Whitehall in panic as Chilcot Report left on N47 Deptford Bus

With only a little more than a month to go before the controversial Chilcot report is due to be released Whitehall has been thrown...
Farage in Russian hat

Farage exposed as Russian “mole”, according to Rochdale medium

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Rochdale medium Mrs Isadore Goggins today revealed that Nigel Farage is a Russian mole bent on destroying the UK, the EU and the US.  The news was...
Children At Christmas

Only 4 more Prime Ministers until Christmas, say children

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Excitement at a Rochdale school is building after pupils discovered there are only 4 more Prime Ministers until Christmas. One teacher at the Robert Mugabe...
Beach

Government votes to go on holiday early after solving all UK’s problems

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Members of parliament have overwhelmingly voted to bring their summer break forward as a reward for having solved all of the UK's problems. The...
Mark Garnier

What’s wrong with asking your secretary to buy you a dildo, asks complete dildo

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The king of Dildos and soon to be former International Trade Minister Mark Garnier is to investigated over a potential breach of the ministerial code after he admitted to asking a former parliamentary aide to buy him a dildo

Tories “Limited and specific” law breaking given thumbs up by criminals

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As the UK government is apparently comfortable breaking international law over plans to unilaterally overwrite part of the Brexit withdrawal agreement, The Rochdale Herald...
Old people

Tories relying on the elderly to forget about the Dementia Tax to win election

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After announcing their proposal for elderly social care, Theresa May and the Conservative Party went down in the polls harder than an OAP slipping on an...

Britain happy to be America’s toilet after Brexit and doesn’t fear a blockage

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Dr Liam Fox is in America this week offering the United Kingdom up as America’s toilet, after Brexit, and sees no risk of a...
Hippies Hippy

Cornwall in Crisis as more middle class hippies leaving than arriving since Brexit

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Cornwall is in crisis as studies show, for the first time in a generation, more middle-class old hippies are leaving than arriving. One local, Anni...
God is love sign

Ethnic cleanliness next to Godliness according to the DUP

2
The DUP were apparently acknowledging today the new opportunities opening up to them, with some pleasure. DUP spokesmuppet Seamus Allways  said "This is orr moment...
Golden sceptre

Trump orders Fabergé selfie-stick for inauguration

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In preparation for his inauguration ceremony, President elect Trump has commissioned Fabergé, the esteemed and historic jewellery makers to the Russian emperors, to craft...

May to seek permission from Rupert Murdoch to sack Boris Johnson

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The Rochdale Herald can reveal this afternoon that Theresa May is alleged to have written to British Prime Minister Rupert Murdoch seeking permission to...

Firefighters summoned to giant pants fire after Boris repeats inflammatory £350M NHS claim

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Firefighters were summoned to a giant pants fire this morning after Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson repeated his £350M NHS Brexit claim. The emergency services responded...
Crying Man

Irony pronounced dead after UKIP spokesman warns Corbyn Government would ‘take Britain back to...

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Experts have announced that irony is dead. The announcement came after a UKIP MEP said that Britain would be plunged back to the early...
Denis Skinner

Labour foreign policy just Dennis Skinner with a cricket bat

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Jeremy Corbyn's anti-Trident, peace before war principles have long caused concern amongst critics and fellow MPs. "He'll lie down and let anyone who wants to do...
Theresa May (licence)

Brexit date to be celebrated by New ‘May Day’ Bank Holiday.

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It has been announced that as of 2019, the 29th of March will become known as 'May Day' in recognition of the glorious achievements...

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