Foxes Just ‘Scarves With Legs’ Says Tory Think-Tank
During the snap election called by Theresa May one controversial proposal to emerge from the Tory manifesto was the abolishment of the fox-hunting ban....
Loathsome Tory bastard calls for end to public sector pay cap
Boris Johnson has taken the lead in the call to end the public sector pay cap in response to the clear mandate delivered by...
Antarctical 50 signed, Bergxit means Bergxit
Today an area four times the size of London has broken away from the Antarctic landmass. It is a worrying example of rising sea...
Trump says he didn’t sexually assault 3.52 billion other women
Bewigged bouffant buffoon, Donald J. Trump, an actual potential president, made the claim at his latest rally.
The tiny handed eater of souls came under...
Amber Rudd launches Hate Thy Neighbour initiative
Amber Rudd announced plans today to crack down on the current outbreak of human compassion sweeping the country.
Compassion has been on the rise recently...
Government announces above-inflation pay rise for vital frontline MPs
Chancellor Philip Hammond responds to calls to offer above-inflation pay rises to public sector workers in Westminster, after a survey revealed that four out...
British automakers to make english sparkling wine for export to Japan after Brexit
Boris Johnson, acting Prime Minister, has followed up Theresa May’s success in Japan by reassuring Japanese business lobbies British automakers can produce enough english...
Liberal Metropolitan Elite plan to rig election goes awry when Hermes deliver rubbers to...
The Liberal Metropolitan Elite was reeling last night when a delivery of 2 million rubbers was delivered to the wrong address.
The Elite were allegedly planning...
London in crisis as Brexit threatens to make house prices affordable
One of the many mysteries wrapped up inside the "Brexit means Brexit" enigma has been revealed. To the overwhelming delight of the capital's aspirational...
Boris Johnson to base Brexit negotiations on Pogs
Boris Johnson has revealed that the UK's Brexit negotiations will be based on Pogs.
The Foreign Secretary and Bertie Wooster of the Conservative Party told Robert Peston...
Trump administration to ban 1984 and burn Fahrenheit 451
The United States Federal Communications Commission (FCC) will be confiscating all copies of George Orwell’s novel 1984 and burning all copies of Ray Bradbury’s Fahrenheit 451,...
Interest Rates Dropped From Naff All to Sweet FA
Bank of England catastrophe juggler, Mark Carney, made no change to interest rates this lunchtime.
Rochdale savers wondering exactly what this means have had things...
Paul Nuttall Converted To Islam
Paul Nuttall has retracted a claim on his Facebook page from 2009 that
he converted to Islam after sharing a kebab with Mohammed Ali.
"I never...
New UKIP leader elected yesterday already 3rd longest serving leader behind both Nigel Farages
Mr Henry Bolt-on was celebrating tonight after having managed the milestone event of third longest serving UKIP leader, even though he was only elected...
Bands line up to celebrate Trump’s impeachment
The Rochdale Herald can exclusively reveal the star studded line up already in place for celebrating the impeachment of Donald Trump, expected to take...
Owen Smith has beaten off 1,200 young boys – says Owen Smith
Owen Smith has caused another Labour controversy in parliament after beating off hundreds of boys in an attempt to pull his wife.
Mr. Smith told...
