Brian

Corbyn confirmed as ‘not Messiah, but a very naughty boy’

19
In a shock revelation today, it has been confirmed that the Labour leader and General Election candidate Jeremy Corbyn is not in fact the...
Donald Trump

Donald Trump calls for a ban on schools after latest US school shooting

0
So-called 'President' and full-time Twitter troll Donald Trump wants a 'total and complete shutdown' of schools in the US after the Florida School shooting earlier...
FBI

There was nothing to tip us off about that bloke who bought 33 guns...

1
The FBI have reiterated that there were absolutely no clues that a bloke who bought thirty three semi-automatic rifles in one year might have...

Piers Morgan killed in chip pan fire

0
In breaking news Piers Morgan has burned to death in a devasting chip pan fire in a static caravan at Hollingsworth Lake Caravan Park
Rees Mogg

You lost get over it, Jacob Rees-Mogg told

0
Jacob Rees-Mogg has been told to get over losing the no confidence vote in Theresa May last night. Mr Rees-Mogg heads the European Research Group...
Scientist

Study finds Manchester United fans have smallest penises

70
A new survey of football fans has discovered that Manchester United fans have significantly smaller penises than men who follow other teams. "It's not just...
Chris Grayling

Chris Grayling awards ferry contract to Nigerian Prince after receiving fortuitous email

0
Transport Secretary, Chris Grayling has announced that the Government have awarded a contract to provide ferries in the event of a no-deal Brexit. Grayling, the...
@bluebeany

UK Customs replace “Nothing to declare” signs with “Abandon All Hope Ye Who Enter...

0
Following the news that Boris Johnson has been elected Prime Minister UK Customs officials have decided to replace all the 'Nothing to Declare' signs...
Ant and Dec

Ant and Dec to serve 6 months in Wormwood Scrubs together as judge couldn’t...

0
Comedy duo and twin brothers Ant and Dec are to serve a six month sentence together in Wormwood Scrubs prison. The unusual move has come...
Nazi Uniforms

Nazi slammed for organising Conservative Party themed stag do

0
A member of the Nazi Party at the centre of a controversy over a Conservative Party-themed stag do, is to step down as Obergruppenfuhrer...

Scottish man DIES after drinking a glass of WATER

0
The first fatality caused by the price increase on alcohol in Scotland was announced this morning. Ian McCreedy aged 42 died at his local...

Child taken from mother after being forced to live as a Tory

26
A seven-year-old boy from Rochdale who had been "living life entirely as a Tory" has been taken from his mother's care following a High...

Gassing orphans is wrong says woman who prefers to starve them

0
Theresa May's regime has roundly condemned the Assad Regime's actions in Syria by saying it was wrong to use Sarin Gas on orphaned children. "It...
First year student can't wait to get home to tell her pony all about Marxism

First year student can’t wait to get home to tell her pony all about...

0
A first year student at the University of Bristol is said to be very excited about getting home for Christmas so she can tell...
Paddington Bear

Outrage as Paddington Bear deported back to Peru

8
Much loved star of children's literature, TV and films, Paddington Bear, has been arrested and deported to Peru, as part of a round up of...
Meghan and Harry

Aggressive beggars to marry in Windsor Castle in May

0
People across the country have been delighted by the recent news that one of the UK's sponsored panhandlers has decided to let a wealthy,...

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