Watson Denies Corbyn Car Crash Rumours

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Deputy Leader of the Labour Party, Tom Watson, has denied rumours that recent focus groups conducted by the party to determine popularity of alternative leaders involved simulated car accidents in which Jeremy Corbyn was involved in hit and run incidents.
Theresa May

Theresa May shocked and disappointed by contents of freshly installed parliamentary suggestion box

5
Theresa May is said to be both shocked and disappointed this afternoon by the contents of the freshly installed parliamentary suggestion box. The box, made...

Surprise and anger as Boris slips down the ‘worst diplomat ever chart’

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There was consternation in Whitehall this morning as details emerged of several international diplomats who may in fact be much, much worse than Boris...

Theresa May to rebrand Conservatives as People’s Front of Judea to present united front...

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Many alternative names were considered. The United Front of Judean People. This was taken unfortunately by a group lead by David Davis and Sajid Javid. Splitters!

Trump marks Martin Luther King weekend with burning cross on White House Lawn

3
US President elect, Donald Trump, will be hosting a tribute event for Martin Luther Day

We either hunt foxes or your children says Theresa May

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With the Conservatives promising a return of hunting foxes all over the nation face having to run from a vicious pack of slobbering, howling posh twats...
Trump

Donald Trump fails to mention the length of his penis in speech defending western...

9
Donald Trump left an eager crowd shocked in Poland today when he failed to mention the length of his schlong once during a rousing...

Diane Abbot “fed lines through an ear-piece” says former leader

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Diane Abbot's former Leader has claimed the MP is fed her lines through an earpiece so she doesn't have to memorise facts, figures, policy...

Farage to become economic migrant.

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Sources close to the MEP, would be ambassador and professional Admiral Ackbar lookalike Nigel Farage, say he is close to moving the the USA. Apparently...

Hunt solves NHS waiting list crisis with introduction of geological clock

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Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt has solved the problem of NHS waiting times by making hospitals use the geological clock.  After coming under increasing pressure from...

Cummings replaced by Orwell in No.10 reshuffle

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Downing Street today confirmed that Dominic Cummings has been sacked and replaced by George Orwell as the government's chief political advisor - effective immediately,...
Boris Johnson

Ed Millibland defeated again at PMQ’s

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Leader of the Opposition, Boris Johnson, once again tore into Mr. Millibland's 'weak' and 'out of touch' Government. Since successfully leading the remain campaign in...

IT department confirms that turning Maybot off and on again didn’t work

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The latest attempt to reboot the Downing Street operating system failed after the Tory party IT department tried turning Maybot off and on again. Nigel...
Hang the Tories

Corbyn sharing platform with people he disagreed with to create peace, says man in...

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A man who is wearing a t-shirt that reads "Hang the Tories" is insisting that Jeremy Corbyn is an example to everybody for his...

May to seek permission from Rupert Murdoch to sack Boris Johnson

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The Rochdale Herald can reveal this afternoon that Theresa May is alleged to have written to British Prime Minister Rupert Murdoch seeking permission to...

Jeremy C*nt to sue BBC for repeatedly getting his name wrong

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MP Jeremy C*nt has accused the BBC of deliberately getting his name wrong during broadcasts, in order to publicly belittle him. The angry parliamentary member...

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