Idiot turns on News and now can’t sleep

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A man in Lancashire this evening accidentally turned on his television this evening to see Donald Trump leading Hillary Clinton in the polls in North Carolina and now definitely won't sleep.

Liberal Democrats now so wet they’re considered homeopathic

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A stink has been kicking up this week after the British Homeopathic Association were forced to distance themselves from the Liberal Democrats after a northern fake newspaper editor claimed The Lib Dems were less effective than homeopathy.

Trump Press Secretary buys fireproof underpants

1
The secret of Press Secretary Sean Spicer's propensity for hyperbolic bullshitacity has been revealed.  He has reportedly been wearing a revolutionary new type of asbestos...

?Britain First & UKIP oddly quiet about white family abusing student visa rules

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Quite why the public aren't offended by the white, middle class family trying to buck the immigration system is baffling academics as anti-immigration campaigners...
Marty McFly

Marty McFly and Dr Emmett Brown arrested for crimes against humanity for failing to...

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The time travelling duo, Marty McFly and Dr Emmett Brown, are currently being held in the custody of Sheriff James Strickland in Hill Valley, Northern California. Strickland...
Rees Mogg

Jacob Rees-Mogg frustrated by number of GDPR messenger pigeons arriving at his dovecot

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Conservative politician Jacob Rees-Mogg is said to have been left "apoplectic" earlier today after receiving several hundred carrier pigeon messages informing him of the...

Tests prove evolution has stopped among UKIP supporters

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Groundbreaking research at Rochdale Technical University's Institute of Genetic Engineering has confirmed that evolution has stopped working, and in some cases is being reversed,...
Science Class

DUP pushes to rename school classes in ‘Science’ as ‘Magic’

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There has been a legion of support for the move though, as it would spark pupil’s interest in the subject of science again.
Rats

Rats accuse Boris Johnson and David Davis of Cultural Appropriation

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Yesterday following a heated meeting over Brexit David Davis and Boris Johnson resigned from their positions as Minister for Brexit and Foreign Secretary respectively. The...

Britain To Close Controversial Island Refugee Centre

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Britain's oldest island refugee centre, Australia, is to be closed following reports of inhumane conditions and bonkers management. The centre, set up in 1770, has...
iPhone

Losers celebrate election victory

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The winners of the 2017 election are despondent today as they downheartedly celebrate their victory. “Yay. Fandabby bloody dozey,” said Conservative Unionist National Tory Society...
Crying Man

Irony pronounced dead after UKIP spokesman warns Corbyn Government would ‘take Britain back to...

12
Experts have announced that irony is dead. The announcement came after a UKIP MEP said that Britain would be plunged back to the early...
Guess Who

UKIP select new leader using Guess Who

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UKIP have announced their new leader having given the process over to the childrens game, Guess Who. UKIP member Cliff Edge said, "With dwindling membership...

Interest Rates Dropped From Naff All to Sweet FA

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Bank of England catastrophe juggler, Mark Carney, made no change to interest rates this lunchtime. Rochdale savers wondering exactly what this means have had things...
The Daily Mail

Reading the Daily Mail causes cancer of the soul

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Following sickening reports of yet another moron mowing down innocent pedestrians, the Daily Mail has excelled itself by implying that the victims were to...
Jeremy Hunt in the snow

Red Weather Warning as Conservative Politicians spotted with hands in own pockets

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With temperatures plummeting across the British Isles, many patriotic politicians are complaining at their lack of opportunities to escape the country. Conservative Politicians Jeremy Hunt,...

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