If Labour win election I’ll do Match of the Day nude says Gary Lineker

0
Labour bosses have signed up Gary Lineker to work his magic on the election.
Amazon

Amazon reports increase in sales of knives and sharpeners in run-up to Conference Season

2
Politicians up and down the country have been inundating Amazon with orders for back-stabbing knives, hatchets, whetstones and sharpening steels as they ready themselves...

Labour to legalise Liam Fox hunting confirms Jeremy Corbyn

Labour has confirmed a new manifesto pledge today following the announcement by Theresa May to allow a free vote on reversing the 2004 fox...

Hospital waiting times longest ever as people queue to abuse Boris Johnson

0
"Waiting times for the NHS in England are the longest ever and it's because people are waiting so they can abuse Boris Johnson." Rochdale resident...
Adolf Hitler

Hitler “off his tits on smack” claims book

0
A new book about Chaplin-tached proto-Trump, Adolf Hitler, has claimed that he and his fetishist cohorts were totally out of their shiny bonces on...

Warnings issued magic mushroom Brexit brexitius causes hallucinations of £350M week for NHS

10
Health officials in the United Kingdom issued warnings today regarding the consumption of a new species of magic mushroom called ‘Brexit brexitius’ as consumers...

I’m nothing like Steve Bannon – says Darth Vader

0
Darth Vader took to Twitter today to distance himself from "that evil bastard" Steve Bannon after Bannon compared himself to Darth Vader, Thomas Cromwell, Dick Cheney and Satan.
Downing Street

DUP advises British Gas customers to burn witches and Catholics to keep warm this...

41
Princess Diana's body is to be exhumed and hung on a gibbet outside Buckingham Palace to commemorate the 20th anniversary of the last witch-hunt...

Rochdale man jumps off cliff and blames friends not believing he could fly for...

0
A Rochdale man who sustained life threatening injuries after he jumped off Beachy Head has blamed his injuries on his friends not believing he...

Prime Minister Theresa May autobiography to be made into a feature film

0
Footloose 2 will follow the adventures of a band of feisty teens who live in a town where dancing on Sundays is against...

Corbyn popularity ratings soar after ZZ Top grant him keys to magic Hot Rod

0
In what would at first glance appear to be a complete and utter ripoff of an Onion article dating back to 1997, Labour Party...

Anti-facemask campaigners in balaclavas thrilled about Austrian Burkha ban

2
In a welcome development for table thumping foam merchants from the far right, all face coverings have been banned in Austria. For years, members far...

Disastrous mistake warns stopping Brexit would be disastrous mistake

0
A disastrous mistake will warn derailing Brexit will be a disastrous mistake in a speech about a falling over in public later today. In a...
Prime Numbers

Government Set to Outlaw Prime Numbers

0
In a surprise announcement this morning, it has emerged that the Government has released a White Paper aimed at criminalising the use of prime...
Boris Johnson

Boris Johnson granted protected geographical status by EU just like a Jersey potato

7
The EU has announced this morning that it has listed Boris Johnson as a product of the United Kingdom with protected geographical status, just...

Trump Press Secretary buys fireproof underpants

1
The secret of Press Secretary Sean Spicer's propensity for hyperbolic bullshitacity has been revealed.  He has reportedly been wearing a revolutionary new type of asbestos...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts