Britain invokes Dunkirk spirit of ‘running away’ as EC takes back control of Brexit.
Theresa May escaped from Brussels late last night, as a small flotilla of fishing boats each carried a tiny morsel of her shattered credibility...
A Christmas Carol reimagined by new Ministry of Truth to promote thrift
The iconic Christmas tale has been edited by the new government department to 'instill a sense of fiscal caution' in the nation's youth.
The new...
Corbyn Publicly Apologies For Labour Lords
It's been widely reported that the House of Lords struck a severe blow to British democracy last night.
The blow, sponsored by a rogue...
New cold war looms as Trump aspires to make American prostitutes better than Russian...
Concern that America is falling behind Russia in the pay-for-sex industry was allayed last night after President Donald J Trump announced a new ‘hooker...
Statistics confirm three kinds of lies; lies, damned lies and Boris Johnson’s statistics
UK Statistics Authority have reaffirmed the old adage today that there are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and Boris Johnson’s use of...
Parliament email hack reveals 75% of May’s emails contain phrase “cocking fuck, what fresh...
Penetration of the heart of government by dodgy Russian hacker types has allowed innovative research.
Statistical analysis of the government's emails has been published today...
Despot responsible for mass starvation and crimes against humanity meets Saudi Prince
The Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia has raised concerns about human rights in the United Kingdom during talks with the country's barely elected despot.
Farage in critical condition after massive overdose
Nigel Farage is in a critical condition this morning after taking a colossal irony overdose.
Panic as 2015 Pence Tweet emerges stating ‘Genocide is wrong and unconstitutional’
The old Tweet was discovered just a day after another one of Pence's was found, also from 2015, which read 'Calls to ban Muslims...
Sending emails much worse than raping children Trump tells supporters
Donald Trump told supporters at a rally today that accusations that Hillary Clinton mishandled emails during her tenure as Secretary of State were much...
Mexico Offers to Purchase Channel Tunnel Following Brexit
A Mexican conglomerate has offered to purchase the Channel Tunnel when Britain formally leaves the European Union.
Juan Tunnelsunda, CEO of Tunnels 2 US, a...
DUP offer to support May if she kicks Bishop Brennan up the arse
The Democratic Unionist Party has offered to support Theresa May's minority government on the condition that she kicks Bishop Brennan up the arse, according...
Deselecting MPs implicated in electoral fraud before election “Hadn’t occurred to me” claims PM
The Prime Minister claims the possible loss of up to twenty MPs from a working majority of seventeen in the run-up to Brexit is...
Jeremy Corbyn appoints his teddy bears and security blanket to cabinet
The leader of the Labour Party Jeremy Corbyn has just had to give all his friends in the tree-house gang another reprimand. Having failed...
Foreign holiday season likely to be cancelled says Minister for the Bleedin Obvious
Many British people are unlikely to be able to take summer holidays abroad this year says Matt Hancock in a stunning example of the...
Tests prove evolution has stopped among UKIP supporters
Groundbreaking research at Rochdale Technical University's Institute of Genetic Engineering has confirmed that evolution has stopped working, and in some cases is being reversed,...
