New London Development Announced

With todays news that the Calais Jungle has been cleared of filthy asylum seekers, the ramshackle dwellings have immediately been occupied by an even more dreadful people with beards called 'Noddlers'. These horrific trend setters,...
Trump Airplane

Trump state visit downgraded amid protest fears

It has been announced that President Trump’s forthcoming visit to the UK has been downgraded from a full state visit. POTUS was invited to meet the Queen at Buckingham Palace by Theresa May earlier in...
Rees Mogg

Jacob Rees-mogg urged to fund charity ‘The Rees-mogg Foundation for mothers who conceive via...

Jacob Rees-mogg was urged today to fund a new charity to back up his assertion that life begins at conception, and no matter how horrific the circumstances of conception, the woman should suffer because...

Trump insists the audience for his resignation speech will be bigger than Sean Spicers

Donald Trump has insisted that the audience for Sean Spicers resignation speech will be miniscule compared to his own. Trump tweeted that, "Spicer was a great guy. I'll miss seeing him on Saturday Night Live....

Clocks won’t go back this month due to EU ruling

The European Union and the UK Government have agreed that the UK's clocks won't go back an hour in October this year or change at until Brexit negotiations have concluded. The move comes following complaints...

Auschwitz could be next Centre Parcs if they just knock down the gas chambers

A Government official is alleged to have told an audience at a fringe event of the Conservative Party conference that Auschwitz could become a branch of Center Parcs. The official was commenting following a recent...

Nigel Farage to become the fourth Mrs. Donald Trump

The ‘Special Relationship’ between the United States and Britain is likely to get a lot stronger thanks to the efforts of Nigel Farage. He is to become the fourth Mrs. Donald Trump.
Passports

Now that passports are blue again I might get one, says 50 year old...

A fifty year old racist fuckwit has told The Rochdale Herald that he is over the moon that passports are now going to be blue again. "Now that passports are going to be blue again...

Labour MP Needs To Bathe In Ocean

Wanky-named cod impersonator and Labour MP Thangar Debonairre (ironically in charge of modern culture!) was recently told to "Get in the sea," by a student of Bristol University. The Labour MP then reported this as...
Theresa May Converse

Theresa May won’t let Brit Gas 12.5% price hike ruin her hiking holiday

What could be scarier than millions of ageing Brexit backers being hit with a massive energy bill increase right when May's taking enough heat trying to turn her policy fantasies into reality? And especially when she's previously mentioned an energy price cap but now doesn't really want to talk about it again in case she has to do something.

Tony Blair ego in critical condition after found clinging to Brexit controversy in Atlantic

After being lost for several months following his exile from the UK, Tony Blair's ego has been found clinging desperately to a Brexit controversy found floating in the Atlantic Ocean. He'd knocked up the...
Theresa May

Get behind my shit deal or we won’t be able to do dreadful thing,...

Theresa May has urged MP's to get behind her awful Brexit plan or risk not being able to have Brexit. With many people warning that it's a really stupid...

Ukip furious at voting for ‘the wrong Hitler’ in leadership election

UKIP are in disarray today after 'accidentally' electing Eddie Hitler to lead them for a month before Nigel Farage decides he wants the job again. Ray Cyst, a firm party supporter said; "We got excited when we...

Doctors find hating immigrants can increase risk of getting Nuttalls

Recent medical studies have found a direct link between xenophobic thoughts and the rampant outbreak of Nuttalls in the U.K. Closely resembling a haemorrhoid, a Nuttall is a pink, puss filled boil that can appear...

May rains on International Happiness Day with Brexit announcement

March 20th has long been designated International Happiness Day, a day to celebrate all that is good about life in the 21st century. However there were few smiles in the disunited Kingdom as Theresa May seized...
David Davis

David Davis tells Select Committee the dog ate his Brexit Impact Assessment

David Davis, the Secretary for Probably Exiting the European Union, has confirmed to the House of Lords Select Committee that he has definitely done the financial analysis that is due to be handed in...

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