Theresa May

UK to hold referendum on whether or not to carry on pretending May knows...

The Home Office announced this morning that voters in the U.K. will be asked to tick yes or no again in a referendum shortly. This time the question will be whether or not to...

Tories fined £20 million for pumping untreated sewage into people’s brains

The Conservatives are facing a hefty fine after it has been discovered that their manifesto pledges and reassurances over Brexit were found to contain 1.5 billion litres of human excrement. It is difficult to know...

“I did not have fap relations with my work computer” says Damien Green

The beleaguered Secretary of State is still denying accusations of downloading and viewing porn like a teen with two dicks on his office computer at work. The claims have been made by an ex...

Momentum Youth Wing nothing like Hitler Youth, insist Momentum

The new Momentum Youth Wing that has been proposed will be nothing like the Hitler Youth Momentum and Corbyn are insisting. "Well obviously they're nothing like each other. They were really very right wing and...

Australian Government launches plan to solve poverty by fining poor people

It has been revealed that secret meetings between the Prime Minister’s office and the Australian Federal Police has culminated in Operation Integrity, a scheme designed to push as many welfare recipients as possible, over the edge.
David Davis

David Davis organises piss up in brewery on wrong day

The Secretary of State for Exiting the European Union reportedly organised a smashing piss up in a brewery to celebrate New Year's Eve on the 29th of December. "It would have been a cracking New...
Justine Greening

Secretary of State for Education, Justine Greening shows concern for pupils “Not talk good”

In the UK, education has always been of paramount significance, on par with the National Health Service, or ensuring that MPs have enough income to survive. Test results have not been as good as hoped...
corbyn momentum twerp

Political satire not funny when it’s about Corbyn, says humourless twerp

Taking the mick out of Tories is fine but leave Corbyn alone, according to Frank Lennon, a Rochdale Momentum member. "The Tories are evil and are trying to destroy the poor," said Lennon, whose Facebook...
Theresa May

Chips aren’t as tasty as live mice confirms Prime Minister

In an attempt to appear more human Theresa May took a break from eating her usual diet of live mice and had one of her aides purchase a cone of chips from a local cafe. The PM...
Theresa May

May To Wheel Out Trebuchet

Theresa May will relaunch her election campaign today with a classic bit of fighting kit. A trebuchet nicknamed 'Warwolf". The trebuchet, effectively a giant catapult, was one of the famous workhorses of political campaigning before...
Theresa May

Prime minister says, “Boris Johnson is not undermining me, I’m doing it all on...

The woman who thinks she's British prime minister stated clearly today, and repetitively, “Boris Johnson is not undermining me, I'm doing it all on my own.” The statement, and the at times quavering voice it...

Foreign words banned from entering English language March 2019

Foreign words already resident in the native tongue, like Welsh ones, will be allowed to remain after England (and the others) exit the EU.
Man with shocked face

Trump appoints David Duke to head Black Lives Don’t Matter initiative

Dr David Duke, former Grand Dragon of the Ku Klux Klan, Senate hopeful and all American Nazi Screwball, has accepted President Elect Donald Trump’s offer of a key advisory role in his new government.

Five Guys make creamy mess all over Nigel Farage

A fresian of excitement has gripped Newcastle over the last few days, with the news that Nigel Farage would be visiting. The Brexit Party leader has been credited for realising politics cud be mooved...

Britain happy to be America’s toilet after Brexit and doesn’t fear a blockage

Dr Liam Fox is in America this week offering the United Kingdom up as America’s toilet, after Brexit, and sees no risk of a blockage. “Whenever you need to dump a load of hamburger we’ll...
Marxist Bedwetter

Opinions of Entitled Marxist Bedwetters No Longer Valued says LSE

Social Science lecturers from the LSE were told they would not be asked to contribute to government work and analysis on Brexit.

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