Politics

Quite why the public aren't offended by the white, middle class family trying to buck the immigration system is baffling academics as anti-immigration campaigners are strangely quiet about an Australian family who came to...

Underchinned Tory leadership hopeful Jacob Rees-Mogg has upset both women and homosexuals today by saying he is opposed to same-sex marriage and abortion under any circumstances. "I'm catholic, and according to my beliefs abortion is...

British Prime Minister Theresa May is to mud wrestle naked with Scottish nationalist leader Nicola Sturgeon for the right to trigger article 50 to take the United Kingdom out the European Union. Sources close to the prime...

The collection of gammon faced halfwits known as the UK Independence party has appointed the internationally famous cat abuser Mary Bale as an advisor on cat welfare issues. Mary will advise Gerard whathisface, this week's...

Joffrey I Baratheon, King of the Andals and the First Men, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms and Protector of the Realm is to perform Iain Duncan Smith's Knighting ceremony. A Palace spokesman said, "The Queen...

In the latest Tory manifesto promise benefit claimants and people earning less than minimum wage are to be sent a free chamber pot. Current Work and Pensions Secretary, Iain Crabb Green, said; "This is a fantastic opportunity...

Prince Charles has confirmed that years of talking to vegetables at Highgrove are the perfect preparation for meeting Donald Trump today. There's been a lot of speculation about how Prince Charles and Trump would...

Embarrassed confusion reigned over the little Cotswold village of Slapstick-cum-Quickly as local resident David Cameron joined a misheard conversation and totally got the wrong end of the stick. The mix up occurred when David, who...

All national media outlets are continuing with their agreement to stop any reporting of a certain well known political leader this week, who we can not name for legal reasons Chief columnist for The Sun,...

Food supremo Greggs announced via a Rochdale Herald exclusive today that they have chosen Paris for their post Brexit trading headquarters and will soon change their name to De Gréoire. Long established as a culinary...

David Cameron, pig-fiddling, radish-faced ex-PM has decided to step down as an MP. Cameron, who nobody has so much as glanced at in Parliament since the recess ended said he was stepping down so as...

The Democratic Unionist Party has offered to support Theresa May's minority government on the condition that she kicks Bishop Brennan up the arse, according to a Government source. Following a disastrous general election for the...

Boris Johnson's girlfriend has apparently told a befuddled Boris Johnson that leave means leave during a heated row at her flat in the early hours of this morning. Despite explaining that "leave" means "get out"...

Nigel Farage has responded to criticism from Andrew Neill that Brexit Party no longer has a reason to exist following their total annihilation in the exit polls in the General Election by saying it isn't all...

Sewer workers in the London area of Whitechapel have reportedly found the dreams of the young decomposing in a giant blockage in the system which leads all the way back to 10 Downing Street. It's...

As was inevitable, faced with the likelihood of action being taken through the mechanisms of the British sovereign parliament to avert a no-deal Brexit, the unelected Prime Minister has instructed the unelected monarch to...