Boris Johnson

‘Shit dont stick to this, fam’ says Boris Johnson

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Non-stick coating manufacturer Teflon has today announced a lucrative tie in with Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson. The company is believed to have lined up an...

If the Irish don’t want Apple’s £11BN tell them we’ll have it – say...

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It transpires that North Sea Oil Revenues now contribute £60Million to the Scottish revenue pot, down from almost £13Billion a couple of years ago...
Paul Nuttall

Bottoms up for Nuttall

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In an unprecedented move, UKIP leader and shampoo user of the year 2008, Paul Nuttall, has finally come clean about his much debated past. "Now...
Applause Clapping

Government announces all heroes to be paid in rounds of applause

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Government announces all heroes to be paid in rounds of applause. The first decisive vote in the new session of parliament was passed yesterday...

Auschwitz could be next Centre Parcs if they just knock down the gas chambers

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A Government official is alleged to have told an audience at a fringe event of the Conservative Party conference that Auschwitz could become a...
Brick Wall

Remainers celebrate Brexit anniversary by repeatedly bashing their heads against brick wall

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The tens of millions of people who voted to stay in the European Union, and those that wished they had but couldn't be assed...

Disastrous mistake warns stopping Brexit would be disastrous mistake

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A disastrous mistake will warn derailing Brexit will be a disastrous mistake in a speech about a falling over in public later today. In a...
Justine Greening

Secretary of State for Education, Justine Greening shows concern for pupils “Not talk good”

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In the UK, education has always been of paramount significance, on par with the National Health Service, or ensuring that MPs have enough income...

Having cake and eating it disappointment intensifies

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A group of Rochdale toddlers are stamping their feet and crying after they were told that they cannot have their cake and eat it. The...

Nuttall loses close personal seats in election disaster

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Accident prone Paul Nuttall, leader of UKIP, faced fresh tragedy today after learning that all his ‘close personal seats’ were lost in an election...
Corbyn

Jeremy Corbyn is a bit shit, admits former Momentum leader Robbie Tomlinson

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Former Rochdale Momentum leader, Robbie Tomlinson, whose real name is Stuart Taxley-Gibbon, has admitted today that Jeremy Corbyn, leader of the Labour Party, is...

Heath department hails compulsory organ donation as possible way to pay for Brexit

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Sources inside the Department of Health this evening are said to be excited over the Secretary of State's alleged contribution to the debate about...

David Duke retracts Trump endorsement saying no room for “locker room banter” in politics

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In sensational news today David Duke, the former head of the Ku Klux Klan, has withdrawn his support for Republican Presidential Candidate Donald Trump.
Theresa May

Get behind my shit deal or we won’t be able to do dreadful thing,...

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Theresa May has urged MP's to get behind her awful Brexit plan or risk not being able to have Brexit. With many people warning that...

We want to control our own borders! As long as our borders stay in...

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Today small minded people up and down the land were in uproar as rumours that the cheese eating surrender monkeys want the English border...

America To Be Renamed Trumptopia

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Donald Trump has announced a new step in his plan to make America great again - he's renaming it after himself. In a press conference,...

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