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Labour to campaign for Liberal Democrats in June 8th General Election

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Diane Abbott was resurrected this afternoon to speak to a journalist of sorts, on the BBC. Ms Abbott used one of her last possible...

Britain leaves E.U. in last night’s dress and no tights

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At 6.30 this morning, Britain hailed a taxi while attempting to wipe off the worst of last night's make-up, confident in the knowledge that...

Breaking News: Hundreds of MP’s feared dead in Catastrophic Westminster fire

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This could be the headline if the Houses of Parliament aren't upgraded. A one off special of the show 'Homes Under The Hammer' will be...
Dictionary entry for word "definition"

Revealed! What ‘Brexit’ means.

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After months of denying that 'Brexit' could be defined in terms of anything other than being 'Brexit', the Government has finally announced what, in...
Blue Passport

A blue passport is an integral part of being British, says bloke who’s never...

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The great victory that is Brexit has delivered old-style blue passport covers to the grateful people. Rejoicing Brits across the country have been applying...
Shrugging Man

No manifesto better than a bad manifesto say Conservatives

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Confusion reigns following the Queen's Speech as the Tories deny all knowledge of a manifesto that may, or may not, have existed prior to...

Dirty Danczuk disappoints again

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Weary Rochdale let out yet another groan of despair after yet more revelations of the serial text pest and pornography enthusiast Simon Danczuk's sex...
Theresa May

May is a dead duck pushing a white elephant, says Lord Harris

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Carpet magnate Lord Harris has given May a high-quality luxury carpeting. "May is a dead duck pushing a white elephant" is not quite what...

UKIP Needs Image Change, Says Rest of UK.

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The UK has today agreed with former UKIP leadership challenger Suzanne Evans when she said the party needed an image change. Preferably to a...
Trump standing at lectern.

I’m President of what? Asks Donald Trump

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After the shock of winning the popularity contest "President Factor", President elect Trump has now talked about his next career move. We asked him...
Adolf Hitler

Hitler “off his tits on smack” claims book

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A new book about Chaplin-tached proto-Trump, Adolf Hitler, has claimed that he and his fetishist cohorts were totally out of their shiny bonces on...
Corbyn

Jeremy Corbyn is a bit shit, admits former Momentum leader Robbie Tomlinson

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Former Rochdale Momentum leader, Robbie Tomlinson, whose real name is Stuart Taxley-Gibbon, has admitted today that Jeremy Corbyn, leader of the Labour Party, is...

Ed Millibland’s Tombstone to be Used for Thousands of Homes

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The polls that are currently condemning Jeremy Corbyn to fail once predicted success for the socially inept, humanoid shaped play doh figure, Ed Millibland.  It's...

Chances of Patel having job by Christmas looking Priti grim

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Theresa May's office has commented on the departure from the usual policy of ministers confining themselves to work on behalf of the country, and...
Gibraltar

Gibraltar dispute with Spain jeopardises Leave voters’ retirement plans

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Come and have a go if you think your armada enough After nearly two years of complaining about the hard line EU negotiator Michel Barnier...

ISIS applies for FIFA membership

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The murderous psychopathic caliphate known as ISIS has applied to join the world football governing body, FIFA.  In a surprise move, they hope to be...

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