Poll reveals public wants good old fashioned political sex scandal
A Herald survey reveals that public perception of politicians lean towards disappointment at them not having any juicy sex scandals anymore.
Carried out at the...
Put lipstick on a pig and it’s still an attractive pig says David Cameron
Embarrassed confusion reigned over the little Cotswold village of Slapstick-cum-Quickly as local resident David Cameron joined a misheard conversation and totally got the wrong...
Trump and Putin plan the partition of Poland
It’s been revealed that American President Donald Trump and Russian President Vladamir Putin have agreed to partition Poland between their two countries.
Both leaders...
Corbyn popularity ratings soar after ZZ Top grant him keys to magic Hot Rod
In what would at first glance appear to be a complete and utter ripoff of an Onion article dating back to 1997, Labour Party...
Putin’s money was just resting in my account Trump tells James Comey
Donald Trump has dismissed as fake news any suggestion that money that has appeared in his account is anything to do with collusion with...
Jeremy Corbyn to lose seat under Tory boundary change plans
Lord Reginald Foxhunter-Shandy said: "It's the biggest boundary shake up since the last one".
The plans unveiled today will see Jeremy Corbyn lose his Islington...
Daily Express reveal AIDS originally created by Corbyn as anti-Tory bio-weapon
Ground-breaking new research by Daily Express reveals Labour leader, Jeremy Corbyn, created a modern day plague in league with the IRA
As we all know,...
Blair and Farage to launch new political party together
The two political heavyweights have decided to 'put aside their differences for the future of the UK' they said in a press release.
The party,...
Fuck it what’s the worst that can happen Theresa May tells journalists
Theresa May has dramatically announced the date for triggering Article 50 with a press conference today.
Before pressing the big red button that triggers...
Badgers vote for cull of Conservative MPs
Radical badgers have declared Dingley Dell an independent sovereign state and have threatened violent action against Conservative MPs in response to the continuing cull.
The...
Farage to appeal to younger voters by calling them all wankers
Nigel Farage has unveiled his latest plans to broaden UKIP's appeal amongst young voters. Phase one will see Farage travel round the country calling...
Theresa May accused of muttering in parliament “fuck em, let em starve”
Theresa May was accused of muttering the words "fuck em, let em starve" in parliament on Wednesday.
May appeared to mutter the words during a...
Supreme Court rules Theresa May is not allowed to break the law
In a completely pointless landmark ruling costing millions the Supreme Court has had its final say.
Brexit means Brexit, which means both the Houses Parliament...
Hunt solves NHS waiting list crisis with introduction of geological clock
Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt has solved the problem of NHS waiting times by making hospitals use the geological clock.
After coming under increasing pressure from...
Gun sales rise 300% ahead of Trump Inauguration
American gun sales have enjoyed a steep rise in the days leading up to the President elect's inauguration.
"It's almost 200% more than when Bush...
Theresa May to meet Carwyn Jones to tell him to fuck off in person
Theresa May is set to meet Carwyn Jones, the First Minister of Wales to reassure him that the needs, plans, hopes and dreams of...
