Politics

Britain's oldest island refugee centre, Australia, is to be closed following reports of inhumane conditions and bonkers management. The centre, set up in 1770, has seen controversy after controversy during its operation but will now...

Reports ejaculating out of Hamburg indicate that the secret meeting between President Trump and Vladimir Putin transcended sharing a duvet and gorging on Hagen-Daaz. The White House has U-turned on its decision to disclose information...

The collection of gammon faced halfwits known as the UK Independence party has appointed the internationally famous cat abuser Mary Bale as an advisor on cat welfare issues. Mary will advise Gerard whathisface, this week's...

The Secretary of State for Exiting the European Union reportedly organised a smashing piss up in a brewery to celebrate New Year's Eve on the 29th of December. "It would have been a cracking New...

Accident and Emergency departments across the country collapsed utterly this morning after thousands of people swamped hospitals with suspected cases of Tourette's Syndrome.

That bloke in charge of the Liberal Democrats and Vince Cable are confused today as people keep calling them Tory lite. “We’re totally against Brexit,” explained Cable, “SO how can we be anything like the...

Tragedy stricken leader of UKIP, Paul Nuttall (105), faced fresh disaster yesterday when he lost a close personal election in Stoke. "Everything was looking good, we were confident our misguided and bigoted message was getting...

Theresa May is set to meet Carwyn Jones, the First Minister of Wales to reassure him that the needs, plans, hopes and dreams of the Welsh Assembly will continue to be ignored by Westminster. Wales,...

The UK government has taken the lead in the worldwide contest to shut the stable door long after the horse has not only bolted but run amok and impregnated every mate it can lay...

Postmen across the country are refusing to open and empty letter boxes after being led to believe they could contain anything including bank robbers and Muslim women. Correspondence Logistics Operative (the job formally known as...

Michael Gove has once again hit out at "experts" at The Bank of England.

In a hair raising exclusive, The Rochdale Herald has discovered the secret to the frankly unhinged character of the Foreign Secretary, Boris Johnson is linked to his unconventional hairstyle. We spoke to his hairstylist, Quiff...

Conservative leadership candidate hopeful Andrea Leadsom was remaining tight lipped this morning following revelations that she has 'pulled a u-ey' over the recent referendum that hinged around turkeys. Unless you've been living in a cave...

Put your hands on the car and get ready to die. Home Secretary Amber Rudd confirmed today that the Police and Criminal Evidence Act (PACE) 1984 has been updated to include a right to dispense...

Jeremy Corbyn has today promised to end the bloody civil war that has plagued Syria for the last 4 years with nothing but good intentions, a packet of Wagon Wheels and a pot of...