Fears for local man missing in Ikea
Fears were increasing today for an intrepid, brave, noble man who has been missing in Ikea for 14 days.
Steve Dickinson from Dukinfield...
Calls for end to austerity as BBC reveal they can only afford female to...
Cost cutting at state broadcaster curtails roles for male actors.
The BBC has responded to continuing pressure from central government to reduce costs by reducing...
Now that passports are blue again I might get one, says 50 year old...
A fifty year old racist fuckwit has told The Rochdale Herald that he is over the moon that passports are now going to be...
No new ‘Banksys’ have appeared since Rolf Harris got banged up
Tie me kangaroo down Banksy, can you tell who it is yet?
Well perhaps here at The Rochdale Herald we are nearer to being...
SHOCK as cocaine bought in Rochdale nightclub found to contain trace amounts of COCAINE
Local man Geoff Addy was out partying in Rochdale's premier night club, Kokos, on Saturday for his mate John Bullington's abortion party, when he...
Stonehenge to be knocked down to make way for new Super-Mosque
Details leaked from an article due to be published in the Daily Mail show plans to bulldoze the famous neolithic landmark to make way...
UK’s youngest Brexit voter has died aged seventy three
We met in a small cafe in Westminster. A reporter for the Rochdale Herald and Britain's youngest Brexit supporter. Shining another glass to make...
Glastonbury food vendors uproar after Jeremy Corbyn feeds festival with five loaves and two...
Food vendors at the Glastonbury festival have been in uproar today after Jeremy Corbyn fed the entire site using just five loaves of bread...
Government appoints Franz Kafka as new Head of Test and Trace service
Following reports that some people around the UK have been able to get a Coronavirus test the government has appointed the Bohemian novelist Franz...
Leave means Leave says Boris Johnson’s Girlfriend
Boris Johnson's girlfriend has apparently told a befuddled Boris Johnson that leave means leave during a heated row at her flat in the early...
Northern supermarket to trial hummus
News is breaking that a well-known northern supermarket is to start selling hummus at some stores at some point in 2021.
It is thought that...
Season 9 of The Walking Dead to be filmed in Burnley Asda
The Burnley Magic Lantern Club has announced that the next Season of The Walking Dead will be filmed in an Asda store in Burnley.
Benny...
Knobhead calls knobhead knobhead
Renowned knobhead Liam Gallagher has snubbed famous knobhead James Corden by refusing to appear on his TV show Carpool Karaoke.
Gallagher, who is currently touring...
Hunt saboteurs can’t feel pain, government declares
The government has voted to reject a bill that recognises that hunt saboteurs are humans who feel pain and emotion.
Following an incident over the...
Daily Mail editor defends decision to exclude Gold medallist with alopecia from cover
The editor at the Daily Mail has allegedly defended his decision to only put two of the gold medalists from the four woman, world...
Terror as scientists find link between Daily Mail and racist pensioners
Following an uncomfortable family dinner with her parents, local woman Karen Smith, 28, reported to friends yesterday that she fears mirroring their gradual decline...
