Corbyn’s reelection met with scenes of ecstatic jubilation

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There were scenes of unprecedented jubilation at the news of the corduroy communist Corbyn's reelection at Downing Street today. A spokes-Sloan for the Tory Party...

Nigel Farage in eleventh hour bid for International Twat of the Year Award

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Nigel Farage has made an eleventh hour bid to snatch the "International Twat of the Year Award" from Donald Trump.

Sturgeon First Reserve for Brexit Talks Peter Duncan

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Theresa May has committed to involving all "key stakeholders and significant leaders" in a working group on the UK's Brexit strategy.

White House confirms all its press staff do coke

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The White House has admitted today that all its press staff do coke. The admission comes after the latest mouthpiece for President Trump, Mr Scaramucci,...
face palm

Hammond to read policy documents before saying them out loud in future

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Phillip Hammond, for now at least Chancellor of the Exchequer, has announced that in future he will "have a butchers at" major policy documents...

Former KGB thug Is UKIP leader’s hero

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Diane James, former Transvision Vamp singer current UKIP führer, says Vladimir Putin is one of her political heroes.  Speaking on The Sunday Politics, the Dot...

Mr Tumble denounces Theresa May and says not in our name.

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Leading clowns have issued a joint statement confirming that Theresa May's latest attacks on migrants and the NHS are not part of traditional clown...
Rats

Rats accuse Boris Johnson and David Davis of Cultural Appropriation

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Yesterday following a heated meeting over Brexit David Davis and Boris Johnson resigned from their positions as Minister for Brexit and Foreign Secretary respectively. The...

Hunt solves NHS waiting list crisis with introduction of geological clock

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Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt has solved the problem of NHS waiting times by making hospitals use the geological clock.  After coming under increasing pressure from...
Westminster

Power hungry arseholes also pervy fuckers shocker

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The United Kingdom is in shock this week after an all-party think tank found that power hungry arseholes of all political persuasions are also...

Nigel Farage kicked out ‘Rochdale’s most Brexity pub’ for foreign sounding name

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The John Bull, formerly The Union, has conciously removed all traces of foreign influence. Gone are the continental café-style pavement tables. It no longer...

Argentina offers to invade Falklands Islands for £1B if that will help May?

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A man claiming to represent Argentina has allegedly phoned the British prime minister and said for £1 billion they will pretend to invade the...
Houses of Parliament

Government announces above-inflation pay rise for vital frontline MPs

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Chancellor Philip Hammond responds to calls to offer above-inflation pay rises to public sector workers in Westminster, after a survey revealed that four out...

Tommy Robinson claims free Milkshake during Warrington Campaign

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Pint sized, shouty, hater of brown people, Steven Yaxley-Lennon, better known by one of his dozen names 'Tommy Robinson' presumably to sound more British...

Leadsom’s Children ‘Huge Drain’ On The NHS, Blast Critics

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A new campaign has surfaced drawing attention to hyper-fertile Tory leadership hopeful Andrea Leadsom's penchant for bulking the national populace. Stop Leadsom Over Breeding for...

Smart Energy may help me keep job – says National Grid boss

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The new head of the National Grid, Nicola Shaw,  has today encouraged consumers to opt for "smart energy" devices which will enable her to...

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