Interest Rates Dropped From Naff All to Sweet FA
Bank of England catastrophe juggler, Mark Carney, made no change to interest rates this lunchtime.
Rochdale savers wondering exactly what this means have had things...
Conservative MP apologises for tweet alleging Corbyn was a politician in the 1980’s
The Conservative MP Ben Bradley has conceded that Jeremy Corbyn did no work as a Politician in the 1980’s and has agreed not to make the allegations again.
Get fit and beat inflation with subsistence farming and foraging, Top Tory tells poor
Tory ministers are expected to announce a three part plan to tackle obesity and food inflation later this week.
Ethnic cleanliness next to Godliness according to the DUP
The DUP were apparently acknowledging today the new opportunities opening up to them, with some pleasure.
DUP spokesmuppet Seamus Allways said "This is orr moment...
Exclusive CIA interview: Russia definitely baddies.
The Herald, your only reliable source for news these days, has yet again got the scoopiest of exclusives, today we interview the CIA...
David Cameron to star in remake of Max Headroom
David Cameron is to take the lead role in a remake of cult 80's sci-fi film and TV show, Max Headroom sources close to...
Brexit Party MEPs accidentally turn to face Mecca during national anthem
Brexit Party MEPs have apologised to their racists after accidentally turning to face Mecca as the European Parliament returned.
"It was an honest mistake and...
Nobody arsed about Green Party Manifesto leak
Last night a draft of Labour's election manifesto was leaked leading to pro Brexit outrage paper, The Daily Mail, drawing comparisons between Labour's proposed policies and...
May convinced she needs one more f*cking slogan to convince country to back austerity
The Prime Minister is said to be personally convinced another f*cking slogan will convince the entire country to back austerity.
Catchphrases repeated to the point...
Study finds brexit civil war would last as long as average mobility scooter battery...
A study of mobility scooter battery life has shown that a Brexiteer led civil war would last 9 hours. 6 if the battles were...
Amazon reports increase in sales of knives and sharpeners in run-up to Conference Season
Politicians up and down the country have been inundating Amazon with orders for back-stabbing knives, hatchets, whetstones and sharpening steels as they ready themselves...
Secretary of State for Education, Justine Greening shows concern for pupils “Not talk good”
In the UK, education has always been of paramount significance, on par with the National Health Service, or ensuring that MPs have enough income...
Trump eats baby in front of mother during rally
Donald Trump hit a new low today by disembowelling a newborn baby and eating her still beating heart like an apple after she interrupted...
Hipster twats demand clean shaven white twats condemn terror twats
Nathan Barley led calls today for clean shaven white twats to “take responsibility for their community.”
“It is imperative, at this time of national crisis,...
Conservative cabinet worried compensating fire survivors properly will just make them dependent on the...
Government emissions today suggest the Prime Minister and her cabinet are struggling to respond to last week's fire tragedy in a way that meshes...
Brexwhat? Say the Channel Islands
While the UK slowly goes into meltdown over leaving the EU the people of the Channel Islands are left scratching their heads wondering what...
