Shop selling stuff people don’t buy goes into administration, again
People in Rochdale have been speaking of the shock at discovering HMV has collapsed again. Many thought it had gone bust years ago.
Stan...
All soldiers know what they are signing up for, that’s why I dodged the...
The West Wing has been forced to defend President Trump against malicious disinformation about his health and state of mind for months.
Allegations about his...
George Michael declined 33rd heart transplant after ‘giving them away’
The 80's pop sensation 90's cop bothering loiterer and naughties stoner George Michael has been refused the vital surgery by the NHS.
Chief Cardiovascular Surgeon...
Boris Johnson awards Carillion contract to build bridge to France
Boris Johnson's office has revealed that the Government will award the contract to build a bridge between Britain and France to construction company and...
Husband remembers to put recycling bin out on right day
In a stunning feat of memory and dazzling competence a husband from Rochdale has managed to put the right bin out on the right...
KFC chicken shortage averted with introduction of all new recipe
KFC lovers around the country are thrilled that their local branches are reopening with an all new menu.
Chiefs at the multi-national fast-food chain have...
Hundreds arrested in dawn raids for not wearing a poppy
More than 300 people have been arrested as part of an operation to prevent people who aren’t wearing a poppy to be seen in public today.
Monty Python Parrot cleared fit for work by ATOS
The famous Monty Python Parrot was cleared for work this morning following a work capability assessment interview.
Boris Johnson looks like a c*nt, say letterboxes
Letterboxes around the UK have stood by their remarks about the Boris Johnson after the Post Office chairman asked them to apologise.
There is broad...
Rochdale man jailed for putting milk in tea before taking out teabag
A Rochdale man has been jailed for seven years for crimes against tea, it has been reported today.
Steve Dickinson, 42 and a bit, was...
Donald Trump autobiography ‘My Struggle’ set for December release
A spokesman for Donald Trump has announced that the eagerly anticipated Trump autobiography is set for release in early December just in time for...
Alanis Morisette to rename 1996 hit Inconvenient after learning what Ironic means
Canadian rock songstress Alanis Morisette has re-written her 1996 classic single "Ironic" after finally meeting a British person who filled her in on the meaning of the word irony.
Jeremy Corbyn rules out coalition with Labour MPs
Jeremy Corbyn took the bold move today to rule out a coalition with SNP, The Greens, The Liberal Democrats and any of the politicians in The Labour Party.
Talking to...
Town centres full of fat topless pricks for some reason
Town centres are chock full of topless, pasty white fat pricks for some reason according to sources.
For some reason thousands upon thousands of fat...
BBC Countryfile Filming Suspended After Presenter Gets Parking Ticket
Filming of cutting edge BBC show Countryfile was dramatically suspended last night after one of the presenters was accused of parking illegally.
Previously well respected...
Tony Montana to become new White House communications director
Tony Montana is set to become White House communications director following the sacking of Anthony Scaramucci today.
Mr Montana was last seen toting M16A1 guns...
