Whole UK Economy resting on single PPI claim

0
After the referendum on leaving the EU the treasury scrambled quickly to try and formulate a plan.  "No one actually thought the plebs would defy...
Downing Street

DUP advises British Gas customers to burn witches and Catholics to keep warm this...

41
Princess Diana's body is to be exhumed and hung on a gibbet outside Buckingham Palace to commemorate the 20th anniversary of the last witch-hunt...

Steve Bannon Torn Over Best Way To F*ck The Disabled

1
Following reports that Donald Trump will no longer repeal an Executive Order protecting LGBT rights, White House insiders have revealed that his Chief Strategist,...
Rees Mogg

Jacob Rees-mogg urged to fund charity ‘The Rees-mogg Foundation for mothers who conceive via...

0
Jacob Rees-mogg was urged today to fund a new charity to back up his assertion that life begins at conception, and no matter how...
Theresa May

Parliament email hack reveals 75% of May’s emails contain phrase “cocking fuck, what fresh...

11
Penetration of the heart of government by dodgy Russian hacker types has allowed innovative research. Statistical analysis of the government's emails has been published today...
Champagne Socialist

Champagne socialist accidentally reveals cost of scrapping tuition fees after drinking warm prosecco

3
A Rochdale champagne socialist has accidentally revealed that the cost of scrapping tuition fees would be £100bn. Anthony Taylor-Twyford revealed the cost at a...

Trump demands to be “Showered in Gold” during UK visit

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  The spokesman explained that, during his visit in October, President Trump will be shown all the normal formalities accorded to a visiting US president. These include a...

Satan refuses cabinet position in reshuffle

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In a surprising turn of events Satan has declined an offer to join Theresa May's new cabinet saying it would be "damaging" to his reputation.

Gay sex not a sin if you keep your socks on says Tim Farron

9
Liberal Democrat leader Tim Farron says he does not believe gay sex is a sin "as long as you don't push back". Mr Farron said...
Boris Johnson

Boris overheard telling King Felipe of Spain ‘NO GIVO BACKO, CAPICHE’ whilst pointing at...

27
Boris Johnson has unveiled his diplomatic plan to engage with King Felipe and Queen Letizia over Brexit negotiations at a state meal. Johnson told the...
Fur

Foxes Just ‘Scarves With Legs’ Says Tory Think-Tank

0
During the snap election called by Theresa May one controversial proposal to emerge from the Tory manifesto was the abolishment of the fox-hunting ban....

London prime ministerial fatberg is too strong and stable to shift

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Following the news that a massive lump of fat, plastic and waste material is blocking London's sewer works, the Rochdale Herald spoke to an...
David Davis

David Davis replaced as Brexit negotiator by two short planks

21
The government announced this morning that Chief Brexit negotiator David Davis is to be replaced by two short planks. It's believed the replacement of Mr....

Auschwitz could be next Centre Parcs if they just knock down the gas chambers

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A Government official is alleged to have told an audience at a fringe event of the Conservative Party conference that Auschwitz could become a...

Sturgeon triggers IndyRef 2 after house lands on sister

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Nicola Sturgeon sensationally called for an independence referendum after a house came seemingly from nowhere and landed on her sister. Speaking through an interpreter she...

Theresa May speaks to Herald – exclusive!

6
The Prime Minister has faced many difficulties over the past weeks - Brexit, terrorist attacks in Manchester and London, a poor election showing and...

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