music
A couple has had their night out at an Ed Sheeran gig completely ruined by Ed Sheeran music.
Married couple Steve and Barbara Dickinson from...
Britain First’s Paul Golding to release prison memoir ‘My Struggul’
In tribute to the rabidly anti-Jewish fascist Adolf Hitler, the rabidly anti-Muslim fascist Paul Golding, former leader of Britain First, is doing a sponsored...
Men warned not to date clever & pretty girls who might get “a bit...
A Judge has warned men that they only have themselves to blame if they date very clever, very pretty girls who are "a bit...
I’ve already wrapped all my Christmas presents, say terrifying psychopaths
Terrifying psychopaths around the country have taken time out from planning murders and disembowelling their neighbour's pets to tell The Rochdale Herald that they...
Onlookers stunned as man in Ramones t-shirt successfully names two band members
The patrons and entire staff team at The Reed public house were in shock yesterday, after a man wearing a culturally iconic but no...
Knobhead calls knobhead knobhead
Renowned knobhead Liam Gallagher has snubbed famous knobhead James Corden by refusing to appear on his TV show Carpool Karaoke.
Gallagher, who is currently touring...
Florence and Dougal quit UK over Brexit fears
In a shock move, Magic Roundabout stars Florence and Dougal have announced they are quitting the UK to move back to their native France...
No arrests made as gang of white people chase group of black men through...
Reports are coming in of a civil disturbance in London which has seen a mob of almost 40,000 white people chase a small group...
Local man begins annual quest to find Muslim offended by the word ‘Easter’
Our intrepid reporter Charlie Stuart spends the day with a patriot on a mission.
Trump tells CNN all future press conferences will be held in Saudi Embassy
POTATUS has announced that he will begin to give CNN press conferences in Saudi Embassies from now on.
The announcement comes as his administration complained...
Hunt saboteurs can’t feel pain, government declares
The government has voted to reject a bill that recognises that hunt saboteurs are humans who feel pain and emotion.
Following an incident over the...
Dog shit bin in Rochdale park to be named after Nigel Farage in New...
A new dog waste bin being installed in Mandale Park is to be named after Nigel Farage, according to plans allegedly leaked by a...
