Titanic

British shipping businesses not optimistic enough about massive iceberg heading for Atlantic say Brexit...

2
The Brexit lobby has claimed the trillion tonne iceberg heading for the Atlantic from Antarctica is a challenge to British shipping interests to put...

May must undergo final quest before triggering Article 50.

0
The Prime Minister faces another Brexit challenge today as it is revealed Royal Assent was not the final requirement to begin negotiations with the...

City of Brighton & Hove to be shortened by 1 metre after Brexit

0
Residents of Brighton & Hove were shocked to discover plans to shorten their city by 1 metre along it's East/West axis following Brexit. In 1972,...
Theresa May

Theresa May announces “peace in our time” following historic call with President Trump

0
Theresa May has finally been able to speak to President-elect Donald Trump after 24 hours on hold listening to elevator music.

Nigel Farage to become the fourth Mrs. Donald Trump

0
The ‘Special Relationship’ between the United States and Britain is likely to get a lot stronger thanks to the efforts of Nigel Farage. He is to become the fourth Mrs. Donald Trump.
Ladder

Trump’s view on border wall evolves after learning the word ‘ladder’

8
Donald Trump has sensationally dropped his controversial border wall plan, a key election promise, after seeing one of his Mexican labourers use a ladder for the first time.

Breaking News: Hundreds of MP’s feared dead in Catastrophic Westminster fire

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This could be the headline if the Houses of Parliament aren't upgraded. A one off special of the show 'Homes Under The Hammer' will be...
Hippies Hippy

Cornwall in Crisis as more middle class hippies leaving than arriving since Brexit

0
Cornwall is in crisis as studies show, for the first time in a generation, more middle-class old hippies are leaving than arriving. One local, Anni...

Million chimps on typewriters still haven’t come up with Brexit plan

1
In an undisclosed location somewhere in an underground catacomb deep under Westminster, project Megachimp has been underway for several months now. It's aim; to...

Nick Clegg and the Rise of the Alt-Righteous

0
The Alt-Righteous, or Always Terribly Self-Righteous, are a loose group of people claiming uber-liberal ideologies but with somewhat different behaviours. They vehemently reject mainstream opinions...

ISIS win the war by leaving passports at home

0
America, Russia and the United Nations admitted defeat earlier today and proclaimed ISIS the winners of the global holy war. President elect Trump has already...

Westminster fury as MPs told six week wait to process expenses claims

1
There were raucous scenes at Westminster yesterday as several MPs were advised that a new system for processing expenses meant a six week wait...

Sex worker and fruit picker tops post-Brexit career options

5
According to a press release from the Federated Institution of Associated School Careers Officers, the Brexit Plan simplifies future British employment opportunities to sex work...

Remainers lead campaign to remove warning labels from household chemicals and rerun Brexit referendum

0
It's been revealed that remainers are leading a campaign to remove warning labels from household chemicals. It's believed that this is part of their...

Three Tenors worth only £17.93 after Brexit

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Outraged music lovers everywhere have been devastated by the news that Brexit will cause the Three Tenors to be devalued to £17.93. Observers have noted...

Poppy Squad to begin patrolling UK streets from next week

27
Poppy Enforcement Directive Officers (PEDO's) are to begin patrolling the UK's streets from next week, the Government has announced. The officers, obese men dressed in...

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