Downing Street

May to ‘Rasta’ it up

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In a leaked Downing Street memo, it is believed that Prime Minister Theresa May is to reach out to sections of society who feel...

Having cake and eating it disappointment intensifies

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A group of Rochdale toddlers are stamping their feet and crying after they were told that they cannot have their cake and eat it. The...
Hippies Hippy

Nobody arsed about Green Party Manifesto leak

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Last night a draft of Labour's election manifesto was leaked leading to pro Brexit outrage paper, The Daily Mail, drawing comparisons between Labour's proposed policies and...
The Sun

Shadow equalities minister forced to resign after being published in The Sun

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“I was stacked up on Coke and painkillers when I wrote it.” Said the ex-secretary of state for women, men, badgers and quality street.
fox cubs

Percentage of foxes voting for Conservatives hits all-time high

0
A spokesfox for the Confederation of Midland Foxes, who asked to be identified only as Foxy McFoxface said "She might be stark raving bonkers, but at least...
Marxist Bedwetter

Opinions of Entitled Marxist Bedwetters No Longer Valued says LSE

0
Social Science lecturers from the LSE were told they would not be asked to contribute to government work and analysis on Brexit.
Theresa May

May convinced she needs one more f*cking slogan to convince country to back austerity

13
The Prime Minister is said to be personally convinced another f*cking slogan will convince the entire country to back austerity. Catchphrases repeated to the point...

Paul Golding’s Prison-a-thon raises £5,000 for The Refugee Council

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On an uncharacteristically serious note we'd like to thank each and every person who has donated or otherwise supported Paul's campaign for The Refugee Council.
Alex Jones

Alex Jones discusses the Trump presidency

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Good evening. Today I am speaking to Radio host and Bacofoil and batshit salesman, Alex Jones.  Good afternoon, Alex. How are you feeling after Trump's rather...
Britain First

Britain First strangely quiet over Jo Cox murder

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This week saw the conviction and sentencing of Thomas Mair in the case of the tragic murder of MP Jo Cox.  During the murder, the...
Conservative Party

ISIS claim responsibility for Conservative Party Conference

29
The attackers wrote Boris’s jokes, Theresa May’s speech and arranged for all the letters to fall off the wall behind the Prime Minister during her main conference address in an audacious display of comic timing.
Running

DUP explains kneecapping naughtier than running through wheat field

1
Talks between the Conservatives and the DUP are said to be ongoing as the PM desperately tries to cobble together a slim working majority...
Mobility Scooter

Study finds brexit civil war would last as long as average mobility scooter battery...

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A study of mobility scooter battery life has shown that a Brexiteer led civil war would last 9 hours. 6 if the battles were...
David Cameron

Cameron brings attention to himself to avoid attention being on him

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David Cameron, pig-fiddling, radish-faced ex-PM has decided to step down as an MP. Cameron, who nobody has so much as glanced at in Parliament since...

£1.3 billion Cameron scheme a failure

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A scheme launched in 2012 by Cameron's government as a response to the 2011 riots has been an unmitigated failure, according to a report...
Corbyn Elbow Patches

Jeremy Corbyn wins coveted Empty Suit award

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Jeremy Corbyn has been awarded the prestigious Empty Suit award. The ceremony took place in London last night and as tradition dictates Mr Corbyn wasn't...

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