What time is it Mr Woolfe?
Steven Woolfe, a total barrister who serves as a legal adviser to hedge fund managers and bankers narrowly missed his chance to become replacement...
Tories relying on the elderly to forget about the Dementia Tax to win election
After announcing their proposal for elderly social care, Theresa May and the Conservative Party went down in the polls harder than an OAP slipping on an...
Brexit bias uncovered in Westminster
After detailed research, leading academics have revealed a list of staunchly pro Brexit MPs and have demanded that the old, rich white people in...
Donald Trump shocked Democrat voters also allowed to buy guns
Donald Trump was horrified to learn last night that Democrats are allowed to buy guns after being rushed off stage by Secret Service Agents.
London in crisis as Brexit threatens to make house prices affordable
One of the many mysteries wrapped up inside the "Brexit means Brexit" enigma has been revealed. To the overwhelming delight of the capital's aspirational...
Conservative Christmas Party cancelled after failing to negotiate piss up deal with brewery
There was despair throughout the Conservative Party today after government officials announced that the annual Christmas do has been cancelled.
The news comes after many...
HS2 to be built by immigrants
The government is expected to reveal plans to admit up to two thousand migrant workers from the Calais Jungle to help construct HS2.
Prospective workers...
Hitler “off his tits on smack” claims book
A new book about Chaplin-tached proto-Trump, Adolf Hitler, has claimed that he and his fetishist cohorts were totally out of their shiny bonces on...
Brexiters excited to leave the EU posthumously
According to a recent poll, Leave voters up and down the country are excited at the prospect of leaving the EU posthumously.
Following continuous delays...
Jocob Rees-Mogg insists women have absolute rights over bodies, except if they receive gift...
The fall-out from the Weinstein allegations of rape, sexual abuse and unwanted sexual advances continues to widen and include those in political life.
Whilst the...
Conservative MPs unable to point to their constituency on a map
A recent survey has revealed that a staggering 89% of Tory MPs are unable to findtheir constituency on a map.
The survey results, which were...
Tit in Parliament in tits in Parliament row
Andrea Leadsom has found herself an unlikely ally in the UK's war on women and motherhood, Sammy Wilson MP.
Mr Wilson, the DUP MP for...
Daleks to replace ‘exterminate’ slogan with ‘strong and stable’ for 2049 re-election bid.
?Speaking from a neutral zone hyperdock, leader of the New Dalek Empire Theres- Sorry, Dalek Sec, said today that the bid for re-election in...
Farage To Sell Knighthood
Sir Nigel Farage surprised many in the realm this morning when he put his newly acquired knighthood up for sale on eBay.
"I was going...
CPS To Charge Corbyn With Electoral Fraud
Jeremy Corbyn is to be charged with electoral fraud by the CPS following reports that, although clearly unelectable, he has been winning elections since...
French PM Tells Boris “Freedom of Movement or Nothing” then Shuts Calais
British holidaymakers and Brexit voters on their way to France had the opportunity to learn what the term "French border control" actually means over...
