Boris Johnson awards Carillion contract to build bridge to France
Boris Johnson's office has revealed that the Government will award the contract to build a bridge between Britain and France to construction company and...
BBC to launch Strictly Morris Dancing.
Due to the success of its Strictly Come Dancing series and it's desperate search to find a Bake Off replacement, the BBC has commissioned...
Black Friday riots as Asda sell trolleys for £1
Riot police had to be called to a Rochdale Asda today following a bout of civil disorder. Heavy discounts meant customers could purchase trolleys...
Bloke with shaved legs and huge collection of children’s toys denies mid-life crisis
A Bloke with shaved legs and huge collection of children's toys denies mid-life crisis.
A forty two year old man from Rochdale who shaves his...
MP claims he was researching book on whether breasts make noises like clown horns
Leading MP Pete Who speaks out after being named in the Dirty Dossier.
The Member of Parliament for Goveshire West, Pete Who, has given a...
Riot Police and Protestors Come Together to Help Fat Man out of Jeans
There were touching scenes at The Moderates against Moderation riot in the car park outside Rochdale's now infamous Waitrose as police and rioters came...
Archbishop Welby kicks shit out of Nigel Farage following Twitter spat
Archbishop Welby is currently helping police with their enquiries in Westminster after allegedly kerb stomping Nigel Farage.
Nuclear holocaust averted as Southern Rail selected to deliver US missile attack
A spokesman for Southern Rail confirmed to the Rochdale Herald that in view of the anticipated two day delay the four minute warning given in advance of nuclear attacks would consequently be extended to 2,880 minutes.
Couples who call each other Mummy and Daddy told to pack it the f*ck...
Couples who call each other Mummy and Daddy have been told by the authorities to pack it the fuck in or be faced with...
Queen announces Prince Harry will become King of the USA following wedding to Meghan...
The Queen has announced that she exercise her right to crown Prince Harry and Meghan Markle King and Queen of the USA.
During the announcement...
ISIS and UN unite to condemn So-Called Yodel Customer Services for crimes against humanity
ISIS and all the member states of the United Nations have broadly condemned the British parcel delivery firm and courier service Yodel for crimes against humanity.
Wales celebrates after spectacular 2016 Darwin Award victory
The population of Wales has been awarded a collective 2016 Darwin Award for its staggering act of self immolation in last year's referendum on...
Scottish government urged to act as Edinburgh chip shop caught selling deep-fried HEROIN
Health campaigners in Scotland have urged the SNP government to take immediate action after an Edinburgh chip shop was found to be selling deep-fried...
Satire Aid 2018 total is 1,600 presents worth £15,200 so far
You guys are amazing! As you may know we are running our second annual Secret Santa to buy gifts for children who otherwise wouldn't...
Stevie Wonder just chooses to be blind, says Kanye West
Batshit crazy US rapper Kanye West has said that the Stevie Wonder’s blindness may be a “choice.”
Israel celebrates Eurovision win by bombing Gaza strip
Israel has celebrated winning the Eurovision song contest with a massive aerial bombardment of the Gaza Strip and shooting dead some Palestinian civilians.
Nine Palestinian...
