Conservatives pledge ‘free pots’ for poor to piss in
In the latest Tory manifesto promise benefit claimants and people earning less than minimum wage are to be sent a free chamber pot.
Current Work and...
Tory MP resigns because government is a bit conservative
Conservative MP Stephen Phillips, who has represented Sleaford and North Hyekham, in Lincolnshire for 6 years has resigned.
The word in Westminster is the barrister...
Boris overheard telling King Felipe of Spain ‘NO GIVO BACKO, CAPICHE’ whilst pointing at...
Boris Johnson has unveiled his diplomatic plan to engage with King Felipe and Queen Letizia over Brexit negotiations at a state meal.
Johnson told the...
Britain free from the ‘shackles of Brussels’ as it adopts every European law
Britain is going to reclaim its sovereignty and make itself great again by sticking two fingers up at Europe and adopting every law and...
Badgers vote for cull of Conservative MPs
Radical badgers have declared Dingley Dell an independent sovereign state and have threatened violent action against Conservative MPs in response to the continuing cull.
The...
Donald Trump to appear on Jeremy Kyle Show
Jeremy Kyle was said to be jubilant this morning after securing an exclusive appearance by Donald Trump.
The show which is titled "Five children by...
New American National Anthem Unveiled As ‘Donald Donald Uber Alles’
The United States is getting a new national anthem, it has been announced. An executive order has been signed replacing the old anthem, The...
May sets UK up for long March to Brexit
Theresa May’s Conservative government have quite literally meddled with time in their pursuit of successfully completing Brexit according to their timetable.
The Conservative party used their parliamentary...
ISIS withdraw from Iraq after Blair’s return to politics announcement
Tony Blair yesterday announced that he intended to fill a massive hole and that after that he'd return to British politics.
In an interview he...
Theresa May rehearsing upcoming Brexit u-turn while on hill walking holiday
"It will be my most challenging about face yet." The Prime Minister is reported to have informed her cabinet as they prepared to disband...
Country takes pity on Ginger Labour MP
After Labour MP Jared O’Mara had his sexual fantasies broadcast for all to see, the entire country has donated to a crowdfunding page to...
Theresa May to raise voting age to 35
Senior Tory advisors, still reeling from Thursday's disastrous election result which provided a hung parliament, are said today to be telling the prime minister Theresa May that something serious has to be done about Britain's broken electoral system.
Farage to appeal to younger voters by calling them all wankers
Nigel Farage has unveiled his latest plans to broaden UKIP's appeal amongst young voters. Phase one will see Farage travel round the country calling...
Football referees warned not to go against the will of the people
Following criticism of High Court Judges 'interfering' in the Brexit process, the Football Association have decided to get rid of football referees.
"We don't need...
Trump appoints David Duke to head Black Lives Don’t Matter initiative
Dr David Duke, former Grand Dragon of the Ku Klux Klan, Senate hopeful and all American Nazi Screwball, has accepted President Elect Donald Trump’s offer of a key advisory role in his new government.
Jeremy Corbyn thrilled to get through to judges houses
The election result has seen Jeremy Corbyn in a new light and he is hoping to continue this form into the next stage of...
