Losers celebrate election victory
The winners of the 2017 election are despondent today as they downheartedly celebrate their victory.
“Yay. Fandabby bloody dozey,” said Conservative Unionist National Tory Society...
Theresa May – the facts
Theresa May - the facts
She is planning to get Hello magazine to do an exclusive of her luxury life in No 10
2. She...
Failure To Recognise Ant And Dec Improves Corbyn’s Ratings
All the hard political questions have now been thrown at Jeremy Corbyn and Owen Smith in their hustings, including asking if they recognised Ant...
American lawmakers to submerge Donald Trump in barrel of water to see if he...
It was announced today via The USA news site that Donald Trump will be immersed in a barrel of water to see if he...
New UKIP leader elected yesterday already 3rd longest serving leader behind both Nigel Farages
Mr Henry Bolt-on was celebrating tonight after having managed the milestone event of third longest serving UKIP leader, even though he was only elected...
Full blown Brexit testing on monkeys halted after everything in lab just f*cking died
David Davis, lead researcher in the government's secretive Brexit Lab, has announced that Brexit testing on monkeys has been halted after everything in the...
Hitler “off his tits on smack” claims book
A new book about Chaplin-tached proto-Trump, Adolf Hitler, has claimed that he and his fetishist cohorts were totally out of their shiny bonces on...
Passports to be made in France as British firm De La Rue ruled out...
Home Office confirms Franco-Dutch firm Gemalto will make Bleu passports.
Controversy struck the UK this week after a mix up at the Home Office led...
Miliband secures votes of hen-pecked husbands and nagging wives by doing housework for votes
Ed Miliband has vowed to do the dishes, take the rubbish out to the bin and mow lawns for every member in his North Doncaster...
Owen Smith thrilled with shiny new campaign bus
Owen Smith is said to be delighted with his shiny new campaign bus.
"It's brilliant!" he sang. "It shits all over Corbyn's campaign bike"
Smith drew...
Pet lovers left feline annoyed by introduction of Cat Licenses
Today the government announced the controversial plan to tax all cat owners by making cat licenses mandatory.
The move could bring a much needed £89...
David Davis replaced as Brexit negotiator by two short planks
The government announced this morning that Chief Brexit negotiator David Davis is to be replaced by two short planks.
It's believed the replacement of Mr....
Corbyn tells press conference if you strike me down I will become more powerful...
Following Theresa May's unsurprising announcement of a snap general election, Jeremy Corbyn has made a press statement.
Stood in front of a dozen media representatives he said;
"We...
Essex dog fears for future after hands-on meeting with Prime Minister
Essex - A black and white border collie from Sonning, Essex was reported to be safe in protective custody after being accosted by the...
Simon Danczuk expected to volunteer as UKIP teenage pussy inspector
"Although I'm a Labour candidate, I'll throw my support behind UKIP and volunteer to inspect teenage girls vaginas." Said local full time pornography enthusiast...
Donald Trump ends democracy in America
I’ve decided Ivanka will come after me. I mean, she’s hot, and she has my gift with politics, so she’s the perfect choice
