Westminster fury as MPs told six week wait to process expenses claims

1
There were raucous scenes at Westminster yesterday as several MPs were advised that a new system for processing expenses meant a six week wait...
Bergxit

Antarctical 50 signed, Bergxit means Bergxit

4
Today an area four times the size of London has broken away from the Antarctic landmass. It is a worrying example of rising sea...

Britain First unsure what comes Second

0
Britain First members were baffled this week when asked the unintentional riddle: “If Britain's first, what’s second?” The question came from Billy Michaels, a seven...
eraser

Liberal Metropolitan Elite plan to rig election goes awry when Hermes deliver rubbers to...

0
The Liberal Metropolitan Elite was reeling last night when a delivery of 2 million rubbers was delivered to the wrong address. The Elite were allegedly planning...
Theresa May

UK to hold referendum on whether or not to carry on pretending May knows...

11
The Home Office announced this morning that voters in the U.K. will be asked to tick yes or no again in a referendum shortly....

We didn’t hack Paul Nuttall claims hacker group Anonymous

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"We didn't hack Paul Nuttall" claims anarchistic hacker group Anonymous, as they moved to deny claims that it had hacked the UKIP leader and...

UK insists EU to have custody of Farage at weekends in Brexit divorce settlement

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As part of the Brexit divorce settlement the EU has agreed to have Nigel Farage at weekends. In exchange for the financial settlement, believed...
Latest Trump Campaign Poster

Trump Campaign Seeks Divine Intervention

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The Trump campaign appears to have taken an unprecedented new course today, with the release of a series of posters on social media. The posters...

New UKIP leader elected yesterday already 3rd longest serving leader behind both Nigel Farages

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Mr Henry Bolt-on was celebrating tonight after having managed the milestone event of third longest serving UKIP leader, even though he was only elected...

US to build lots of walls around Mexicans in US.

0
Donald Trump has confirmed that the building of the Mexican wall will go ahead and has given further details of its construction.  Rather than trying...
Jeremy Corbyn

Commie Corbyn pledges to nationalise your teeth

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Bearded Trotskyite do-gooder, Jeremy Corbyn has taken a break from sending care packages full of homemade jam to terrorists, to nationalise absolutely everything. Clueless commie...

ISIS claim responsibility for self-service checkouts

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So called 'Islamic State'  have claimed responsibility for supermarket self service checkouts. A statement released by ISIS said they came up with the idea after...

Britain To Close Controversial Island Refugee Centre

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Britain's oldest island refugee centre, Australia, is to be closed following reports of inhumane conditions and bonkers management. The centre, set up in 1770, has...

Only alternative to catastrophic Tory Brexit is catastrophic Labour Brexit says Corbyn

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Jeremy Corbyn has sought to reassure Labour Party members fearful of a catastrophic Tory Brexit that a Labour Brexit will be just as hard...
Theresa May

Theresa May refuses to attend the General Election

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After appointing her recently bereaved Home Secretary, Amber Rudd, to take flack from 'the most left wing audience since a Stalin rally' - Daily Mail, in...

Liberal Democrats now so wet they’re considered homeopathic

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A stink has been kicking up this week after the British Homeopathic Association were forced to distance themselves from the Liberal Democrats after a northern fake newspaper editor claimed The Lib Dems were less effective than homeopathy.

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