America To Be Renamed Trumptopia

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Donald Trump has announced a new step in his plan to make America great again - he's renaming it after himself. In a press conference,...
Dumpster Fire

Dumpster fires unhappy about comparisons to US Democracy

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Skip fires around the world have declared they are unhappy with being compared to the US democratic process.
Pensioners

52% support euthanasia bill

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The Government has been urged to hold a referendum on euthanasia following research that showed that 52% of voters would support the introduction of...

Theresa May makes audacious bid for Jorge Mendes to replace David Davis.

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With the transfer window now open, Theresa May is expected to make David Davis available for transfer whilst putting in a bid for Jorge...
Lego

Proposed Irish border solution scattered Lego bricks and sign saying ‘please remove shoes’

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Brexit negotiations have hit a "a real problem" over the issue of the Irish border, government sources have confirmed today. Hopes of a breakthrough were...

Campaign to buy McDonnell new calculator raises £65,000,000

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The public have rallied behind calls from Robert Chote, the Chairman of The Office for Budget Resposibility to buy The Shadow Chancellor, John McDonnell, a new calculator.

Blair and Farage to launch new political party together

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The two political heavyweights have decided to 'put aside their differences for the future of the UK' they said in a press release. The party,...
Nazi Uniforms

Nazi slammed for organising Conservative Party themed stag do

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A member of the Nazi Party at the centre of a controversy over a Conservative Party-themed stag do, is to step down as Obergruppenfuhrer...

Trump says he didn’t sexually assault 3.52 billion other women

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Bewigged bouffant buffoon, Donald J. Trump, an actual potential president, made the claim at his latest rally. The tiny handed eater of souls came under...

UK’s youngest Brexit voter has died aged seventy three

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We met in a small cafe in Westminster. A reporter for the Rochdale Herald and Britain's youngest Brexit supporter. Shining another glass to make...
Theresa May

Prime minister says, “Boris Johnson is not undermining me, I’m doing it all on...

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The woman who thinks she's British prime minister stated clearly today, and repetitively, “Boris Johnson is not undermining me, I'm doing it all on...

Farage to Play Farage in “Brexit the movie”

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Spielberg declined to outline the full plot of "Brexit" but did confirm that it would involve a number of "dream sequences" in which Farage wrestles and kills a great white shark, unearths the ark of the covenant, liberates Auschwitz, clones dinosaurs and rescues an American soldier trapped behind German lines in world war two France.

Tories fined £20 million for pumping untreated sewage into people’s brains

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The Conservatives are facing a hefty fine after it has been discovered that their manifesto pledges and reassurances over Brexit were found to contain...
Angry

Rochdale man who’s never voted pledges to ‘bring down Torie scum’ by voting Green

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Gareth Thundlestick from Scumsunk crescent, Rochdale, said he became politically active after ruining the suspension on his 1986 Ford Capri whilst negotiating a pothole too fast. "That...

Scientists baffled as average IQ of North Korea drops 20% this afternoon

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SScientists around the world are struggling to make sense of strange information coming out of North Korea this afternoon after the average IQ of...

Johnson replaces Cabinet with the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse

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Boris Johnson committed himself to leading Britain into 'a new chapter' yesterday. Downing Street sources revealed that the chapter referred to by the tousled...

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