Politics

Posh fop-headed press gob and Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson has defended the countless insults and faux pas he has made by claiming that each and every one was taken out of context Just in what...

With Theresa May's grasp on power reduced to the nail varnish on one finger, the candidates to replace her have been formally announced. Weighing in at 18 stone 7 lb and standing 5ft 2 and...

Nigel Farage has confirmed that when he or his party talk of 'the Blitz spirit' he is referring to the act of cowering on the top deck of a bus because somebody has been...

The iconic Christmas tale has been edited by the new government department to 'instill a sense of fiscal caution' in the nation's youth. The new story will see a generous Ebenezer Scrooze frittering away money...

The DUP were apparently acknowledging today the new opportunities opening up to them, with some pleasure. DUP spokesmuppet Seamus Allways  said "This is orr moment in history, so it is. We now have the parrr...

The ‘Special Relationship’ between the United States and Britain is likely to get a lot stronger thanks to the efforts of Nigel Farage. He is to become the fourth Mrs. Donald Trump.

A man who distinctly said that he’d “deal with” student debt during an interview with the NME is curious to know why everybody was under the impression that he planned to deal with student...

As crowds of surprisingly calm protesters gather at Westminister to demand the resignation of the recently elected droid, Maybot 2.0, The Kaiser Chiefs are set to release their 2004 hit 'I Predict a Riot'. The...

Boris Johnson's girlfriend has apparently told a befuddled Boris Johnson that leave means leave during a heated row at her flat in the early hours of this morning. Despite explaining that "leave" means "get out"...

Concern that America is falling behind Russia in the pay-for-sex industry was allayed last night after President Donald J Trump announced a new ‘hooker race’ with market leaders Russia. “Russian prostitutes have been, in my...

Like the irritating eager new guy at work, dark Sith Lord and unelected PM, Theresa May, announced a snap general election 15 minutes before she was supposed to at 11:00am, pissing everyone right off. Surrounded...

Nicola Sturgeon sensationally called for an independence referendum after a house came seemingly from nowhere and landed on her sister. Speaking through an interpreter she said to Theresa May "I'll get you my pretty! You...

Professor Cliff Edge has been quick out of the blocks today to reassure the public that the pound hitting an eight year low against the Euro is nothing to do with Brexit. “We haven't even...

Graduates of the world famous British University of Life expressed their outrage this morning after top Eurocrat tyrant Mickie “the barb” Barnier threatened them with further education. “They are going to be stood at the...

There was anger in parliament last night as the government narrowly defeated a motion by the Labour Party to end the cap on public sector pay rises by 323 votes to 309. The government's narrow...

Government announces all heroes to be paid in rounds of applause. The first decisive vote in the new session of parliament was passed yesterday with a majority of 14 votes. It is a significant win...