People nobody has heard of resign from party that no longer has purpose
UKIP, the party whose sole purpose was to foster the UK public to vote to leave the EU- which happened despite them- is apparently...
Jeremy C*nt to sue BBC for repeatedly getting his name wrong
MP Jeremy C*nt has accused the BBC of deliberately getting his name wrong during broadcasts, in order to publicly belittle him.
The angry parliamentary member...
Corbyn goes 39 under par beats Kim Jong il’s record
Jeremy Corbyn has announced his decision to retire from Golf after taking it up yesterday and shooting a record breaking 39 under par at...
Tim Farron tells press ‘I can’t wait to be in charge after election’
Liberal Democrat leader Tim Farron feels his party is heading for glory, glory hallelujah in the newly called June election, and that he is...
Theresa May refuses to attend the General Election
After appointing her recently bereaved Home Secretary, Amber Rudd, to take
flack from 'the most left wing audience since a Stalin rally' - Daily Mail,
in...
May tells Merkel,”This is just a taste of what I’ve got”.
News reports this morning state that the entire city of Hannover is to be evacuated following the discovery of numerous unexploded WW2 bombs.
Apparently, Theresa...
Amber Rudd launches Hate Thy Neighbour initiative
Amber Rudd announced plans today to crack down on the current outbreak of human compassion sweeping the country.
Compassion has been on the rise recently...
In absence of dragons, brave knight slays thousands of poor, disabled and homeless
Albion; pleasant, fair and green
In the year of our Lord, 2020
Dragons were few and seldom seen,
Yet poor folk were a plenty
Though dragons were vanquished...
Make America Great Again
We keep hearing Donald saying he's going to make America great again, sounds good to us but we were curious to find out when...
Not enough evidence to convict Danczuk of rape says CPS
The Crown Prosecution Service has declined to prosecute Simon "Shagger" Danczuk on the basis that they are not confident they will secure a conviction.
Hammond to tour UK comedy circuit with budget routine
After recently testing his new material in Parliament, Chancellor Philip Hammond has decided to take his own brand of political comedy "on the road."
His...
Home Office Play Matchmaker for Rochdale’s Bridget Joneses
The Rochdale Herald can reveal controversial Home Office plans to settle new male immigrants in areas of Britain with too many single women in...
Conservative Christmas Party cancelled after failing to negotiate piss up deal with brewery
There was despair throughout the Conservative Party today after government officials announced that the annual Christmas do has been cancelled.
The news comes after many...
Dick Braine elected leader of Dicks for Brains
Mr Braine was the favoured dickhead ahead of his predecessor, Gerard Batten, who resigned after Dicks for Brains' poor performance in the European elections...
‘Corporal punishment should be reinstated’ – people against Sharia law
A recent survey of lobotomised knuckle dragging fuck nuggets revealed that they are fighting against the values that they themselves hold most dear.
We caught...
Tories “Limited and specific” law breaking given thumbs up by criminals
As the UK government is apparently comfortable breaking international law over plans to unilaterally overwrite part of the Brexit withdrawal agreement, The Rochdale Herald...
