Corbyn’s reelection met with scenes of ecstatic jubilation

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There were scenes of unprecedented jubilation at the news of the corduroy communist Corbyn's reelection at Downing Street today. A spokes-Sloan for the Tory Party...

Outrage as Trump BBQ ruins White House lawn

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White House officials were said to be furious today after Trump supporters burned a cross on the South Lawn last night. The BBQ, which was...

David Davis hospitalised after failing to negotiate his way out of wet paper bag

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It is reported that every staff member on the exercise rapidly ripped a hole into the side of the giant, wet paper bag and emerged unscathed and rejuvenated, except David Davis, who seemed to struggle.

Statistics confirm three kinds of lies; lies, damned lies and Boris Johnson’s statistics

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UK Statistics Authority have reaffirmed the old adage today that there are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and Boris Johnson’s use of...

Clocks won’t go back this month due to EU ruling

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The European Union and the UK Government have agreed that the UK's clocks won't go back an hour in October this year or change...

NHS Funding: Less is more insists Jeremy Hunt

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A government source told us yesterday that  robot eyed shitkicker Jeremy Hunt has decided to take a more philosophical approach to the NHS crisis. Dr...
Mark Garnier

What’s wrong with asking your secretary to buy you a dildo, asks complete dildo

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The king of Dildos and soon to be former International Trade Minister Mark Garnier is to investigated over a potential breach of the ministerial code after he admitted to asking a former parliamentary aide to buy him a dildo
Pork Scratchings

Relief as far-right mob turns out to be burst bag of pork scratchings

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Police have attended an incident in Rochdale today after numerous concerned calls reported a far-right mob assembled in the town centre. Attending officers would like...

Whitewash of establishment nonces in the interests of the children – says dame

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 Amber Rudd is set to give evidence to a commons committee on the state of the inquiry into child sexual abuse in place of...

Trump using Martin Luther King bust as a door stop after returning Churchill to...

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Black Lives Matter protesters are up in arms after it was reported that President Trump is using the White House's Martin Luther King bust as a door stop.

“Leave scientists” confused by spoon

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Leave the EU scientists found themselves stumped this afternoon when faced with a spoon. They had previously been asked to identify a knife and a...

Former KGB thug Is UKIP leader’s hero

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Diane James, former Transvision Vamp singer current UKIP führer, says Vladimir Putin is one of her political heroes.  Speaking on The Sunday Politics, the Dot...
Theresa May

Nah, I said smashed through a field of weed fam, claims PM

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There’s bare girl jobs and mandem jobs, you feel me? “When’d all y’all start getting so disrespectful?” said Theresa May yesterday. “Maybe it was that Lord...

Labour Unveil New All White Party Flag

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Thanks to Labour another Article 50 bill amendment that would have risked empowering the British people, who are now known to be idiots, has...
Law

Britain free from the ‘shackles of Brussels’ as it adopts every European law

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Britain is going to reclaim its sovereignty and make itself great again by sticking two fingers up at Europe and adopting every law and...
Children At Christmas

Only 4 more Prime Ministers until Christmas, say children

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Excitement at a Rochdale school is building after pupils discovered there are only 4 more Prime Ministers until Christmas. One teacher at the Robert Mugabe...

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