Thatcher to be resurrected on Halloween night to put the caring back into the...

1
The office of the prime minister has reassured the nation this morning by announcing that patron saint of Toryism, Margaret Thatcher, is to be...
Bashar-al-Assad

Shock poll puts Bashar Assad ahead of May and other UK party leaders

0
The first opinion poll conducted since Prime Minister Theresa May called a snap general election for June 8th has delivered a shock result. A staggering...
Lemmings jumpring from cliff

Leamington to become post Brexit English capital

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The Warwickshire town of Leamington could become the new English capital following the United Kingdom's departure from the European union, sources close to prime...
Theresa May

“Don’t worry, my government will soon be gone.” May reassures a worried public

15
Theresa May stood outside 10 Downing Street this afternoon to reassure an increasingly worried country that, "Don't worry, my government will soon be gone." "It...

Radical preacher Anjem Choudary Wins a Five-and-a-Half Year Contract to Radicalise UK Prison Population

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The 49-year-old was today offered the position at the Old Bailey after an exhaustive selection process. Police say Choudary will now have a captive...

Boris Johnson books flight home from New York with Thomas Cook

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Downing Street have issued a statement this morning explaining that Boris Johnson won't be able to attend Prime Minister's Questions today because he's stuck...

Theresa May to woo younger voters with some fava beans and a nice chianti

4
It was announced this morning by ToryDinners4U, a think tank specially focused on food service and traditional conservative values, that the prime minister will...

Corbyn says we’re going to build a wall and Sturgeon is keen to pay...

0
Communist rabble-rouser and socialist firebrand, Jeremy Corbyn, today announced the central plank of his party's manifesto pledge will be to build a wall between England...

Britain faces Sophie’s choice over which incompetent arsehole leads it

0
Britain has revealed it is spoiled for choice on which incompetent aresehole it has leading it. A spokesman told us, "Everyone is cheering at the...
Denis Skinner

Labour foreign policy just Dennis Skinner with a cricket bat

0
Jeremy Corbyn's anti-Trident, peace before war principles have long caused concern amongst critics and fellow MPs. "He'll lie down and let anyone who wants to do...

Brexit Deal Threatens Iconic Rochdale Signpost

2
One of Rochdale's most iconic landmarks, the Welcome to Rochdale; Arsehole of Europe' signpost, has come under threat as Britain gears up for leaving...
Businessman

Brexit means Brexit means Brexit means Brexit confirms EU Brexit negotiator

1
"It's taken us a week to work out just how clever you Brits are," said negotiator Hans Upp. "We thought it was just a...

Labour to legalise Liam Fox hunting confirms Jeremy Corbyn

Labour has confirmed a new manifesto pledge today following the announcement by Theresa May to allow a free vote on reversing the 2004 fox...
Boris Johnson

Boris urges Tories to get behind May as it makes it easier to stab...

1
Boris Johnson has today reprimanded Conservative Party Members for attempting to organise a coup and not asking him to join in. In his message,...
Theresa May

May convinced she needs one more f*cking slogan to convince country to back austerity

13
The Prime Minister is said to be personally convinced another f*cking slogan will convince the entire country to back austerity. Catchphrases repeated to the point...

Nobody fancies Simon Danczuk – Rochdale Herald Poll reveals

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In a shocking twist in the "Simon Danczuk pulled a 22 year old" scandal The Rochdale Herald can exclusively reveal that is was all...

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