Rock, Paper, Scissors

Council election draw decided by ‘Rock, Paper, Scissors’

0
In a remarkable turn of events, there have been two draws in results in the Local Council elections. Northumberland County Council saw Conservative and Liberal...

Britain faces Sophie’s choice over which incompetent arsehole leads it

0
Britain has revealed it is spoiled for choice on which incompetent aresehole it has leading it. A spokesman told us, "Everyone is cheering at the...
David Davis

Brexit talks in crisis after Michel Barnier unfriends David Davis on Facebook

8
The UK's negotiations with the EU hit a stumbling block today, after it emerged that Michel Barnier has unfriended David Davis on Facebook. Brexit secretary...
Amber Rudd

Amber Rudd launches Hate Thy Neighbour initiative

25
Amber Rudd announced plans today to crack down on the current outbreak of human compassion sweeping the country. Compassion has been on the rise recently...

Boris Upsets Sturgeon Over Calls for New Indyref

0
Boris Johnson today ran into further hot water, or perhaps hot oil, over comments responding to Nicola Sturgeon's view that only an Independent Scotland...

Amber Rudd announces plan to ban envelopes

0
Home Secretary Amber Rudd has announced that envelopes will be banned from the end of the month. The Home Office has also announced that all...
Theresa May

Theresa May confirms Brisrael means Brisrael

4
Theresa May today confirmed that "Brisrael means Brisrael" when asked about the Israeli Embassy's interventions to promote or destroy the careers of British MPs. "Look,...
Paul Nuttall

Nuttall pulls out of Stoke by-election

0
NHS hating, pathological liar and leader of UKIP, Paul Nuttall, has today pulled out of the Stoke by-election after it was revealed that his remaining...
Boris Johnson

Leave means Leave says Boris Johnson’s Girlfriend

0
Boris Johnson's girlfriend has apparently told a befuddled Boris Johnson that leave means leave during a heated row at her flat in the early...
Theresa May

May supported by Cabinet, which was put together by same carpenter who hung Conference...

0
The PM today insisted that she is fully supported by her cabinet; a flat-pack Nordik 465 Ikea bedside cabinet in white Formica, that she...
Guess Who

UKIP select new leader using Guess Who

0
UKIP have announced their new leader having given the process over to the childrens game, Guess Who. UKIP member Cliff Edge said, "With dwindling membership...
Blue Passport

Man left fuming after blue passport cover turns out to be Prussian blue

0
A Rochdale man has spoken of his anger after his new blue passport cover turned out to be Prussian blue with gold lettering. Cliff Edge...
Pensioners

Remain camp optimistic about outcome of second referendum following forecasts of harsh winter

4
Reports of a harsh winter allied with a fuel crisis has buoyed hopes of remaining part of the EC. Remain campaigner Frank Anwalther said "We...

George Osborne seen in Waitrose buying fava beans and a nice Chianti

16
Following news reports of comments made by Old Screw Eyes, former chancellor of the Exchequer, serial job hoarder and moneybags George Osborne, it appears...

Brexit a Fucking Shambles, Says John Major

0
Former Prime Minister and voice of reason John Major has confirmed in a speech that the ongoing government brexit negotiations are a fucking shambles. Major,...

Paul Nuttall celebrates victory with speech outside 10 Downing Street

0
UKIP supremo Paul Nuttall was in jubilant mood this afternoon after seeing his party win the 2017 election with a landslide victory. After visiting Her...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts