Tate & Lyle sponsor cabinet meetings

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After what critics are calling a feeble effort to tackle childhood obesity the government is now in hot water again as it transpired that...

Nuttall loses close personal seats in election disaster

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Accident prone Paul Nuttall, leader of UKIP, faced fresh tragedy today after learning that all his ‘close personal seats’ were lost in an election...
Chris Grayling

Chris Grayling announces he’s pregnant after taking Covid-19 antibody test

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Chris Grayling has revealed he's pregnant after he took the new Covid-19 antibody test.  A spokesman said, "It came as quite a surprise for Chris...
Bearded "hipster"

Hipster twats demand clean shaven white twats condemn terror twats

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Nathan Barley led calls today for clean shaven white twats to “take responsibility for their community.” “It is imperative, at this time of national crisis,...

David White follows The Rochdale Herald on Twitter

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The editorial team were said to be jubilant at the news this evening that former England, Leeds and Manchester City centre forward David White...

New cold war looms as Trump aspires to make American prostitutes better than Russian...

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Concern that America is falling behind Russia in the pay-for-sex industry was allayed last night after President Donald J Trump announced a new ‘hooker...
Cherie Blair

Tony Blair’s legacy like that of a modern day Churchill, confirms Justice Cherie Booth

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Justice Cherie Booth has ruled in a landmark case that the former Prime Minister cannot be prosecuted over the Iraq War. Former Iraqi General Abdul...

Monster Raving Looney Party rejects Douglas Carswell for being TOO weird

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Having survived a terror attack last Thursday the British parliament has been delivered another shock with the news that the Official Monster Raving Loony...

King Joffrey to perform Iain Duncan Smith knighting ceremony

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Joffrey I Baratheon, King of the Andals and the First Men, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms and Protector of the Realm is to perform...
Theresa May

Brexiters puzzled to find out what Parliamentary Sovereignty actually means

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Theresa May has been left with a political bloody nose after she was unable to convince enough of her own party to swallow her...
Corbyn Shape The Future

Labour leader confirms that he has a plan to break the country as well...

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Jeremy Corbyn has closed this year’s Labour conference with a rousing speech to his Corbynista fans explaining his plans for an entirely fictitious and...
Man with shocked face

Trump appoints David Duke to head Black Lives Don’t Matter initiative

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Dr David Duke, former Grand Dragon of the Ku Klux Klan, Senate hopeful and all American Nazi Screwball, has accepted President Elect Donald Trump’s offer of a key advisory role in his new government.
Champagne Socialist

Champagne socialist accidentally reveals cost of scrapping tuition fees after drinking warm prosecco

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A Rochdale champagne socialist has accidentally revealed that the cost of scrapping tuition fees would be £100bn. Anthony Taylor-Twyford revealed the cost at a...
Jeremy Corbyn 1980's

Conservative MP apologises for tweet alleging Corbyn was a politician in the 1980’s

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The Conservative MP Ben Bradley has conceded that Jeremy Corbyn did no work as a Politician in the 1980’s and has agreed not to make the allegations again.
Time Magazine

Trump towers above the little people for TIME magazine

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President-elect of the USA Donald J Trump has been named “Person Of The Year” by TIME magazine which referred to its own nation as...
Businessman

Brexit means Brexit means Brexit means Brexit confirms EU Brexit negotiator

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"It's taken us a week to work out just how clever you Brits are," said negotiator Hans Upp. "We thought it was just a...

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