Idiot turns on News and now can’t sleep
A man in Lancashire this evening accidentally turned on his television this evening to see Donald Trump leading Hillary Clinton in the polls in North Carolina and now definitely won't sleep.
Tony Blair on the shortlist for Nobel Peace Prize
Former Prime Minister Anthony Charles Lynton "Tony" Blair has been spotted on this year's Nobel Peace Prize shortlist.
Famous for his support of fun loving...
Gun sales rise 300% ahead of Trump Inauguration
American gun sales have enjoyed a steep rise in the days leading up to the President elect's inauguration.
"It's almost 200% more than when Bush...
Socialism just a phase says privately educated Cambridge graduate Blairite quitting Labour for V&A
Tristram Hunt had "returned to the fold" and told his friends and family that "his life a socialist was just a phase".
New Far Right Perfume Released.
In order to capitalise on the mood of the country at the moment, the ex-UKIP leader Nigel Farage is to release a new perfume...
World leaders tackle climate change with massive party and flights home on private jets
The world's elite gave their 100% commitment to climate change this Monday by having a colossal piss up then returning to all corners of...
Full blown Brexit testing on monkeys halted after everything in lab just f*cking died
David Davis, lead researcher in the government's secretive Brexit Lab, has announced that Brexit testing on monkeys has been halted after everything in the...
Dead refugees welcome say Home Office
Refugees will be welcome to Great Britain providing they are dead, under a new scheme announced by the Home Office.
The new measures, expected to...
Auschwitz could be next Centre Parcs if they just knock down the gas chambers
A Government official is alleged to have told an audience at a fringe event of the Conservative Party conference that Auschwitz could become a...
OFSTED Chair in hot water over Rochdale “toilet block” comments?
Ofsted chairman and former complete banker David W Hoare is in hot water again after, according to our anonymous source, allegedly describing our beloved...
Labour MP Needs To Bathe In Ocean
Wanky-named cod impersonator and Labour MP Thangar Debonairre (ironically in charge of modern culture!) was recently told to "Get in the sea," by a...
Teenager born in 2000 looks forward to enjoying retiring in 2120
Today the government announced that plans to change to the state pension retirement age to 68 will take effect in 2037, 7 years earlier...
Diane Abbott suspended from Labour Party for calling Tory Front Bench ‘crackers’
Labour Shadow Home Secretary, Diane Abbott, has been suspended from the party after it emerged she was accused of using a racist slur during...
Putin Accused in Rogue One Plan Hack Report
Emperor Palpatine has sensationally accused Russia of interfering in the internal affairs of the Galactic Empire.
He has warned that the Empire will retaliate for...
Dominic Raab warns against travel to Iran and other Scandinavian countries
The foreign secretary Dominic Raab has warned British nationals not to travel to Iran or any other Scandinavian countries following last week's US airstrikes...
The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Simon Danczuk
It's been a fairly typical week for Rochdale's "MP" after he found himself at the centre of another embarrassing shit storm.
In another in a...
