Rochdale – Labour NEC “Can’t find its arse with both hands”
In the face of the least popular Tory Government since the Peterloo Massacre, Labour has decided not to bother being an opposition of any...
Nigel Farage announces he’s to quit politics to become UKIP leader
Nigel Farage has announced today he is planning to quit politics to become leader of UKIP, again.
Actor playing Donald Trump forgets stage directions
Due to White House budget cuts, an experienced but cheap actor was selected for the part. Bit part "character actor" Rowle Player is best...
Rishi Sunak to announce 80% wages to be replaced by a free bike
The Chancellor of the Exchequer is set to announce that the job retention scheme, which sees those workers furloughed by their employer receive 80%...
Corbyn manifesto pledge to roll Tom Watson in carpet and throw into the sea...
Jeremy Corbyn's manifesto pledge to have Tom Watson rolled up in a carpet, beaten with broken pool cues and thrown off Southend Pier at...
People Telling Me I Shouldn’t Have Told Schoolgirl To F*ck Off Can F*ck Off...
The Conservative MP for Wells, James 'Compost' Heappey got all sweary when visiting the massively overpriced Millfield Academy for Young Toffs and Toffettes.
A Scottish...
Brexit Britain won’t be like Mad Max. Mad Max can afford a car
Independent research carried out by a team of so-called "experts" has backed up a comment made by the Brexit Secretary today.
David "What Am I...
Paul Nuttall Converted To Islam
Paul Nuttall has retracted a claim on his Facebook page from 2009 that
he converted to Islam after sharing a kebab with Mohammed Ali.
"I never...
Farage in critical condition after massive overdose
Nigel Farage is in a critical condition this morning after taking a colossal irony overdose.
Brexit Party set for MEP gains. Scientists bring pig brains back from the dead
Early opinion polls show a likely overall victory for the Brexit Party in the upcoming European Parliament elections. Scientists have restored brain activity to...
Big 6 to impose “Christmas Levy” on consumers
The Big 6 electricity providers are set to impose a special levy on households deemed to have displays of more than 5 metres of...
Trump orders Fabergé selfie-stick for inauguration
In preparation for his inauguration ceremony, President elect Trump has commissioned Fabergé, the esteemed and historic jewellery makers to the Russian emperors, to craft...
Simon Danczuk expected to volunteer as UKIP teenage pussy inspector
"Although I'm a Labour candidate, I'll throw my support behind UKIP and volunteer to inspect teenage girls vaginas." Said local full time pornography enthusiast...
Nigel Farage in eleventh hour bid for International Twat of the Year Award
Nigel Farage has made an eleventh hour bid to snatch the "International Twat of the Year Award" from Donald Trump.
May tells Merkel,”This is just a taste of what I’ve got”.
News reports this morning state that the entire city of Hannover is to be evacuated following the discovery of numerous unexploded WW2 bombs.
Apparently, Theresa...
Trump restores American faith in Bush
Donald Trump has today been credited with restoring America's faith in Bush.
Dwayne Dwight of Alabama told the Herald "I was big into Bush in...
