Due to the success of its Strictly Come Dancing series and it’s desperate search to find a Bake Off replacement, the BBC has commissioned a series of Strictly Morris Dancing to be shown next year. 

The head of middle class programming at the Beeb, Jocaster Tyler-Mason, had this to say at the launch,

“We are searching for the Morris Dancing stars of tomorrow. We are sure they are out there somewhere. Contestants will be put through their paces and laughed at in town squares all over the west country, by Folk Dance legends Claire McCloggin and Gordon Bennet. They’ll have to construct their own ridiculous costumes, learn routines and even make up songs about milkmaids they met while a-walkin’ one day. With the loser being burnt in a wicker man each week.”

Apparently the corporation has been planning ahead to find a replacement when negotiations to keep Bake Off floundered. Other formats considered but dropped include Great British Gin Tasting with Ben Fogle, a version of Supermarket Sweep set in a John Lewis store hosted by Kirsty Alsopp, and a survival show hosted by Bear Grylls where a family from Camden have to survive in Provence for a week on one bottle of below par red and half a wheel of Brie.

Many have been quick to criticise the BBC for the new show however, with the editors of the Daily Mail and Daily Express claiming it’s a waste of licence payers money, pandering to a middle class leftist agenda and that the BBC should be sold off to Mr Murdoch immediately.

They did add that they were looking forward to ‘Blacking-Up Week’ though.