Michael Gove

We’re nothing like Michael Gove, insist Weasels

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Weasels are up in arms at being compared to Michael Gove after reading an article in The Telegraph today that speculated that he may have "weaselled" his way into Theresa May's cabinet.

Bands line up to celebrate Trump’s impeachment

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The Rochdale Herald can exclusively reveal the star studded line up already in place for celebrating the impeachment of Donald Trump, expected to take...

Car bombs not as bad as nicking stationery insists Martin ‘I’m a politician’ McGuiness

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Former number three in the Irish presidential election Seamus Martin Pointa McGuinness has resigned from his position as Deputy First Minister of Northern Ireland. The...
Michael Gove

Britons aghast at realisation that Brexit Bonus is Michael Gove as P.M.

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Ordinary, innocent Britons, along with many who voted Leave, were faced today with the horrendous realisation that the much vaunted 'Brexit Bonus' was likely...

UKIP elect Diane James leader

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UKIP have elected Diane James as their new leader. Apologies for our previous article that featured Mick Jagger from The Rollong Stones. Our intern Douglas has...

Time Team special feature digging for past evidence of honesty in British politics

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Tony Robinson is expected to take to Twitter this evening to announce an upcoming ‘Time Team’ special feature in which he and the gang...
Champagne Socialist

Champagne socialist accidentally reveals cost of scrapping tuition fees after drinking warm prosecco

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A Rochdale champagne socialist has accidentally revealed that the cost of scrapping tuition fees would be £100bn. Anthony Taylor-Twyford revealed the cost at a...

UK Benefits to be given to EVERY citizen of the Commonwealth due to admin...

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The government recently updated its IT infrastructure with shocking consequences potentially costing the UK economy billions. The glitch will see the 2.1 billion members of...
Queen and Philip

The Queen asks Merkel to form a government

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Her Majesty the Queen is expected to travel to Berlin later today to ask German Chancellor Angela Merkel to form a government for the...
Hospital

Tories promise extra floor space and 50,000 more coats in the 40 new hospitals...

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The Conservative Party has released its newest manifesto pledge to increase A&E floor space in the 40 hospitals they are definitely not building, as...

Leadsom’s Children ‘Huge Drain’ On The NHS, Blast Critics

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A new campaign has surfaced drawing attention to hyper-fertile Tory leadership hopeful Andrea Leadsom's penchant for bulking the national populace. Stop Leadsom Over Breeding for...
Paul Nuttall

Bottoms up for Nuttall

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In an unprecedented move, UKIP leader and shampoo user of the year 2008, Paul Nuttall, has finally come clean about his much debated past. "Now...
Beach

Government votes to go on holiday early after solving all UK’s problems

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Members of parliament have overwhelmingly voted to bring their summer break forward as a reward for having solved all of the UK's problems. The...

Anna Soubry appointed official Tory Deflector

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After Miss Soubry's stellar and wholly forgettable performance for the remain campaign, she was deemed perfect for the role. A tory deflector will typically take...

More Guardian Subscriptions Cancelled Over Fresh Crossword Slur

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Following yesterday's scandal that saw literally units of enraged Scotts cancelling their subscriptions, The Guardian's simple crossword this morning poured fresh fuel onto the...

Michael Gove is somebody’s favourite for something

Michael Gove's mum has spoken of her delight this morning after her son was described as somebody's favourite, including her's, for the first time...

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