The Labour Party has denied accusations of ‘Muslim appeasement’ at its annual conference in Brighton, after several eagle-eyed observers noticed that its conference banner featured an image of a mosque.
People from both sides of the political spectrum were outraged by the image and rejected suggestions that it actually depicts Royal Pavilion in Brighton where the conference is being held.
“This just goes to show that the Labour Party has lost touch with the millions of hard-working people in this country who want to harbour an irrational fear of Muslims without fear of being judged by the liberal elite,” said right-wing commentator, Richard Littlenuts. “Not only have they put a mosque on their backdrop but it’s a pink mosque. Typical liberal loony lefties, sucking up to the gayers”
Labour voter Brian Grafter, 48, told the Herald that he saw use of the image as a betrayal of the prejudices he had worked hard to cultivate after years of reading tabloid newspapers: “As a Labour Party supporter I have every right to be offended by something that isn’t actually offensive. As a hard working socialist I uphold my right to be offended because I don’t understand the difference between something that’s offensive and something that I disagree with. It’s every working man’s, and woman’s, prerogative.”
Labour Party spokesman, John Redpath, refuted allegations that the ‘mosque’ image was one of only several examples of the Party trying to appease Muslims and sought to reassure voters that they remained untouched by religious influence of any kind.
“The idea that we have somehow allowed Islamic references to creep into the conference programme is ridiculous.
“First off, I can say without any hesitation that the audience were definitely not singing ‘Corbyn-hu akbar’ when Jeremy took to the stage yesterday. And that wasn’t a prayer mat he was carrying, it was the rug he has to wipe his feet on every time he leaves the address of a known Capitalist.
“Secondly, yes, Diane Abbott was wearing a full face veil but only because we’ve started dubbing over everything that she says and it stops lip-readers deciphering the real words coming out of her mouth and let’s face it, she’s no oil painting is she?
“And finally, we don’t hate Israel because of our support for a free Palestinian state, we hate Israel because we’re anti-Semit… er, because we don’t like the fact that they’ve quit the Eurovision Song Contest.”
However, Redpath did confirm that Labour’s next annual conference would be held in Mecca.
“The Mecca Bingo in central Manchester. It has excellent conference facilities, great transport links, and Andy Burnham says the bacon rolls are so good that even Sadiq Khan might be tempted to give them a go.”