Britain faces Sophie’s choice over which incompetent arsehole leads it

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Britain has revealed it is spoiled for choice on which incompetent aresehole it has leading it. A spokesman told us, "Everyone is cheering at the...

It’s not my fault there aren’t enough Marxists to win a by election insists...

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Following Labour's disastrous defeat in The Copeland by-election Jeremy Corbyn has responded to criticisms of his leadership of The Labour Party by assuring everybody it has nothing to do with his politics or his leadership.
Theresa May

Lessons not learned for out of touch May as she fails to show up...

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Critics have jumped on to Theresa May claiming that she is out of touch and still has not learned the lessons of the recent...
TRUMP POLE DANCERS

Trump hails Polish culture saying “Pole dancers are the best, I’m a huge fan,...

9
US President Donald Trump Thursday attempted to cement US-Polish relations in a speech delivered in the Polish capital Warsaw on the first day of...
Denis Skinner

Labour foreign policy just Dennis Skinner with a cricket bat

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Jeremy Corbyn's anti-Trident, peace before war principles have long caused concern amongst critics and fellow MPs. "He'll lie down and let anyone who wants to do...
Theresa May

May supported by Cabinet, which was put together by same carpenter who hung Conference...

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The PM today insisted that she is fully supported by her cabinet; a flat-pack Nordik 465 Ikea bedside cabinet in white Formica, that she...
Umunna

Paul Nuttall Has Chuka Umunna Running Scared for South London Seat

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Paul Nuttall gave an interview with a surprise this morning on the Today programme on BBC4. Asked if he would satisfy the curiosity of literally...
riot

Anarchists praise efficiency of German train network as G20 riots start on time

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The German city of Hamburg is hosting the 2017 G20 summit in which world leaders come together to discuss and agree on action on...
Corbyn

Sacha Baron-Cohen amazed no one has seen through his Jeremy Corbyn character

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Sacha Baron-Cohen has expressed amazement that no one has twigged that he is the man behind the character 'Jeremy Corbyn'. "I wanted to play with...

Britain happy to be America’s toilet after Brexit and doesn’t fear a blockage

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Dr Liam Fox is in America this week offering the United Kingdom up as America’s toilet, after Brexit, and sees no risk of a...
Cat

Dead mice brought in by cats to be declared part of household income in...

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Cat-owners are now being asked to count any rodents or birds left on their doorstep as declarable earnings in their application for means-tested benefits,...
Michael Gove

Gove is still bonkers, say experts

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Michael Gove decided to stand up for those whose lack of self awareness is pathological today.
theresa nay laughing

I don’t mean to brag, I don’t mean to boast, but I destroy fields...

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Reinvigorated Prime Minister takes back control; promises strong Tory programme to boost food banking sector "Listen up you detestable worms, you aren't going to get...
Badgers

Badgers vote for cull of Conservative MPs

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Radical badgers have declared Dingley Dell an independent sovereign state and have threatened violent action against Conservative MPs in response to the continuing cull. The...

Child refugees can stay till after they’ve seen NHS Dentist

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Teenage child refugees completing their journey to the UK were breathed a huge sigh of relief after being told they could remain in the UK until they could secure an appointment with an NHS Dentist.
Westminster

Voters must provide family coat of arms as ID insists government

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The government has been accused of the suppression of voters' rights after plans to introduce compulsory checks of a family coat of arms for...

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