Boris Johnson looks like a c*nt, say letterboxes
Letterboxes around the UK have stood by their remarks about the Boris Johnson after the Post Office chairman asked them to apologise.
There is broad...
Conservative Christmas Party cancelled after failing to negotiate piss up deal with brewery
There was despair throughout the Conservative Party today after government officials announced that the annual Christmas do has been cancelled.
The news comes after many...
Trump eats baby in front of mother during rally
Donald Trump hit a new low today by disembowelling a newborn baby and eating her still beating heart like an apple after she interrupted...
The Queen asks Merkel to form a government
Her Majesty the Queen is expected to travel to Berlin later today to ask German Chancellor Angela Merkel to form a government for the...
Turkeys delighted they’re able to finally “get Christmas done”
Turkeys up and down the country are said to be delighted that they are now in a position to finally "get Christmas done."
"We've been...
UK insists EU to have custody of Farage at weekends in Brexit divorce settlement
As part of the Brexit divorce settlement the EU has agreed to have Nigel Farage at weekends.
In exchange for the financial settlement, believed...
Winning a general election easier than taking benefits from orphans says woman who took...
Like the irritating eager new guy at work, dark Sith Lord and unelected PM, Theresa May, announced a snap general election 15 minutes before...
ISIS claim responsibility for Conservative Party Conference
The attackers wrote Boris’s jokes, Theresa May’s speech and arranged for all the letters to fall off the wall behind the Prime Minister during her main conference address in an audacious display of comic timing.
DUP advises British Gas customers to burn witches and Catholics to keep warm this...
Princess Diana's body is to be exhumed and hung on a gibbet outside Buckingham Palace to commemorate the 20th anniversary of the last witch-hunt...
Nigel Farage thrilled to hold onto Question Time Seat
Nigel Farage has responded to criticism from Andrew Neill that Brexit Party no longer has a reason to exist following their total annihilation in the exit...
Dead mice brought in by cats to be declared part of household income in...
Cat-owners are now being asked to count any rodents or birds left on their doorstep as declarable earnings in their application for means-tested benefits,...
Boris resigns to spend more time in storm drain beckoning to children
Boris Johnson has resigned from his position as foreign secretary today, and has returned to his natural role as a malevolent entity which preys...
Theresa May accused of muttering in parliament “fuck em, let em starve”
Theresa May was accused of muttering the words "fuck em, let em starve" in parliament on Wednesday.
May appeared to mutter the words during a...
PARENT’S FURY AT COMPULSORY ARABIC LESSONS AT ROCHDALE PRIMARY SCHOOL
Parents are furious about Rochdale Primary School's decision to force children to learn Arabic symbols in Maths lessons.
Many parents believe that forcing their children...
Prince Charles admits years of talking to vegetables perfect preparation for Trump visit
Prince Charles has confirmed that years of talking to vegetables at Highgrove are the perfect preparation for meeting Donald Trump today.
There's been a...
Tommy Robinson thrown out of restaurant after complaining about ‘Allah Cart’ menu
Tommy Robinson has been thrown out of a restaurant in Oldham after a campaign event today after starting a row with the manager over...
