Good evening. Today I am speaking to Radio host and Bacofoil and batshit salesman, Alex Jones. 

Good afternoon, Alex. How are you feeling after Trump’s rather unexpected election?

“Well, Zsalty, I tell ya, I am walking in the air! I literally floating in the midnight sky at the news that American democracy is actually alive and well and hasn’t been raped by the communist gay moon Jew agenda! This is evidence that not everyone is asleep anymore and some of us are using our God given brains to filter out the liberal trash.”

So you must be looking forward to his presidency, as a Conservative yourself.

“It’s going to be red-blooded truth from dusk till Dawn’s pussy, scream hallelujah from the highest, and seeing the dusky Kenyan Lord of Islamic State in God’s America brought down, down, down like a record baby, down, down, deeper and down brings a tear to my Conservative heart and now we’re gonna get the truth of all those false flag, faked up Benghazi boondang bull lies that HOOSAIN Obama and Shillary Killary Don’t Spillary Mrs Billary Clinton have been hiding all this time from the true-”

Right, right. Take a breath, mate. So will you miss your job? You look 60 but you’re actually 44 aren’t you? Quite young for retirement.

“Son, I ain’t never retiring! If this leftist, feminazitized excuse for a government thinks I will be silent while it drags God fearing patriots like foals to the slaughter from their beds of freedom and seeks to use its dark brown ops and secret service storm-troopers shouting Heil and praising Satan lock them up in secret FEMA camps while I sit back with you brain-damaged morons sitting in front of your CNN being spoon fed whatever liberal diarrhoea is on their post-Stalinite agenda today then they truly have lost their fu-”

Alex, Alex, Alex: but it is a Republican government and Trump is in control. Donald Trump, he’s going to be the president now. If the government is putting people in camps it’s going to be on Trump’s orders.

“It’s… He… Birth certificate! Benghazi! Nine eleven! Inside leg! Nnnnnnnnggggggg! Fuuuuurrrrgghhhh! MOON JEWS! IT’S THE MOON JEWS! Moooooon Jews!
Splur pick’t tump booo! Ergle! Jews? Jew… Jew…. Jew?Moon Jews?”

Er, yes. Well it seems Mr Jones has come down with something and is rather unwell. We’ll leave it there.

This is Scott Zsalt, Shill for the Zionist Reptilian New World Order, The Rochdale Herald. Good night.