Government’s Brexit staff all writing “Trekking in Nepal” on CV’s

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Recruitment agencies report an influx of fresh CV's today all listing activity from late summer last year until today as "Trekking in Nepal". All the...

David Cameron In Shock After Key Attack On Shed

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A member of the radical far left group Momentum is in custody this evening after apprehension following keying of the paintwork on David Cameron's...

Trump says IKEA table he ordered arrived ‘pre-blown up’

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President Donald J Trump is convinced that ‘something bigly bad’ has gone down in Sweden, after a dining table he ordered from IKEA arrived...
Michael Gove

We’re nothing like Michael Gove, insist Weasels

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Weasels are up in arms at being compared to Michael Gove after reading an article in The Telegraph today that speculated that he may have "weaselled" his way into Theresa May's cabinet.
Theresa May

Theresa May to raise voting age to 35

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Senior Tory advisors, still reeling from Thursday's disastrous election result which provided a hung parliament, are said today to be telling the prime minister Theresa May that something serious has to be done about Britain's broken electoral system.

Brexit a Fucking Shambles, Says John Major

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Former Prime Minister and voice of reason John Major has confirmed in a speech that the ongoing government brexit negotiations are a fucking shambles. Major,...
Rich People

Millionaires ‘very sorry’ following £70,000 fine

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A political party full of millionaires has said that the huge £70,000 fine they received for breaking electoral rules will really teach them a...
unhappy man

Google crashes as 17.4m people Google Parliamentary Democracy

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Internet search engine Google has been brought to a standstill as a reported 17.4m people searched for the phrase "Parliamentary Democracy" this morning. The Daily...

Left wing politics should be kept out of schools, say right wing parents

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People who are quite happy to have their kids going to schools where the armed forces recruit, monarchy is glorified and the status...

UK Government leads world in stable door shutting contest

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The UK government has taken the lead in the worldwide contest to shut the stable door long after the horse has not only bolted...

Gove Demands Westminster Soft Play Area

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Michael Gove MP caused elation inside Kate Hoey MP today with his demand for a soft play area at the Palace of Westminster. Gove, the...

World leaders tackle climate change with massive party and flights home on private jets

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The world's elite gave their 100% commitment to climate change this Monday by having a colossal piss up then returning to all corners of...

Biffer mentions bacon and thinks it’s hysterical

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Steven Faratrump from Rotherham today went on Britain First's Facebook page and headed straight to one of the thousands of anti-Muslim posts and quick...

Grant Shapps hires ferry fleet to transport people back to offices

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Transport secretary Grant Shapps is so convinced that going back to work in offices is safe, that he has hired a fleet of ferries...

Substitute teacher to stand in for Theresa May in hope of improving cabinet discipline

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Wilma Beard, a graduate teacher on the books of an education supply agency, has been contracted to fill in for Theresa May in the...
Secret Santa

Boris gets a turd in a box in Cabinet Secret Santa

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We heard today that during the final cabinet meeting of 2016, Secret Santa gifts were distributed between Ministers. Chancellor of the Exchequer, the right honourable...

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