Treasury seek OAP to sit in baked beans to fund Social Services

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In a surprise press release, the Treasury have today revealed a novel initiative to bolster funding for cash-starved Social Services. In the statement, Chancellor of...
Children At Christmas

Only 4 more Prime Ministers until Christmas, say children

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Excitement at a Rochdale school is building after pupils discovered there are only 4 more Prime Ministers until Christmas. One teacher at the Robert Mugabe...
Putin Trump

Trump and Putin plan the partition of Poland

5
It’s been revealed that American President Donald Trump and Russian President Vladamir Putin have agreed to partition Poland between their two countries. Both leaders...
Miliband

Ed Miliband Suspended by Labour in Anti-Semitic Bacon Sandwich Shocker

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Former Labour Leader Ed Miliband has been suspended from the Party after being accused of anti-Semitic breakfast habits. A spokesman for the Labour Party...
Hippies Hippy

Nobody arsed about Green Party Manifesto leak

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Last night a draft of Labour's election manifesto was leaked leading to pro Brexit outrage paper, The Daily Mail, drawing comparisons between Labour's proposed policies and...

David Davis reveals he’s accidentally been attending PTA meetings in Brussels and has no...

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There were refreshing bursts of honesty in the ritual Brexit update today when David Davis revealed he’s only just worked out he’s been attending...
Theresa May

Argos refuse to exchange or refund anymore Theresa May-bots

1
Shoppers in the UK were shocked by a press release this morning from popular retailer Argos, who state they will not exchange or refund...
Trump

Definitely No Corruption at polls

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Donald Trump has made a statement after his victory at the polls that he categorically believes there is no way there was any corruption...
German Police Train Station

British tourist arrested in Frankfurt after tunnelling out of passport control and trying to...

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A British tourist was detained by police in Frankfurt today after being arrested at Frankfurt train station. The tourist is understood to have been queueing...

Jeremy Corbyn insists he’ll remain Labour leader even after death

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Serial metaphorical and actual seat avoider, and leader of a thousand students ineligible to vote, Jeremy Corbyn, has announced that nothing will stop him ruining the...

Theresa May says alcohol and poor judgement to blame for Trump state visit

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Theresa May has been responding to calls to cancel the Trump state visit during a press conference today. Responding to criticism that the invitation for...

Rochdale man jumps off cliff and blames friends not believing he could fly for...

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A Rochdale man who sustained life threatening injuries after he jumped off Beachy Head has blamed his injuries on his friends not believing he...
Denis Skinner

Labour Conference to go ahead as Dennis Skinner with baseball bat confirmed as security

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The Labour Party have announced that their conference will go ahead despite G4S laughing in their faces when begged to supply security. "We are sorry...
Corbyn

Corbyn defection massive blow to crybaby lefties

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Shock news reaching us today of defection of the Labour leader and terrorist sympathiser Jeremy Corbyn has left the party in favour of Britain First. The shock...

Lockheed Martin Trident Vote after party “off the hook”

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Details are sketchy at present but apparently the Lockheed Martin Trident Vote after party was absolutely "off the hook". We can only imagine what kind...

Met Office advise all future storms named Storm Boris until May gets the balls...

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The Met Office has released a statement this lunch time advising that all storms to hit the United Kingdom this winter will be named...

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