New royal baby to be called Mohammed and raised gender neutral
The Duchess of Sussex Megan Markle has today given birth to a healthy child after a quick labour.
Prince Harry is reported as delighted, as...
Jeremy Corbyn announces plans to nationalise the Glastonbury Music Festival
Standing on the Pyramid stage at Glastonbury, Jeremy Corbyn had a Eureka moment.
"If all these bloody people can afford to come here at these...
Scottish government urged to act as Edinburgh chip shop caught selling deep-fried HEROIN
Health campaigners in Scotland have urged the SNP government to take immediate action after an Edinburgh chip shop was found to be selling deep-fried...
Sad wankers unable to even part a Londoner from his beer
Sad little wankers have today expressed dismay that their plans to sow fear into our communities and bring about the downfall of society have...
Prince Harry to marry woman he is barely related to
Prince Harry is breaking with Royal protocol by marrying an American actress he is barely related to.
Kensington Palace are said to be disturbed saying...
Aggressive beggars to marry in Windsor Castle in May
People across the country have been delighted by the recent news that one of the UK's sponsored panhandlers has decided to let a wealthy,...
Fred and Rose distance themselves from Kanye
The solicitor for the notorious murderers Fred and Rose West have released a statement saying that Mrs West and her deceased husband are 'in...
Scotland’s oldest man dies aged 35
Tributes have been paid to Gregor McGregor, Scotland's oldest man who died today aged 35.
An angry man with an impenetrable accent told us, "It's...
Outrage as BBC confirms NONE of tonight’s Blue Planet II animals will be wearing...
The BBC has issued an apology after leaked footage of tonight's 'Blue Planet II' revealed that NONE of the animals featured will be wearing a...
Workman spotted doing some work on the £15BN M62 Roadworks
The bloke who is doing all the work on the £15BN M62 road improvement scheme has been spotted on site for the first time...
What can we say to Jane other than thank you?
A week ago today we started a campaign to buy a gift for a child who needs one this Christmas and the generosity we've...
Anger as ‘sexy Anjem Choudary’ costume outsells ‘sexy Tommy Robinson’ costume for first time
There were angry reactions across the UK today after it was revealed that a popular 'slutty Tommy Robinson' Halloween costume has been outsold by...
NHS crisis averted after 33,500 nurses found down back of sofa
Whitehall: There has been widespread relief around the UK after reports that the deepening staffing crisis in the NHS has been averted after tens...
Dozens dead after Chris Grayling attempts to make cup of tea
News is coming in this morning of a terrible incident in central London that has left dozens dead and many hundreds horribly wounded.
Eyewitnesses have...
It’s the will of the people – Jaguar Land Rover tells redundant employees
Jaguar Land Rover has told employees that by making them redundant they are carrying out the will of the British people.
Employee Bill Board told...
Farage in critical condition after fall at a supporters meeting
Nigel Farage is in hospital today after coming to the defence of ludicrously abhorrent comments made about women by Donald Trump.




















































