Trump’s view on border wall evolves after learning the word ‘ladder’
Donald Trump has sensationally dropped his controversial border wall plan, a key election promise, after seeing one of his Mexican labourers use a ladder for the first time.
Labour reports sophisticated cyberattack after Jeremy Corbyn’s MySpace account is hacked
The Labour Party has announced that it has been the subject of a cyberattack today.
A spokesman told us, "We first became aware of the...
Leadsom bookies favourite in cabinet deadpool
Professional sexist and political hot potato Andrea Leadsom was under fire yesterday following revelations that her comments about motherhood in The Times during her...
Power hungry arseholes also pervy fuckers shocker
The United Kingdom is in shock this week after an all-party think tank found that power hungry arseholes of all political persuasions are also...
Theresa May makes audacious bid for Jorge Mendes to replace David Davis.
With the transfer window now open, Theresa May is expected to make David Davis available for transfer whilst putting in a bid for Jorge...
Herald Editor panic attack after millennial asks him “what is NATO?”
The editor of The Rochdale Herald was sectioned briefly today following a conversation with a millennial during which he was asked "what's NATO".
Boris resigns to spend more time in storm drain beckoning to children
Boris Johnson has resigned from his position as foreign secretary today, and has returned to his natural role as a malevolent entity which preys...
Marty McFly and Dr Emmett Brown arrested for crimes against humanity for failing to...
The time travelling duo, Marty McFly and Dr Emmett Brown, are currently being held in the custody of Sheriff James Strickland in Hill Valley, Northern California.
Strickland...
Obviously you should agree with me, it’s 2017 say progressives, obviously
People across the nation are up in arms that other people don’t apparently realise that it’s the current year.
“It’s 2017,” said Faye Zbuk-Warrior,” I...
Twitter scientists confirm discovery of human parrot hybrid that only speaks Tory
The BBC’s most insightful political journalist has been discovered to be a species of parrot and awarded a delightful new name today by natural...
Trudeau Promises Canadian Citizens A Wall. ‘U.S. Will Pay’
Canadian Premier Justin Trudeau reacted to the news of Donald Trump's election as US President by announcing plans for a wall to be built...
Brexiteers Celebrate Scrapping of Human Rights Act
Today The Justice Secretary announced the scrapping of The Human Rights Act as outlined in the Tory Manifesto to a room full of Sith...
Theresa May thrilled that Russia thinks she’s competent enough to stage poisoning
Bill Board, spokesman for the Government, has told The Rochdale Herald that Theresa May is privately thrilled that the Russian Government has accused her...
Grenfell Tower survivors offer Michael Gove their last five pounds to bugger off
Survivors of the Grenfell Tower disaster suffered a further shock last night when esteemed Tory minister Michael Gove was spotted in the vicinity.
It's believed...
Toddlers appointed to lead Brexit negotiations
David Davis is to take a back seat in the upcoming Brexit negotiations, having decided that a two year old called Davis Davis from...
Corbyn train lie proves case for nationalisation
After it was revealed today that Jeremy Corbyn lied about having to sit on the floor of a train he claimed was ram packed,...
