Applause Clapping

Government announces all heroes to be paid in rounds of applause

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Government announces all heroes to be paid in rounds of applause. The first decisive vote in the new session of parliament was passed yesterday...

Terrorists rejoice at lower energy bills as Jihadis unplug TVs

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Terrorists worldwide are saving money on their energy bills as millions of Jihadis unplug their Samsung smart TVs from mains sockets. The move comes after...
Man with lizard face

Britain First Announces Pact With Lizard People

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Britain First, the right-wing political party for twats of all ages, has announced a revolutionary partnership with The Lizard People, a secretive reptilian group of aliens...
May and Cameron

Theresa May Attempting To Make David Cameron Look Better In Retrospect

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Theresa May’s goal as Prime Minister is to ensure that people don’t remember David Cameron’s premiership as the worst in history, it has emerged. Speaking...

Jeremy Corbyn thrilled to get through to judges houses

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The election result has seen Jeremy Corbyn in a new light and he is hoping to continue this form into the next stage of...
Chris Grayling

We can just eat cats, dogs and harvest organ meat from the poor if...

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British farmers would just start rounding up household pets for meat in the event of the UK leaving the EU without a trade deal,...
Britain First

Britain First strangely quiet over Jo Cox murder

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This week saw the conviction and sentencing of Thomas Mair in the case of the tragic murder of MP Jo Cox.  During the murder, the...
Theresa May

Theresa May’s Rituals

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"Theresa May is signalling distress." Dr. Maca Damia comments, viewing photos of the Prime Minister kneeling by the road just inside Wales. "Do you see...
Marxist Bedwetter

Opinions of Entitled Marxist Bedwetters No Longer Valued says LSE

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Social Science lecturers from the LSE were told they would not be asked to contribute to government work and analysis on Brexit.

Tim Farron’s Andrew Neil interview cancelled for Bake off

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Tim Farron has been left looking sheepish in his chair after Andrew Neil cancelled the Liberal Democrat leader's interview just moments into the opening statement. Neil interrupted...

It’s a Global Thing, insists Brexit economist

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Rochdale financial expert and three times bankrupt Brexit economist Ivana Sendham-Bach claimed today that the announcement that the UK was about to enter a...

Rochdale man jumps off cliff and blames friends not believing he could fly for...

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A Rochdale man who sustained life threatening injuries after he jumped off Beachy Head has blamed his injuries on his friends not believing he...

David Cameron having pigs in blankets for Christmas

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A close friend of the Camerons', who wishes to remain anonymous, has said that the former PM 'is looking forward to his Christmas day...

Woman always repeating “no meal is better than a bad meal” now dining alone

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A woman who keeps saying “no meal is better than a bad meal” to the people she’s supposed to have dinner with dined alone...

Jeremy Corbyn found alive and well and working in B&Q

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Jeremy Corbyn has been found alive and well and working in a branch of B&Q. The DIY store is well known for its positive...

Britain offers to pay off £50 billion European ‘divorce fee’ with jam

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Following the news that Cuba has offered to pay its £222 million Cold War debt to the Czech Republic in Rum, Brexit Secretary, David...

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