Future election results to be based on pandemic exam model
Following the overwhelming success of the Department of Education's strategy of grading academic exam results based on teachers' predicted grades and previous attainment levels,...
Poldark overwhelming choice to lead Government of National Unity
Popular TV star, the dark, brooding and enigmatic Ross Poldark has emerged as the main contender to lead a Government of National Unity as...
Theresa May – the facts
Theresa May - the facts
She is planning to get Hello magazine to do an exclusive of her luxury life in No 10
2. She...
Cameron brings attention to himself to avoid attention being on him
David Cameron, pig-fiddling, radish-faced ex-PM has decided to step down as an MP.
Cameron, who nobody has so much as glanced at in Parliament since...
Trump’s presidency is ‘metaphorical, not literal’, says Spicer
Following unsubstantiated wiretapping allegations, president Trump’s press secretary, Sean Spicer, has argued that Trump is the metaphorical president and leader of the free world,...
Trump restores American faith in Bush
Donald Trump has today been credited with restoring America's faith in Bush.
Dwayne Dwight of Alabama told the Herald "I was big into Bush in...
Wonga provide financial aid package as Britain’s credit rating reduced
Payday loan provider Wonga has announced today that it has offered to step in and help the government. The move follows a further reduction...
Failed withdrawal expected to lead to painful Labour
Using the withdrawal method requires a high level of self-control. Even then, the withdrawal method isn't especially effective.
On the face of it (which is...
ISIS Propose Christmas Cease-Fire Kickabout
ISIS troops fighting around the city of Palmyra have suggested that hostilities be put aside for a few hours at Christmas for an informal game of football with opposing ground forces.
Earthlings stunned to learn the meaning of the word ‘Liberal’
Following Donald Trump's election, the entire population of Earth has completely forgotten how to use the word 'liberal'.
Despite the word meaning someone who is...
Politicians human too. Balls!
Speaking on the Jeremy Vine show on BBC Radio 2 this afternoon, Strictly Come Dancer Ed Balls made the outrageous claim that politicians are...
Government announces above-inflation pay rise for vital frontline MPs
Chancellor Philip Hammond responds to calls to offer above-inflation pay rises to public sector workers in Westminster, after a survey revealed that four out...
NHS Swamped by Tourette’s outbreak after Gove and Trump footage surfaces
Accident and Emergency departments across the country collapsed utterly this morning after thousands of people swamped hospitals with suspected cases of Tourette's Syndrome.
Barnier threatens UK leaflet drop to explain Brexit dangers Davis predicts boom days for...
EU chief negotiator Michel Barnier Monday warned that Brussels could take the unusual step of dropping leaflets explaining the dangers of the UK leaving...
Statistics confirm three kinds of lies; lies, damned lies and Boris Johnson’s statistics
UK Statistics Authority have reaffirmed the old adage today that there are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and Boris Johnson’s use of...
Donald Trump to appear on Jeremy Kyle Show
Jeremy Kyle was said to be jubilant this morning after securing an exclusive appearance by Donald Trump.
The show which is titled "Five children by...



















































