Scotland’s oldest man dies aged 35

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Tributes have been paid to Gregor McGregor, Scotland's oldest man who died today aged 35.  An angry man with an impenetrable accent told us, "It's...
Trump Walking

Trump’s cognitive ability is normal, says White House vet

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WASHINGTON: The actual real-life US President Donald Trump has achieved a normal score on a cognitive exam and is in excellent fettle, although he...

Meet the UK’s First Islamic Lollipop Lady… And it’s not what you think

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Meet veteran lollipop lady Gillian Duffy. Gillian has become an institution in Rochdale and one of the country’s most decorated and experienced lollipop ladies. For more than 30 years she has worked for the council escorting children across the road and now she has a new honour, she is the UK’s first Sharia Law compliant lollipop lady
Kate and William

Royal baby has already earned more than you

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The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have left hospital after increasing the burden on the taxpayer for a third time. The new prince, who was...
Inflation

Get fit and beat inflation with subsistence farming and foraging, Top Tory tells poor

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Tory ministers are expected to announce a three part plan to tackle obesity and food inflation later this week.

Unemployed mother on benefits knocked up AGAIN

310
It's all over social media that an unemployed mother on state benefits, who already has two kids, is knocked up yet again.
Boris Johnson

Women in Burkhas look ridiculous, says man who looks like an overweight mop

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Boris Johnson has once again found himself under fire due to comments he made likening women who wear Burqas and Niqabs in appearance to...

Wanker punches Dickhead. Dickhead in serious condition

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News is emerging from Belgium today that a wanker has punched a dickhead and the dickhead is in a serious condition with a bleed on the brain.

Packham challenges Attenborough in bid to become BBC Natural History Unit alpha male

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Chris Packham has challenged Sir David Attenborough in a bid to become the BBC Natural History Unit's alpha male. In a display that witnesses have...

Piers Morgan killed in chip pan fire

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In breaking news Piers Morgan has burned to death in a devasting chip pan fire in a static caravan at Hollingsworth Lake Caravan Park

OUTRAGE as Middle Eastern immigrant cast as Mary in school nativity play

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A Rochdale primary school has come under fire from parents for casting a 9 year old Palestinian immigrant as the virgin Mary in the...
Priest

How do we fill workhouses with vulnerable children to “take care of” now, asks...

The Roman Catholic Church is in crisis today after Ireland voted decisively to repeal one of the world's most restrictive abortion bans. The church is...

Trudeau Promises Canadian Citizens A Wall. ‘U.S. Will Pay’

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Canadian Premier Justin Trudeau reacted to the news of Donald Trump's election as US President by announcing plans for a wall to be built...

US celebrates after number of days so far this year overtakes number of mass...

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Americans across America are celebrating the fact that for the first time since the invention of calendars there have been more days in the...
Zizzi

Yulia Skripal leaves Zizzi’s Salisbury 1 star TripAdvisor review

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Yulia Skripal has left her first TripAdvisor review since being poisoned last month. Ms Skripal said, "I was in the country visiting my father in...
oldham

Fears grow for BBC Explorer missing in Oldham

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The alarm was raised today after BBC documentary maker and explorer Professor Robert Falcon failed to emerge from Oldham after missing his rendezvous with...

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