Scientist

Not all Tories are twats, but all twats are Tories, scientists discover

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Scientists have discovered that not all Tories are twats, but all twats are Tories. We all know that Michael Gove is a twat. Even his...

Tommy Robinson thrown out of restaurant after complaining about ‘Allah Cart’ menu

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Tommy Robinson has been thrown out of a restaurant in Oldham after a campaign event today after starting a row with the manager over...

Trump rushed to John Hopkins with severe burns

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Donald Trump is said to be in a stable but critical condition this morning after being rushed to hospital suffering from self inflicted third...

Trump Invades Iraq

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President Trump has declared war on Iraq after a five minute conversation with Tony Blair. The former British PM, referred to by White House officials...

Supreme Court rules Theresa May is not allowed to break the law

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In a completely pointless landmark ruling costing millions the Supreme Court has had its final say. Brexit means Brexit, which means both the Houses Parliament...
Foodbank

Tories target youth vote by giving food bank users under 30 free Wham Bars

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The Conservatives hope to boost the number of young people applying for party membership by offering them a free Wham Bar every time they...
Corbyn Pram

Woman alleges Corbyn hasn’t paid her for pram PR stunt yet

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Ms Mia Faberge has alleged Jeremy Corbyn is yet to pay her for the PR stunt wherein she lent him her sister’s baby in...

Thatcher to be resurrected on Halloween night to put the caring back into the...

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The office of the prime minister has reassured the nation this morning by announcing that patron saint of Toryism, Margaret Thatcher, is to be...

UKIP Apologises For Not Knowing What Obvious Means

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UKIP were forced to admit today that big words like "joke" and "obvious" are generally beyond their grasp. The announcement came after a social media...

Prime Minister Theresa May autobiography to be made into a feature film

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Footloose 2 will follow the adventures of a band of feisty teens who live in a town where dancing on Sundays is against...

Labour MP Needs To Bathe In Ocean

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Wanky-named cod impersonator and Labour MP Thangar Debonairre (ironically in charge of modern culture!) was recently told to "Get in the sea," by a...

Loud booing interrupted by Boris Johnson speech

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Millions of viewers who tuned into a BBC broadcast of tens of thousands of people booing and hissing at Downing Street today were left...
Theresa May

Theresa May to meet Carwyn Jones to tell him to fuck off in person

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Theresa May is set to meet Carwyn Jones, the First Minister of Wales to reassure him that the needs, plans, hopes and dreams of...
Professor

Nobody could have done better than Corbyn, says Nobody

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Nobody, who is the shadow secretary of state for Northern Ireland, claimed today that, had he been Labour leader, Labour could have won the...
Marty McFly

Marty McFly and Dr Emmett Brown arrested for crimes against humanity for failing to...

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The time travelling duo, Marty McFly and Dr Emmett Brown, are currently being held in the custody of Sheriff James Strickland in Hill Valley, Northern California. Strickland...

£1.3 billion Cameron scheme a failure

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A scheme launched in 2012 by Cameron's government as a response to the 2011 riots has been an unmitigated failure, according to a report...

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