Prime minister says, “Boris Johnson is not undermining me, I’m doing it all on...
The woman who thinks she's British prime minister stated clearly today, and repetitively, “Boris Johnson is not undermining me, I'm doing it all on...
David Davis hospitalised after failing to negotiate his way out of wet paper bag
It is reported that every staff member on the exercise rapidly ripped a hole into the side of the giant, wet paper bag and emerged unscathed and rejuvenated, except David Davis, who seemed to struggle.
Historians will look back at 2016 as a major catalyst. They won’t remember celebrity...
Whilst you were all distracted with American politics and the ins and outs of Article 50 being triggered, the government has passed the controversial...
Voters must provide family coat of arms as ID insists government
The government has been accused of the suppression of voters' rights after plans to introduce compulsory checks of a family coat of arms for...
‘Corporal punishment should be reinstated’ – people against Sharia law
A recent survey of lobotomised knuckle dragging fuck nuggets revealed that they are fighting against the values that they themselves hold most dear.
We caught...
Letter F dies of embarrassment during conference speech
Paramedics and specialists in typesetting were seen rushing to the site of a terrifying incident at the Conservative Party conference in Manchester earlier in...
Lords Punish May With Dance
Prime Minister Theresa May attempted to intimidate The Lords this evening with a “dance off”.
And failed terribly.
A furious May entered the Lords...
The only chemicals you can kills kids with are high explosives and white phosphorus,...
Following the outcry over the alleged chemical weapons attacks in Syria, the Pentagon have confirmed that the only legal chemicals you can use to...
Sacha Baron-Cohen amazed no one has seen through his Jeremy Corbyn character
Sacha Baron-Cohen has expressed amazement that no one has twigged that he is the man behind the character 'Jeremy Corbyn'.
"I wanted to play with...
Prime Minister not taking donations from millionaires for granted
The Tory spin doctors are especially busy this morning on the nation's airwaves ensuring everybody they are not taking yesterday's electoral results as a...
There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and Boris Johnson’s statistics
UK Statistics Authority have reaffirmed the old adage today that there are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and Boris Johnson's use of...
Blitz spirit redefined as refusing to get off bus because somebody has a milkshake
Nigel Farage has confirmed that when he or his party talk of 'the Blitz spirit' he is referring to the act of cowering on...
Nigel Farage thrilled to hold onto Question Time Seat
Nigel Farage has responded to criticism from Andrew Neill that Brexit Party no longer has a reason to exist following their total annihilation in the exit...
David Cameron to star in remake of Max Headroom
David Cameron is to take the lead role in a remake of cult 80's sci-fi film and TV show, Max Headroom sources close to...
ISIS win the war by leaving passports at home
America, Russia and the United Nations admitted defeat earlier today and proclaimed ISIS the winners of the global holy war.
President elect Trump has already...
Kaiser Chiefs hurriedly rerelease ‘I Predict a Riot’
As crowds of surprisingly calm protesters gather at Westminister to demand the resignation of the recently elected droid, Maybot 2.0, The Kaiser Chiefs are...
