Boxer hitting punchbag

Paul Nuttall – Why I Won’t Talk About Fight Club

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Paul Nuttall O.B.E is reluctant to talk about Fight Club, the global phenomenon he founded in 1996. “Chuck and me, we don't talk about it." He...

Only three UKIP leaders till Xmas

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The election of the eleventh UKIP leader in the last calendar year has whipped the country into a frenzy of anticipation as it means...

ISIS win the war by leaving passports at home

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America, Russia and the United Nations admitted defeat earlier today and proclaimed ISIS the winners of the global holy war. President elect Trump has already...

Monster Raving Looney Party offers UKIP electoral pact

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UKIP may have lost all but one of its local council seats in England and Wales, in a disastrous showing in local council elections...
Jeremy Corbyn

Jeremy Corbyn to lose seat under Tory boundary change plans

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Lord Reginald Foxhunter-Shandy said: "It's the biggest boundary shake up since the last one". The plans unveiled today will see Jeremy Corbyn lose his Islington...

Supreme Court rules Theresa May is not allowed to break the law

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In a completely pointless landmark ruling costing millions the Supreme Court has had its final say. Brexit means Brexit, which means both the Houses Parliament...

Clocks won’t go back this month due to EU ruling

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The European Union and the UK Government have agreed that the UK's clocks won't go back an hour in October this year or change...

Mike Pence attends Broadway musical by mistake

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Vice-President elect Mike Pence was roundly booed after he attended a performance of Broadway musical ‘Hamilton’ entirely by accident.
Tory

Tory MP resigns because government is a bit conservative

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Conservative MP Stephen Phillips, who has represented Sleaford and North Hyekham, in Lincolnshire for 6 years has resigned. The word in Westminster is the barrister...

Radical preacher Anjem Choudary Wins a Five-and-a-Half Year Contract to Radicalise UK Prison Population

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The 49-year-old was today offered the position at the Old Bailey after an exhaustive selection process. Police say Choudary will now have a captive...

Substitute teacher to stand in for Theresa May in hope of improving cabinet discipline

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Wilma Beard, a graduate teacher on the books of an education supply agency, has been contracted to fill in for Theresa May in the...
Sean Spicer

Whitehouse denies denying things that were denied last week

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The Whitehouse press corps was today left totally baffled by the latest denial issued by a Whitehouse press spokesperson. The denial was in response to...
David Davis

David Davis organises piss up in brewery on wrong day

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The Secretary of State for Exiting the European Union reportedly organised a smashing piss up in a brewery to celebrate New Year's Eve on...

ISIS Second In Command Killed Again

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The Daily Express has reported for the eighth time this month the death of so called Islamic State's second in command. "He was killed by...

Giant Fish Finger and Lord Buckethead asked by Queen to prepare to govern

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The Giant Fish Finger and Lord Buckethead have been asked by the Queen to prepare to govern Britain. A spokesman for the Palace explained it...

CPS To Charge Corbyn With Electoral Fraud

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Jeremy Corbyn is to be charged with electoral fraud by the CPS following reports that, although clearly unelectable, he has been winning elections since...

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