John McDonnell caught on film pushing Diane Abbott under bus while out jogging

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John McDonell has been embroiled in a bizarre cover up involving himself and Diane Abbot
Marxist Bedwetter

Opinions of Entitled Marxist Bedwetters No Longer Valued says LSE

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Social Science lecturers from the LSE were told they would not be asked to contribute to government work and analysis on Brexit.
Law

Britain free from the ‘shackles of Brussels’ as it adopts every European law

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Britain is going to reclaim its sovereignty and make itself great again by sticking two fingers up at Europe and adopting every law and...

Trump thrilled crowds at his German rallies bigger than Obama’s

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President Donald Trump has spoken of his delight at how many people have come onto the streets of Hamburg to welcome him to Germany. The...

Police Commissioner Confirms Police To Desist From Arresting People Doing Nothing Wrong

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South Yorkshire Police Commissioner Adam Spillings went on record today as saying his force would no longer be arresting tree campaigners for doing nothing...

Self-proclaimed ‘bestest dealmaker’ fails to do deal with Bruce Springsteen cover band

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Idiots across America who voted for Trump because he told them he was really good at doing deals are surprised by the news he hasn't been able to do a deal with a Bruce Springsteen tribute band.

Exclusive CIA interview: Russia definitely baddies.

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The Herald, your only reliable source for news these days, has yet again got the scoopiest of exclusives, today we interview the CIA...

People nobody has heard of resign from party that no longer has purpose

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UKIP, the party whose sole purpose was to foster the UK public to vote to leave the EU- which happened despite them- is apparently...

Priti Patel congratulates Boris Johnson on arrival of 3001005789th baby boy

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Priti Patel, Minister for whatever the heck it is she does has been one of the first Government Ministers to congratulate Boris Johnson and...
Professor

Nobody could have done better than Corbyn, says Nobody

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Nobody, who is the shadow secretary of state for Northern Ireland, claimed today that, had he been Labour leader, Labour could have won the...
Theresa May

Theresa May thrilled that Russia thinks she’s competent enough to stage poisoning

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Bill Board, spokesman for the Government, has told The Rochdale Herald that Theresa May is privately thrilled that the Russian Government has accused her...
Ivanka and Donald Trump

Ivanka says: I Could Be The Pretty President After G20 Power Play

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Speculation is rife in Washington D.C. that Ivanka Trump is pondering throwing her hat in the ring for the 2020 Presidential election circus.    After...

Burger King announce 126oz Presidential Milkshake for Trump visit

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Popular scarfing establishment Burger King has announced a new super-sized 126 ounce milkshake, to be released on Jun 2nd in time for the visit...

NHS Funding: Less is more insists Jeremy Hunt

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A government source told us yesterday that  robot eyed shitkicker Jeremy Hunt has decided to take a more philosophical approach to the NHS crisis. Dr...
Theresa May

UK to hold referendum on whether or not to carry on pretending May knows...

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The Home Office announced this morning that voters in the U.K. will be asked to tick yes or no again in a referendum shortly....

Public unsure what to believe after Nuttall admits ‘Everything I say is a lie’

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In another reputation-busting move, Paul Nuttall has stumped logicians and shocked the wider world with the classic Liar's or Epimenides Paradox by saying; "Everything I...

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