Putin

Vladimir Putin wins Great Russian Bake-off after other contestants fall ill

0
Vladimir Putin has won the Russian version of Celebrity Great British Bake-off after all the other contestants sadly died in tragic but mysterious circumstances. Mr...
Hunt Saboteurs

Hunt saboteurs can’t feel pain, government declares

0
The government has voted to reject a bill that recognises that hunt saboteurs are humans who feel pain and emotion. Following an incident over the...

Tommy Robinson thrown out of restaurant after complaining about ‘Allah Cart’ menu

0
Tommy Robinson has been thrown out of a restaurant in Oldham after a campaign event today after starting a row with the manager over...
Rees Mogg

Rees-Mogg puts his clock back 200 years

0
Jacob Rees-Mogg has, today woken up in 1818 after instructing his Valet to put his clock back 200 years. His Butler, Riff Raff told us,...
Nurses

NHS crisis averted after 33,500 nurses found down back of sofa

0
Whitehall: There has been widespread relief around the UK after reports that the deepening staffing crisis in the NHS has been averted after tens...
Hugh Hefner

Playboy Bunnies surprised to find Hugh Hefner stiffer than usual

55
Notorious Bachelor and soft core pornographer Hugh Hefner was pronounced dead this morning at his home, the Playboy Mansion, Los Angeles. Early reports indicate that...

Piers Morgan quits Good Morning Britain to reprise Pigeon Lady role in Home Alone...

0
Piers Morgan has reportedly quit Good Morning Britain this week in order to reprise his award-winning role of Pigeon Lady in the Home Alone...
Katie Hopkins

VICTORY! I am a racist, not a druggie says Hopkins

0
Katie Hopkins is celebrating her racist and drug-free status tonight, it has been confirmed. Hopkins, 67, made a complaint to the Independent Press Standards Organisation...

Trump wears tinfoil hat to stop Obama hearing his thoughts…

0
President Donald J. Trump has come up with an ingenious solution to prevent Obama from ‘spying on his thoughts’. He now wears a tinfoil...
Annoyed Cat

Dead mouse on kitchen floor is a warning, not a gift

0
The dead animals that the cat has been dragging in from the garden are not gifts, they’re warnings cats have confirmed. Fluffles the cat, from...

Wanker punches Dickhead. Dickhead in serious condition

2
News is emerging from Belgium today that a wanker has punched a dickhead and the dickhead is in a serious condition with a bleed on the brain.

Meet the UK’s First Islamic Lollipop Lady… And it’s not what you think

13
Meet veteran lollipop lady Gillian Duffy. Gillian has become an institution in Rochdale and one of the country’s most decorated and experienced lollipop ladies. For more than 30 years she has worked for the council escorting children across the road and now she has a new honour, she is the UK’s first Sharia Law compliant lollipop lady

Brexit Party MEPs accidentally turn to face Mecca during national anthem

0
Brexit Party MEPs have apologised to their racists after accidentally turning to face Mecca as the European Parliament returned. "It was an honest mistake and...

UK disqualified from piss up in a brewery world championship

0
After the snap, crackle and pop election called by Theresa May has resulted in a hung parliament, it's clear that the repercussions reach further...
Brian Cox's Flat Earth

Brian Cox concedes Earth is flat after spotting massive rounding error

0
Astrophysicists around or rather, across the world are in turmoil after Oldham-born pop-rock sensation, Professor Brian Cox today admitted that the Earth is...
Katie Hopkins

Court sentences Katie Hopkins to be burned at the stake as a witch

0
In a shock move Friday, a UK libel court has ordered that controversial Daily Mail colonist and professional bigot, Katie Hopkins be burned at...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts