Golden sceptre

Trump orders Fabergé selfie-stick for inauguration

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In preparation for his inauguration ceremony, President elect Trump has commissioned Fabergé, the esteemed and historic jewellery makers to the Russian emperors, to craft...

Boris Johnson shocked to discover British Empire no longer exists

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Foreign Office officials have confirmed that Boris Johnson has finally accepted that the British Empire no longer exists, more than a year after he...

Pensioners advised to burn BBC licence fee fines to keep warm this winter

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The government, breaking a manifesto promise, has facilitated the scrapping of the free TV license for over 75s from 2020. "My pension doesn't cover the...

Letter F dies of embarrassment during conference speech

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Paramedics and specialists in typesetting were seen rushing to the site of a terrifying incident at the Conservative Party conference in Manchester earlier in...

Government to encourage more online petitions. 

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Prime Minister Theresa May has today launched a new initiative which will encourage people concerned with issues affecting them, their communities and the country...

Public Health Warning-Skittles Ban comes into effect.

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The popular sweets Skittles will today be banned from sale all across the world after news has emerged that just 3 of them contain...

Labour Proposes New Tax on Books

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Labour Party Central Office has announced that it would consider forcing book publishers to pay a levy to help pay for Momentum leaflets and...

Media blackout of J***** C***** continues

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All national media outlets are continuing with their agreement to stop any reporting of a certain well known political leader this week, who we...
Corbyn

Whatever gave you the impression I will deal with student debt asks man who...

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A man who distinctly said that he’d “deal with” student debt during an interview with the NME is curious to know why everybody was...
Supreme Court

Brex appeal May takes article 50 to Supreme Court

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The government took its case, that it doesn't need to seek permission from a democratic parliament to trigger a process which will alter the...

Child refugees can stay till after they’ve seen NHS Dentist

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Teenage child refugees completing their journey to the UK were breathed a huge sigh of relief after being told they could remain in the UK until they could secure an appointment with an NHS Dentist.

Scientists baffled as average IQ of North Korea drops 20% this afternoon

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SScientists around the world are struggling to make sense of strange information coming out of North Korea this afternoon after the average IQ of...
Rich People

Millionaires ‘very sorry’ following £70,000 fine

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A political party full of millionaires has said that the huge £70,000 fine they received for breaking electoral rules will really teach them a...
We're all going to die

We’re all going to die after Brexit, confirms Philip Hammond

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Remain voters around the country are said to be absolutely furious to learn that every single person who voted to remain in the European...

Supreme Court rules Theresa May is not allowed to break the law

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In a completely pointless landmark ruling costing millions the Supreme Court has had its final say. Brexit means Brexit, which means both the Houses Parliament...

David White follows The Rochdale Herald on Twitter

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The editorial team were said to be jubilant at the news this evening that former England, Leeds and Manchester City centre forward David White...

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