Citizen’s arrest powers updated to include summary execution
Put your hands on the car and get ready to die.
Home Secretary Amber Rudd confirmed today that the Police and Criminal Evidence Act (PACE)...
David Davis tells Select Committee the dog ate his Brexit Impact Assessment
David Davis, the Secretary for Probably Exiting the European Union, has confirmed to the House of Lords Select Committee that he has definitely done...
Donald Trump shocked Democrat voters also allowed to buy guns
Donald Trump was horrified to learn last night that Democrats are allowed to buy guns after being rushed off stage by Secret Service Agents.
NHS Funding: Less is more insists Jeremy Hunt
A government source told us yesterday that robot eyed shitkicker Jeremy Hunt has decided to take a more philosophical approach to the NHS crisis.
Dr...
Leave means Leave says Boris Johnson’s Girlfriend
Boris Johnson's girlfriend has apparently told a befuddled Boris Johnson that leave means leave during a heated row at her flat in the early...
Diane Abbot “fed lines through an ear-piece” says former leader
Diane Abbot's former Leader has claimed the MP is fed her lines through an earpiece so she doesn't have to memorise facts, figures, policy...
Boris Johnson says he was baked when he made cake and eat it brexit...
Foreign to the truth Secretary Boris Johnson has attempted to evade responsibility for the calamity that Brexit has become by allegedly claiming he was...
London prime ministerial fatberg is too strong and stable to shift
Following the news that a massive lump of fat, plastic and waste material is blocking London's sewer works, the Rochdale Herald spoke to an...
Mexico Offers to Purchase Channel Tunnel Following Brexit
A Mexican conglomerate has offered to purchase the Channel Tunnel when Britain formally leaves the European Union.
Juan Tunnelsunda, CEO of Tunnels 2 US, a...
Paul Nuttall Demands Return To Ice Age
Historians specialising in migration to the British Isles have confirmed that Paul Nuttall actually got something technically right after his Women’s Hour interview this...
Chequers agreement shreds itself
Michel Barnier has revealed that the sole copy of the latest version of the Chequers agreement shredded itself in his office yesterday.
"I popped out...
Britain First’s meme maker in coma
As Poppy Day draws ever closer, the strain of making anti Muslim memes has proven to much for Britain First's head of social media, Tommy...
Rees-mogg to donate communion wafers to food banks to alleviate hunger with uplifting religious...
Community pressure group VFAC (Vegan Food Advocates for Catholicism) have reacted with dismay today to news that Jacob Rees-mogg MP has donated one tonne...
Red-faced Green makes pinky promise regarding blue movies
The latest sex scandal to hit the presses involves Damien Green using pornography at work. The de facto Prime Minister-in-waiting appears to have tossed...
Leadsom’s Children ‘Huge Drain’ On The NHS, Blast Critics
A new campaign has surfaced drawing attention to hyper-fertile Tory leadership hopeful Andrea Leadsom's penchant for bulking the national populace.
Stop Leadsom Over Breeding for...
Boris Johnson Sits In With Infant School Maths Class, Answers 350 Million To Every...
Boris Johnson seems to have a one-track mind when it comes to numbers. While visiting an infants' school in Rochdale, he sat in on...
