Car bombs not as bad as nicking stationery insists Martin ‘I’m a politician’ McGuiness

4
Former number three in the Irish presidential election Seamus Martin Pointa McGuinness has resigned from his position as Deputy First Minister of Northern Ireland. The...
Rees Mogg

Height supremacists promise New World Order will be with us shortly

9
Growing support for alt-height movement Height Supremacists have a new doyen in the shape of Sixtus Rees-Mogg. Rees-Mogg initially attracted support with a very modern...
Trump Baby

Trump eats baby in front of mother during rally

2
Donald Trump hit a new low today by disembowelling a newborn baby and eating her still beating heart like an apple after she interrupted...
Gays

Dead gays thrilled at posthumous pardons for jail terms and chemical castrations

1
Dead gays celebrated accross the country today as the 'Alan Turing Law' was unveiled by government, effectively absolving them of wrong doing for having a...
Rees Mogg

Jacob Rees-Mogg late for PMQ’s because he couldn’t find anywhere to park his horse.

18
Jacob Rees-Mogg apologised to the Prime Minster today, after arriving late for the PMQ’s at Westminster. Running over 25 minutes late; Rees-Mogg blamed the lack...
Gibraltar

Gibraltar dispute with Spain jeopardises Leave voters’ retirement plans

0
Come and have a go if you think your armada enough After nearly two years of complaining about the hard line EU negotiator Michel Barnier...

Corbyn treated for dizziness after performing student debt pirouette on Andrew Marr Show

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Jeremy Corbyn is reported to be recovering this afternoon after suffering a severe bout of dizziness following the performance of a pirouette on student...

 MP who understands difference between dinner and tea appointed Secretary for the North

0
Theresa May has now got involved in the political hot potato that is The North / South divide. For many in the current government, the...
Rich People

Millionaires ‘very sorry’ following £70,000 fine

0
A political party full of millionaires has said that the huge £70,000 fine they received for breaking electoral rules will really teach them a...

That’s it I’m done in this realm – Satan

0
His most eminent dark overlord, Satan, has asked The Rochdale Herald to issue the following statement: "I had 2 bottles of Jackie Dee and wrote...

Trump claims Blacks, Latinos and Women are rigging the election by voting

0
America braces itself tonight after it was revealed that not just White rednecks are eligible to vote.

Priti Patel congratulates Boris Johnson on arrival of 3001005789th baby boy

0
Priti Patel, Minister for whatever the heck it is she does has been one of the first Government Ministers to congratulate Boris Johnson and...

Matt Hancock adds Straw Clutching to his cv as “transferable skill”

0
Hot on the heels of Boris Johnson's success in the Stable Door Shutting championships, the Health Secratary, Matt Hancock has added Straw Clutching to...
Ferrero Roche

Nigel Farage spends £1,000 on Ferrero Rocher ‘just in case’

0
Far right stringless Thunderbird puppet and multi-millionaire Dulwich educated ex-banker and man of the people Nigel Farage reportedly bought the middle class toffees straight...

Donald Trump Jr upset by chants of ‘lock him up’ from Donald Trump Snr

0
Donald Trump Jr has allegedly complained that President Trump keeps chanting 'lock him up' at him. Trump Junior made a complaint to a White House...

Theresa May’s password ‘strongandstable’ easiest to guess say hackers

5
In the wake of the recent cyber-attacks on parliament, we have learned a lot. For starters, the reason Theresa May keeps saying “strong and...

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