TRUMP POLE DANCERS

Trump hails Polish culture saying “Pole dancers are the best, I’m a huge fan,...

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US President Donald Trump Thursday attempted to cement US-Polish relations in a speech delivered in the Polish capital Warsaw on the first day of...

Dianne Abbott’s ex-husband confirms she often gets headaches

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Dianne Abbott's ex-husband has put to bed rumours that Dianne was merely pulling a sicky to avoid casting her vote for Article 50 by...

Full blown Brexit testing on monkeys halted after everything in lab just f*cking died

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David Davis, lead researcher in the government's secretive Brexit Lab, has announced that Brexit testing on monkeys has been halted after everything in the...
Obama and Biden

Obama and Biden spend last afternoon playing ‘hide the turd’ at White House

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Outgoing President and his VP Joe Biden have spent their last afternoon in office playing 'hide the turd' in The White House.

Unemployment figures fiddlers hit all time low

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The government is celebrating today as the figures released by the ONS show that unemployment as at its lowest since 1975 or something. “It’s a...
Theresa May

Conservative cabinet worried compensating fire survivors properly will just make them dependent on the...

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Government emissions today suggest the Prime Minister and her cabinet are struggling to respond to last week's fire tragedy in a way that meshes...

Former KGB thug Is UKIP leader’s hero

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Diane James, former Transvision Vamp singer current UKIP führer, says Vladimir Putin is one of her political heroes.  Speaking on The Sunday Politics, the Dot...

Britain To Close Controversial Island Refugee Centre

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Britain's oldest island refugee centre, Australia, is to be closed following reports of inhumane conditions and bonkers management. The centre, set up in 1770, has...

Government announces new mascot for Brexit Will of the People

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Brexit Minister, David Davis, today announced the launch of a new campaign which aims to give Britain's exit from the European Union a more...

Jacob Rees-Mogg completely opposed to jazz music and women in trousers under any circumstances

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During an appearance on The One Show this week, Conservative leadership favourite and plum-voiced time traveller, Jacob Rees-Mogg admitted his firm 1920s beliefs meant...

Tories to abolish hospital parking charges by abolishing hospitals

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The Tory Party has today promised to abolish hospital parking charges by abolishing hospitals. Tory manifesto spokesman, Bill Board told us, "We've done our research...
Donald Trump

President Trump tells reporter to ‘lick my donkey balls’ and denies Donald Trump jnr...

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Donald Trump mounted a sustained attack on the media during a fiery and at times chaotic news conference today, aggressively denying that Donald Trump...
Pigs

Brexit Party set for MEP gains. Scientists bring pig brains back from the dead

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Early opinion polls show a likely overall victory for the Brexit Party in the upcoming European Parliament elections.  Scientists have restored brain activity to...
Corbyn

Corbyn sacks last of Shadow Cabinet who didn’t resign last year

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In a shock move Friday Labour Leader Jeremy Corbyn sacked all of his shadow ministers who didn't resign last year in protest at his...

Putin, Trump, British American Tobacco & Belgium New 4 Horsemen as Pope reboots Apocalypse

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Trump, Putin, British American Tabaco and Belgium appointed new 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse.

Paul Nuttall Converted To Judaism

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Reports are circulating that investigators digging into the unbelievable past of the UKIP Leader have unearthed a 2004 MySpace page entry in which Paul Nuttall announced...

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