Tie me kangaroo down Banksy, can you tell who it is yet?

Well perhaps here at The Rochdale Herald we are nearer to being able to say yes, yes we can as a four year investigation by our reporter took a fascinating twist.

Our art correspondent Tarquin Brathwaite-Johnson-de Carteret has made the past four years his life long mission to uncover the secret identity of street art hooligan ‘Banksy’ and after countless deadends and fruitless searches on google suddenly Tarquin was hit by a flash of inspiration.

There hasn’t been a single new sighting of a ‘Banksy’, the so called ‘street art’, ever since the day the nation’s favourite doodler Rolf Harris got sent down for thrusting his didgeridoo where it wasn’t welcome.

Coincidence? Possibly, but that’s not the only evidence in this case as if you study each and every ‘Banksy’ discovered so far in the bottom right hand corner you can faintly make out the outline of a Rolf-a-roo, Mr Harris’s famous trademark.

Residents near a few of his installations have in the past reported strange buzzing sounds not dissimilar to that of a stylophone.

The final piece of the puzzle comes from a previously unreleased police report on one of Banksy’s most famous bits of needless graffiti the unimaginatively titled ‘Balloon Girl’, which does indeed feature both a balloon and a girl, where apparently a wobble-board was found near by.

Rolf Harris was unavailable for comment at the time of going to print which for us is as good as a complete admission of the facts as we see them.

Illiterate writer of nonsense. Great at headlines but tail off during the story ;-) Available for weddings funerals and kids parties. Never lie, or do I? Married to a retired supermodel come part time donkey racer. Will work for beer and crisps.