We either hunt foxes or your children says Theresa May
With the Conservatives promising a return of hunting foxes all over the nation face having to run from a vicious pack of slobbering, howling posh twats...
EU to Trigger “Article 51” & Offer Britain “A Job in Telesales” After Trump...
Donald Tusk, President if the EU Commission, has said that Britain can have "a special relationship" with the EU which includes all telesales, street canvassing and "hygiene services" jobs following Donald Trump's victory.
Theresa May sets new record for least informative interview
Theresa May, the first unelected Prime Minister to have deliberately had her hair cut into the shape of a bell end has given an...
£1.3 billion Cameron scheme a failure
A scheme launched in 2012 by Cameron's government as a response to the 2011 riots has been an unmitigated failure, according to a report...
UK to hold referendum on whether or not to carry on pretending May knows...
The Home Office announced this morning that voters in the U.K. will be asked to tick yes or no again in a referendum shortly....
Brex appeal May takes article 50 to Supreme Court
The government took its case, that it doesn't need to seek permission from a democratic parliament to trigger a process which will alter the...
No Government is Better than a Bad Government, says May
Theresa May made the announcement after exit polls suggest that no single party will be able to form a government. "Let me be very...
Boris Johnson feared dead?
Rumours are rife today that the comical floppy haired Brexit buffoon Boris Johnson may have popped his clogs. It's been weeks now since he has...
I’m President of what? Asks Donald Trump
After the shock of winning the popularity contest "President Factor", President elect Trump has now talked about his next career move. We asked him...
Having cake and eating it disappointment intensifies
A group of Rochdale toddlers are stamping their feet and crying after they were told that they cannot have their cake and eat it.
The...
Jeremy Corbyn crowned 2016 House of Commons Hide and Seek Champion
Jeremy Corbyn has won this year's Parliamentary Hide and Seek championship, after only emerging after everyone had stopped looking.
“You’ve got to give the Morning...
UKIP Historian reveals Russia didn’t invade Afghanistan and Hitler was misunderstood
Acclaimed UKIP historian and shit stirrer extraordinaire, Arron Banks, took to Twitter yesterday to point out that "the Russians didn't invade Afghanistan."
The historian and...
Farage to appeal to younger voters by calling them all wankers
Nigel Farage has unveiled his latest plans to broaden UKIP's appeal amongst young voters. Phase one will see Farage travel round the country calling...
Steve Bannon Torn Over Best Way To F*ck The Disabled
Following reports that Donald Trump will no longer repeal an Executive Order protecting LGBT rights, White House insiders have revealed that his Chief Strategist,...
Britain offers to pay off £50 billion European ‘divorce fee’ with jam
Following the news that Cuba has offered to pay its £222 million Cold War debt to the Czech Republic in Rum, Brexit Secretary, David...
UKIP Conference cancelled due to Tory success
The annual gathering of UKIP, scheduled for 16th September, will now not go ahead reports say.
"We have been watching the racism and general xenophobia...
