Boris Johnson

Boris Johnson Sits In With Infant School Maths Class, Answers 350 Million To Every...

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Boris Johnson seems to have a one-track mind when it comes to numbers. While visiting an infants' school in Rochdale, he sat in on...

OFSTED Chair in hot water over Rochdale “toilet block” comments?

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Ofsted chairman and former complete banker David W Hoare is in hot water again after, according to our anonymous source, allegedly describing our beloved...

Met Office advise all future storms named Storm Boris until May gets the balls...

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The Met Office has released a statement this lunch time advising that all storms to hit the United Kingdom this winter will be named...
Letterbox

Boris Johnson looks like a c*nt, say letterboxes

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Letterboxes around the UK have stood by their remarks about the Boris Johnson after the Post Office chairman asked them to apologise. There is broad...

“Why does nobody believe me when I say I’m sorry?” asks woman with made...

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A woman who made up a fictitious CV in order to secure a series of well paid jobs in The City is about to...
Queen and Philip

The Queen asks Merkel to form a government

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Her Majesty the Queen is expected to travel to Berlin later today to ask German Chancellor Angela Merkel to form a government for the...
David Davis

David Davis tells Select Committee the dog ate his Brexit Impact Assessment

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David Davis, the Secretary for Probably Exiting the European Union, has confirmed to the House of Lords Select Committee that he has definitely done...

Jimmy Young “Masterminded Thatcherism” says Released Documents

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In documents now only released after his death Jimmy Young has been revealed as the Mastermind behind the social & economic policies of Margaret Thatcher.

Clocks won’t go back this month due to EU ruling

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The European Union and the UK Government have agreed that the UK's clocks won't go back an hour in October this year or change...

Dig for Victory, says Corbyn facing Brexit economic doom

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Jeremy Corbyn, leader of the opposition and the second coming Jesus Christ our Lord and Saviour, has set about his first week back in...

Corbyn says it’s the pits for May

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Bouyed by his Saturday Durham Miner's Gala deification in front of the last 200,000 or so flat-cap wearing left-wing supporters in the country, Jeremy...

UK wakes up in shower and realises it was all a dream

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Season 6 of the failing blockbuster drama Brexiting Bad has plumbed new depths of plotting. Following episodes where lead character Boris Johnson got angry and...

Corbyn hospitalised after collapse

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Man of the people Jeremy Corbyn was today airlifted by helicopter to A&E after a suspected smugness overdose .  The incident occurred just moments after...
Smiling woman

Woman appalled by Alabama abortion laws ‘sort of aware’ of Northern Ireland

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LLocal woman Mia Wombley has been telling everyone she knows about the horrendous new legislation in Alabama.  Local senators, duelling their banjo strings, have...

Exclusive CIA interview: Russia definitely baddies.

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The Herald, your only reliable source for news these days, has yet again got the scoopiest of exclusives, today we interview the CIA...
Marine Le Pen

Le Pen assures voters that despite National Front name change they are still massive...

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In a bid to allay concerns that the name change from National Front to National Rally will dilute the purity of the party, Marine...

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